Author's Note: Ok, my beta sent back two copies. The original and the beta'd. I assume this is the right one as Apparate was capitalised and the other one wasn't... Anywho, enjoy.
--Previous Chapter--
"I'm sorry!" she cried, as she fell to her knees in tears. Draco came and
sat down in front of her and hugged her as tight as he could, and she gave
way to the comfort she felt when with him.
Soon, she felt another arm wrap around her, and then two more. She knew it
was her friends. The support she felt helped greatly, and she was able to
stop crying after what felt like half an hour. They sat there for a little
while longer, all crying and hugging each other as if their lives depended
on it.
---
Explanations Pt. II
Draco pulled Hermione onto the couch, his arm around her waist in a
protective manner. If she was honest, she just wanted to be alone, but there
was a small part of her that needed to know so much that they would tell her
if she stayed. So she did. Harry, Ron and Ginny sat on the couch across from
theirs.
"How did you know?" she asked.
"Know what?" asked Ron.
"Know that Harry needed help."
"Oh. Well, we weren't getting any letters from him. Then Hedwig showed up,
going completely crazy. We knew something was wrong, so me and Ginny took
the Knightbus to Privet drive, because mum and dad were out. When we got to
Privet drive, we knocked on the door and no-one answered. It was during the
day, so we figured they had gone out. But then Hedwig appeared again and
started going crazy, hooting at the window that was Harry's bedroom. We got
worried, blasted the door open and saved him."
"Wow. But didn't you get told off for using magic?"
"No. Fudge lowered the age limit, because of Voldemort's return. You did
magic during the summer, too, Hermione."
"I did?" She though hard, racking through her memories quickly.
"Yes, you used a healing charm on yourself. The ministry are keeping track
of the magic we use, but we are allowed to use it," said Harry.
"Right."
They sat in silence for a few minutes, when she spoke again.
"What about you Ginny? Why were you in St. Mungo's?"
She contemplated telling Hermione, by the look on her face. She clearly went
through a horrible ordeal, as her face paled immediately. But Hermione felt
as if she needed to know. Probably because she was sick and tired of the
secrets and the lies.
And she was confused as hell!
"The Burrow was attacked. I was captured. Harry told me that what happened
to me, was the same thing that happened to you. Except, there were fewer
Death Eaters."
She suddenly felt extremely sad, angry and guilty that her friend had had to
experience the same thing she did. A slight wave of amazement flooded her
for a second before it was gone. Ginny seemed perfectly normal. Well,
seemed, was the word. She hadn't spoken to her, really. And, if Hermione
could hide everything, why couldn't Ginny?
But she knew Ginny would not want to talk about it, just like Hermione
didn't at all. So she didn't ask any more questions.
"Draco?"
"Hm?"
"I don't fully understand. You said you were used as your father's test
subject. But, you went back to him after that. What made you change your
mind?"
"I didn't have to change my mind. I had to stand up for myself. I've never
wanted to be Voldemort's slave. I've never believed in the whole
pure-blooded crap my father drummed into my head. I was weak. I wanted, so
badly, to impress him, that I stuck around through thick and thin.
"You weakened me. Too much. But when I found that Ginny was captured, I
couldn't stand what he was doing to her, what he was doing to so many
innocent women and children.
"I tried to save her, but I got caught. Luckily, Professor Snape was in the
same room at the time, so he helped me out. Neither of us got out unscathed,
but Ginny was worst off. Madam Pomfrey didn't have the facilities to heal
her effectively, so she sent her onto Mungo's."
She felt an immense weight lift off her shoulders and a wave of gratitude
roll over her. Draco Malfoy had saved her best girl friend.
"Thank you," she whispered.
He merely smiled down at her.
"There's something else I don't understand. If what you say is true, then
why did you come to warn me about the death eaters attacking me?"
"Huh?" he said, and she was instantly confused. "I didn't come to warn you,
I came to kidnap you."
Now she was really confused.
"I wanted to prove myself. I told my father over and over that I could be a
Death Eater. That I could be the person he expected me to be. You were my
task. I was supposed to capture you and bring you to Malfoy Manor. Voldemort
was residing there at the time. My father got your fireplace connected to
the Floo network, as he knew you wouldn't be able to Apparate.
"I Apparated to your house. What I found was most certainly not what I had
expected. I weakened right away. I watched your mother be killed, Hermione,
and your father kill himself.
"I suddenly realised your life was really similar to mine, and felt a
connection. Hope, I think. I was so close to suicide, I needed something to
pull me up out of the depression. I saw that there were other people
suffering like me. I wanted to help." He shrugged.
She started to feel like all this information was overwhelming her, but she
needed to know, so she merely nodded in response. She had a few more
questions yet.
"What about the first day back, what happened then?"
