(10-26-04) Dunno why the hell I chose today of all days to post another chapter. I feel like shiiiiit. I didn't go to school, thus missing two tests and Japanese class... So due to my unhealthy, tired, overall bleh state of being, I'm not responding to your reviews... I don't have time or proper mental function right now, so it wouldn't be very productive or amusing anyway...
Oh yes, to all who warned me of shounen ai in "The Best Defense," I'm on chapter 26 and haven't found anything highly objectionable... I'm fine with mild stuff, as long as it's not up and saying they're gay... Which it hasn't yet, so we're safe.
Read. Now. Or I'll throttle you. Thanks for your reviews on the last chapter and all before that, only four chapters up and I had 104 reviews... ::manages to dance slightly, then falls over abruptly and sleeps for the next six hours in the middle of the room::
CHAPTER FIVE
Peaches
"Shadow... wake up."
Silence. Stillness. Nothing.
"Wake up, dammit, before I have these kids touch your 'boobies.'"
Twitch and unconscious shift to cover said body parts.
"Bagels, Shadow. Think of the bagels. If you don't wake up, the bagels will be forced to have another hungry person eat them."
"OH MY GOD NO!" Shadow jumped up, looking horrified. "GIVE ME MY BAGELS, DAMMIT! WHERE ARE THE DAMNED BAGELS?! I don't even like bagels! What the hell!"
"It woke you up," Hiei said, shrugging. "C'mon, you'll miss out on the campfire."
"FIRE? Yay!" Shadow moved a step, then looked down at Yusuke. "What happened to him? Why am I holding a knife? Why was I asleep, anyway? Aren't I at Eclipse's house?"
Hiei sighed. "Forget it." He walked towards the back of the house.
"WAITY WAIT FER MAY!"
"Fur may? What's that?"
"I don't... huh? What are you talking about?"
"Shadow, you're retarded."
They walked around the back of the house and there was a simultaneous uproar at the sight of Shadow.
"BOOBIES!"
Shadow screamed at the top of her lungs and hid behind Hiei.
"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SHADOW, STOP SHOUTING!"
Shadow shut her mouth, and they were promptly swamped by little kids.
"CALL 'EM OFF!" Hiei shouted at Eclipse.
"I can't do anything! Run!"
Shadow did. She took off, screaming and waving her arms as she tore down the street. Hiei followed, more to keep from being trampled or bumped as the little kids went after Shadow than out of fear. He easily passed Shadow and she strained to keep herself within normal human speed ranges while outrunning the pansy boys, but Hiei still stayed ahead of her.
"YOU'RE LEAVING ME BEHIND!" she screamed. "AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE BOOBIES!"
Hiei snorted back laughter. Shadow caught up with him and spun, putting herself back-to-back with him. She used the butcher knife she'd mysteriously found in her hand to keep the children at bay.
"Get back! Go harass Eclipse! She secretly has a crush on that kid!" Shadow accused, pointing at the ugliest kid in the group with her knife. He looked frightened, like she'd fling it at him any minute.
"Scared? Scared? Huh, huh? Boo!" she taunted, feigning attacks. The kid eeped and back away a step. "I AM THE ALMIGHTY GODDESS OF EVERYTHING! GET AWAY FROM ME OR I WILL SMITE THEE!"
"What does 'smite' mean?" Keiji asked.
"Kill."
"Oh! You wouldn't kill me, I'm too--"
"YOU WANNA BET ON THAT, LITTLE KID? I'LL KILL YOU BEFORE YOU CAN BLINK! GO ON! BLINK! BLINK! YOU'LL BE DEAD BEFORE YOUR EYES OPEN!"
Keiji shook his head fearfully.
"How old are you?" Jiro asked randomly.
"Eighteen! I live all alone with my boyfriend!" Shadow said.
"Then you wouldn't really be alone," Hiei muttered over her shoulder.
"Shut up, perfectionist, or I'll knock off your arm!"
"Which one? I need my right arm, it's rather important."
"Than that's the one you'll lose!"
"Okay, sorry, sorry, I won't be a perfectionist anymore!" Hiei said.
"Yeah, that's right you won't!"
It was only five seconds later when the kids scattered, screaming "CAR!!!" and a blindingly bright light hit Shadow's eyes did she realize that she and Hiei were standing in the middle of the road.
"HIT ME!" Shadow screamed.
However, the car slammed on its breaks and barely bumped Shadow's leg when it finally halted completely.
