When they got back to the apartment, they walked right back to Jess' room. He pulled the key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. He locked it behind them, and then Rory walked ahead of him to sit on his bed. She waited a beat, and then tapped the comforter next to her to gesture for him to sit with her. He came over, and she reached up and kissed him. He closed his eyes and relaxed into her, something she almost never felt from him. He was always guarded, even with his kisses, but here he let go, inhaled her sweet scent, pulled her so close to him that she thought they might meld together to become one person.

He reached for the hem of her shirt and lifted it a bit so that he could wrap his hands around her back. She had already put her hands all the way up the back of his shirt, massaging his back muscles with her fingertips.

Jess pulled the hem of her shirt up and over her head, causing a brief hiatus of the kissing. She marveled at the way this was so routine for them that it was never awkward. He could always get her shirt off without any effort. One swift movement. Lorelai would be steaming if she knew. She smiled at the thought of Lorelai knowing how easy it was for Jess to remove her shirt. Jess felt the smile in the kiss. Rory pulled Jess' shirt off as well, and he gently lowered her onto the bed. They kissed like that for a while, and then Jess slowly moved his hand to her belt.



Her voice was timid. Scared. He recoiled immediately, but continued kissing her form where they had left off. Rory, however, pushed him off her. Lightly, nicely, but with force. He sat up and ran his hand through his hair as he usually did when he was frustrated or nervous.

Ror, I'm- I just got caught in the moment.

she said, cutting him off, It's OK.

Jess gave her a look that turned his eyebrow into the question mark that punctuated his unasked question.

I mean... just... Rory reached for the comforter and covered herself. She suddenly felt very exposed.

I want to... play a game, she said.

A game? Jess asked. She could tell that he was confused.

It's this game that girls play at slumber parties. Kind of like truth or dare. We each get to ask each other a revealing question. We take turns. And you have to answer all the questions. We play until... she trailed off, but Jess knew what she meant.

He frowned for a moment. Rory knew that this was hard for him, but she also knew that if she was really going to go through with what she was going to, she needed to know a little bit more. She wasn't sure if he was going to play' or not.

he said, running his hand through his hair three or four times. He backed up so that his back was to the wall. Rory had her back to the backboard of his bed, leaning against his pillow so she could see him in profile if he looked straight ahead, which he didn't. He looked wiith great determination at his fingernails, as if in them was written the mystery of all life.

You can go first, Rory said.

He shook his head. Rory nodded.

she started. She knew what she wanted to ask, but she decided to start smaller and work her way up.

When did you first find out you loved reading? she asked.

Third grade, he answered, without even pausing to think. That was when we had to let Beatrice go. I was really lonely a lot of the time, so I would get on the public bus with my allowance of a dollar fifty and ride it up and down the city, reading on the back bench.

Rory nodded, smiling as she imagined a slightly smaller, surly Jess reading in the back of a public bus.

How about you? When did you find out you loved reading?

Well... I guess it was as soon as I learned how. Five maybe? Six? I don't really know much about little kids or when they learn to read. I just know that we still lived at the inn. When I was really small, I used to ride around with my mom when she did her rounds, but as I got older, that started to get boring and the other maids didn't really like my mom or the fact that she had me, so I would stay in the shed by myself and read books.

She hadn't looked up the whole time she was talking. She was looking at the plaid sheets. She didn't know why this was so hard. How in the world was she supposed to answer the difficult questions when they got to them?

How many girlfriends have you had? she asked, knowing that she was moving them into the sensitive part of the discussion.

Define girlfriend.

Someone you dated for a prolonged period of time.

Five, including you.

She nodded.

Is your mom ever going to actually kill me? he asked.

Rory giggled. No, not unless one day you decide that you aren't going to pour her any coffee.

Duly noted, he said, smiling for the first time since they had started this conversation.

Have you ever done anything... illegal? Rory asked. She cringed, knowing that if she had asked this at any other time, she would have gotten a very unpleasant response. She was hoping that, because he had agreed, he would tell her the truth.

he said. He paused for a moment. I drank. You know that. Did some drugs. A little pot... that's pretty much it. None of the really hard stuff. I shoplifted a few times. On dares. Nothing that expensive. He paused again. The first thing I ever stole was a roll of Lifesavers. I tried to eat one, but I had to spit it out and throw the whole thing away. I never used anything I stole after that. I always threw it away. Or gave it away.

