Rating:PG-13
Chapter 10 - Behind the lines
November 2004, Colorado Springs
"So how is my favorite patient?", Daniel dropped in the hospital room, holding a beautiful bouquet of red roses and a package of white chocolate.
"Ready to leave.", Buffy blurted out, not giving her doctor the chance to answer. She had to spend only two days a week in the clinic, which she considered 48 hours more then necessary. The SGC kept controlling the condition of all refugees though most of them healed during the first week after they escaped Apophis and Buffy hated hospitals. That was one of the few things she was sure about from her previous life.
"Could you please keep her from jumping out of the window or another hazardous attempt to escape until I return with the test results?", the doctor asked Daniel with a pleading expression, causing the archaeologist had to try very hard to maintain a straight face. Fortunately the doctor soon left so the muscles on his face got a chance to relax.
"I'll do my best.", Daniel smiled, hearing Buffy chuckle. "Can't promise it will be enough though."
"Presents!", Buffy noticed Daniel's package. "And flowers?", she arched her eyebrow in confusion. "That's new."
"Actually the roses are from Teal'c.", Daniel explained, putting the bouquet into a vase and filling it with water. "Two days ago Jack informed him that every one in a hospital was supposed to get presents, for example flowers and because he's Teal'c, he took it very seriously so now each member of SGC who knows him and has been wounded since Teal'c joined our operation received a bunch of roses. I have no idea where he got so many of them."
"At least the base will have some decoration.", Buffy chuckled at the idea of all marines in SGC wielding an M-16 and a red rose. "Remind me to thank him. He didn't change his opinion about the training he promised me, did he?"
"Well. His eyebrow was abnormally high, even for Teal'c, when I told him you want to train and join Bra'tac and his Jaffa, but he agreed. Don't worry, Teal'c isn't the type of person who'd turn you down. You'll even have a great privilege to be called by your first name Joan, because you don't remember your surname. Maybe you noticed Teal'c calls even his best friends by surname or both names."
"It's confusing.", Buffy agreed. "I've noticed he calls your Commander Jack O'Neill, while Sam Carter calls him Sir and you don't bother with the ranks and say just Jack. Can't you guys agree on one way?"
"That's the advantage of not being in the military. They have to use ranks. I don't. And can you explain to me why exactly are you always so eager to leave the clinic?"
"I hate hospitals.", Buffy stated deliberately. "I'm sure one of the reasons is food. I mean have you ever tried to have a lunch here? Potatoes. Every single day.", Buffy made a tormented expression to emphasize her suffering. "If that's the typical food on this planet then I finally understand why you go offworld so often."
"So you succeeded in keeping her within this room.", Buffy's doctor returned with the test results. However his expression was serious and Buffy knew what it meant. "Joan I'm afraid I don't have good news for you. The pictures show no change in your brain activity during the three weeks since you came here. No improvement. It seems whatever damage was done, it's probably permanent. I'm sorry."
Buffy felt suddenly weaker, trembling at the thought she'd never find out who she once was. Daniel wanted to hug her, but her raised arm stopped him. "Nothing at all?", she asked the doctor as a tear escaped the imprisonment of her eye, running down the face that was full of hope and expectation only a minute before.
"There's still a chance your memory loss is psychological origin Joan.", the doctor tried to comfort her. "I know a specialist who might be able to help you. His mane is Dr.Ronald Morganson. He used to work in SGC as Fraiser's assistant and he still cooperates with us very often, even though he left the military. I've already sent to him several refugees who had problems integrating into another society. His office is in St.Paul and I'd like you to visit him. I'm going to send him your file if you agree."
"Sure. And thank you.", Buffy accepted a call card with Morganson's phone number and address. "Can I leave now?"
"Of course.", her doctor nodded and Buffy left the room, with Daniel on her heels. Buffy didn't want to waste more time in the hospital an rushed directly to the main entrance. "Will you take me to SGC?", she asked Daniel when they reached his car, looking impatiently at her watch. "Teal'c is already waiting for me."
"Sure.", Daniel nodded. He wanted to ask if Joan will visit the doctor in St.Paul, but it seemed she wasn't ready to talk about it so he just started the engine and left the hospital's parking lot in silence.
Buffy watched the busy streets they were passing during the way to the base, her mind fixed on what the doctor told her. Go and see a psychiatrist! He could directly say: you're crazy, we better lock you up in a madhouse. The fact I've lost my memory doesn't make me stupid, does it?
"Of course not.", Daniel chuckled, watching Joan quickly cover her mouth. She obviously didn't realize she said the last sentences aloud before his reaction. "And many people visit a psychiatrist, even though they're perfectly sane Joan. Sometimes simple talking helps you to realize a problem you had no idea even existed."