"Bastard," she muttered, squinting to try to see into the car.
"Shadow! You're retarded!" Hiei snapped, standing on the sidewalk. "I know you've been hit by a car before, but you can only survive it so many times!"
"I didn't get hit this time!"
"YOU WERE TRYING!"
The car blew its horn and Shadow screamed. "DON'T DO THAT, YOU!" She kicked the car tire and walked around to the driver's side, opening the door and bending down to see Shizuru sitting in the seat.
"Have you seen my brother?"
Shadow fell over backwards. "And here I thought it was just some weirdo law-abiding citizen..." she said as she got to her feet. "No, I haven't seen him."
"He was supposed to be here, wasn't he?"
"I dunno. Yeah, I suppose he was invited, but that doesn't mean he was coming... He never said."
"He told me he was. He left around twelve thirty, but I just now realized he forgot his precious teddy bear... You mean he didn't get here?"
"Nope."
Hiei wandered over and stood next to Shadow. "Oh. Hey Shizuru."
"Hey Hiei. You didn't see my brother, did you?"
"No. Was he coming?"
"Dammit. He must still be wandering around Tokyo..." Shizuru pulled the car door shut, turned her car around, and went back down the dead-end street.
"Huh. Baka boy must've gotten lost, do you think?" Hiei said.
"YOU ALMOST GOT HIT!" one of the little kids screamed, tearing across the road to Shadow. "You're retarded! You could have died!"
"GET AWAY, MINIATURE PORTION OF HELL!" Shadow screamed, horrified, making a cross with her fingers to ward off the evil. It didn't work. So she made a wide circle around the kid and tore back towards Eclipse's house and managed to lunge into the shadows behind Kurama before the kids caught up.
"Kurama, help me!" Shadow begged, hiding behind him.
"What? Why?"
"Because you're my friend and these little kids frighten me!"
"They're only six years younger than you..."
"THEY'RE PERVERT TOUCHY-FEELY PEOPLE AND THEY'RE SIX YEARS YOUNGER THAN ME AND I HATE THEM ALL BUT THEY KEEP TOUCHING ME!"
"Maybe if you didn't wear such show-offy clothes then you wouldn't have drawn their attention," Eclipse said.
"Shut up, missy, or I'll shove your mouth full of burning wood!"
"...Ow."
"Yes, 'ow' puts it mildly."
"So what was that those kids were screaming about a car?" Kurama asked, deciding a subject change would be good right about now.
"Shizuru nearly flattened me in search of her brother."
"What? You mean she doesn't know where Kuwabara is and neither do we?" Kurama said. "Because that's no good."
"He's probably lying dead in a ditch on the side of the road someplace," Hiei said, walking into the edge of the ring of firelight so the under lighting from the flames made him look even more evil than normal.
"And where's Yusuke?" Kurama asked, looking at Shadow.
"Sleeping. I don't know why."
"You don't know why?" the fox repeated dryly, not really a question.
"No. I don't. Should I?"
Kurama just sighed. "I suppose it's not to be expected of you."
"Yay! So, now I'm going to make s'mores!" Shadow sat down near the fire, impaled a marshmallow on a stick, and stuck it in the fire. "Kurama, be a nice friend and get the chocolate and graham crackers ready while I do this."
"Why should I?"
"BECAUSE YOU'RE A NICE FRIEND, DAMMIT!"
"... Who told you that?"
"Just do it, fox, before I pull off your ears!"
Kurama sighed, but he obeyed. Hiei snickered and received a glare from his friend, only causing him to snicker more, but he tried to cover it up with a cough.
Shadow rocked back and forth humming. "Hey! I just had a grand idea!"
"No you didn't," Hiei said.
"Shut up! I didn't even say what my idea was!"
"Well knowing you it couldn't have been even half decent, let alone grand."
"Who likes ghost stories?!" Shadow asked cheerfully, choosing to ignore Hiei.
"You can't tell ghost stories," Jiro said. "I'll get scared and my mommy will be mad at you."
"Your mommy is a pansy, kid, just like you," Shadow said. "Who won't get scared by ghost stories? I wanna tell ghost stories!"
"I wanna play I Never!" Takeji said.
"NOBODY CARES WHAT YOU WANT, KID!"
It took a while for them to find that kid's body, which had been blown away from the sheer force of Shadow's voice. Not uncommon, as she's quite loud and often sends people flying, as you should know.
"Well now what?" Kurama asked.