"I don't remember," giggled Draco.
She laughed a little to. "Well, I went to Professor McGonagall to get my
time table. You were in transfiguration at the time. I heard shouting in
side, a lot of worried voice and Harry telling everyone to leave him alone."
Draco looked at Harry, and Hermione followed.
"You know I've been having nightmares lately?"
"Yeah."
"Well, they weren't nightmares, they were visions. I'd see most of
Voldemort's kills and even some of the Death Eaters'. I got a vision during
that lesson, but I was able to see my surroundings. All I could feel from
the vision was the pain."
She nodded. That made so much more sense now.
"What about you?" Her head shot up like a rocket, and she stared into the
eyes of Ginny.
"What about me?" she said defensively. She really wasn't in any mood to
bloody well tell her life history.
"Don't play dumb with us. You've lied to us for years, haven't you?"
Hermione didn't say anything. "I knew something wasn't right." She still
said nothing. "Hermione, what exactly did your father do to you?"
'What exactly did your father do to you?' Was she supposed to answer that?
How COULD she answer that? Was it physically possible? And what made it
their business anyway?
Then it hit her. They had shared their shit pasts with her, so why shouldn't
she? What was to say they weren't as sick of the lies and secrets as she
was?
"He abused me," she said simply.
"Why did you never tell us?"
She sighed. "Before Hogwarts, I was, quite literally, nothing. I had no
friends, my father hated me and I had nothing going for me. I wasn't even
clever back then. When I got my Hogwarts letter, I vowed I would make a new
start. I would make friends, good friends. I would be smart, and I would be
recognised.
"I succeeded. But I always had my past to haunt me, telling me that I wasn't
perfect. I couldn't admit to myself that I was abused, that I was unloved by
my own father. How was I supposed to admit it to you? Admitting it to you
made it real, and I didn't want it to be real. I just wanted to be normal.
"That's all I've ever wanted."
They all looked at her with sorrow-ridden faces. The tears that had been
congregating in Ginny's eyes finally dropped.
There was silence for a while, before – "Hermione?"
"Yeah?"
"Why did you shout at Snape?" asked Draco, quite amused.
She already felt angry, sad, guilty, embarrassed, confused and simply tired
of everything, so that question didn't spark any new emotion.
"Dumbledore told me that my so called father wasn't my father; he was a
Death Eater. Apparently he was a very loyal one too. He fell in love with my
mother, a Muggle, and Voldemort found out. He decided he had to be punished.
"He cast the Imperius on a Muggle, making him unable to fight it. He then
ordered a Death Eater to order this Muggle to rape and torture my mother,
then kill her. The Death Eater was then supposed to kill the Muggle.
Voldemort hoped my 'father' would rejoin his side loyally.
"Dumbledore told me Snape knew. He was that Death Eater, he had to have
been. Death Eaters don't go bragging about the fact they didn't kill someone
they were supposed to. I realised this in Potions. I got mad, and he
reacted, and I knew it was him."
They all sat in shock and this news.
"But that doesn't make sense. There's so much that doesn't fit. If your
mother is alive, what went wrong?" asked Ginny.
"Um, my father got there in time to stop the Muggle and killed him. They ran
off and started a new life as Muggles," she replied.
"But, how did Snape prove to Voldemort your mother had been killed, when she
hadn't? And what about when your 'father' didn't return? Why the hell is
Snape even still alive?"
She was asking some pretty good questions, that Hermione did not know the
answers to. She merely shrugged.
"Don't you want to know?"
"Do I want to know how my mother escaped a crazed Death Eater and a Muggle
under Imperius and the reason Snape is still alive after practically raping
my mother and not killing her afterwards?
"No, not really."
"But, Hermione, it could make you understand more about why your parents
were the way they were!"
"I don't want to know! I just want to forget them and move on and heal and
just forget ok?" she shouted, surprising even herself.
"Ok," said Ginny, meekly.
Hermione's eyes were starting to sting, and she realised then that she was
trying very hard not to cry. Trying to be strong in a situation that didn't
allow for such actions. Draco noticed this, and Hermione immediately melted
into the hug.
What seemed like hours of silence later, Hermione was shaken awake by Draco.
She looked around to see Harry doing the same with Ginny. Ron seemed to be
refusing to wake up. Hermione had to wonder when exactly she had fallen
asleep...
"We should go to dinner," said Harry to the room including the finally awake
Ron.
"Yeah. We've got to face them sometime," said Ginny.
Hermione agreed. They couldn't just hide. If they did that, rumours would
spread and such and everything would just blow out of proportion.
They had to face it, head on, now.
She heaved a heavy, emotional sigh. "Right, what time is it?"
"End of lessons for the day. Dinner should be starting soon," said Ron.
