I close my eyes once again. Still not believing I'm about to see Scully. The person who has never left my mind since I left. Is it true? Have I somehow blocked her from me with these previous negative thoughts? I then hear Melissa's voice again.

"Now, I need you to take deep breaths in through your nose. With each breath you become more relaxed. I want you to tighten and loosen all of the muscles in your body from your head to your toes one at a time. Making your whole body entirely relaxed with absolutely no tension. "She pauses allowing me to release the tension in my body. "Now, I want you imagine a garbage can. I want you to clear your mind of all other thoughts and place them in that garbage can. Now that garbage can is gone and your mind is clear. Now imagine a black sky. Just a black sky with no stars. See yourself floating up toward that sky. Now, I want you to go to a field. A field where nothing can bother or harm you. All you feel is peace everywhere. How it looks is up to you. Picture the way you would wish it to be. She's waiting for you there, Mulder. Call out to her."

I've done everything that Melissa has instructed me to and now I find myself standing in that field. There is tall grass all around me and a forest in the background. The sound of running water can be heard in the background somewhere. It is truly the most beautiful place I have ever been to. Turning my head to the right I see a silhouette. I can feel my heart beating rapidly as I anticipate it getting closer. It's then that the sun reflects off its face. And I instantly recognize it. "Oh my god....Scully?" I breathe. I continue to stand there completely transfixed at what I am seeing before me.

"Hello, Mulder." Scully answers back with a smile. She is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. She's dressed in a white summer dress with a bodice at the top. She literally looks like an angel to me. The only thing missing from her are the wings on her back. A radiance seems to surround her as she slowly approaches me.

I continue to stand there and stare at her unable to move. Is this a dream? Is this real? I then quickly dismiss these negative thoughts remembering what Melissa told me earlier. I am completely entranced by this beautiful, gracious swan approaching me. It's almost as if she has me under a spell. There are so many things I want to say but I find I have no voice. The wind lifts up her gorgeous red hair, which spills across her shoulders.

She steps up to me and stops saying nothing for a moment. Raising her hand and reaching forward, she connects it to mine. As soon as our hands come together a bright white light emanates from us. A feeling courses through the both of us and is unlike anything I have ever known. She tilts her head up to me and smiles. "I've missed you."

I feel myself trembling as I stare back at her. Oh god how I've wished for this! "I've missed you so much." I answer back. I then lean my head slowly down to hers and tilting my head place a tender kiss on her rosy lips. A light once again surrounds us as she returns my kiss and I place my arms around her. It almost feels as if a rope has connected us or something. The feeling within me is incredible. As strange as it is, I can smell that faint odor of honeysuckle coming from her hair. I can touch it with my hands. I then pull back from our kiss slowly. "Scully, I.."

"Sssh." She replies placing a finger on my lips. "Don't say anything. Not yet." She takes my hand in hers. "Walk with me, Mulder."

I follow her as she leads us through the field and down a path. I can hear birds chirping around us as we make our way over to a grove of trees. As we come through the trees I then see the source of the water I had heard in the background, a tiny stream. The water can be seen pouring over the rocks and pebbles in the stream. I take a seat next to her as she finally settles down on a bank. At this point I don't know what to do or say. I'm just afraid that I may do something and then she will suddenly leave.

"I'm not going anywhere, Mulder." She answers looking at me.

I stare back at her with a confused look. "Scully, how did you..."

"I can pick up on things from you, Mulder. We've reconnected again, you and I."

"Reconnected?"

She nods. "You closed yourself off from me with all of those feelings you had. Now that you've freed yourself of them, I was able to come to you and reconnect again."

"I....I don't understand."

She droops her head." After you left, I was so distraught, Mulder. I felt like my entire world had come crashing down. I felt lost, hopeless. I clung onto that email you sent me as if it were my whole life." She pauses. "And I just kept...secretly hoping that I could see you again. That I could see your face and touch it. That I could....have you hold me in your arms..."

I realize the feelings she is describing are exactly the ones I have been feeling myself. "Go on." I whisper.

"It consumed me. And then one night Melissa appeared to me. She told me that I could see you through astral projection. Of course at first I thought it sounded crazy but I was so desperate to see you that I was willing to try anything. So she lead me through the steps and I went to try and find you....but I couldn't. It was like I was hitting some kind of force field or something. I could see you but I couldn't get to you. I had to just stand there and watch you sitting on the floor consumed by sadness. It...it tore me apart because there was nothing that I could do. I've been....in this field for weeks, Mulder. Wandering around here aimlessly. Secretly praying that you would break through your misery so that you could join me here. I...I wanted that so much."

I take my hand and place it under her chin, raising it to me. "But I'm here now, Scully. And I'm never going to push you away again. I just wish I had known I was doing it sooner. Had I known that you were just inches away from me, I....never would have had those terrible feelings." I look deep into her eyes. "You and William are all I have thought about ever since I left. I questioned so many things, Scully. Whether this quest of mine was senseless. Was it more important than you? If I was responsible for everyone that had died including your sister because of me."

"No, Mulder."

"I know that now. Melissa came here tonight to show that. She showed me so much, Scully. She showed me that I am not the loser I thought I was. That I never forced you to follow me. That I didn't abandon you and William. Oh god I'm so grateful she came to me." I take her hand and squeeze it. "She's saved me."

