A/N: hello! This is going to be a short entry, im going to try and re-write a part of Tamora's book! I don't know about other Kel/Neal fans but my heart broke when we realised that Neal was getting married, because secretly I was still hoping it would be Kel! Lol! Anyway, hope this is enjoyable, but the only way I know is if you review, so please do!

Disclaimer: all characters etc. is the sole right of Tamora Pierce including the bit in '' marks at the beginning!

Enjoy:

Love AlannaWanabe

-x-

'Neal stumbled towards the door. As he reached where Kel stood with Yuki, he paused and raised his eyebrow in a silent question to Yuki. Silently she reached out and handed him her fan, Neal's face broke into a smile and he made his way out of the chapel"

Kel watched this silent exchange of a promise with a sudden understanding. Neal and Yuki. Who would have guessed? Certainly not Kel, his best friend. The shock of this exchange struck Kel like a sword piercing through her heart. Breath came short and her muscles tensed uncontrollably until she was forced to sit down, for fear of falling over.

Yuki turned to her, big brown eyes full with suppressed emotion.

"Kel?" she enquired

"Its just relief Yuki. I was scared for my best friend", breathed Kel, unable to resist putting emphasis on the 'my' part of the sentence.

"So were we all Kel, so were we all" replied Yuki calmly. Something about the way Yuki said this stilled the raging in Kel's stomach, Yuki really did love Neal. Kel was not sure whether she wanted to hug Yuki or run her through! She did neither instead she got up and walked swiftly away.

For a reason even Kel couldn't explain; instead of returning to her room she headed in the direction of Balor's needle. After an agonising climb to the top, Kel settled herself down on the topmost ledge and opened her eyes. Taking in the view of Corus and trying desperately hard to keep breathing. Stilling her thumping heart Kel breathed deeply and efficiently until she was positive that she wouldn't cry. Once the risk of tears had gone, Kel forced herself to think about she was desperately trying not to think about; Neal and Yuki. Together. Engaged.

A jealous bile arose in her throat at the very thought. Kel introduced them. Yuki was Kel's friend and Neal, well Neal was complicated. They were friends, but did she want more? It was too late now whatever she wanted. Regret at not having told Neal her feelings at the time set in, casting a bitter case over her heart. But, if she had told Neal, would she have lost him completely? The wind lashed against her face and she realised why she had come up here, with the ridiculous thought that the wind would remove the pain. She saw now this was ridiculous. She would never recover. Kel knew her questions could never be answered, but still they came flooding into her mind. Would he have asked her? Would she be the one handing him her fan?

Sitting at the top of Balor's needle, rain trickling down on top her; wind lashing her cheeks, Kel broke and wept openly.