(10-23-04, technically, it's 12:05 AM) Sorry, I uploaded this about three days ago and forgot to post it, and also had a crapload of homework... Or... something... I really can't remember why I didn't post it. Now, my review thingy is being dysfunctional, when I click to view reviews from chapter three it says I have none, so if I skip our review on accident, it's, well, on accident.
kaida13- Scaring innocent children is fun. That's what I'm gonna be doing on Halloween in a week... Going to Eclipse's house, scaring innocent children as they trick-or-treat... Actually they aren't all that innocent... You kinda get an idea of that in this chapter... Wow! Yay! Read on.
HanyouToni- Poor, poor little Hiei... :gets mauled for calling him that:
kiinu- Yeah... When I get my license, you probably won't want to come anywhere near my state! Muwaha! Lucky for you that won't be for another two years, at least... Actually, I'll probably be spending too much time in the hospital to be much threat on the road... Wreck my car, break my arms, suffocate in 42 front, side, other side, back, top, seat, foot, shoulder, wrist, nose, eyelashes, and ponytail-protecting air bags...
A-chan-otaku- I doubt he burns it off. I considered that but then he puts the same one back on sometimes... I assume, unless he carries extra bandana/wards in his pocket all the time...
Dark-Shadow-Goddess89- ... I want a flying pie... to hit a certain person in the eye... A certain person who I want to die... Poisened cheese on rye... Hey, I wrote a haiku poem for Japanese class! About a fox! Yay! :dances: It took me like, a second. It just was suddenly there. Boom! Bang! Pow! Kaflewy!
xkuroxshinobix- you sound enthusiastic... yay...
Zephyr Minamino- Wasn't that picture lovely? Hiei's so cute. Really. I can't say as that I can describe anybody else on YYH as cute, but Hiei, the least likely to be cute, is cute. HE'S CUTE! :dances: I'm gettin' a poster! Have Hiei on my wall! Yah!
Mari Youma- Yes. Shadow and her reinforced titanium skull... We're learning about titanium in science class... Yay... They use it in hip replacements... I want a titanium hip... I want a titanium skeleton... MAHA! That'd leave a mark...
Spatial Monkey- You sound very enthusiastic... If my friends (other than Eclipse) read my stories, I'd never hear the end of it. I'd be harassed. "I can't believe you wrote that!" "And you call me a pervert! You have no room to talk!" They'd be finding themselves bludgeoned and lying on the side of the road someplace.
UnicornGirl-DragonLady- Congrats. I dunno how I wrote that little speech about not being Hiei, it kinda just was there, and I don't remember writing it and it was weird and... Stuff... Whatever. I'm tired, dude... :falls asleep on the keyboard:
Silver Moon Assassin Crystal- Yeah... That...
Psychopathic Maniac Girl- I... Like... POTATOES! Actually, I kinda don't, only baked potatoes, or cheesy potatos... Me and Eclipse were having a discussion about cheese. We like cheesy potatoes, and cheese and nachos, and cheese on crackers, but not cheesy movies. We had to watch a 1953 movie in English. There was a growing, glowing, pulsating brain in a fish tank taking over some dude's mind... Laaaaa-aaaammmmeeeee...
Carri- 'Ja mata' or 'Ja mata ne' is an informal good-bye, one you'd use with friends. Pretty much it means 'see you later.' 'Sayonara' is more formal, you'd use it with teachers and, well, elders... Superiors, whatever... And I don't feel like facing wraths right now, my weasel minions need a vacation... They're overworked and underpaid... Not that they mind their work, tearing humans apart and all... ANd I'm glad you had sick thoughts because that was kinda my goal... :D I'm evil.
