AN: In Dante's inferno, the 9th circle of hell is described as a barren icy wasteland reserved for the worst sinners. It's also the home of The Devil, who has three mouths and is trapped in the ice.

Part 5

Buffy threw herself on her bed. Grabbing up a pillow she bit harshly into the material to stifle her screams of incandescent rage. She pounded her fists into the mattress, clawed at the linens as she howled her grief and anger, until her bed was littered with feathers and shredded fabric, and her voice was hoarse and dry. That's when the tears came, tears of loss, of betrayal, of shattered illusions and lost love. Great heaving sobs she couldn't stop. She cried for Faith who was so scared of loosing her first real friend, her champion. She cried for Willow, whose idol had proven so false. She cried for Angel, for all he had endured and the heartbreak he must have suffered. Curling around the tattered remains of her pillow she cried herself into a restless sleep.

Faith double-checked the address she had written down as she looked up at the dilapidated building. Checking once, twice and then a third time she had to conclude that she was in fact in the right place. 'Geeze one step up from alleys and rats, big guy,'

It didn't take her long to find the right door, despite the lack of interior lighting and a smell the threatened to make her vomit all over the worn hallway carpet. There were no numbers as such on the battered door in front of her, it looked as if at one point it was painted white and where the brass numbers, she could see on some of the other doors, had fallen off the vague outline could just about be seen.

Steeling her resolve she raised her hand and knocked. It took a while but eventually, a very groggy looking Angel opened the door.

"Faith."

"Hey, Angel, so was in town thought I might stop by see how you were." Faith internally frowned at herself for babbling. 'God I sound like Willow.'

"I'm not Evil."

Faith stared at him for a second; Buffy had mentioned he was cold, but not 9th circle. She could imagine Buffy took the 'softy softly' approach with her one true love but Faith didn't do soft, or nice or pleasant so she glared.

"Yeah I figured that, what with you being human and" She looked him up and down a moment. "Clearly trying out for the role of Grim in the live action version of Grim and Evil."

The pop culture reference was completely lost on Angel, but he caught she making a jibe at his appearance. Maybe he should have been concerned but he wasn't.

When Angel just looked at her, Faith huffed. "Look, you and me, we gotta talk, so are you gonna invite me in or are am I gonna have to force my way in? Coz I am not having this conversation in a hallway."

"Do you need an invitation?"

"yeah, that was just low. And for the record no, I don't need one, as I said I could just bust my way in there, but I figured I'd go with polite to start."

Sighing, Angel stood back, holding the door open for her to enter. Scanning the interior of Angel's home, Faith thought she'd gone back in time to one of the many apartments she'd lived in over the years. If Angel's state of mind was anything like hers had been at the time; then he was going to need a good smack upside the head, and soon.

"Nice digs" She quipped sarcastically but Angel just ignored her and settled himself on the couch. "You got anything to eat around here?"

Receiving no answer she ventured over to the kitchen half of the main room and started rooting through cupboards. Searching through every square inch of storage space she only found a tin of economy home brand soup, a pack of now very stale bread roles and a jar of Branston Pickle.

"Ok, I know you're new at the human thing, but you do remember we eat right?" Faith shouted to Angel as she searched through the small freezer compartment.

"I was going to go to the store earlier, but for some reason I got distracted." Angel sniped back, the barest hint of annoyance in his voice. The day had been trying, His chest still hurt from earlier and he was exhausted.

Faith caught it and latched on. "Check that out, was that actual feeling in that comment?"

Angel merely grunted in response. Finally giving up on her food hunt she ventured over to where Angel sat and took the same seat Buffy had earlier.

"Was there a reason you stopped by?"

"Yeah, my reason is you."

"Really."

"Yeah really, what the hell is your problem? You become human, and lets forget for second the whole not telling anybody thing and concentrate on the big issue at hand."

"And that would be?"

"Your heart, asshole. Oh yeah Gunn told us all about it, not that we wouldn't have guessed you were ill by the state of you. What the hell are you playing, not getting yourself seen to?"

"That's not your business."

"The hell it isn't!! You know last I checked we were friends, and you know what, even if we weren't I'm making this my business."

Rather unsteadily Angel rose from the couch.

"I think you should leave."

Angel was about to head to the door to emphasise his point when Faith jumped up and got in his face. She could see cracks appearing in his stony façade and wasn't about to let the opportunity pass her by. She didn't think it was an act, that he was being so cold to snub them, no, she thought it went deeper than that, that he'd forgotten, forgotten how to feel, how to care. So she was going to remind him and why not start with the two emotions they knew best? Anger and Guilt.

"No, you don't get to do that, and you know why? Coz you wouldn't let me do it. You saved my life by not letting me push you away, so sure as hell I ain't gonna let you push me away. Not now. So..." Before Angel could blink Faith shoved him back, not hard enough to hurt but hard enough to topple him back onto the couch. "You're gonna sit there, your gonna shut up and your gonna listen."

