Since Hermione had been through all that in her head, she had become slightly addicted to dreamless sleep. She wasn't allowed out of the hospital wing, so she had absolutely no way of taking her mind off of it.
Sleeping for 4 days, only waking up once the dreamless sleep started to ware off, she started to feel much better physically. Her body was now able to heal, now that she was awake, and not unconscious, and her body was reacting to the potions Madam Pomfrey was giving her daily. The after effects of the Cruciatus curse had finally worn off, and her broken ribs had been fully healed. Madam Pomfrey had not once mentioned before this incident that bruises were un-healable. Therefore, Hermione still bore the bruises on her face and all over her body, which meant she was still in some pain.
Hermione hadn't let Pomfrey get anywhere near her arms. She wasn't ready to show her physical scars because of the emotional overload of her mental ones. She still bore a few scratches that were self-inflicted, and many scars from previous years.
She thought maybe Pomfrey suspected something, but would never let herself dwell on it. She was just grateful she had weeks until school started.
Well… that's what she thought.
She was shocked when she got her OWL results back. Surprisingly, she had completely forgotten about them.
She picked up the letter and read the front. "Hermione Granger". No address, but there was a date. "25th August 1996". Her heart did a double somersault, and her stomach fell way too far into her body.
25th? Of August? How long was I out for? This can't be right?!? That means that school starts back up in 6 days!!!! Oh my gosh! Feeling the sudden pressure and nervousness, Hermione knew she had to get out of this hospital wing. She needed air!
Completely forgetting her OWL results, she looked over at madam Pomphrey, who just happened to be faced in her direction, though her face was to the side whilst she was looking over something on a table. She got up and noted how the nurse looked up. Making eye contact, she walked out of the infirmary.
This was so that Pomfrey knew where she was, and Hermione could get some space. Surprisingly, the nurse didn't follow or request for her to come back…
She walked out of the wing and down the lonely halls and corridors of Hogwarts. Making her way outside she felt the warm breeze on her legs. This was when she realised she was wearing a hospital dress. Ugh! She thought, feeling slightly uncomfortable, as she had nothing on underneath and was wearing, not shoes but, slippers.
Walking out onto the lawn, she noted how there was no smoke coming from inside Hagrid's hut, or that there were any lights on. It was getting dark, and had she expected the aforementioned. Shrugging this off, she walked over to the lake.
Sitting down, she stared numbly at the sun setting. No thoughts blocked her mind, or made her dizzy. No pain hit her heart and made her eyes water. All she felt was numb, numb from said pain.
She wasn't sure how long she had been out there, but it was getting extremely dark and she knew people would be worried about her. Not caring about the latter so much, she walked back to the castle, deciding to go to the Gryffindor common room, hoping it had the same password as last year.
"Password?" muttered the fat lady, looking agitatedly down at the wandering student, so late at night.
"Devil's Snare?" and to her shock, the portrait hole swung open.
Smiling to herself, she walked inside and up to her room, in which she found a rather loved blanket all the girls' beds had on them for winter. Even though it wasn't winter… Picking one up, she took it down stairs and settled into her favourite chair, right by the fire.
Here, she felt safe and content. For some reason, she had always had a problem with the hospital wing; probably for what it signified. But since she had been there, she had grown a pure hatred towards it.
All to quickly, the portrait hole opened, emitting the last person she wanted to see: Dumbledore. It was as if he knew where every single student was in Hogwarts, especially when they were out of bounds.
"Hello, Miss Granger. Why are you not in the hospital wing?"
"Good evening Professor." She replied, looking into the fire that was lit before she had arrived.
He sighed. "Must I repeat myself?"
"No, I didn't feel much like staying there any longer. It was starting to become uncomfortable, and when I found out the date of today, I just had to get out of there" she looked up and met his eyes. "I had no idea I was unconscious so long" her eyes starting to shine.
"I'm afraid you were unconscious for 3 weeks, Miss Granger." She nodded.
