Author's Note: I will not upload chapter 17 until I get 15 reviews. It's betad and ready to go up. If I don't get the reviews, you'll have to wait until I've finished the story... Lol, I know I'm being a bitch, but I know people read this but don't review. And I make a large point of reviewing every story I read. Shrugs

---Previous Chapter---

"Can I have a hug?" They all slammed into her at once, making her laugh and fall over. They all landed in one big laughing heap on the stones, each grumbling about bruised bones in the morning.

They all walked slowly back to Hogwarts. It was way past two now, and they were sure Dumbledore would be worried.

Hermione spent the whole time thinking of just one thing.

Why 'Mudblood Whore'?

Will You Go To The Ball With Me?

When they were back in the common room, they just sat around talking about everything and anything, again. After a couple hours, they got bored and decided to go for a walk.

Lyssa led. They walked down to the lake, around it, around the back of the castle and then up several flights to the Room of Requirement. Lyssa told them all to stay there while she made a surprise room for them all.

She walked forward and back past the door three times, thinking to herself. When the door emerged, she grinned to herself and stepped inside. Hermione and the others followed.

They walked into a large room filled with nothing but a few of what looked to be punching bags. There were mirrors lining one of the walls, shelves filled with books filling two more walls, and the other –with the door in- was blank. There was a CD player in front of the mirror.

Hermione looked at Lyssa, completely confused. She just grinned and said,

"All of you have been so depressed lately. You have lots of pent up anger that needs to be released. I saw it when we were fighting the Slytherins. It's really starting to get to Ron and I.

"Sooooo we are going to have some fun with punch bags and loud music!" She grinned again and walked over to the CD player, pressed a button, and music blasted out of the speakers.

"Evanescence!" she shouted to them.

She looked to others, who all looked shocked. She then looked back to Lyssa who had got up and was walking back to them.

"Come on. You all need to be fit and ready if we hope to stay alive. We know the Death Eaters are after you guys, and me too probably, cause we are friends with Harry. So, I think we need to have a bit of physical defence as well as magical.

"And, trust me when I say, it helps get rid of your anger. I'm sure some of you have figured that out by hitting the nearest thing to you."

Hermione suddenly remembered the night when they were in the Room of Requirement and Hermione had hit the fireplace out of anger.

"Well, what's the mirror for?"

Lyssa shrugged. "To be honest, I just pictured the room I trained in." She then looked as though she shouldn't have said that.

"Shall we get start then?"

"You're trained in physical defence?"

"Well, yes."

"Why?"

"Because. Now, are we doing this or not?" They all nodded. "Right, just stretch a bit and we can throw a few punches."

Hermione stretched her muscles the way she had been taught in school. She then took of her robes, leaving just her shirt, and put on the gloves Lyssa had given her.

"Ok, usually you would have to be taught what to do, but I think you can get the idea from me showing you."

So, she walked over to the bag, punched it, looked back at them, punched it again, and then kicked it....

"Ok?" she said.

There was a murmur of 'Yes' and then Hermione made her way to the bag nearest. She hit it, quite hard, and then stared at it, trying to picture someone she wanted to beat up.

Voldemort's face came to mind, but then Percy's... Lucius Malfoy... her father's ... unknown Death Eaters'.

A wave of dizziness hit her, and she dropped to the floor, her knees hitting hard. She let out a faint cry, before she crawled to the nearby wall for support. She hadn't had the after effects for ages, so she'd assumed they'd stopped. She could hear voices and footsteps around her, but a deafening whistling was drowning them out.

She was in the room with the Death Eaters again.

One stepped forward. The fear started ebbing it's way back again. But it was slowly overcome with shock. It was Percy! Percy Weasley. He was a Death Eater.

"Hello Hermione," he purred, sardonically. He got close, closer than the other one. "My turn," he whispered in her ear. His hands roved all over her body, pinching and punching at her skin. He started to make his way down her body, towards her womanhood. She tried her hardest to push the shock away, she started struggling against him. But he was too strong, and he was too close. Again, before she knew it he was thrusting into her, getting some kick out of her pain.

It was getting to her... she could hardly move. The next came in a blur of pain and emotion. Faces laughing.... Staring down at her intently. The next was a complete blur of pain... the next a blur of nothingness. A Cruciatus was thrown. She finally passed out.

She was in the room... surrounded by Death Eaters again. They had revived her... they all loomed closely, getting closer by the second... two got hold of her, pinning her face down to the floor... she heard them all laughing... then it touched her skin, a knife... they were carving something into her lower back... she was screaming, flailing around uncontrollably... the pain was intense... even more so than the Cruciatus. The cuts were deep, and went on for what felt like hours... almost as if they were being precise about it... taking their time and care to put as much pain and hatred into each cut... each touch made her flinch... each second she feared them...

She could still feel the cuts in her back when it stopped. Tears were pouring down her cheeks. The pain was unbearable. She was shaking. She just wanted it to stop. It had to stop. She felt as though she was going to explain with the pain.

The after effects of the Cruciatus still lingered, intensifying the pain. She felt arms wrap around her but she pushed them away.

She slowly and reluctantly reached down to the bottom of her back. She felt the scars that still reside, but there was no blood so they hadn't re-opened.

There was only one more thought on her mind.

What did they carve into her back? They weren't normal cuts. They were crafted. She looked up, glaring, and walked over to the mirror.

Turning around, she lifted her shirt up and looked down to her back.

'Mudblood Whore'. She could see it, clear as day. Written it little white letters, startlingly neat. It was scarred. She was scarred. Scarred for life.

