To any of you who are bothering to follow this trifle – I'm just letting it find its own way as a picaresque story without much import. It's my release valve when the principal work gets too dense and troubling. So – enjoy, if you will.
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After
Chapter Two
Later, when they lay happily spent on the fragrant grass, Paine looked up at him and smiled, "Well, so we don't have to be bored all the time. But now, what do we do?"
He rolled off her and stretched languidly, "I usually take a nap, but sleep seems to be another of those luxuries missing from this so-called heaven, like food and drink. I suppose we might stroll over to the waterfall and shower."
"All right, let me pick up my clothes. ... Where are my leggings? They're not here."
"I don't know. I remember swinging them around my head and letting go. They're probably somewhere in some direction – maybe buried in the grass."
"You ass! You threw away my clothes!"
"Why do you want those things anyway? It takes you forever to buckle them on and you'll just have to take them off again. You have your shorts, don't you?"
She looked around, a puzzled frown between her brows. "No, they're gone too and I don't see any of your stuff."
"What!" He awkwardly levered himself upright. "That's enough of this gaming. I don't know what's going on around here but I intend to find out. This is absolutely unacceptable behavior from whoever's in charge."
"Wait a minute; I see something over there." Paine, as white and slim as a young birch in her nakedness, ran lightly across the meadow. "Look what I found!" She came loping back carrying an armful of fabric.
When spread out, the discovery proved to be a scarlet cassock like the ones Nooj had favored for leisure wear on Spira and a black form-fitting dress of a size roughly appropriate to Paine.
"Great Yevon!" she panted as she squeezed into the garment. "I'm going to look like Lulu. How the hell did she ever stand this iron maiden? Talk about unacceptable ..."
"So don't wear it." He was tying the loose laces that crossed his chest. "You look better without a dress anyway."
"Stop leering. And if you intend to get anywhere, you'd better locate your cane."
"It's right here. Apparently the resident deity of this place draws the line at some cruelties." He stood casually watching her finish cramming herself into the costume which did look rather like the sort of thing a Black Mage would have chosen. "How do I look?"
"Like a debauched priest. And I look like a harlot." She set the pace toward the wall of water, her boyish gait slightly hampered by the long skirt.
A pool had formed at the base of the nearest cataract and spread its rainbow bubbles in a constantly renewed display of careless art. Paine kicked the surface, throwing a spray of water that itself cast a greater rainbow. "Did you notice we weren't supplied any footwear?"
"Maybe we're meant to be as naked and unashamed as the primeval couple in the legends and whatever runs this place is easing us into it." His voice was muffled as he tugged the cassock over his head before dropping it and stepping under the softly falling stream. "I hope we'll find these clothes still here when we want them. Come on in, the water's fine."
"You'll have to wait; this thing's harder to get out of than your robe." It was fortunate that she was lithe as a gymnast since that seemed to be the essential requirement for donning and doffing the garment with which she had been supplied.
When she finally joined him under the falls, she turned happily around and around to permit the water to reach all parts of her body. Poking him in the hip beside the sheath connecting the machina leg, she teased, "Aren't you afraid you'll rust?"
"Not as long as I stay active." He grabbed her by the neck and held her under the heaviest flow.
"You bastard! I don't have any gel and now my hair will just flop all over my face."
"Paine, shut up. You're complaining too much. We're stuck here and might as well try to enjoy what we can." He pulled her close for a long embrace which left her breathless and therefore silent. "I like your hair loose and soft; that way it doesn't poke me in the eye." He kissed her again, half in desire and half in relief at having a companion in this unexpectedly irritating supposedly perfect world.
She leaned against him contentedly. If what he had first said was true and the way to escape this plane was to make amends for one's past misdeeds, she vowed not to apologize for anything to anyone at any time. She had no wish to proceed to whatever level might be beyond this; why should she? He was here.
"You've cut your hair." She murmured into his chest.
"Just the very long part. It wasn't necessary anymore after the Unification. There wasn't any reason to wear distinguishing marks after that."
"I thought maybe Blondie talked you into it."
"Paine, you're nattering again." He used the most effective method to distract her.
