Pain is a horrible thing, but, of course, an essential element to life. Without pain there could be no existence for an individual. Important as it is, pain is one of the most difficult things to overcome. With pain comes stress, another element of life. Stress ensnares the deepest feelings of one's heart, making them vulnerable to any sort of attack. Of course there are several types of pains. Physical, mental and... emotional. Getting an injury to the material body sends out a feeling that our body naturally wants to reject. Cutting of the skin, or some sort of sickness forces the body to be idle for a while. It also provides the vessel with the task of healing. This process takes place over some time, depending on the wound involved.

Mental damage is understandable. Some infants that are prematurely born or have some sort of defect often have this obstacle. Most are not concerned with this type of ordeal but with some stressful and painful situations cause a block in the brain. The person is no longer able to go through with certain thought processes. Most people with this case are being taken care of in homes of some sort or taking medicines.

Then...there's...emotional pain. Rejection and sadness are often causes of this. Rejected by someone you cared for, or sadness of deaths, loses, frustration and so the list goes on.

The amazing thing is that one small event can cause all this to happen, and I was a victim of a horrible, wonderful emotion no one could ever understand. Now I wonder why anyone needs this, entanglement of crazy elements of the heart. Love is the most complex emotion that causes pain and joy, passion and hate. So, when someone says 'I hate you' does that mean they also care for you? I still wonder to this day, why I was ever able to love. I now see that I'd do better without its intricate, deceiving lies.

And a simple, four-letter name was the cause of my fallen fate, of my insecurity. The beauty of my world, for my joy and happiness. For my pain and suffering.

Hiei

He was my life and he took every part of my existence, all reasoning away from me. Not only that but he broke my soul into so many pieces and left just as many wounds that I'll never really recover from it. The shock of his words still scars my mind, even if it has been a month. I haven't talked to him in so long. Avoiding him and almost quitting the Reikai team because I was scared of seeing him. He would give me a colder glare than his usual and snap at me if I tried to talk about what happened. I can predict it because I've watched him more than he realized. I stared at him without him apprehending it. I took in every detail, every reaction on his face to anything that happened. I took in the tone of his voice and even translating every 'hn' uttered under his breath. As expected, all of them contained the phrase, 'or die'. It didn't surprise me a single bit. That's the way he was, cold with a black heart.

He had a hard past, but he never really told me everything. I was left to decipher the parts that I could. Hiei's history was a giant jigsaw puzzle to me. One that I will always be solving, trying to fit one piece to another.

With his ruthlessness, cruelty and hatred, I somehow, someway found a small glitter of light. Some sort of warmth coming from a lonely heart surrounded by a thick crust of ice. Maybe I thought he needed someone for him, to help him understand what it's like to be loved. Of course how foolish I was to think it was me! Why did I have to be so self-centered? I never thought she could make him happier than I could. Why her of all people? I heard him complain so many times about her manner. How she always threw him out when they disagreed. I always provided a home for him when that happened, and I remember laughing as he raided my freezer with a passion. Him and that sweet snow, the only ningen thing he loved, though he'd never admit to it. I know I was being ridiculous when I started to envy the ice cream because of all the attention he was giving it.

Memories are always with us, no matter what. Whether good or bad they come back to haunt you.

It was a cold night, windy with a hint of fall in the air. Kurama leaned against his windowsill. The gusty, cool wind hit his face, blowing his red locks around behind him. Friday nights were usually lonely. His mother, stepfather, and Shuichi went out for dinner but he decided to stay home. He never really went out with them, he didn't like being in public. Plus with the load of homework he was given he wanted to get it all out of the way.

Kurama shivered lightly and moved from the open window. Sitting down on his bed he wondered about several things. He looked at the window, and frowned. He hadn't seen Hiei in a long time, not that he was worried or anything. He just missed the company the demon gave him.

He was brought out of his daydreams by the phone. Kurama sighed and stood up. Quickly picking it up.

"Moshi-moshi?"

"Yo, fox boy what's up?" Yusuke's voice came from the other line.

"Oh hello Yusuke, what is it?" Kurama asked, looking around his room.

"Well uh, Hiei may be coming over there soon. He came to the temple to see Yukina. Kuwabara and his stupid dumb ass had to get him pissed off. So this is a warning, you might have a annoyed demon on your hands tonight." Yusuke said laughing loudly.

"What did he do?" Kurama inquired curiously.

"Said lots of stuff and hit on Yukina." Yusuke's laugh calmed down a bit.

Kurama sighed. "I knew that, I was talking about what happened to Kuwabara..."

Yusuke snickered. "Got beaten badly. It's so funny, he looks dead. Anyhow I gotta spilt with cha, see ya fox boy." Then the line went dead. Kurama hung the phone up.

So Hiei was coming over, good. He wanted to see the demon again. It had been months since he had last seen him. Kurama walked back over to his bed and lied down. It was getting dark and colder. November was such a beautiful month, with the crisp air and the dried leaves crunching under your feet. More and more people bundling up on the streets. People hanging up early Christmas lights around their stores and houses, getting ready for the holidays after Thanksgiving.

Kurama felt his eyes close as he drifted into a light sleep. He dreamed of his times as a youko, the time he knew no real fears. After all he WAS the most infamous bandit in all Makai. He did what ever he pleased without anyone objecting. Then when he was reborn as a human, he developed feelings of fear, love and loneliness. He didn't want to steal; he didn't want to hurt people. His heart was that of a human's now. It took some time to understand and get used to the idea of it but it eventually sank in. Then he met Hiei and everything that was bad turned good. He no longer minded his human form at all. He just wanted Hiei so badly. He was, for the first time in his long life he was in...love.

Kurama's emerald eyes opened when he felt tapping. His eyes met crimson as he sat up.

"Oh Hiei...how long have you been here?" Kurama asked, yawning lightly. Hiei sat on Kurama's bed, arms crossed and eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Fox, we need to talk...and clear a few things up. Right now..."