"GHOST STORIES!"
"Are we gonna have to vote?" Eclipse asked. "Because that's lame."
"No, we get to tell ghost stories," Shadow said, eating a s'more. "We tell ghost stories because I said so and I'm always right."
"...Okay."
"But aren't ghost stories kind of pointless?" Kurama asked. "I mean, we know what happens to spirits and souls..."
"SO? We can scare the little kids," Shadow said quietly to him.
"Oh... You're evil."
"I know!"
Shadow stood up. "I SHALL TELL THE TALE OF... PIRATE GEORGE!"
"Pirate George..." Hiei said, nodding. "Is this another one of your 'YOU CAN'T HAVE HEARD THIS ONE BEFORE, I'M MAKING IT UP AS I GO!!!' stories?"
"No! This one's true!"
"I've never met a pirate named George."
"I wouldn't think you had! They all died hundreds of years ago! I'm going to tell the story of the LAST pirate named George! It's a tragic tale! A gory tale! A funny tale! The tale of George! It begins several hundred years ago with the birth of a baby boy in Tokyo. His mother fell ill and DIED when he was two years old! He was shipped off to live in Kyoto with his abusive aunts, Aunt Ichi and Aunt Ni! Now, his aunts were overweight, bossy, smelly, useless people and made him eat nothing but peaches until he got diarrhea and pooped up the closet they let him live in! I don't know if peaches give you diarrhea, but dammit, they did then. SO when Aunt Ni found this mess he'd made, she sent him off to live in the Osaka zoo, but nobody there loved him but the buffalos. Shortly after he met the buffalos, his rib cage met the buffalo's head and he was shipped off to the hospital. There, lying in the emergency room, he had a near death experience, in which Satan told him that he was to collect shiny things at all costs for the rest of his life! After being released from the hospital on a purely-peaches diet, George, as he called himself for lack of a birth name, found an ad taped to a telephone pole! It said, 'Pirate Captain wanted! Must be ruthless and obsessed with shiny things, and peaches don't grow in the ocean!' So George had a major attitude change that day. He damned the hospital and went directly to the nearest poorhouse and ate SOUP CRACKERS unstead of PEACHES! Oh, doom! Then he went to the nearest telephone booth and had a wandering samurai deliver a message to the pirate ship he'd seen the ad for, and after the man returned, George bludgeoned him to death with his own sword sheath, stole the shiny sword, and ran down the street screaming and waving the blade over his head like a raving lunatic, all the way to the Osaka bay, where he went up onto the ship, told them he was in command, and proceeded to point them in the direction of the nearest shiny thing. That shiny thing happened to be a coin lying on the dock sparkling in the sunlight. He sent a small little guy out of the boat to get it, told him to throw it back, then George left the small little guy on the dock, cussing and screaming and waving his fist at him.
"You may be wondering why this story isn't scary yet. Let me tell you, it's about to change. Now George, he quickly became the best pirate on the Sea of Japan, and he stole so much that his boat sank and he was the only one on the ship to drown and die, because though he went down with the ship like a good captain, he just HAD to hang on to heavy, un-floaty shiny things and he sank and drowned ten minutes before the rest of his crew was rescued by a passing rescue boat driven by a blue-eyed midget, but that's not the point. See, George, he went and integrated his soul into the mechanics of the solar-powered boat and, unhappy by his crew's reluctance to carry some shiny stuff, flipped the boat and drowned them all. He drifted there for a while until another boat came along and he went and hid in that one. Finding rats, he possessed them and used them to kill every person on the boat. They tore out the peoples' throats with their teeth. Blood spurted everywhere.
"Then, one day, George realized that he'd killed more people than he'd intended to. Everybody who'd ever gone on a boat since his death was lying on their boat bleeding all over the deck. He vanished for a few years but occasionally pops up here and there and particularly likes to prey on the small children who have the guts to sail. Never, ever set foot off dry land. You'll die. Instantly. And messily. And slowly and painfully. MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! GEORGE SHALL KILL YOU!"
Hiei sighed. "Somehow a boat-haunting ghost named George fails to strike fear in my heart..."
"I WANT MY MOMMY!" Keiji and the little kids were wailing. Shadow continued laughing maniacally for the next five minutes while Kurama and Eclipse sat peacefully munching s'mores and Hiei sighed and occasionally caused the fire to shoot ten feet in the air and fry unsuspecting moths. Their charred corpses fell to the ground, not really much more than ash.
