On my sixth trek through Middle-earth, this is what I saw:

Six Uruk-Hai

Five Narsil shards

Four traveling hobbits

Three rings for the elf kings

Two shades of Gandalf

And one ring to rule them all

A large foot landed in the puddle and scattered the liquid gold across the floor. Sam slowly looked up. A band of Uruk-hai were glaring down at him.

"Eep." Sam crawled backwards and then ran to join the other hobbits hiding behind Gandalf the White.

The Uruk-hai looked at Gandalf, grunted, and turned away. They trooped over to a corner and huddled together, mumbling something in the black speech and casting suspicious glances at Gandalf and the hobbits.

"They're plotting something," Merry said.

"But what?" Sam asked.

"I don't know. Do you, Pippin?" Frodo asked.

Pippin didn't answer.

"Pippin?" The hobbits looked around. Pippin was missing.

"Oh, no!" Frodo realized, "We left him tied up in the corner!"

They all turned to look at the Uruk-hai, who were still standing around…something small lying on the floor.

"We have to rescue him! He'll be traumatized!"

"I know, Sam," said Frodo, "but how? There's six of them plus a Gandalf and three of us plus a Gandalf."

Merry took a deep breath. "Guys, I think it's time for…"

"No! Not that!" Frodo shouted.

"…Ninja Hobbits!"

Ten minutes later, the six Uruk-hai were out cold on the floor. Merry ran over and untied Pippin. "Come on," he said, "we need to find a defensible place before they wake up and want their captive back!"

"Before who wakes up?"

"Shh!"

"Merry! Over here!" Frodo, Sam and Gandalf had rearranged the furniture to make a fort behind the sofas. Merry pushed Pippin over the top of the couch before jumping into the fort himself.

"Pippin!" Frodo and Sam exclaimed. "You're safe!"

"You guys saved me!" Pippin cried. "Um, why are you all wearing black?"

"We're Ninja Hobbits," Sam explained. "You have to wear black to be a Ninja Hobbit."

"Gandalf too?"

"Well, he's sort of an honorary hobbit for now."

"Well, hello again! Been enjoying yourselves?"

The hobbits turned around. Their fort had just happened to be built around the spot on the floor where Narsil was still lying.

"I say, is anyone going to pick me up? I can't see a darn thing down here."

Frodo reached down and picked up the sword. He put it on one of the chairs. "Is that better?"

"Much. Wow! You've been fighting! Did you win? Boy, I love battles. Have I ever told you about the time I chopped the ring off Sauron's finger? Those were the days!"

"Does that sword never shut up?" Merry whispered to Sam.

"I don't think so," Sam whispered back. "I guess we just wait until the next things appear and maybe they'll be able to make it stop."