Okami Youkai- I like potatoes too! Wow! :)
Kiara Jaganshi- Eck, review cut off... I'm taking Japanese, that's how I know stuff... Well, in this story and everything after, but all my previous stories, I just used what other people said stuff meant, so that could be wrong... in Bishounen Abduction especially, I used a crapload of Japanese without really knowing what it meant. Shame on me. I should edit that... But I'm too lazy. But Japanese is a really cool language and I like learning it... Funfun.
sanzoeclipseku... Ah, hell, I'm calling you SEKAH (if you don't mind.)- You... Are slightly nuts. But that's cool! Did you really draw that thingy about the Kurama looking sexy what with the flowers and the petals and the sleeping sexiness of whatnot and all? And let's not even think of what would happen if the entirety of Team Urameshi was turned over to Karasu... Sick. Nasty. :shudder: We are not going to think about such things. No. Bad. BAD llama! BAD! No cookie!
LivingImpared- You said "like" twice in one sentence? I said "like" like, ten times in one sentence, like in this one I've already said "like" four times. Lol. And, yes, I am capable of being annoyed, however it takes a lot, and few people can do it intentionally. If you try to annoy me, you're most likely to fail. Cheesy potato. I, however, can annoy anybody I want to whenever I want to, I'm just too nice. And I don't want a reputation of an annoying, stuck-up, smart-mouth witch.
Water-Rose- Yes, garbage can. She is a virgin. Sexual favors do not always mean the act of sex, and she has just offered to live in someone's garbage can, she never has... Literally or figuratively... Well, I'm not so sure about literally, actually... :shrug: The phrase has nothing to do with literally living in a garbage can, where you throw candy wrappers and banana peels and whatnot. There's a long story to go with that term.
Saeble- Sites didn't show up... Email them to me... Must have WR music...
purplepizzaeatnmonkey- Yes, wonderful... Hiei... MSN butterfly... The possibilities are opening before my eyes... My tired... um... What? I can't think of any other adje-verbs... I can't even remember what the damn things are called...
Flame34- I'll make a good picture of Norman and post it on myotaku... With all my other art...
MysticRaccon- Sane people who read my stories seem not to like them as much... So it's a good thing you're nuts, for your sake.
Kitsune Klepto- I don't see why you shouldn't... Knock yourself out... Err... Figuratively speaking, of course. But if you wanna take it literally, well... Not my concern...
Hedi Dracona- Lol. That's an interesting way to look at it...
aamei1012- Yes... I tend to have randomness in my stories... I am like, Goddess of the Random, etc etc and all that good stuff...
Celebrindae- I was joking about the velcro thing, I highly doubt Hiei would wanna go through the trouble of velcro-ing his headband, though it might be easier, he probably doesn't exactly have velcro, being as he was in Makai for the majority of his life... Like, minus a year or two?
Kuramakicksass- Good grief, don't read my stories during school! They have... er... questionable content. I'd get in trouble if I were reading something like this in school... Hell, I'd probably not even be allowed on the site... Bastards.
Shessha's Crazy- Yes, ma'am, I saw a very small picture of that and wondered what the Hell Youko had butterlfy wings for... Fill me in... Unless it's major spoilers.
God... Review responses are as long as the damned chapter!
CHAPTER FOUR
The Evil Innard-Eating Flesh-Ripping Bloody Murder Look
"Wakie wakie, sleepy head!" Shadow said, poking Hiei in the chest. He grumbled, brushed her finger away, and rolled over.
"Go away."
"Nope! You gotta get up and get ready to go to Eclipse's house!"
"It's eleven o'clock... Go away."
"Hiei!" Shadow said sharply. "Get up this instant before I'm forced to sexually molest you!"
One blood red eye opened tiredly and looked at Shadow before he curled into a tight ball and pulled his blankets up over his body. "Don't touch me."
"Get up, then!"
"No..."
"HIEI!"
"Get out of my room."
"It seems like all I've been doing lately has been persuading other people to get up! I had to pester Kurama the other day and he managed to send me away, but--"
"Then you came and friggin' pestered me!"
"Yeah, well today I came and pestered you first. He's still asleep."
"Well why couldn't you pester him first?"