After a thoroughly satisfying dalliance, they emerged from the shower refreshed and delighted with one another and themselves. For a miracle, their clothes lay where they had been discarded, so it wasn't long before they were on their way again. With unprecedented consideration, Paine moderated her vigorous stride to his limp so they forged a leisurely path through the dense grass of the meadow.
"Where do you want to go?" He asked her. "I know only three places here: the waterfalls, the curtain and the staircase to the old Vegnagun battle field."
"I wasn't noticing much when I got here, just looking for you, but I think I saw a trail leading into a bank of clouds somewhere."
"Could you find it again?"
"Well, no ... I don't think so. It really wasn't an actual trail, more of a thought about a trail." Her voice slowly faded to nothing.
He stopped and looked at her with appalled disbelief. "A thought about a trail? What's that supposed to mean? You never used to make idiotic remarks like that. Did you put that dagger through your brain instead of your heart?"
"No." she responded defensively. "I just don't know how to describe some of the shapes and things that keeping popping up and then disappearing. Let's hear you do any better." He had always been able to make her feel young and stupid.
'Oh, never mind. Let's keep walking and investigate the first solid thing we come across. By the way, have you had any Calls since you got here? Who did you leave behind?"
"No Calls – I didn't leave any close associates behind me. Not like you with Blondie and the boys. I had a fling or two with some people we both know but nothing serious and we parted with no regrets or harsh feelings. No – I'm not expecting anybody to try to reach me here."
"Who did you get mixed up with? Baralai? That puling cotton-headed infant?"
"Do I hear a note of jealously, Mr. Autonomous? I thought you believed in freedom, letting everybody make his own choices. Aren't you the one who bit my head off when I saved your life that time in the desert? 'It's my life; I'll throw it away if I want to.'" She savagely mocked him. "I'm not going to tell you who my lovers were. It's none of your business. As you said in another context: they're alive and I'm dead and that does seem to make a difference."
They walked on in silence for a while, she with her lips tightly shut as though to seal in any secrets that might inadvertently spill out and he with a bemused look on his face and a fiercely churning mind.
Suddenly before them, they could see a field of what seemed to be floating boulders, bouncing weightlessly like so many tethered balloons. From time to time, one or more would waft up into the sky and slowly disappear from sight while another or several would with equal slowness emerge from the pervasive glow above.
"Should we ride one?" Nooj asked in a less than enthusiastic tone.
"Where are they going? Looks like just up and down like those things we rode on the way to Vegnagun." Paine had regained her usual cautious self. Never one to leap without reason, she had always been the sensible counterbalance to her group. "Hey, if you come over here you can look over the edge and there's nothing down there. Just like the last time."
"I think they are the same ones. Maybe they'll take us to the old battleground."
"I thought you saw the stairs."
"I did but the way things shift on this plane – who knows?"
"Let's keep walking; we can always come back. I don't like riding rocks when I can't see where they're taking me." She set the pace again and he limped hastily to catch up.
"Damn these implants anyway. What sort of heaven doesn't do repairs?" he burst out in exasperation.
"I think I have it figured out." Paine spoke almost to herself. "If you're an unbeliever and not religious and don't do all the ceremonial things you're supposed to do, when you die you go to the FarPlane but without privileges. You don't get any of the rewards and have to perform all the obligations. It's a matter of doing the hard part when you're alive or after you're dead. Does that make sense?"
"As much as anything else, I suppose. So you're saying I'm paying for my heathen attitude by not being put back together?"
"More or less. You'll probably get your original body back once you've suffered enough."
"No! I won't accept that! That sort of paltry, vengeful deity is not worth belief much less worship. It's the sort of god that small-minded and vicious humans dream up. I will not accept a god that is smaller than a man! No wonder I never believed in any of them." His voice descended from a shout to a mutter, "They're beneath my contempt."
"Maybe you should start believing – it may not be too late."
"No! I'll stay like I am rather than bend to something as petty as you describe. It's not worth it to sacrifice my intelligence for an arm and a leg." He took a fresh grip on his cane and angrily plunged ahead.
"Do as you like. I give up." She ran a few steps and fell in alongside him.