"I know my problem, it's the solution I can't find.", Buffy replied. "You think this guy could help me?"
"It's worth trying.", Daniel brought the car to a stop, showing his and Buffy's identification to the gatekeeper and then drove to his reserved place close to the entrance to the mountain. After another two ID checks they descended to the 15'th floor, where the training area was situated. "I have a meeting with Jack.", Daniel excused himself. "Don't let Teal'c make Fraiser busy."
"I'll do my best to keep all my bones in one.", Buffy laughed. After she changed into a sports bra, a blue track suit and gym shoes, she entered the training room, catching sight of Teal'c sitting on a mat, his legs crossed and eyes closed, one wooden staff weapon next to each of his arms. "Welcome Joan.", he greeted her. "Daniel Jackson told me you want to learn how to fight as a Jaffa. I have to warn you that the art of mastering a staff weapon is very difficult even for a strong man who doesn't carry a symbiont, but I appreciate your will to join our fight against the false gods and I'll be honored to teach you."
"Thank you.", Buffy smiled and accepted one of the wooden staffs. "And thanks for the flowers."
"You're welcome.", Teal'c slightly bowed his head. "Now take the weapon with both hands. I assume you're right-hander so you'll use your right hand as support for the staff and hold it from the bottom in about one third of the length. You'll grip the weapon with your left hand from above, just next to the trigger, so you could push down the trigger with your thumb. Now your hands divided the staff into three parts with same length and the front is as heavy as the bottom, which allows you the best efficiency to move and aim. Now we can try the basic fighting stance. It's displayed on the poster to your left."
Buffy turned to look at the image, but she couldn't see any poster on the wall. Before she realized her mistake Teal'c used his staff to trip up her legs and she fell back to the ground, losing her weapon in the process. "Hey!", Buffy wanted to stand up, but the front of Teal'c staff was now right above her nose. "That wasn't fair big guy."
"Correct.", Teal'c nodded, his eyebrow arched as usual and anyone who knew him long enough would recognize he was amused. "Never stop watching your enemy. Never lose your weapon.", he added, offering his hand to help Buffy regain her footing.
"Let's try again.", Buffy suggested, but Teal'c refused. "The point was you didn't expect my attack. Repeating it now would be useless. We'll try the basic fighting stance now. It's very simple. Your right leg is in the front, the knees slightly bend. Place the upper half of your right arm to your torso, then the weapon will be easier to wield, the forearm is horizontal and has to be turned approximately 70 degrees compared to the staff. Your left hand should be close to your body as well, because it gives you better control and finesse."
"What about shooting?", Buffy wondered. "Will you lend me a real staff?"
"Later.", Teal'c agreed. "At first you have to learn with this one. When you shoot at close distance you can use the basic fighting stance, however at longer distances it's difficult and only a very skilled warrior can hit the target from this stance. Can you close each of your eyes separately?"
"Only the left one.", Buffy admitted after several attempts to close her right eye and keep the left open.
"Then you'll have to change the hold for a better aim and use the left hand as support when you fire at longer distances. Place the staff into the height of you shoulders, rest your head on the middle, and put your right forearm alongside the weapon so that the your fingers, right eye and the barrel build a line. The upper half of your left arm shouldn't be to far from your torso, because it's easier to keep the weapon steady in this position."
"Cool.", Buffy tried aiming at various objects in the gym. "Can't wait to try blasting away a Jaffa with it. I meant of course an enemy Jaffa.", she added when she noticed the upward movement of Teal'c eyebrow. "What's next?"
"Standard attack. It has four steps and starts in the basic fighting stance I already showed you. First part is a horizontal blow where you move simultaneously forward your left leg and arm, hitting the enemy with the bottom part of your staff." Teal'c advised her and Buffy repeated his actions. "Second move is attack from above, this time you rotate the staff vertically, advancing with your right leg and arm. Now your left forearm is between your chest and stomach, while your right is alongside the staff. The other half of the four is almost the same, only this time you have the staff on your right side. So as third comes horizontal attack with moving your left forward and then vertical with your right. If you do it correctly, you end in the same position you were before the complete attack. Of course you can try the same movements backwards as well."
"You learn very fast Joan.", Teal'c noted when he noticed Buffy followed his instructions without any problems.
"It's fun.", Buffy smiled at the compliment. "Who knows, maybe I used to handle a staff before. Let's try something more complicated..."
Next Day, St.Paul
Buffy left the taxi that brought her to the skyscraper in St.Paul where Dr.Morganson's office was situated, once inside she asked the reception clerk where she could find the renown psychologist and headed to the given direction. She wished Daniel or Teal'c could accompany her, yet SG-1 was leaving to a PX-something the very same day and Daniel could only escort her to the airport. The doctor's assistant welcomed her with a comforting smile that made Buffy feel a little more safe though she still had doubts the therapy could help her.