"Saved you?"

I nod. "There are so many things I wanted to tell you Scully. I've wanted to tell you so many times in the past but I was afraid. I figured there would always be time later. And I thought you would just laugh at me as has happened in my past before. But I'm not afraid anymore." I place my hand on the side of her face. "You are....the most beautiful, intelligent, loving woman I have ever known. You're everything to me, Scully. You...changed my life forever. My life was....hopeless and dark until you came into it shining your light. You made all of my nightmares go away that had plagued me for years. You...were my inspiration to keep going from day to day no matter how tough it got. You were the reason I never put a gun to my head and pulled the trigger. You put sense into my otherwise dreary life. And that night that you chose to be with me was the best night of my life. And when you had William...I knew my life would never be the same. I never thought I would be ready to settle down but I am now." I pause as I slowly rub her cheek. "I love you, Scully. I always have and I always will." As I stare into her bluish green eyes I can feel another burden lifted off of me. I can only hope her response will not be something the total opposite.

A tear trickles down her cheek. "Oh, Mulder. You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear that from your lips. I've always felt it from you but I knew you were afraid and I respected that. I love you too with all my heart and soul. I wouldn't change anything that's happened with you for anything. Every case, all the pain and suffering we have been through together. As terrible as it was, it brought us closer. And what is happening now is no different. What you are doing is to save us. And...I know that somehow, you will come back to William and I when it's safe. And....until that day comes we can still see each other in this way." She places her hand on my heart. "And here. Whenever you need me, you can always look in your heart and both William and I will be there with you." She places her hand on the side of my face. "Always."

My impulse grows as I lean into her and brush her lips with mine. I kiss her tenderly and drink in her tender, pouty lips. Those lips I have missed so much. I deepen our kiss slightly as I place my arm behind her neck and push her to me gently. She is so beautiful. I'm surprised as I feel her push my lips apart with her tongue and connect it with mine. She tastes so wonderful. I've never forgotten that taste all these months. And now it fills my entire body and spirit. I continue kissing her as I slowly lower her to the ground in the grass.

She reaches her hand up and begins to caress my hair as we continue to kiss, our lips never missing a rhythm. She takes her other hand and runs it under my shirt, caressing my bare skin.

I moan escapes my throat as I feel her touch. Oh god it has been too long! My hand slowly wanders down her body as I continue to kiss her. Pulling back from our kiss, I move to her neck and begin to kiss it slowly as my hand goes under her dress caressing her silky leg. I hear moans coming from her as I continue to explore her neck with my lips, finding all the sensitive areas I remember. We are both getting caught up in the mood. I then pull back and look at her. I'm not sure how things work in the astral plane but I figure I will try anyway. "Scully, may I make love to you?" I whisper caressing her hair on the ground.

She looks back at me and smiles. "I can't think of anything else that would make this visit complete."

My heart leaps at her response and I reach forward taking her lips again. I slowly undo her bodice and slide the dress off her and she follows suit with my clothes as well. Soon we are lying in the grass with no barriers between us. She looks just like a goddess lying there looking back at me with her hair spilling behind her. Perfection. I slowly make love to her and indulge in her body and moans. She feels so wonderful and I can literally feel my head spinning. I can feel the ground underneath of us as we move together until we both reach our ecstasy at the same time. And the feeling for me is unlike anything I have ever known. It is better than any physical pleasure I could ever hope to achieve. I feel my soul filled with her. Ours souls are reconnected once again.

We lay on the bank in each other's arms, caressing and whispering to each other for what seems like hours. I never want this night to end. I want nothing more than to hold her here with me. She then sighs and sits up. "Scully, what is it?"

"I have to go, Mulder." She answers putting her white dress back on and tying the bodice.

Her words stab me in my heart. No! She can't be saying this! "No, Scully. You can't. I just got you back. I..."

"I'm afraid I have to, Mulder. I have a son and life to get back to." She slowly rises from the ground and brushes her dress.

I quickly grab my clothes and put them on. "Scully, no. Please don't leave me!"

She smiles at me and places her hand on the side of my face. "Mulder, I told you I will never leave you as long as you keep me in your heart. Whenever you call out to me I will be there. We will always have this field to go to. But the important thing is that you must remain strong for the both of us, for William. That is the only way that we will get through this separation together. Now that we have reconnected, I know that I have that strength and that hope. Don't sever that bond, Mulder. Please don't."

"Never." I whisper back taking her hand and kissing it.

"I...I have to go."

I find myself not letting go of her hand even as she moves away from me. It feels so soft in mine. I'm trying to fight the impulse of not wanting her to leave but I'm losing.

"Please, let me go, Mulder."

I reluctantly release her hand and watch as she slowly backs away from me. "I...I love you." I reply as tears stream down my cheeks.

"And I love you. And remember I will always be with you in your heart and here in this field when you need me. Be strong." She then blows a kiss at me and disappears.

I feel my body jerk and suddenly my eyes fly open. I find myself no longer in the field but back on the ground out in the desert. I blink my eyes a few times and shake my head. I find myself alone once again. I slowly rise up from the ground and head back down once again to my refuge. But as I go back to it, I feel an entirely different new feeling now. I can do this. I will find the information I need and save this planet. And I know now I am not alone anymore. She is with me spiritually and will give me the strength I need to carry on until we meet in the physical again.