"I suppose we should move then," said Draco. And they did.
They walked silently down to the great hall, each wanting to make
conversation, but no-one knowing what to say. Hermione decided to point
blank ignore every single person in the hall.
Blank them out.
She could do that...
Right?
They walked into the hall, and headed straight for the Gryffindor table. She
could feel all their eyes on them, but she pushed it as far back as she
could and tried to focus on the task at hand.
Get through dinner.
She wasn't hungry. She felt sick, like always. And she felt emotionally
tired.
She sat down, the others sitting around her. Draco sat next to her, and took
her hand to give her support. She appreciated that.
Before she knew it, Dumbledore was calling the entire school to attention.
"Today we have a special announcement to make. Now, I would usually have
done this at breakfast, but do to a few unforeseen circumstances, it was put
on hold.
"This-" he pointed to a girl who stood off to the side of the hall. She
hadn't noticed her before, but how she hadn't was quite hard to figure out.
She was donning a pair of black trousers with bits of red on, with a chain
hanging on the side. She wore a sleeveless black top with what appeared to
be a fish net long sleeved t-shirt of the top, which covered her hands. She
was also clad in black, red and pink rubber bangles, some silver and beaded
bracelets and a black necklace with a star on the end. Very gothic – "is
Lyssa Padhum. Her parents previously home schooled her, but due to
unfortunate circumstances, this can not go on. She will be joining sixth
year, and the Sorting Hat will choose the correct house." Hermione, who had
been looking at the extremely shy and nervous girl – which contrasted
greatly with her fashion sense – suddenly noticed the stool with the sorting
hat on top.
Lyssa walked up to the stool, sat down, and McGonagall placed the hat on her
head.
She seemed to sit there for ages, getting more nervous by the second.
Hermione was starting to wonder exactly what the sorting hat and Lyssa were
talking about, when it exclaimed "GRYFFINDOR!"
She looked quite triumphant, Hermione noticed. She watched as she walked
down the Gryffindor table, looking for an empty space. She stopped next to
Neville, who was looking extremely nervous, as was Lyssa.
"Could I sit here?" she asked, her voice innocent.
"Erm, yeah, sure," replied Neville, who sat opposite Hermione.
Lyssa smiled at him and took her seat. She looked around at all the faces
staring at her. It was then Hermione realised she was staring. She was doing
the thing that she hated other people doing the most.
She felt guilty that the attention of the school had been taken away from
them - Harry, Draco, Ginny, Ron and herself - to Lyssa.
Hermione immediately looked round to Draco, only to see him eyeing the girl
intently. Along with Ron. And Dean. And Seamus.
And every other damn male the hall!
Except Harry, who looked suspicious?
"Um, does that Pasta have mushrooms in it?" asked Lyssa.
Taken slightly off guard, Neville peered into the bowl of Pasta and nodded
his confirmation.
"Oh, ok, could you pass me the potatoes then please?" He did. "Thank you."
Most of the hall had stopped starring, but Ron, Draco, Dean and Seamus were
still ogling Lyssa like she had leeks sprouting out of her ears and green
spots on her skin.
Hermione waved her hand in front of Draco's eyes, but he didn't even
acknowledge her presence. She could tell Lyssa was starting to get
uncomfortable, so she slapped him across the cheek and cried, "Oi!"
He snapped out of it immediately, sending an apologetic smile to Hermione,
who felt something close to jealousy inside of her, and a quick glance back
at Lyssa.
Why was she jealous, exactly?
Dean, Seamus and Ron had stopped staring, too, but still kept sending Lyssa
quick glances. Hermione wasn't so sure what the fascination was. She wasn't
even that pretty!
"So what happened to your parents?" asked Dean, who showed no sign of his
previous actions.
"Um..." Hermione could tell she really didn't want to tell the entire
Gryffindor table.
"Is that any of your business, Dean? Why do you people always have to know
everything? And then stare when you do!" she shouted. Hermione eyed the food
around her with distaste, suddenly feeling sicker than before.
She the shook herself, and realised the entire school was staring at her,
again, and she realised she should have kept her mouth shut.
Next time, she would know better. She let her head fall into her arms, which
were folded on the table, and groaned irritated. She just felt... stupid. Like
the whole world was against her, and the need to be sarcastic was
over-ruling her.
She felt somebody rubbing her back, and looked up, took a long heavy breath
and turned to look and smile at Draco.
"I'm going back to the common room, I'll see you guys later." They all
nodded reluctantly, but let her go.
......
Gee, no need to over-react, huh? Smirks Anywho, the next chapter, and the one after that and the one after that will be up soon as they are already written. This is, of course, if my beta gets her but back from Toronto :)
Oh, and, REVIEW!
P.S, I think this chapter is a bit messed up, look wise. It came like that in the email...