Harry Potter (you know, that weird nerd with that messed up scar on his head, abnormally good luck, thick skull, you know who I'm talking about) was walking in a corridor with Ron.

"So, for some reason we don't have classes right now because...well we had to have some free time...so where do you want to go for no apparent reason?" Harry asked Ron.

"Oh, man! Dude, I know this like totally sweet new spot where we can totally chill like we're dawgs man, totally!" Ron said.

"Ron?"

"Yeah, what up, dude? Tell me what you thinking man, come on spit it out dude!"

"Why are you talking like that?"

"I dunno. Just decided to catch up with the time, you know?"

"No."

"Chill, man, we're cool."

"No, it's kind of warm right now."

"My brother, man, dude, oh man."

"So what is this 'sweet spot' you speak about, Ron?" Harry asked stupidly.

"Right here, my brother!" Ron and Harry stopped at a small door.

"Oooh, if it's sweet, that must mean it's another secret passageway to that weird Hogsmeade candy store! Ooooh, I'm SO excited! Weee!" Harry clapped his hands excitedly and girlishly.

Ron opened the door to reveal a small janitor's closet.

"Ain't it sweet?" Ron asked.

Harry picked up a mop and licked it. "Tastes a bit salty to me. And where's Hogsmeade?" Harry asked.

"This ain't no Hogsmeade, brother! It's the closet, man!" Ron picked up a small dustpan filled with the remains of a rat. "Hey look! It's Peter Pettigrew! Oh dawg!" Ron exclaimed.

Harry squealed and climbed to the top of the mop he had previously been licking. "Dog? Where? I'm afraid of big canines!" Harry cried.

"Not dog man! Dawg!" Ron explained.

"What's the difference?"

"Aw, dude. Totally sad," Ron said, shaking his head slowly and referring to Harry Potter.

(I wrote 'referring to Harry Potter' for all you idiots out there reading this.

But if you are an idiot, how can you read?

I must ponder that. Anyway, on with the story.)

So anyway, Harry and Ron were in the janitor's closet. Harry was examining a bucket of vomit from Neville from earlier that day when Mr. Longbottom had been observing one of the Ripley's Believe it or Not books. (When Neville spewed, or barfed, Seamus Finnigan and friends laughed at him hysterically and named him 'Ne-spill Longbutt.'

Just then Hermione swung open the janitor closet door. "Ron! Harry! I've been looking all over for you! I simply must tell you something! It's truly very important!"

"Get away from us you fat ugly cow who grazes on the cud of information!" Ron said angrily.

"Why Ron, that's quite intelligent of you! It must have taken you all week to think that up for me!" Hermione said.

Ron smiled proudly. "Well actually, it took me this past month. Aren't you proud of me, Hermione? And look, I made up another one: Hermione, you are a stinky poopy butthead. Do you like it? Aren't you so proud?"

"Very proud, you Weasel," Hermione said, kissing Ron on the nose. Ron giggled.

"Your relationship is very strange," Harry said.

"Indeed!" Ron and Hermione exclaimed.