"Because you need to wake up and eat the breakfast I made you worthless boys!"
Hiei rolled onto his back and looked up at her. "Why would you do that?"
"Because I'm a really, really nice person!"
"No you aren't. Why would you really do that?"
"Because... I wanted to... Want me to bring it up here and feed you breakfast in bed?!"
"That'd be nice," Hiei said tiredly. "But all I really wanna do is sleep."
"Well TOO BAD! You're going to Eclipse's and spending the night there with her and Kurama and me and Yusuke and Kuwabara and her little brother and his friends!"
"Aw, hell."
"I'm gonna go get your breakfast and bring it up here, you bum. And if I must, I'll shove it down your throat."
"No need..." Hiei muttered. Shadow stomped away, but in the doorway she paused and turned.
"I treat you too well. It's like we're married or something." She grinned evilly at the look on Hiei's face and waved as she walked out the door. "Ta!"
A few minutes later she returned with a tray. She held it out to Hiei.
"Breakfast."
"How exciting."
"Eat, get up, shower or do whatever, then we go to Eclipse's."
"You're excited, aren't you?"
"I've never been there, and she has a little brother with friends I can torment! Yes I'm excited!"
Hiei grinned. "Yes, well..."
"I'm gonna go wake up Kurama."
"You do that."
"I will."
"Go ahead."
"I'm going."
"Coulda fooled me..."
"Oh yeah? Shut up or I'll give that food to the fox!"
"Grr."
Shadow grinned and went downstairs to poke Kurama until he woke up. She found his door locked.
"HEY KURAMA, WAKE UP!"
Inside, the redhead jumped so bad he fell out of bed with a loud thud.
"You okay?!" Shadow called through the door.
"You scared the life out of me!"
"OH MY GOD, YOU'RE DEAD?!"
"No, Shadow..."
"KURAMA'S DEAD!"
"I'M NOT DEAD!"
"HE'S DEAD, HE'S DEAD AND I KILLED HIM! OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, IT'S ALL MY FAULT! WAHHHHH!"
Kurama tore open his door. "I AM NOT DEAD, SHADOW JAGANSHI, YOU FOOL! LOOK AT ME! AM I DEAD?"
"YES! I SCARED THE LIFE OUT OF YOU!"
"I AM NOT FREAKING DEAD YOU RETARDED GIRL!"
"Pity, then," Shadow said, scratching her head. "I made breakfast, by the way. Eat, shower, then we're off to Eclipse's. If you don't obey me, you will regret it." She walked away. Kurama stared after her, then slammed his door and went back to his bed. Shadow spun at the sound and glared at the door, fuming.
"NOBODY'S LISTENING TO ME, DAMMIT! YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO SLEEP IN LIKE THIS, YOU BUMS! THAT'S MY JOB!"
"It's SATURDAY!" Kurama shouted through the door.
"WELL YOU SLEPT IN ALL WEEK, TOO, MISSING SCHOOL IN THE PROCESS!"
"I... Oh, damn, yeah I did," Kurama said tiredly, opening the door back up. He shrugged. "Not like I don't know it all already."
"Come on, Kurama. I fixed you and Hiei breakfast! HOW OFTEN DO I DO SOMETHING FREAKING NICE FOR YOU PEOPLE?!" Shadow shouted. Kurama seemed to think for a second.
"Not very... Which makes me just more suspicious. Did you poison it?"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I'm TRYING to be NICE!"
"You're doing a good job of it. Congratulations," Kurama said. He hugged her and strolled down the hall. She blinked.
"What was that for?"
"For being nice, and for getting your driver's license. You're on your way to becoming something of a normal person," Kurama said.
"Aw, damn!"
"Damn?"
"I don't wanna be normal!"
"Don't worry. Once you put on your motorcycle leather and get on that bike, you'll be totally nuts again."
"WOOHOO!"