Her legs gave way again, and she fell to the floor. She didn't feel any pain. Her heart was empty, her body was empty, her mind was empty. Nothing made sense. Everything that had happened had poured back into her mind, but it was as if her mind was ignoring it. Her mind couldn't take any more. It had blocked it out, thrown it away. But the memories were strong, they were slowly leaking through the unknown barrier in her mind.

Her breathing grew rapid; she looked up the faces of her friends, and saw them filled with sympathy. They had known. Her breathing was getting faster. She needed oxygen. She felt as though she were hyperventilating.

Arms encircled her again. Words were being whispered into her ear, and circles being drawn onto her back, soothing her.

"Breathe. It's ok, just breathe Mya."

"I tried to kill my pain, but only brought more. I may die, and I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal. I'm dying, fraying, bleeding and screaming. Am I too lost to be saved? Am I too lost?"

The circles they were drawing on her back relaxed her. All the memories were still there, but she felt as though she could handle them, as long as the circles didn't stop.

Whoever it was, pulled her into their lap, and continued drawing the circles. They were also rocking her, whispering shushing noises in her ear. Soothing.

She felt so safe, so protected. So loved.

"It's ok. It doesn't mean anything, ok," said Draco. She could tell by his voice in her ear.

It was him that was soothing her.

They sat there for a few minutes. But then the circles stopped, and the rocking, and the whispers, and everything came flying back.

"Don't, "she cried, "please, don't stop."

He moved a bit. She didn't know where. She didn't want to look. She kept her head buried in his chest. She then stopped moving and started soothing her again. This time not rocking, or whispering, just drawing the circles on her back.

She felt as though she were falling asleep. But then the music that had been playing, which she hadn't even realised, stopped and she could hear voices around her.

"Do you think we should wake them?"

"No, leave them."

"They are so cute!"

"And she's so blind."

"I know. I think she's like the only one who doesn't realise."

"It's practically written on their foreheads."

"He's crazy about her. It's real love. Not just the friendly love."

"I think she'll realise soon enough. Maybe tomorrow."

A laugh. A door shutting.

Who were they talking about? Surely not Hermione? It couldn't be. She didn't love anyone.

And the thought was gone from her mind when she realised Draco had fallen to sleep.

She moved slowly, trying to get off him without waking him. Her leg slipped and she kicked him in the chest. He didn't move a muscle. Slightly worried, she checked he actually had a pulse. He did. She shook him a bit, and he still didn't wake.

Smirking, she decided to try and wake him, but not by touching him. She walked over to the CD player, turned up the volume to MAX and pressed play. The music blasted out of the stereo, scaring Hermione out of her mind. After jumping so much she fell back, she got up and looked down to Draco, who still wasn't awake.

She just stared at him for a while. He looked so peaceful. So relaxed and natural. Like, when he was awake, he always had a face on. She hadn't noticed it before, but now it was so apparent. He wore a face of indifference. All the time.

Was he, perhaps, hiding behind that mask?

Before she could consider it, a song came on. One that had been playing one night when her dad came home. Drunk. And took it out on Hermione.

Instead of getting sad and emotional about it like she usually would, she felt angry. Angry about all the time he took it out on her, when she had always tried so hard to be perfect to her.

"Perfect by nature, icons of self indulgence, just what we all need, more lies about a world that never was a never will be."

She had always tried to be perfect. But it just didn't work. She couldn't be that person he wanted her to be. Anger was boiling up inside her now. She walked over to the punching bags and picked up the gloves. Putting them on, she punched it.

"Have you no shame, don't you see me? But you know you've got everybody fooled."

Did she? Did she have everybody fooled?

"Look here she comes now, bow down and stare in wonder, oh how we love you, no flaws when you're pretending."

But she did have flaws! She tried so hard to be perfect. But she wasn't! She could never be the way he wanted. She could never be perfect! She stopped punching the bag and walked over to the mirror.

"But now I know she never was and never will be, you don't know how you've betrayed me and somehow you've got everybody fooled."

She never was. And she never would be. It was true. She couldn't change it. She'd betrayed herself. She'd known all along, that she shouldn't change for anyone. Yet, she had changed. Her whole life had been a lie.

She didn't realise she was singing.

"Without the mask, where will you hide, can't find yourself, lost in your lies. I know the truth now. I know who you are. And I don't love you any more."

It was over. She was going to find the real Hermione.

"It never was and never will be you don't know you betrayed me and somehow you've got everybody fooled, never was and never will be you're not real and you cant save me and somehow now you're everybody's fool."

"You sing well." Startled, she whirled round, looked around, then down to the floor. Draco was awake, and smiling at her.

"You heard that?"

"Yes."

"It made me realise."

"Realise what."

"It's time to find the real me. For real. I'm sick of living up to other people's expectations."

She looked back at herself in the mirror.

"You can't be perfect." She looked back at Draco.

"Trust me, I know." And she looked back in the mirror. She titled her head to the side as she looked at herself. She had always worn her hair down, big and bushy. In truth, she did it for protection. To hide herself. The only time she'd ever worn it nicely was to the Yule Ball. In truth, it hadn't taken hours to straighten it. Just a simple spell to tame it, because it wasn't naturally bushy. She cast a spell that summoned a hair tie out of no-where and put her hair into a ponytail.

"How did you do that?!" asked Draco.

"Do what?"

"Summon that hair band out of thin air!"

"Standard book of spells, level 7." She grinned.

He lifted an eyebrow but said no more. "You look good like that. You should wear it up more often."

"Hm, maybe."

"Hermione?"

"Yeah," she said, and sat down next to Draco.

"Will you go to the ball with me?"

Next chapter: Answer to the question. Hermione realises certain things. Was Ginny talking about Draco and Hermione? Review to find out.