Shadow was oblivious, still laughing maniacally, the under lighting making her look evil and insane all at the same time. Getting tired of hearing her, Hiei flung a marshmallow at her and it bounced off her head.
"YOU THREW SOMETHING AT ME!" she screamed, pointing and glaring so instantaneously afterwards that Hiei fell over backwards off the log he'd been sitting on.
"Jeez, Shadow, flip out on him," Kurama muttered.
"I WILL! SHUT THE HELL UP!"
"... Mood swings?"
"NO, DAMMIT!"
"Mood swings."
"BLAH!" Shadow lunged at Kurama and tackled him, first attempting to strangle him, then ending up hugging him until he couldn't breathe (another form of strangling. Slightly more affectionate, yet still painful).
"Can't... breathe..." the fox gasped.
"What?" Shadow said cluelessly. "Ohhh! I'm sorry!" She let go and he crumpled to the ground, eyes wide and chest heaving.
"Avoid killing Kurama," Hiei said. "He's actually a pretty nice person."
"HUGS FOR EVERYONE!" Shadow sang. She danced over to Hiei and hugged him.
"Do I get a hug?" Keiji asked.
"HELL NO!" Shadow snapped, spinning around and dropping Hiei to glare at the kid. "The day I hug you willingly is the day... uh... Hiei kills me!"
"I don't think that'll be soon, either, Keiji, cuz I think she just hugged Hiei to death," Eclipse said, poking the fire demon with her shoe.
"Uhhnnnn..." Hiei groaned, rolling onto his back, swirly-eyed.
"NO! HIEI! YOU MUST LIVE!" Shadow wailed, kneeling over him and putting her mouth on his to perform CPR.
"I don't think he's really dead..." Kurama said. "I think she was being sarcastic..."
However, Shadow ignored Kurama. She pulled Hiei into a sitting position.
"LIVE!" she said. Then she kissed him.
Eclipse sighed. "Yup, that'll bring him back for sure..."
"It will," Kurama said. The fire demons had their arms around each other and were kissing, completely lost and oblivious to anything going on outside their own little world.
Eclipse watched a moment longer before sighing with annoyance. "HEY! STOPPIT!" She bombarded them with marshmallows until they obeyed.
"Party pooper," Shadow muttered, keeping her arms around Hiei.
"It's my party, people!" Eclipse said. "Dur! And if I don't want a couple lovesick fire demons sucking face, I--"
"We're not lovesick and we weren't... 'sucking face' as you call it," Hiei said.
"You were KISSING, weren't you?"
"Yes, but--"
"Well that's 'sucking face.' I heard the term in school and thought it was interesting."
"It sounds really disgusting," Hiei muttered. "And I don't like it used in relation to me..."
"Then don't kiss Shadow and I won't need to. Why were you smooching, anyhow? You didn't exactly have a reason..."
"I dunno. She initiated it, I was just going along with her."
"Sure. That's why you're still practically sitting on her lap and your hand is on her leg?"
"Yup."
"What'd I miss?!" Yusuke came running up to them. "Were you two making out? You were! And I missed it?! Damn!"
"Don't worry, I'm sure it'll happen again before you leave tomorrow," Eclipse said bitterly.
"Jealous?" Shadow asked.
"Pssh! No!"
"Yeah right. How could you not be jealous? I'm over here with this highly attractive, intelligent, strong guy, and you're all by yourself over there with your marshmallows."
"And Kurama's all by himself, too," Hiei said. "But he doesn't care because he can get anyone he wants."
"Yes, because he's Mr. Perfect," Shadow sighed.
"Well then what am I?!" Hiei asked, sounding hurt.
"You're perfect, in my mind, but if you asked anyone else, you have flaws. Like, for example, you're short, and you like to kill people, and you're pyromaniacal."
"Pssh. So--"
"STOP!" Eclipse shouted. "You're being all... boyfriend/girlfriendy and it's scary... But these kids seem disgusted by it so continue if you must."
"Really?!" Shadow said excitedly.
"Yes! Kiss again!" Yusuke cheered. "I wanna see it!"
"Ha! Screw you, Yusuke," Shadow said.
"You'd like to," Yusuke joked. Shadow snorted.
"No, actually not. Not with Hiei around."
"Do you really want to fuck Hiei?" Keiji asked abruptly.
"KIDS YOUR AGE SHOULDN'T USE SUCH LANGUAGE!" Shadow screamed, pointing threateningly at the kid. "AND THE ANSWER IS N.Y.F.B.!!! KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS!"