Kurama looked at her like she was nuts and headed down the hall. She spun around and trailed after him, staying about an arm's length away the whole time. At the top of the stairs, he paused and looked behind him.
"What's up with you?"
Shadow was silent, then cheerfully said, "Poke!"
Kurama gave her another 'you're nuts' look.
"Poke!"
"Sure, Shadow. Forget what I said about you having to be on the motorcycle to be nuts. You just lost it."
Shadow put her finger on his shoulder. "Poke." When he just stared, she pushed with her finger and then pulled her hand back and waved. "Hi!"
Kurama sighed and went downstairs, muttering something to himself. Shadow waited until he was on the first floor before intentionally falling down the stairs.
Hiei appeared at the top of the stairs as Shadow lay in a disfigured heap at the bottom and Kurama just stared at her.
"What just happened?" Hiei asked.
"She threw herself down the stairs, and now she's lying in a heap of pain at my feet," Kurama said casually. "I think she's okay though."
"I am OH-KAY!" Shadow said, waving her hand in the air. There was a sickening snap. "Ech. That couldn't have been any good. Well, I'd best be off to the infirmary to see if I can fix this..." She dragged, rolled, and pushed herself along the floor, muttering random things like "Wow this floor's a mess" and "ew... there's some kind of odd interdimensional portal under the couch..." Eventually she reached the stairs to the basement infirmary and fell down them too. Kurama and Hiei exchanged looks.
"She's not right," Kurama sighed.
Hiei shook his head. "I know... And I have to live with her."
Well, about an hour later, Shadow was decked out in her leather motorcycle outfit, had tossed her supplies in the backseat of Kurama's car, and was telling Hiei that riding on the back of her bike would be perfectly safe.
"Shadow. This is you we're talking about. Nothing about you is safe. Nothing. If I ride on the back of your motorcycle, I will die."
"No you won't!"
"Yes, Shadow. I will."
"No you won't! I didn't die!"
"He can ride with me, Shadow," Kurama said through his open car window.
"NO HE CAN'T!"
"Yes I can and I will," Hiei said, walking around to the passenger's side of Kurama's car.
"NOOOOO!" Shadow wailed as Hiei got in.
"Have fun, Shadow," Hiei said. She glared and got on her motorcycle, flying down the road at about 100 mph.
"She's gonna wreck."
"She doesn't even know where she's going."
"Not our problem."
"True."
"Let's go, then," Hiei sighed.
- . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . -
"I didn't go through all the pain of getting this thing implanted in my forehead so I could track down the location of sleepovers, dammit," Hiei snapped, glaring.
"It got us here, didn't it?" Kurama asked, grinning. Hiei was rather bitter and didn't answer, ignoring the fox's teasing.
Shadow came zooming up the road a second later and swerved into the driveway of Eclipse's house. She stopped just in time to keep from running into the garage doors.
"Wow. She got here without wrecking," Yusuke said. Kurama and Hiei, in their searching for Eclipse's house, had found him in the middle of doing the same thing and picked him up.
A shriek drew their attention to Shadow. Six little kids were gathered around the girl and her motorcycle. Some were staring at the motorcycle, some were staring at Shadow.
"Wow, can I have a ride?" one kid asked. Another one was commenting on Shadow's ass, a third was picking his nose. Shadow let out another screech and swung her helmet at the kids to make them back up.
"Shoo! Shoo! You can't have a ride and I don't want a bunch of children staring at my sexy leather-clad ass!"
"She's full of herself, don't you think?" Kurama said.
"But it's true," Yusuke said. Kurama sighed.
"The Youko in me agrees fully..."
"And you don't?" Yusuke asked.
"Of course I do. I'm just not one to readily admit it."
"You just did, baka fox," Hiei said. Kurama blinked.
"Yes, I suppose I did, didn't I?"
"ECLIPSE SHINOMORI!" Shadow screamed. "GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE!"
Eclipse came walking out of the two-story brick house, clothed in her customary blue, holding a paper plate with a slice of cheese on it.
