Coffee, the drink of life
Colonel Robert E. Hogan dragged himself stiffly from bed and pulled on his uniform. Klink had started having super early roll call's in the morning, there was some big kraut general on the way and he was obviously trying to make himself look a little more in control of the camp then he really was.
Still moving around like a man only just conscious Hogan shuffled out the door and headed for the stove to get some coffee. Very strong coffee. He needed it. They had been out most of the night before blowing up a bridge, and Colonel Hogan, contrary to popular opinion needed his beauty sleep. Or any sleep. He'd take whatever he could get.
"Morning sir!" called Carter cheerily. Hogan flinched. That man was always just a little too happy in the morning; normal people didn't start functioning properly until after ten. Any time before that (and it was most definitely before ten) should only be approached after coffee. Strong coffee. Very strong coffee. Industrial strength coffee. Mmmm, industrial strength coffee.
Hogan grunted at Carter, and continued towards the coffee pot on the stove hoping nothing else tried to stop him reaching his goal. He wasn't usually a violent man, but if something got between him and his coffee...
"Colonel, there's bad news I'm afraid." Hogan stopped and stared at Kinch, who looked about as haggard and tired as he felt. At least he wasn't the only one who needed to be back in bed.
"Kinch, let me get some coffee and we can talk about it." He was only two steps away now, two measly steps between him and the stove.
"That's the problem sir. We've run out of coffee. Someone drank the last of the stuff London sent us, and we aren't due for more until the end of the week."
Hogan didn't respond for a second, the prospect of facing the world without coffee was too awful.
"It can't be true." He said after a minute, did you check everywhere? Doesn't someone in another barracks have coffee?"
"They won't share it sir. Say it's our own fault for drinking our coffee too quickly. We're going to have to wait."
Colonel Robert Hogan had been shot down, shot at, beaten up, intimidated by the Gestapo, broken his arm twice, dislocated both shoulders, cut his head open, and sprained an ankle but he had never in his whole life wanted to scream as much as he did in that moment. Suppressing the urge, Hogan, knowing he only had a few moments before the 'lack of coffee' adrenalin wore off and he was back to waking dead about faced back towards his bedroom and marched back towards it.
"Kinch, tell Klink that until he gets us some coffee I'm not coming out of my room."
"What about the mission tonight sir?" asked LeBeau, "It is the only night that we can blow up that train!"
"Tell London the same thing. Papa bear is hibernating until he gets some coffee!"
Can you tell I'm sposed to be studying? This is very poor, and I apologise, but I had to escape history!!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH! Who really cares when Australia federated, I mean c'mon!!!!!!!! It's ok, I'm calm now.