I dont own Harry Potter, but I do own Lloyd

Chapter 2

"Teeheee," a very drunk Peter Pettigrew slurred out of his mouth. "You're sooo cute when you breath heavily Lloyd. It usually sucks out all the happiness in people, but I guess I'm just unhappy to begin with." Wormtail laughed out loud.

In fact, Wormtail began giggling so hard, that he went into a fit of hysterical giggles. But that's not a double negative. Nope not at all. Because when you had six ice cold mugs of Fire Whiskey, nothing was negative at all. Not even your openly gay boyfriend, who just so happened to be a Dementor named Lloyd. A/N: What, did you actually think that slime like Peter Pettigrew worth writing a serious fiction on?

Wormtail didn't remember that he was supposed to be at the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic. All he could remember was Lord Voldemort putting those weird spells on him.

"All I can remember is Master pu-put-putting those weird spells on me," Wormtail thought out loud. He only knew that he was still virtually invisible, but he couldn't remember why he was in such a state!

"Lloyd, I can't remember why I am in such a sta-sta-state!" Wormtail hiccupped. "Maybe I'm supposed to be somewhere...hmmm." Peter began tapping his new, silver hand on the round table as he tried to remember anything important. Needless to say, he didn't remember how powerful the hand was in his drunken state, because the wood began to splinter with each tap.

"Oh well!" Wormtail yelled. "I don't remember or care, because I'm with you, schnookems!" He flirtatiously smiled at Lloyd and blinked a number of times with his watery blue eyes. Oh yeah, Peter Pettigrew thought he was hoT stuff! In fact, this was Wormtail and Lloyd's very first date! It was at Mug O' Mudlblood, the darkest, most evil pub in all of England.

There was a long silence. Wormtail frowned and swayed (and almost fell in drunken glory) closer to his boyfriend. "Lloyd, talk to me, darling. You're so quiet. I know I'm invisible, but I don't know why. Maybe this is the way we're meant to be!" He winked, and reach over to pinch Lloyd's slimy, cold cheek (or lack thereof).

It was quite surprising to see such a pair together, as every person who is reading this fan fiction agreed. Both were servants to Lord Voldemort, and they had a met a few nights ago at a muggle-killing on the outskirts of London. They were assigned for the same project, and they were instantly attracted to one another.

Wormtail just loved how tall Lloyd was, and his hooded figure was worth a million galleons, in Wormtail's opinion. Wormtail just found the dementor completely sexy.

And Lloyd? Well, who wouldn't want to have dinner with a stuttering ratty fatty? Maybe evil weirdos like them were just meant to be together. They talked all night, and made plans for a dinner for two for the following night.

Wormtail had found out that Lloyd had extra special powers (and an extra special sexuality) for a dementor. He could see the living, the dead, the invisible, and just about anything else. Lloyd even had x-ray vision. Wormtail thought to himself, "Now how cool is that!" And he didn't have the common sense to think like every other person, who thought, "Ewe! How weird is that!"

Of course, Wormtail didn't listen to the Author's advice, which said that he was crazy to even be attracted to a dementor. He shouldn't be in this fan fiction, and when the hell did he turn into a homosexual? Not to mention that Wormtail completely ignored the fact that the Author wants him dead for all the horrible stuff he's done to Harry Potter and company.

No. Wormtail had to be a priss. He had to go out, and make a date with a Lonely Dementor. Of course, its blatantly obvious that neither has ever, or would ever get any romantic action. So they both figured, "What the hell?" Let's be gay and fall in love with each, and see how many reviews this author gets for writing such a crazy, random fic."

And thus began a very warped chapter in the Harry Potter fan fictions:

There they were. An animagus and dementor, on the weirdest date in magical history, sharing drinks and laughs - well, laughs and a spastic little wheezing noise, in Lloyd's case.

They kept on complimenting each other, or enlightening each other on the best way to kill someone. Obviouslyl, Lloyd had mastered the art of soul-sucking. And Wormtail was the queen of betrayal. The fate was basically very gushy and appalling for anybody to hear or see. So the Author decided to not make herself sick, and cease from writing anymore about the conversation, which became more and more like an episode of Full House on acid.)

Finally, Lloyd spoke up. "Your place or mine, Wormy?"

Wormtail raised his eyebrows in shock. He said, in a loving, neurotically-gay-and-out-of-his-mind-for-dating-a-dementor voice, "Now, Lloyd. I understand that we are both looking for a meaningful relationship, and I realize that we both want to take this to the next level. But dear, this is our very first date. We haven't even shared our first kiss. What kind of Death Eater do you think I am?"

"The kind that is a complete idiot!" A high-pitched voice yelled from behind him.