"Kids! Who wants cake?"
"Cake?!" the kids all cried in unison, rushing over to Eclipse.
"That's not cake! That's cheese! You're mean!" one kid said.
"That's what I'm here for," Eclipse replied. "To be mean to you dumb little kids."
By then, the garage door had opened (remote control, in Eclipse's other hand) and Shadow had managed to put her motorcycle inside to keep it away from the small children and their greasy, fingerprinty hands.
"What did you do with your motorcycle?!" a kid asked, looking around.
"I ATE IT, foolish child! Bwahahaha!" Shadow laughed maniacally.
"She does have a nice ass," another one of the kids said. Hiei snorted.
"NO LAUGHING!" Shadow shouted, pointing at him.
"Sorry," he said, not very convincingly.
Shadow felt a hand on her butt suddenly, which she spun around and grabbed the wrist attached to. Glaring, she then grinned threateningly to show her fangs.
"You touch me again and I'll tear off your little hand, kiddo," she said. "There's only one person allowed to touch me in that manner."
"Who's that?" the kid asked. "Your boyfriend?"
"No. Hiei."
Yusuke 'Ooooooooh'-ed.
"You mean your boyfriend isn't allowed to touch you?" a kid asked.
"I haven't got a boyfriend!"
"Yes you do! Hiei's your boyfriend!" said the kid whose wrist Shadow was gripping tightly.
"WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU THAT?"
"My sister," the kid said, pointing at Eclipse.
"ECLIPSE SHINOMORI!"
"Yes?"
"You told your stupid little brother that Hiei's my boyfriend?"
"No. He's just retarded."
"Most little kids are," Yusuke said. "So where's the cake?"
"First, introductions," Eclipse said. She pointed to each little boy in turn. "That's my brother, Keiji. That's Jiro, Takeji, Hiro, Itou, Nori, they're twins by the way, and that kid there is Kotaro. Keiji is kinda like the perverted, psychotic ringleader. And children, that's Shadow, Shuichi, Hiei, and Yusuke. You, of course, will address them as 'sir' or 'ma'am' by their correct, corresponding genders. Mess up or make fun of them and I'll let Shadow feed you to Norman and the Weasel Minions of Doom. GOT IT?"
"Yes sir," Keiji said.
"Keiji, you're ret-tartit."
"Shut up!"
"Oh yeah, and if you touch Shadow or stare at her, you kids should be bludgeoned. You're like, ten. You shouldn't know about this stuff yet."
"What? Asses and boobies?" Keiji said.
Shadow's eye twitched and she inched closer to Hiei.
"I know how a baby's made! Wanna hear the story?" the kid continued. "Well, the mom and the dad fall in love. They get naked and--"
"KEIJI!" Eclipse screamed. "YOU'RE SICK!"
"But that's what happens! Now let me finished the story! The guy has--"
Shadow let out a screech and latched on to Hiei. "I'M SCARED!"
"Are you gonna make a baby tonight?" Keiji asked, looking at Shadow and Hiei. He, of course, was soon lying in a mangled heap on the ground.
"Let's go inside! I have cake and ice cream and candy and all sorts of stuff because my semi-rich parents gave me permission to spend enough money to feed me for a month just to feed you guys for two days. So, I set up a kind of buffet serve-yourself thing in the kitchen! Follow me," Eclipse said.
She seemed not to have noticed that Kuwabara wasn't there. Either that or she didn't care.
"Respect your elders, so we all go before these nitwit ten-year-olds, as long as somebody is between them and Shadow in line because if not she'll be groped again. And before you say anything, yes, I have to share my birthday food with those dumb little kids," Eclipse said. "Now! Get in line!"
Everyone got their ice cream and their cake and sat down in various sit-able places in the living room and kitchen. Of course, they'd all just got settled when somebody bumped somebody else, causing them to spill their ice cream and a ten-year-old pansy version of a fistfight broke out. Yusuke easily broke it up by taking the other kid's ice cream and dumping it on his head.