When Angel opened his mouth to respond she glared. "Shut up"

She waited a moment to see if he would try and speak again, when he didn't just looked up at her impassively she continued.

"Ok, so... WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! You get given this reward, and then you waist it sitting on your ass in some flea infested shit hole, for what? Is this some martyr thing? Is your 'woe is me, I must suffer' complex working on over drive now?"

Angel looked at her startled, he hadn't expected that outburst and he was in for a lot more by the look of things. Oh yeah Faith was just warming up.

"Maybe it isn't, maybe you just thought, hey, I liked being a vampire and now I'm just a measly little mortal and I soooo feel sorry for myself. That closer to the mark?"

"No? OK how about this; you get turned human and thought hey look dodgy heart, easy out. Couple of years of discomfort and then blissful oblivion, no guilt, no nightmares, no people you thought of as friends turning round and saying they don't trust you. No watching your true love, loving some-one else. Are we getting closer now?"

As Faith ranted, something began to spark inside of Angel, every word he heard jarring his mind like a train wreck. His expression grew darker and darker until as the last words fell from her lips he leapt from the couch and got right in her face with such speed that she stumbled back slightly.

"YES! Is that what you want hear Faith? Will that make you happy? You want me to tell you that I would rather die here, alone than beg that traitorous bitch and her so called friends for help? That I would rather live out the last few months of my pathetic excuse of a life the way 'I' want to, instead of how everybody else wants? Do you know what this humanity is Faith? Its not a reward, its compulsorily redundancy!!! The powers don't need me any more so they made sure I can't cause them any more grief, got rid of the huge threat to their side by making me human, dressed it up in pretty ribbons and sold it as my redemption!"

Angel took a breath, his face was flushed deep crimson with anger and he was panting hard. Faith looked at him worriedly, she didn't know the specifics of Angel's condition but no one should be that colour. He had just opened his mouth to continue his diatribe when his face crumpled in pain and his knees gave out.

Faith dashed forward and caught the ex-vampire under the arms and helped him back onto the couch, amazed at the feeling of bones beneath her hands. She dropped to her knees beside the couch as Angel wheezed heavily, occasionally letting out stifled groans from between gritted teeth.

"Shit! Angel! Damn it, can I get you something?" She was panicking and she knew it. But in the face of the man she had considered her only friend for a long time; crumpled up in pain, she wasn't sure it wasn't an appropriate reaction.

"m' ok"

"yeah you look it." She sniped sarcastically, "Damn it Angel! Ok I'm calling an ambulance."

"no,"

"No? Are you insane? You're having a heart attack in front of me and you say no?"

Even as she said this she noticed his breathing was easier and the lines of pain on his face were lessening. She watched dumbstruck for a second as he tried to heave himself into a sitting position. Shaking her head, she moved to help him sit up then sat beside him, running her hands soothingly up and down his back. She didn't know if it helped but it made her feel better.

"I'm fine. It was just a stutter, I shouldn't get myself so worked up, I know better."

"This is stupid, you shouldn't have to worry about this at all."

"Its better this way."

"For who? Coz from where I'm standing you ain't getting a lot of benefits."

"I fucked up, Faith." His voice was quiet and lost. "They're all dead, because of me. I got it wrong, they all died and this is why I'm human, why the powers wanted rid of me, I wasn't helping, I was hindering."

"Angel..."

"Let it go, ok?" He closed his eyes and leant tiredly against the back of the couch. He wasn't numb any more, but now his heart hurt, and not just his physical one.

"You know I can't do that. You're probably the only real friend I have, oh I have other friends, but ones who'll stick by me like you have? Not one."

She paused for a moment then had an idea.

"Do you remember our little brain trip last year?"

"Yeah," Angel replied with a slight chuckle, his eyes still closed, god he was tired.

"Do remember what you told me when you were doing the twisted I'm fighting myself routine?"

Opening one eye slightly, he looked at the brunette slayer out of the corner of his eye suspiciously, but didn't speak.

"You told me our time was never up, that we pay for every thing."

Angel mulled it over silently for a while. He had said that, and it was true. Faith had been dying, and he'd told her to keep fighting and she had. She could have just slipped away, but she came back and was now fighting harder than ever. The symmetry was startling, now she was the one telling him not to give up. Could he do it? Could he live? Did he have anything to truly live for?

"It hurts." He said quietly

"I know."

Yes he did, not all his friends had perished in that alley behind the Hyperion. One was some where close by, probably telling some stake happy 17 year old off for going looking for trouble or flirting outrageously with the redheaded cashier at the store around the corner. The other well the other was sat beside him, needing him to keep going. That fact that, out of all the people he'd met (and hadn't killed) in the last 250 years, he had only managed to gain the trust and friendship of these special two would fill him with awe and sadness for a long time to come. He was sure of it. But he would try, for them.

