Author's Notes: Nothing much here. Last chapter! Now I'm done!

The Great Susinko: twitch This IS a fic that is SUPPOSED to make you think about how the Turks deal with it!

Whatever: Yes, Tseng preformed the marriage ceremony.

ELENA

"Ugh! Imagine sending the Turks out for THAT little thing! What a waste! And look, my manicure is ruined!" the blonde whined, shoving her hands in front of Rude's face.

"Shesh Elena, if Rude weren't my husband I'd say he was your boyfriend. How do you really expect him to deal with that?" Reno teased as he sat himself in Rude's lap.

"Reno, you're just so cruel!" the whiny female said with a pout.

"And Rude loves him for it, so don't expect a chance," Tseng said from behind his desk, not wanting an argument.

"Whatever. And now look at my shirt! It's got blood on it! And my hair is singed by Reno's missed fire spell!"

"I didn't miss then," Reno chuckled.

"Oh!" the female grabbed a coffee cup and threw it at the redhead. Just as they all knew he would, Rude caught the mug and placed it back on the small table Elena had grabbed it from.

"Elena," Tseng said, not looking up, "We all know what you want, so just go."

Every big mission the blonde did this, finding something to complain about. By now they all knew that this was coming, so they were annoyed. Elena would go out, sell her entire wardrobe except her uniform, and buy a completely new one. Rude and Tseng figured, quite rightly, that Elena viewed her appearance as the only thing she controlled in her life. So, when she didn't like the Turk she was, she'd go out and do this, seemingly purging her system of evils, only to be corrupted again later.

"I need someone to carry my bags!" Elena said, a sweet smile on her face.

"Where is your normal guy?" Reno asked.

Elena looked away and frowned, "We just killed him..."

'Ah, so there is why she is doing this,' Tseng thought, 'I knew such a routine mission shouldn't bug her.'

"Don't look at me," Reno said with a smirk, "I've already got my hands full." And so he did, with Rude...

"Me too," Rude half whispered, half-groaned in pleasure when Reno ran his hands up the Turk's leg.

"Tsengy?" Elena asked optimistically.

"Fine... But I am NOT trying anything on!"

"You look great Tseng!" Elena chuckled as she blinded her boss with a flash of light.

"Elena!" he roared and tried to seize the camera.

"Nope!" she laughed and danced out of reach, snapping another picture.

For a moment the Turk leader stood there, hands on his hips and glaring. This did not have the desired effect and Elena merely fell to her knees by her stacks of new boxes and bags of clothes in laughter. The woman's plan had started simply, and Tseng hadn't expected it. First it was a pink manicure and pedicure, then his hair in a French braid. Yet now he towered over her in a hardly menacing way.

"You bitch!" Tseng swore, though happy that Elena's mood had improved.

Elena taunted him by waving one developed picture in front of his nose. Tseng tried to grab it but failed, Elena was just that much quicker than him. Fate was a cruel mistress. In addition to his pedicure, manicure and French braid, he wore an outfit she had chosen. The main part of his clothes was the hot pink go-go boots, mini-skirt, and halter top, coupled with a darker pink purse. On top of all of that she'd gotten him, somehow, into a thong, bra, pantyhose, bright pink lipstick and eye shadow. Finally she'd placed a red bow in his hair.

"You should wear that as your Halloween costume Tsengy!"

"I never dress-up for that stupid mandatory Shin-Ra Party. None of us really do."

"Oh come on, it will be fun!" Elena insisted.

"Fine..."

When Tseng came into Shin-Ra the next day many were snickering at him. He didn't know why until he went upstairs and entered the cafeteria for his morning coffee. Everywhere there were blown-up pictures of Tseng in the pink clothes, one posters reading 'Fear Tseng? Not anymore! Vote Reno Fletcher-Urnar for Halloween Prankster Prince, and Elena Ryan for Prankster Princess!'"

"..." Tseng turned around and head back to the elevator. By the end of the day he'd be the only Turk left standing.

Fin