In her head, Rory exhaled, knowing that the worst of it wasn't as bad as she had expected. Or maybe was exactly what she had expected. Either way, she wasn't surprised.

How many times have you had sex? She blurted out.

Jess said, laughing quietly, It's my turn.



Times, or different people? he asked.

People... no, times... both, I guess, she said.

Six people. I'm not really sure how many times. Maybe something in the twenties or thirties?

But, you said you only had five girlfriends, including me.

And Shane and I never slept together.

You... you didn't?

No. By that time, I already knew...

Knew what? she asked.

That it was you.

She scooted over to him and kissed him. She snuggled against his chest.

Now it really is my turn, Jess said. What was the farthest you ever went with Dean?

Rory turned red.

Hey, you have to answer, he said softly.

I guess... let's see... um... I let him touch me. Outside my shirt. That was it.

he said. She could feel him nodding above her head.

Your turn, she said.

I just went.

But I skipped you.

Well I don't have anything else to ask.

Neither do I, she said, looking up at him. She stared into his eyes, trying to tell him what she wanted to say without saying it, but he wasn't going to let her get away that easy.

I'm ready.

Are you sure? he asked, searching her eyes.



He nodded slowly. I... I don't know if I have anything with me.

I'm on the Pill, she said.

he breathed, surprised.

So as long as you don't have...

No, I've always been clean. I promise.

She nodded. Your mom isn't here, is she?

No, they're both working.



You know... you know it might hurt? he asked.

She nodded again. It's OK.

We'll go slow. He was still staring into her eyes, as if he was expecting to see a wave of doubt suddenly pass through them, but there was nothing. He licked his lips and looked one last time. Her eyes were steady.

He inhaled, licked his lips, and leaned in to kiss her, softer than he ever had before. He reached behind her and removed her bra, softly pulling the fabric away from her. She loved the feeling of his skin against hers. They kicked off their shoes and socks as they kissed, another thing that had become an easy habit over time. Rory heard her belt clicking against Jess' as they moved, and she felt the cold metal of it against her stomach.

Jess stopped kissing her and pushed a strand of hair back behind her ear. Then, still staring straight into her eyes, he put one hand on the side of her face and moved the other down to her jeans. Rory could feel her stomach do flips as his hand came into contact with the zipper. He undid the button and zip. She put moved one of her own hands from Jess' back and helped him to ease her jeans down her hips so that only her pale blue underwear was protecting her.

She helped him ease his loose jeans down as well. They didn't even need to undo the snap. Jess smoothed her hair again and kissed her, moving down to her collarbone, kissing down to her stomach and back up again. Her hand moved down to his boxers as if it had a mind of its own. He stopped kissing her for a moment.

You don't have to, he whispered.

I know, she said. She reached for the waistband and pulled his boxers off, pushing them to the side. She didn't really know what she was doing, but she could tell when she did something right by Jess' breaths as he was kissing her. After a little while, he stopped her, gently pushed her hand away. He reached one finger on each side of her underwear and pulled them down, casting them away.

He straddled her, intertwining his fingers in hers, holding her hands down so that he could support his own weight over her.

His eyes asked the question one last time. Are you sure?

She answered the unasked question with a kiss, and with that, Jess lowered himself down onto her, into her, stopping only for a moment as she breathed in quickly. he whispered into her mouth as they kissed. After a few seconds, he pushed all the way into her, and he could feel as she wrapped her legs up around his hips to pull him down even further.

They soon found their rhythm, a slow one at first, gradually increasing in pace. Jess had to hold in, make sure that he didn't come. She fit him perfectly, he could barely hold on, but he knew that he had to make up for the pain that he had caused her in the beginning. He had read that a girl's first time was never good, and he was sure that she had too. He was sure that he could contradict that for her, as long as he held on for a little bit. Just a little bit.

she called out quietly, desperately, gripping his hair with her fingers tight as she came. He let go and called her name into her ear. They lay intertwined together in the sheets as they fell asleep, hands tangled in each others hair.