When Buffy woke, she woke calm. The white-hot rage that had overwhelmed her the night before; now simmered patiently at the back of her mind. Her watcher's face appeared in her mind's eye and her jaw clenched, but she ruthlessly pushed it all aside, there would time for that later. Checking the time, she dialled Willow's room.

"'lo?"

"Hey Wills its me."

"Buffy hey, are you ok? I mean you were pretty upset last night."

"I'll live, I'm going to wait a couple of days before facing Giles tho, I think I might kill him if I see him right now."

"Probably wise."

"Look can you come over to my room? I'm gonna call Faith, I think we need to work some things out."

"Give me 15, ok?"

"Thanks."

After finishing her first call, she repeated the process calling Faith. Taking a quick shower and pulling on some clean clothes, she sat back and waited.

Willow was the first to arrive but she was followed not 2 minutes later by the Brunette slayer.

"So B, any reason for the early morning wake up call? Are we going watcher hunting perhaps? It's been far too long since I've had this kind of itch to make someone scream."

Buffy thought she should have been disturbed by Faith's comment, but the thought of making her watcher scream had a certain appeal right now. Glancing at Willow, she thought the redhead might have been sharing her thoughts, judging by her expression at least.

"How does Robin feel about you disappearing all the time like this?" Willow suddenly spoke up.

"He's cool, he knows how much Angel means to me. I talked to him about the shit with Giles, but he wants to be left out of it and I can understand that. Since our long talk about vampires and souls I think he feels bad for what he did to Spike." Faith answered with a non-committal shrug. Her boyfriend was currently sleeping like the dead and snoring loud enough to wake them, so she wasn't too fussed about the early morning meeting, plus she had news for the group.

"I went to see Angel last night." She announced suddenly. Buffy's head shot up, but Faith waved her off, "Easy Blondie, not trying to cosy in on your man, he's too good a friend for that. But we talked."

"And?" Willow and Buffy said in unison.

"And he's agreed to go back into hospital. Just to see if his options have changed, get a check up and shit. He'll decide what to do after that."

Buffy breathed a sigh of relief and shot off the bed where she'd been sitting, to envelope her sister slayer in a hug.

"Thank you."

Faith disentangled herself from the grateful blonde and sat down in a chair by the bed. Willow frowned, deep in thought, there was something that had been playing at the back of her mind since she'd found out Angel was human, she just couldn't seem to pin it down. In a flash it came to her.

"Oh!! He doesn't exist."

"Huh?" the other to said in unison, confused by the strange statement.

"Angel, he doesn't exist. On paper, he has no last name, social security number, personal history..."

"Ok, that's an issue but it's not a problem right, I mean he's coped this long with out one." Buffy said gaining a nod of agreement from Faith.

"How can he go into hospital if he doesn't exist? Sure the first time he was already in the ER right?" the slayers nodded. "So they would have treated him anyway, but if he wants to make an appointment, and he would have to see a specialist, he'd need to exist. Plus he doesn't have any insurance."

"Damn,"

"Well, I might be able to sort something out..." Willow added, with a grin. "I'd need some details from him, but I could hack into the social security database and create an entry and back date it, then work out from there, medical history, personal history, electoral registry."

Buffy and Faith shared a grin. "That's our Willow. Whatever would we do with out her?" Buffy laughed

"There is one problem tho, I won't be able to get him insurance and whatever's wrong with him odds are its gonna cost the earth." Willow said, loathed to break up the happy.

"That's not the only problem." Faith added. "We were right, about Angel believing you all hate him. He's hurt, now I think Red could convince him she's on his side, but he ain't gonna buy it from you B, too much has been said, he's too hurt. I don't know what your hoping, but there's no big Buffy and Angel reunion gonna happen in the near future, he's too messed up for that. Now he's my friend and this is a friendly warning, don't push him, not now."

Buffy looked down sadly and bit her lip. Looking back up she met the brunette's eyes squarely.

"My priority right now is making sure he gets better. I'd never forgive myself if there was something I could do to help him and I didn't do it."

The two shared a long knowing look. They were united in their mission. Save Angel.

"So what now?" Willow asked.

"You and faith head over to Angel's and get the information you need to make his new identity, be back by two if you can." Buffy instructed her best friend.

"What are you gonna do?"

"I need to make a some phone calls and talk to Gunn."

The two girls got up to leave, just before she reached the door, Faith stopped and turned back to Buffy.

"Hey B, why d'ya need us back by two?"

Buffy's face hardened into a cruel smirk, that Willow was sure she'd taken straight from 'the Angelus guide to creeping the hell out of people'.

"Coz after lunch, you, Willow and I, are gonna pay a visit to our favourite watcher."

tbc