When at length they came upon the dark presence of the great staircase leading up to the site of their last battle together, they had not spoken for some time and Paine's voice was rough. "Shall we?"
"Let's." He responded with a quick smile and waved her forward.
She was perched on the first landing and he was about to start up the shallow stairs when a small crowd of women came boiling out from the shadowed caves that had formed at the foot of the structure, running, stumbling and waving their arms.
"Nooj! Meyvn! You're finally here. We've been waiting fso long." Like a chorus of Maenads, they threw themselves at him trying to grasp at what they could reach. He flung up his cane in defense but was quickly overcome by their frenzied zeal.
"Get back! What do you want?" he cried as he struggled to keep his balance.
"Meyvn, we want to protect you. We want to take care of you, to serve you." The women wailed in semi-unison as they wound their serpentine arms around whatever part of him was nearest. "We will sacrifice our lives again to keep you safe."
"You're going to suffocate me if you don't stop," he shouted fending off the worshipful bodies that surrounded him. "Paine!"
Paine, who had watched the scene with open and unholy glee, slowly strolled down the staircase. "Need some help, Meyvn? I don't have my sword, Meyvn."
"Just get over here and shove these creatures back." He could not bring himself to lay violent hands on a woman.
Paine waded into the furor and with a few deft slaps, hair pulls and arm twists organized the mob of admirers into a coherent, albeit moaning, mass standing a few paces off from their idol. "They're all yours now, Meyvn. And I mean – yours."
He hesitated for only a moment to glare at her, then - drawing on the experience he had reluctantly gained as the leader of the Youth League - addressed the crowd, telling them of his gratitude for their enthusiastic welcome and directing them to turn their resources to the betterment of their own condition and that of others they encountered on the FarPlane. While they were still in thrall to the sound of his voice, he made his escape up the stairs with Paine at his heels.
They had left the crowd of women far below when he paused to review the current situation with his companion. To his astonishment, he saw she was wearing a pair of yellow high-cut shorts and a green low-cut blouse.
"Where did you get that outfit? I've never seen you in any color other than black before. Been diddling the local deity again?"
"I traded with one of your worshippers before you put her in a trance. I couldn't stand that Lulu dress another minute ." She was smugly aware of how the style if not the color flattered her.
"Good. Maybe now you'll stop complaining."
"No thanks for rescuing you – again?"
He favored her with a quick glance over the tops of his spectacles, "Thank you, Madame Paine."
"Who are those women, anyway?"
"They call themselves the Elite Guard. They formed to protect me when I was headquartered at Mushroom Rock Road. Stop snickering, damn it! I never knew anything about them until after the Vegnagun thing when we were doing all the reorganization and moving to Kilika. I guess the ones back there are the members who died during the skirmishes with New Yevon. Paine, stop laughing!" He turned his back on her and trudged resentfully up the path.
It was no more difficult ascending the wide flat discs of the staircase now than it had been when they had first trod this path. The elevation was not great and the lack of Ferals attacking their flank made the passage remarkably smooth. The higher they went, the darker the surroundings became until they were able to see little except the area immediately surrounding them.
"I don't remember it being this dark." She paused to crane her neck, trying to see how much higher they had to go.
"I do." He answered, "I almost tripped over one of the treads."
"How much farther, do you think?"
"I thought we'd be at the top by now. There were several flights branching off if you recall." He continued to climb and she followed.
"Yes, and I haven't seen them yet. Wonder what's up there now that Vegnagun's been trashed."
"We'll see in a minute." Being nearly a foot taller than Paine, Nooj was able to see the leveling off of the summit before she could. "There's something up there but it's too dark to see what it is yet." He caught her by the forearm as she started to run up the last few steps. "Take it easy; we don't know what's going on in this place. We may not be likely to die again, although I don't discount it, but judging by all the evidence, whoever rules here enjoys nasty jokes. Oh, hell ..." The subliminal Call was tugging at him again. "Stay here; I'll be right back."
"Blondie summoning you to the presence again?" She snorted. "What is it with you and women?"
"Just stay right here. This won't take long." As he approached the curtain that had predictably appeared nearby, he could see her trying to rearrange her breasts more comfortably in the too tight bodice and he smiled.
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