Chapter Three: At the Crossing Place
By Darkness-Nightfall
Author's Notes:
Hey! Thanks to my poor, lonely reviewers. This chapter is slightly longer, and is hopefully just the pinnacle of this story. We shall see what becomes of it though. Thanks again!
Night time. Glancing at the muggle clock next to my bed, I noticed that it read 9pm. Despite it still being early by my standards, the whole dorm was asleep; no one was even down in the common room.
Grabbing my cloak off the end of my bed, I tiptoed across the room and opened the door, surveying downstairs, to double check that no one was down there. After seeing that there wasn't (one can never be too careful), I headed down the stairs, silently.
Leaving the castle via a window on the first floor, the wind struck me straight away. It was meant to be the end of summer, but it still chilled me to the bone, and I pulled my cloak around me closer.
The grounds were deserted. Everything was in place, despite the rustling of the trees on the edge of the forbidden forest. A lone bird skimmed the water of the lake, but was then swallowed up by the darkness of the night.
The wind settled for a few seconds, but then began knawing at my uncovered face, and crazily blowing my red hair about. I relished it – the wind reminded me of my life flashing by- and how quickly things could change.
I remembered my downhill road of happiness that engulfed me last year. I thought back to my feelings, my hopes and desires, and as I remembered, I watched them crash and burn beneath my heated hat for the world.
In my reminiscing, I didn't notice that I'd walked straight past the trees and had started to walk into the lake. The cool water licked at my toes, it was refreshing, yet painfully beautiful. It chilled me, and I could feel my feet going numb. But it was wonderful; it gave me a new sense of meaning. It's hard to believe water, such a simple creation, can do this- give me such pleasure.
After a few freezing seconds, I backed out of the water, waiting for the circulation to return to my feet. I sat down on the bank of the lake, making an attempt to straighten out the knots in my persistently tangled hair. I looked at my watch- 9:15pm. Where was he? Surely he didn't forget? All the possibilities ran through my head – he'd forgotten, not come on purpose, been caught, had detention...
A rustling in the grass behind me caught me off guard. Turning, I saw a cloaked figure stumble out of the thick grass and off to the trees.
I got up, quite nimbly, and turned on my heel. James was sitting with his back against one of the hundred-year-old trees, and turned around when he saw me coming. I sat across from him, about five feet away, with my back against another tree.
Muttering the spell to light up his wand, he put it in the middle of us, casting a small glow around us. It bathed his handsome face with a golden glow, illuminating his eyes.
"So..." His voice came out of the darkness; I wasn't expecting it quite so soon. I looked down, and picked up a stick to draw some patterns in the untouched dirt next to me.
"Long time no talk," I countered his useless comment, concentrating on drawing in the useless dirt.
"Lils, let it out. Talk to me," It almost sounded like a plea in his voice. I looked up to face his expectant eyes. I sighed deeply.
"Oh James, everything is different now. Petunia is being a downright cow to me. I sent a letter home to wish her happy birthday, and she sent back some nasty reply. I'm sick of it! And I'm sick of her useless fiancé, with up up-the-ass drill company." I wasn't usually one for crude words, but when I'm with James, anything seems appropriate.
He nodded knowingly. " Lily, I really think you should just forget about your sister. I know it sounds harsh, but is she really worth knowing if she's going to treat you like that? She'll never be there for you, whereas the rest of the school, and me, will be. Think about it Lils, for me?"
I gulped back tears and forced a smile at him. We had a 'no contact policy' happening here, it was an unspoken rule. We could offer whatever words of comfort we wanted to each other, but under no circumstances was touching (in any context) allowed. It was just that we didn't want to ruin the friendship.
"I feel so useless, James." I started off again, quietly sobbing with my eyes downcast to the dirt.
"I really do, it's a horrible feeling. I think I do hate myself, and my life. I know I have great friends and all, but sometimes they just aren't enough. Sometimes you need more; sometimes you need yourself to fix your problems. But I can't James. I'm trapped in this stupid place, like I'm at a crossing place. I've got no idea what's going on, I'm floundering and I can't believe I just used that pathetic word." I hiccupped as the tears ran down my face. James's face showed pity for me, really yearning to make me happy. I liked that.
"I feel like I'm surveying the world from a useless vantage point- like I'm in a painted portrait – unable to do anything." I finished off with a slight gurgle.
When I looked up again, I saw James. Never had his face been filled with so much compassion. I thought I saw tears in his eyes that night. For the first time ever. And here I was thinking that James Potter was invincible. Perfect. It turns out; he's just like me- human and full off errors. That's why I love him.