All the kids looked horrified. "So you do!"
"I never said that," Shadow said quickly.
"Don't you think it's about time you kids went to bed?" Kurama interrupted.
"It's only ten o'clock!"
"GO TO BED, DAMMIT!" Shadow ordered. "The grown-ups need to converse!"
"What does 'converse' mean?"
"Talk. Now go away so we can talk."
"But I thought you were telling ghost stories."
"WELL IF YOU DON'T LEAVE, I'LL TURN Y'ALL INTO GHOSTS!" Shadow screamed.
"But he said ghosts aren't real," Kotaro said, pointing at Kurama.
"No I didn't," Kurama denied. "I said we know what happens to souls, I never said anything about ghosts. But if you don't believe in ghosts, Shadow will eat your souls and feed your bodies to the weasels."
"Yeah! What he said!" Shadow agreed, waving a hand in Kurama's direction.
"I bet you aren't gonna talk, you're gonna kiss more," Itou said.
"BETTING IS ILLEGAL!"
"Stop shouting, Shadow! The neighbors at the end of the street can probably hear you! I'll get yelled at for waking people up!" Eclipse snapped. Shadow crossed her arms.
"Is that my problem? What sane individual sleeps at ten o'clock?"
"Well, kids, for one," Eclipse said. "Especially ten-year-old boys who have friends over."
"... I'm scared of the dark," Nori said. His twin brother Itou hit him.
"You're a baby!"
"Let's see you walk to the house alone!"
"Fine!" Itou stood up, walked to the edge of the firelight, paused, looking around paranoidly before he hurried back and grabbed Kurama's arm.
"Come with me!!!"
"Me? Why?!"
"Because you're cool."
"Oh, that's all the reason in the world I need to escort a bunch of ten-year-olds thirty feet to the door..."
"Escort the damn kids already!" Shadow snapped teasingly.
"Shut up, Shadow."
Kurama did end up escorting the children to the house, and he also ended up escorting them up to Keiji's bedroom and helping them lay out their sleeping bags. Then, he had to read them a story and find enough night-lights to light the room, the hallway, the bathroom, and Keiji's closet... Which ended up having a chair propped against it to keep the monsters inside. All the while he was doing this, Kurama was thinking how they needn't fear what's inside the closet but rather what is outside sitting around the campfire. Yeah, those ones. The ones that burn stuff.
"Can I go now?" he asked when the kids had finally settled in around eleven o'clock.
"Yeah. Make sure you close the door."
"Uh-huh." He stepped out into the hall backwards, pulling the door shut with a snap, then turned and found Hiei standing right in front of him. He jumped and cursed.
"Jesus, Hiei!"
"What? The little kids' fears rubbing off on you?"
"What, you think I'm scared of the dark? Ha. You know as well as I do that you stood there intending to startle me."
Hiei smirked. "And it worked, too."
"Pssh." Kurama walked past him down the hall. "So why're you in here instead of out with the girls and Yusuke?"
"Cuz they came inside after I charred one too many fluttering insects."
"...Really. Sounds like fun."
"Not really."
They walked into the living room where the other three were gathered.
"Have fun?" Eclipse asked.
"That kid is the biggest baby I have ever met!"
"I have to live with him..."
"Pity you."
"So what now?" Shadow asked, sprawled on the couch so no one else could sit down.
"So now you move so I can sit there," Hiei said.
"No I don't."
Hiei shrugged and sat on her stomach.
"Ooof! Get off me, fatso!"
"You wouldn't move."
"I'll move! Jeez! Get off me before your fatness makes me chuck up my guts!"
Hiei looked down at her. "Just because you're being mean, I don't think I will."
"SUMIMASENNNNNN!!!" Shadow wailed, grabbing his arm and pulling him off balance so he ended up lying partially on top of her. She hugged him. "I'm soooooo sorry! You're not fat! You're so far from fat it's funny! You're all muscle!"
The other three just watched this display of exaggerated flattery with their usual expressions used when dealing with anything Shadow was involved with. Their 'She's nuts' look.
"Do you forgive me?" Shadow asked pleadingly.
"Yes, fine, you're forgiven..." Hiei replied reluctantly. Shadow squealed.
"Yay! Thank you Lord and Master Hiei!" She hugged him yet again. When neither moved for quite some time, Kurama sighed.
"So what now?"
"I think they're asleep," Yusuke muttered.