"Have you had a look at your OWL results, I hear they were quite good!" She remembered this, but really did not want to go back. As if sensing this, he waved his hand and they appeared on the table in front of her.
"Thank you, sir." She just wished she had some dreamless sleep. She really didn't want to see everything replayed in her dreams after so long without them. Again, as if knowing what she was thinking, he waved his hand and a bottle of dreamless sleep potion appeared on the table.
She smiled, weakly. "Thank you, professor"
"I'll be leaving you now, Miss Granger. Get some rest" and with that he walked out the common room, leaving Hermione to her own devices.
Or so she hoped.
As soon as Dumbledore had left, she tried to push her OWL results from her head. She didn't want to think about failing again. If she had failed, she would be a failure yet again, but if she had passed… she had passed on the Witch Hermione Granger's knowledge that clouded her own… she didn't want to be that person anymore, she wanted to find out who she really was. Find out who she was, without the façade, without the lies, and without her family. Now she could think for herself, and had no-one to haunt her. Now that she had nothing to prove to anyone. Yes, she loved reading, but she wasn't the good girl next door, and certainly wasn't one to care about exams. She had done it so her parents would be proud, and if she ever got into trouble, her father would certainly kill her.
How ironic…
But… maybe she did care about exams? Maybe she did want to be clever? Maybe she did care more about her appearance than she thought? She did care about what people thought of her… that's why she had hidden behind all the lies. Wasn't it?
She groaned as these thoughts roamed her mind. In truth, she was curious about her grades. Thoughts of her father were confusing her. She didn't know who she really was; she didn't care about her exams as much as the old Hermione, but she did care. These grades would determine her future.
Thinking quickly, so she wouldn't back down, she leant over and, ignoring the slight pain, picked up her results.
Dear Miss Granger,
Due to unfortunate events, this letter was delayed. Your examination grades were as follows:
Potions: O
Charms: O
Herbology: OAstronomy: E
Arithmancy: OTransfiguration: O
History of Magic: O
Care of Magical Creatures: O
Defence Against the Dark Arts: O
I will be coming to see you personally, so we can talk over your NEWT level classes and sort out the books that will be required.
Kind Regards,
Professor Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
All she could do was smile. Those were the results she wanted. She hadn't expected anything more in Astronomy, after the distraction from the incident with Hagrid and Umbridge.
What she did want to know was, what subject's did she want to do? D.a.t.D.A was a must, and she definitely wanted to do the base subjects like Potions, Transfiguration, Charms and Herbology. But did she really need a big workload? After what had happened?
She definitely didn't need the stress she had in 3rd year. And even in 4th and 5th, she was under a lot of pressure because of exams… and everything.
Groan… she still couldn't admit to herself what had happened. It was almost as if admitting to herself made it final, made it real, and when she finally admitted it to herself, she could admit it to others. But she couldn't do that. Because then it would be real, it would be true. She couldn't live behind the lies and her perfect façade if she admitted to herself that she was abused, and had lied to her friends her whole life. She couldn't admit to herself that she had been raped, told the truth, watched her parents die, got kidnapped by her arch nemesis who she was actually starting to trust, get asked to join Voldemort then get even more tortured (for all she knew) for turning him down, all in the space of less than 24 hours.
How was she supposed to be able to cope with that? Reality was setting in and she couldn't do anything about it now. She had physical pain, and literal memories. She felt constantly sick and she couldn't stop the fact that she was finally seeing the truth.
And it hurt. It hurt like hell and she had to stop it.
The pain was still raw when she woke up. She felt exactly the same as she did when she had taken the Dreamless Sleep potion, except, maybe, she felt a bit more rested. But she didn't need rest. She needed these emotions gone… she wasn't sure how much longer she could hold them without cracking.