"I like ice cream," Shadow said stupidly, sitting in a corner still wearing her leather, eating ice cream like a little child.
Nearly an hour later came the fun part of the party.
"Who wants to play I Never?" Eclipse asked, standing up.
"Me!" all the ten-year-olds shouted instantly. Eclipse's friends all agreed too, eventually, and soda cans were passed out.
"Who wants to start?"
"ME!" Keiji screamed instantly. Eclipse let out an exasperated sigh.
"Fine."
"I never made a baby!"
"Well that's good to hear!" Yusuke said.
"It'd be ugly anyhow," Hiei muttered under his breath. Shadow snickered.
"Then again, most babies are."
"Kurama, this counts for Youko too," Eclipse said when nobody drank.
"I'm not actually aware that Youko ever got anyone pregnant..."
"That makes no sense," Shadow said. "If it weren't for Hiei, and me disliking him, Youko would have probably already... Well, you know."
"Just take a drink," Yusuke said.
"What if it isn't true?"
"DRINK!"
"YOU GOT SOMEONE PREGNANT?" Keiji screamed the second Kurama took a reluctant sip.
"Shut up, kid," Shadow snapped.
"Okay, I'll go," Yusuke said. "I never... hm... I never made out with someone in a tree."
Crickets chirped. Shadow seemed thoughtful, then leaned over to Hiei.
"Have we ever made out in a tree?"
"No."
"Okay, I'm good then."
"No takers?" Eclipse asked. With a sigh, Kurama took a drink.
"Oh?"
"Name a place and Youko's probably been there molesting or harassing or making out with someone..."
"Lovely past you have," Eclipse said.
"I wanna go!" Takeji said, waving his hand in the air.
"Fine."
"I never made out with anyone!"
Kurama, Hiei, Shadow, and Yusuke all took drinks. None of the little kids did. They made disgusted faces.
"Ew, you guys have made out? That's nasty!"
"Kissing is not nasty," Kurama said.
"Nope. That's just something stupid little kids think," Yusuke said.
"I'm not stupid!" Keiji snapped.
"Kay then. You're retarded," Hiei said.
"You're mean!"
"That was the point."
"Shut up, stupid!"
"Don't call me stupid, ya dumb little kid!"
"I'm not dumb, stupid!"
"DIDN'T I SAY NOT TO CALL ME STUPID?"
"Shut up, asshole!"
And Hiei just looked at this little kid with the 'you ever call me that again and I will tear your flesh from your body and feed on your innards while you're still alive' look. Keiji, being oblivious to all forms of threats, just giggled like a little girl, thinking he'd won.
"Ha ha, I called you an asshole."
"Hiei," Eclipse warned. "I may hate him, but my parents don't, and if they come home and find him stuck to the wall with a large knife through his chest and blood sprays all over the walls around him, they'll be... well... furious."
"Can I at least scare him?"
"He's too stupid to get scared. Couldn't you tell when your evil innard-eating... flesh-ripping... bloody murder look didn't wipe the dumb smile off his face?"
"Yeah, I started to assume he was kind of retarded..."
"Not kind of. Like, majorly. Like, he's stupider than Shadow and me put together, and multiply that by forty."
There was a frightened scream from across the room, and Hiei and Eclipse looked around to realize that while they conversed, Keiji had gotten distracted by Shadow.
"Heppy! Heppy!" Shadow yelped, looking fearfully at her friends as the little chest-high kids reached for her 'boobies' as they called them.
"Thousand," Hiei said. "Multiply you and Shadow's stupidities by forty thousand and you'll have the IQ of the dumbest of these kids."
"I'm gonna touch your boobies!" Takeji said.
"NO YOU AREN'T!"
"Can he touch your boobies?" Takeji asked, pointing at Keiji.
"NO! HEPPY! HEPPPYYYY!"