"No they aren't," Eclipse said. "But I'm gonna poke them with this sharp stick just to make sure." She whipped out a stick from mid-air and jabbed Shadow in the side with it. She yelped and jumped, sliding backwards off the couch and taking Hiei with her. They landed with a thud on the floor.
"Oof!"
"Yep. They're awake," Eclipse announced, handing the stick to Kurama and sitting in a nearby recliner. Shadow dragged herself out from under Hiei and lunged at her friend, knocking her and the recliner both over.
"YOU DARE TO DISTURB ME!"
"I DARE!"
"YOU POKED ME!"
"I POKED YOU!"
"I HATE YOU!"
"I HATE YOU!"
"I'M RIGHT!"
"I'M RIGHT!"
"YOU'RE WRONG!"
"YOU'RE WRONG!"
"...I'LL LEND YOU MONEY, SHADOW!"
"I WON'T LEND YOU MONEY, SHADOW!"
"DAMN YOU!"
"DAMN ME! Wait, what?"
Shadow fell over laughing. Hiei snorted.
"Baka."
"Don't call me names!" Eclipse snapped. "I'ma gonna pummel you!"
"Right. Like that'll ever happen... You'd first have to catch me off guard..."
"I can do that."
"No you can't, I'm never off guard."
"You were when I bombarded you with marshmallows while you were making out with Shadow earlier, and when Shadow had hugged the life out of you, and when that one thing happened that was also Shadow's fault!"
"What? Why was it my fault!"
"Everything's always your fault! You make Hiei be off guard!"
"I'm never off guard!" Hiei argued. "I may appear so but you can never catch me off guard."
"Yeah right... What about when you're sleeping peacefully in the nice soft bed in your bedroom at Shadow's house? Are you still guarding then?" Then she added as an afterthought in the same tone, "If you ever actually sleep in your own bed?"
"What's that supposed to mean?! I sleep in my own bed!"
"I was just thinking you slept in Shadow's more often."
"WHY IS EVERYONE PICKING ON ME?" Hiei bawled.
"AND ME!" Shadow added in the same upset tone.
"Nobody cares about you, I'm just wondering why they pick on me," Hiei said under his breath.
"Nobody cares about me?! Pah! See if I ever do anything nice for you again... Stupid Hiei... No more cookies!"
Hiei quirked an eyebrow. "...Oookay..."
"And no more kisses!"
"I'll live..."
"And no more... Um... You can just not live with me any more! Because you don't care about me! I could get hit by a bus and you wouldn't visit me in the hospital!"
"True. Because you wouldn't be in a hospital, you'd be in the infirmary you made in the basement, if you had any injuries at all, Miss Indestructible..."
"I'm IMMORTAL! MUWAHAHAHA! But I'm still mad at you."
"Shadow, you're retarded."
"OOooh, retarded, scary word..."
"Immature?"
"Yes I am."
"Ugly?"
"DAMN YOU, HOW DARE YOU? Now I REALLY hate you!"
"Lover's spat," Yusuke diagnosed, nodding. "How cute."
"WHOSE SPAT?" the fire demons shouted in unison. They pounced on him and tore him limb from limb. "HOW MANY TIMES MUST YOU BE INFORMED THAT WE ARE NOT LOVERS?!"
Yusuke was once again left in an unconscious heap while everyone else did other things.
- - -
Any mistakes, lack of dividers, etc, are the fault of proof-reading ages ago, not proof-reading the uploaded copy, and, once again, feeling like shit. Have a nice day.
Oh, I'd also like to tell you I'm reading an absolutely wonderful book called "The Dark Half" by Stephen King... Another book about an author with some issues, like Secret Window, only not quite the same... Cuz... This is about an author who has used a pseudonym for the past thirteen years and made a bunch of money writing crime novels under the name George Stark... And now somebody uncovered that he's really George Stark and forced him to go public and he says he's never writing under that name again, la la la, and apparently somehow (only being on chapter two, I'm not sure) George Stark becomes a real person and starts killing everyone... I dunno. But it's pretty good... Of course, it's got loads of cussing and violence like most Stephen King books, and one of my favorite lines was found flipping through skimming pages at random. This guy gets brutally murdered, then George Stark (??? I DON'T KNOW, HE'S A PSEUDONYM COME TO LIFE!), who had killed him, says, "Have a nice day, motherfucker." Muwaha. I love that line. Don't ask why, it's just... Cool.