MEMORIES
A/n: ok I am not much of a song-fic fan. But after I heard this song the other day, I was like this is SOO much Chris in any moment of the show. So I had to do it. I picked this moment. I hope you like it, please let me know. (Set during Prince Charmed!)
DISCLAIMER: I do not owned charmed, nor none of the dialogs that are in here!
A/N2: THIS ONE GOES TO EMMA... SINCE SHE LOVES SAD STORIES!!
Chris orbed himself to his favorite spot in the Golden Gate Bridge. It was dark and cold..
Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan
The wind played with his hair, and the sound of the cars below him disappeared in the misty San Francisco. For Chris, in this night, the lively San Francisco was empty, because he felt so alone, he doubted there was someone else left in the world.
-"Chris, We don't need your help. I will get my son back. And when I do.. I don't want to see you anymore" She said, breaking his heart in a million pieces, he could expect anyone to say that.. he was waiting for one of them to say that.
But his mom? Of all the people in the world? He was his baby... you will get your son back! What about this other son, mom? The one that risked everything, to make sure your precious little boy, doesn't kill you mom? The one that loves you so much, that spent almost a year without hugging you, without telling you how much he loved you, just for your own sake...and Wyatt's... also Wyatt's...It's always about Wyatt...everything... his father, his mother, the world, he even, came back to an almost certain death, just for Wyatt. It was always Wyatt.
When it would be Chris' turn? Just for a change. When would Chris, have his five minute span of undivided attention? Wyatt always came first... and Chris.. he didn't even come second.. he would always come last.
He thought he would be happy in the past, where his mom and aunts were alive. But having to live everyday with their suspicions, with their hatred. It had been so hard. And it was getting worst.
-"Wyatt...thinks I am threat" He remembered himself saying.
-"Yes.. so do I" His own mother thought he was a threat.
His father.. he was use to, his father never cared about him. He didn't even know why.. What had he done to his father, for him to ignore him so much? His father never trusted him...not even in the future. The few times he was around, he only pay attention to Wyatt. And whatever Chris said, was ignore or distrusted.
Memory, all alone in the moonlight
I can dream of the old days
Life was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again
He remembered his childhood. Those precious moments when his mom loved him, his aunts loved him, Wyatt loved him. Everything was perfect. And perfection lasted so little, in Chris' world. It was the world telling him, he didn't deserve happiness. He was paying for an uncommitted crime. Just when he thought his family was starting to like him...this happened.
But there was a time when Chris knew what happiness was.. he just was so little, that he barely remembered. Wyatt started turning evil when he was ten, and his mom was the only one that believed him. There was something wrong with him. Yet now, she was the first one to stop believing in him... He kicked him out.. His own mom. And yet... He just wished his mom didn't believe him, so she didn't have to live with the pain of knowing that Wyatt will turn evil. Just like he did, every day since he could remember.
He had loved his brother, he had been a good brother when they were little. And Wyatt always loved him, in a twisted way. Everyday... Chris would woke up.. wondering who was going to die that day, knowing it wasn't going to be him. Because no matter how hard he fought against Wyatt followers, they had strict orders not to hurt him. If something ever happened to Chris, Wyatt would make the responsible one, suffered a very painful and slow death. Yet, he could kill his own mother. Wyatt wasn't evil, Wyatt was insane. And the evil powers took advantage of that.
Every street lamp seems to beat
A fatalistic warning
He wonder what turned Wyatt? What drove him insane? It could be anything, and that was killing him. The deadline was looming, whatever happened, happened before he was born. But it was so horrible not to know what, to distrust everything and everybody. Cuz anything could have turned him.. everything was threat. Chris lived everyday in fear, in pain...everyday edgy, intolerably nervous, some days he thought he was the one that was going to loose his mind! And having his whole family hating him and distrusting him, wasn't the best way to relax.
Someone mutters and the street lamp sputtersOrbs sputtered in front of him, and someone muttered:
-"Good place to think isn't it?"
His dad, he was probably here to bitch at him some more. Because, maybe he thought he wasn't hurt enough!
-"What do you want?" He answered angry.
-"Just to talk"
Yeah or more just to make you suffer, right? Are you enjoying seeing that I actually care?? Well guess what, Dad? I have no more strength to fight. I have no more strength to pretend I don't care anymore.. YES IT HURTS, big deal! I am human, I feel. Happy DAD?
-"You know Chris trust is a precious commodity, once you loose it ,its pretty hard to get it back"
Are you happy now? Yeah I bet you are so euphoric, right?... Now, no one trust me!.. That is what you have been waiting for month, and now you came just to rub it in my face.. Congratulations! You won the major price.
-"Where did you read that at? Out of a fortune cookie?"
Now your son, that you never could care less about, really screwed it up! Why you never cared about me?? You BASTARD! Why you never trusted me?? I didn't ask for anything...ever! Just that you trusted me, for a change! That you gave me half the chances you gave to Wyatt. Why, dad? Why?? All I ever did was tried to please you. Try to make you proud, and you never even looked my way.
-"Don't be a smart ass, it doesn't help you cause!"
Nothing helps my cause when it come to you DAD, NOTHING. No matter how hard I try, I always screw it up in your eyes. And now.. now you should be pleased. I really screwed it up.
-"My cause. Pretty much screw that up, don't you think?"
-"I don't know.."
-"Are you saying that you still trust me?"
Soon it will be morning
Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
He felt a ray of hope invading him. His father, of all the people trusted him. He couldn't help feeling happy, and he hated himself for that. His father had abandon him a long time ago. Chris didn't care about him or what he had to say. But the yearning for his father trust, his father approval, was still there. No matter how hard he tried to burry it.
I must think of a new life and
I mustn't give in
And his father's trust, gave him some renew energies to start fighting again. To remember his trip had a purpose and his mission should be fulfill. He even started hoping he might succeed.
-'its not my trust that matters, it's the sisters"
-"I know"
His hope died again. He remembered, not even his mother trust him. Why would his father? But somehow he seemed more interested in helping him. Than in exulting himself in his pain.
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin
Burnt out ends of smoky days
He remembered his mission, all he worked so hard to accomplished. If he saved Wyatt, his life might be saved too. And he wouldn't be forced to relive all those slaughters, all that pain. Maybe Bianca would be alive again, and the aunts, and his cousins. All those memories would never exist... He would be able to hold everybody he ever loved, again. He would have to stop pretending, he was a lot tougher than he really was. Maybe, even his father would pay attention to him this time. He gave his father one more chance. Mainly, because he had ran out of chances.
-"So what do I do?" He asked
-"Just be straight with them, that's all, don't manipulate them. Even if it is for the right reasons. And for what its worth, yes, I do trust you. After all you saved my son from turning evil, didn't you?
The stale court smell of morning
A street lamp dies
Another night is over
Another day is dawning
Touch me,
Hope invade him again. He couldn't believe his ears. For the first time, in a long, long time, he wanted to hug his father. His father trusted him. His father thought he had done something worth mentioning. He regain all his lost forces, nothing was going to stop him from saving Wyatt.
-"For now" He answered.
Leo orbed away. Leaving a bitter-sweet Chris alone in the Golden Gate Bridge in yet another crowed, foggy night in San Francisco..
It is so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
-"Dad...don't leave me alone, the happy memories are more that I can bear" he muttered to the air. But he promise himself, he'll save Wyatt. And in his next life time, happy memories, would just be happy memories. Not a painful reminder of what one day was.
Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life and
I mustn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin
Burnt out ends of smoky days