Looking around she saw it was night. Maybe… I slept for days like I did before… and there's an entire school of students in the great hall talking about me. Ok.. that wasn't even funny. Her little bit of humour didn't cheer her up… in fact she nearly had a heart attack when she heard people outside… and there was more than one… and they sounded very little like teachers. Ok, it was a joke you know, what the hell have you got against me? She thought, looking up to the sky… someone… or a few someones… more cleverly known as "the fates" really had something against her!
Fear spread throughout her body and she had no idea what to expect. She heard them mutter the password, which had changed. Why would they change the password? There must be students here if they have to password protect the common room! She sat, staring apprehensively at the portrait hole. Hysteria slowly building up inside of her. She heard footsteps and then she saw robes… hugging closer to the sofa with her blanket tight around her she watched as…
Wait... Ron and Harry?
They stared at her in shock… Oh my… which she returned. She then watched as anger spread across their faces… who are they angry at? Me? That would be understandable… I have been lying to them for 5 years…she looked at them worryingly. Then... they smiled… stop confusing me!… but she did not smile back.
"What are you doing here?" she said, almost yelling?
"We wanted to know if you are alright, Hermione. How are you doing?" asked Ron.
"I'm fine" she replied as she turned her head to look at the fire. They obviously didn't believe her, as they felt the annoying need to come closer and ask even more annoying questions.
"Did you get your OWL results back?" said Ron… she nodded… "What did you get?" She glared at him… he sounded far too perky to be anywhere near her right now. Harry was being very quiet… she moved her glare to Harry and their eyes locked. He knew she was hiding all her feelings away, as that was exactly what he did. But... he was also very easy to crack last year... and Hermione assumed he thought she was too right now.
"Look, Hermione. We are sorry about your parents' death…"
She snorted… "Don't be." She cut him off.
This clearly wasn't going as well as they had planned, because Harry cut in.
"Hermione, we know what you are going through. Honestly we do…"
"Really? Ok… if you know so much, what am I going through Harry?" she cut in.
They looked at each other; Hermione gave them a knowing glare, and looked back to the fire. It was much more interesting than it was when she had been thinking before. Now… it seemed intriguing… like it couldn't harm her like people could, it couldn't break it's trust... and it was somewhat nice to look at.
"You're right, we don't know. Maybe you should explain so we do understand." Spoke Ron, looking highly apprehensive.
Hermione liked this fire less and less… why was it making her cry? She could feel her eyes watering up, and she didn't like it. Apparently, Harry and Ron noticed this as they took a few steps towards her. Soon, Ron was sat in front of her, and Harry next to her. Unfortunately, she was not happy about this. She was scared. Ron took her hand and she immediately pulled away.
"Hermione…?"
She looked at them both as if seeing them for the first time, and, grabbing her blanket, she jumped up and ran from the common room.
This proved to be a bad idea after a few corridors, and she decided to start walking. There was nowhere she could go but back to the hospital wing. At least Poppy could keep Ron and Harry away from her.
So that's what she did, she took what could be a nice warm nightime stroll towards the Hospital Wing.
This trip proved to be anything but nice. She was in pain, again, from the running, she was crying, and she was scared.
She walked to the door to the hospital wing and knocked. Madam Pomfrey came over quickly and let her in. She could see Hermione was crying, so told her to go over to the bed quickly. What Hermione saw was enough to send her over the edge. She was far to sick of being shocked.
Lying in the bed nearest the window was the person she least expected to see.
Draco Malfoy.
Ooo… don't forget to review :D
Foolish Fish, loli-chick336, Deadly-Secret, Natbag, punk rocker, evanescence55, dragonstargirl, natyslacks, Haleybear0791, LIV, marra, lady-sanctuary, jpProngs, Dark Heart, Soccergirl2044, Girl that no one notices, SaddestAngel666, Tropic, Erica G, HPFCarly, BiTcH, Honey Bee 80, lump-on-a-log, gaiamoore13, arg, kris, hi :) – THANKYOU!!!!!! Soooooo much, it means a lot to me. I read everyone of your reviews and they are always guaranteed to cheer me up!!! Thankyou!!!!!!!