"Ohhhh, she's saying help me," Kurama said, finally translating her gibberish. "I do kinda pity her."
"STOP TOUCHING ME!" Shadow screamed, her arms crossed in an X across her chest. Still, the perverts kept poking her anywhere they found appealing.
Now, let's make a side note here, from the author.
I am basing this part on my EXPERIENCE, dammit! Eclipse's little ten-year-old brother and his friend find it amusing to touch me where little children shouldn't. And I can't hurt them because I'LL get in trouble for it! Her brother. I want to kill him. When he isn't like, sexually harassing me, he's either talking about disgusting, inappropriate things, like making babies, or he's being loud, annoying, poking me with his feet, laughing when I get mad, then... THEN... HE HAS THE NERVE TO ASK IF I LIKE HIM! EVEN AS A FRIEND! EVEN A LITTLE BIT!
I HATE HIM! HE WILL DIE!
'Sooner or later everyone dies.'
Yeah, here: I'll attack him sooner, he'll die shortly later from the brutal, bloody wounds. How's that?
Back to the story.
"Where'd you get those big things, anyway?" one kid asked, pointing. Shadow shrieked.
"HIEI, YOU BASTARD! GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME, DAMMIT!"
"They won't listen to me!" Hiei said. "They're to stupid to feel threatened, remember?"
"Leave it to me," Yusuke said. "I know how to get them away."
"Yes, I suppose another pervert would know what appeals to perverts better than anyone else here..."
"Well they already found something appealing," Yusuke pointed out. "But... HEY KIDS! LEAVE SHADOW ALONE AND I'LL GET YOU SOME PORN!"
"YUSUKE!!!" Eclipse screamed, appalled. But the kids swarmed over.
"Really?"
"Sure!" Yusuke pulled a magazine out of the inside of his jacket and went to the door, flinging it into the yard. The kids chased after it like starved dogs after a piece of meat. He quickly shut and locked the door, leaning against it to make sure the kids didn't swarm back instantly and knock it over. He was abruptly plowed backwards by Shadow hugging him.
"THANK YOU! Hey wait, you're a pervert too... Was that really a porno?" she asked suspiciously, backing away slightly.
"No, that was a car magazine, but there's girls in it... They have clothes on, though."
"Ah..." Shadow backed away a few more steps and suddenly spun around and put her finger directly between Hiei's eyes. "Thanks for the help, Hiei, you selfish--"
"Don't finish that sentence!" Hiei said. "I would have helped had I known any way other than violence."
"VIOLENCE IS THE ANSWER, THOUGH!"
"I know that, but these kids have parents who might miss them or something, right?"
"Yes. Probably. Unlike poor, pitiful me, who, from the age of like, eight or ten, had no parents. They staged my death and I ended up being taken in by some weirdo..."
"They staged your death, Shadow?" Eclipse repeated.
"What? Oh, yes, of course, look at me, I'm dead! DEAD, DAMMIT! No, I meant they staged their own deaths, burnt down the house, and left me to wander around Makai and end up in the large establishment of an egotistical dictator," Shadow said.
"...You know, we never really found out about your real past..." Hiei muttered.
"Here it is: I lived with my parents. My parents either died or staged their death to get rid of me, and... Or maybe... Here's another option, maybe my father killed my mother and burnt down the house, and forgot I existed so he left... Then there's always this odd option that Hiei's my father!" Shadow said accusingly, pointing at Hiei again. His eyes widened.
"I'm not your father, baka! I think I'd know! And besides, if I was, I wouldn't put up with your fondness of touching me."
"Touching you?!" Yusuke said, suddenly quite interested in the topic. "Touching you where?"
"You're totally retarded and beyond perverted," Shadow said. "Get your mind out of the gutter!"
"What? I was just asking a harmless question!"
"It's harmful! Harmful to my sanity! I don't touch Hiei anywhere I shouldn't! Unlike those damned kids. They were touching poor little me anywhere they felt inclined to touch..."