"Joan, welcome to St.Paul.", a man in his late forties greeted her, shaking her hand, giving her a sincere smile. Buffy fetched a sight of relief when she studied his appearance which was the exact opposite of what she expected. He seemed to be a friendly and honest person who really cared for his patients and wasn't interested just in transferring as much as possible from their bank accounts to his own.
"Please sit down. My assistant can make you a tea if you want.", Morganson offered. "I hope you didn't have problems during the trip, considering you come from ... abroad.", he quickly added when he realized his secretary might hear him.
"The trip was actually quite fascinating.", Buffy smiled, remembering her first flight and the drive trough the city. "I've never seen so many people and such buildings in my whole life. At least I think I haven't."
"Well that's what I'm here for, isn't it?", the doctor closed the door leading to his office, accepting a cup of tea from his secretary and locked it to make sure she couldn't overhear the conversation. "Can you tell me the last image or feeling you remember from your life before SG-1 saved you?"
"Nothing at all.", Buffy admitted. "I'm not even sure Joan is my real name. I had a strange dream though where a man wanted to explain me why I don't remember. It was weird, only my imagination I guess, considering that what I saw is impossible. Creatures. Monsters. The guy was even talking about a place called the Hellmouth."
"Interesting.", the doctor nodded thoughtfully, making a few notes. "However seeing creatures in our dreams is common. They're metaphors and often represent fear from our real life, from the people we're afraid of, in spite of the fact we don't realize or aren't ready to accept we fear them. Tell me more about the man talking with you."
"He seemed familiar.", Buffy took a sip of the chamomile tea, recalling Angel in her dream. "Handsome in the 'makes all my skin tingle' kind of way, at least until his face changed, then he got really mean and what he said was evil. Does it help?"
"Maybe.", Morganson replied, taking a small golden watch out of his pocket. "Joan I think your subconscious might be blocking your memories, because of some stressing event in your past. I'd like to try hypnotherapy which can reveal the problem. You don't have to worry, this method is used often and proves to be really helpful."
"Ok.", Buffy shrugged, "What do I have to do?"
"Just relax and concentrate on this watch.", he advised her and Buffy leaned back in the armchair. "All you can see is the watch I'm holding.", Buffy heard him whisper and focused on small object dangling in front of her eyes, feeling suddenly tired. "Your legs and arms are getting heavier, you can't keep your eyelids open anymore." Buffy obeyed and slowly closed her eyes, dozing off.
"Finally. I wondered how long I'll have to carry on this crap.", Morganson watched Buffy fall asleep and after he was absolutely sure the drug in her tea worked, he took out his cell phone and dialed. "Morganson. Yes, she is here. She has no idea.", he answered the questions of his superior. "I understand. We'll take her to the labs."
Two men entered the office and even though they wore civilian clothes, a good observer would immediately recognize they belonged to the military from the way they moved and behaved. Without a single word they picked Buffy up and carried her away to a van prepared near the rear entrance into the skyscraper.
Doctor Morganson sat down behind his desk, deciding he could finish some paper work before Buffy will be brought back. He wasn't sure how long the procedure would take this time, but it lasted always at least several hours with the other refugees. He called his assistant to cancel the rest of his meetings for that day and waited.
After exactly five hours the same men who kidnapped Buffy brought her back and laid her on the same armchair where she fell asleep. The men left the office in silence, it wasn't necessary to tell Morganson what he was supposed to do, because Buffy was already the fifth subject they used and for the doctor it already became a routine. He knew the drug would ware off in few minutes and prepared to give the same explanation he used with the previous refugees.
Buffy slowly opened her eyes, sitting up, remembering where exactly she was. "This hypno stuff is really cool. I can't recall ever dozing off so fast."
"The method is very effective.", Morganson smiled, "However I'm afraid I ..."
"Can't help you.", Buffy interrupted him with sadness in her eyes. She didn't really expect Morganson will be able to make her remember, but part of her still hoped and now the last possibility was gone. "Thanks for trying though."
"I'm really sorry.", he pretended to care about the blonde woman who put so much trust into his treatment. If she had known what really happened in the last five hours, her behavior would probably make him run for his life.
Buffy said good bye to the psychologist and quickly left the skyscraper, fighting back tears, slowly strolling alone through the street colored by the neon lights of local pubs and crushbars, thinking. After a while when she looked around, watching the busy night life in the city her expression changed. She smiled. Her past was definitely gone, but why was she so worried about it? Whatever she used to be, it could hardly beat the life she had now. She had friends and a chance to start anew and do anything she wanted.
A/N I hoped this filled some gaps in the story and helped the plot. Please review.