Why Me

Disclaimer: I own nothing at all, just thought you should know.

Chapter 2: His feelings

What am I going to do, he thought desperately. He had waited five days since his well rehearsed love confession to Lily and she hadn't uttered a word to him. Not one word. You'd think after he had spilled his heart to her, she could at least spare him a pity glance or something. Not avoiding him as if he had leprosy. But on the other hand, that was the way she had treated him since they had started Hogwarts, except meaner. She would treat him like a disease ridden person and insult him at the same time. He was so frustrated and full of curiosity. Maybe the fact that she wasn't insulting him for once was a good sign. But who knew, this was Lilly Evans he was talking about, the most confusing girl he had ever known and to conveniently fall for.

All of his friends had told him that these things took time and that he should go get some sleep, instead of worrying himself sick. But how could he sleep when this whole situation was driving him crazy? So there he lay, completely awake, thinking, while the clock continued ticking on.

He had taken his time for years waiting to tell lily he loved her and all she could do was cry. He didn't expect this reaction, he expected her to realize that he had tried to change for her. And he had changed for her because he loved her, and it wasn't a lie. He didn't know what he had done wrong or what he had said wrong, he had even rehearsed with Sirius and Remus...

"So when are you going to tell her" Sirius asked two days ago just as they were about to go to sleep.

"I don't know", James said, annoyed, as he sat on his bed.

"Well 6th years almost over"

"I know"

"So are you?"

"I don't know"

"Well you gotta tell her how you feel at some point."

"No…I… umm…I don't know", James said for the third time, putting his head in his hands. "

"What's with all the I don't knows, James? Is that all you can say in regards to miss Lilly Evans?" Said Sirius.

"No, I just… I don't think I can do this"

"Well you've got to at some point, you know, if you really want her"

"You make her sound like she's a conquest"

"Well, isn't that why you want her so badly, she's the only one you haven't been able to woo with your Jame-sy charm."



"No, James loves her. Isn't that right James?" said Remus suddenly, who had apparently been listening in on their conversation the entire time.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. You…you… Love her? " Sirius said horrorstruck. "I knew you had a thing for her, a strong thing, but I didn't think you Loved her"

"Well James, do you love her?", Remus asked seriously.

"I…Yes"

"Do you care about her"

"Yes"

"Then you should tell her"

"Will you help me?"

"Whoa Prongs, we're not telling her for you"

"No, I mean help me practice…or rehearse or something?"

"Are you kidding mate?"

"No…I don't want to screw this up. It's important"

"Okay prongs, if it's important to you, then it's important to us. Okay so first things first. Who's gonna be Lily?" said Sirius.

"I think you should be" Said Remus.

"Oh goody I can get in touch with my feminine side" Sirius said as he batted his eyelashes.

And I'll tell you if you've said anything wrong or remotely pricky", Remus said.

"Ok let's start"

"umm... Lily I need to tell you something."

"Yeees...Jamesy Poo", Sirius said in a squeaky voice.

"Padfoot be serious"

Oh right... What do you want Potter I don't want to talk to a prat"

"Padfoot..."

"Sorry couldn't help it"

"Ummm I-I-I Lily... am I doing ok Remus"



"yes. I think the stuttering helps to convey the importance of what you are trying to say to her", Remus answered wisely

"Umm... Lily I think I ummm..."

"Yees..."

"James what are you planning to tell her", Remus asked.

"That I love her"

"But are you going to tell her she's beautiful"

"Well yeah and that I love everything about her"

"Well first get started with that and then as you work up confidence then say you love her."

"Alright..."

And so they practiced all night. And the next day, when he had gathered enough courage and cornered her after tranfiuration, their last class of the day, he began. At first she had seemed confused but during the speech her face went from hard and cold to soft and caring. He thought he had done relatively well, aside from all the stuttering and all, but before he knew it she was running. And now he was lying on his bed with dark circles under his eyes, depression sinking in wondering what Lily was doing and if she was thinking of him.

A/N thanks for reading :