"That was kinda funny though," Yusuke said. "Seeing you writhe and scream..."
Shadow's eye twitched. "Rephrase that, dammit."
Yusuke looked confused, then it dawned on him. "YOU SAY I HAVE A SICK MIND?"
"YOU'RE THE ONE THAT LOOKS AT PORN!"
"YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TOUCHES HIEI!"
"YOU'RE SICK, YUSUKE URAMESHI!"
"YOU'RE JUST AS BAD, SHADOW JAGANSHI!"
"HELL NO I AIN'T! I DON'T LOOK AT PORN, I DON'T WATCH PORN, I DON'T GROPE MY SIGNIFICANT OTHER, I DON'T INSTANTLY JUMP TO THE MOST DISGUSTING CONCLUSION! YOU'RE A PERVERT!"
"HOW CAN I BELIEVE THAT? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THAT YOU DON'T LIE AROUND NAKED IN BED WITH HIEI ALL THE TIME!?"
"IF YOU DON'T STOP BEING THE MOST DISGUSTING PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE, I WILL KILL YOU!!! STOP IMPLYING UNTRUTHS ABOUT ME AND HIEI! WE'RE NO MORE THAN FRIENDS!!!"
"Friends with benefits..." Yusuke muttered under his breath.
"I WILL KILL YOU, YUSUKE URAMESHI!"
A fun game of 'chase the Yusuke' commenced, a knife-toting Shadow following him through any and every part of the house, down the dead-end street, through the yard, onto the roof, out windows, in windows, over small children, past old people with walkers on the street, under bridges, over bridges, and through sewers, until finally, finally coming to a stop, panting and gasping and sweating, doubled over with their hands on their knees, back in front of Eclipse's house.
"I... will... kill you... Yu... skay..." Shadow panted. Then she promptly fell over, asleep before she hit the ground. She snorted in her sleep, snored loudly, then muttered something about French vanilla cheese sandwiches...
"Well... That was... entertaining," Kurama muttered, looking at the two half demons snoring peacefully next to each other, Shadow clutching her butcher knife like a teddy bear.
"Entertaining barely covers it," Eclipse said, focusing her camcorder on the sleeping half-breeds and zooming in.
"You taped all that?!" Hiei said.
"Yep."
"How'd you do that? They went all over Tokyo!" Kurama asked, amazed.
"They went all over JAPAN!"
"DEVIL WORSHIPPING!" Eclipse said, laughing maniacally.
"I'm not even going to ask how devils tie in to camcorders and Shadow chasing Yusuke..." Kurama muttered. "Not even going to ask... It's unsafe."
"Yes, quite," Hiei agreed. There was a pause before the little fire demon suddenly announced he wanted some more ice cream and went inside. Kurama and Eclipse agreed and followed him. All the small children had been trampled into the soil by the insane rampage and were quite unconscious, therefore rather unable to follow.
Shadow and Yusuke snored away peacefully, oblivious to anything but their dreams of vanilla-flavored bagels with three-flavor sherbet on the side and exotic dancers... Respectively. That is to say, Shadow was dreaming about bagels and sherbet, not exotic dancers, and Yusuke was dreaming of exotic dancers, not sherbet and bagels...
- . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . -
Lovely, no? I forget everything in this chapter, proof read it a few weeks ago, any errors are, well... There for good.
Well, I felt like making a recommendation here... I'm currently reading a Harry Potter/ Yu yu Hakusho crossover... I'm aware I said I hated those, but it's really well-written, if just a bit confusing, it's called The Best Defense and it's by JoIsBishMyoga and... It's currently 38 chapters long, I dunno if it's complete or not... I'm on chapter eight. They aren't short, either. So... Yeah. Long story.
Guess what? Hiei hasn't been on YYH for the past what, month or two? Well November 6th, two weeks from now, he'll be back! YAY!