Note to those who have indicated a level of discomfort with my depiction of Baralai: Remember, this is after the episode with Vegnagun and the possession of Baralai by Shuyin. I see him (Baralai) as having settled into his position as Praetor and having become somewhat inflated by the office. Unrelenting admiration can do that to a person. Congruent with this loss of self-criticism, I think he might have become delusional about the possibility of restoring his relationship with Paine, convincing himself that it was far more than a passing affair of their youth. Please note that this is only my personal fancy; it is not that of Square who owns the franchise which I have borrowed for a little time.
A/N: I apologize for the earlier version of this chapter. The revised one is at least a little better – I hope.
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After
Chapter VIII
"Paine! Are you all right?"
"I'm here and no damage. Did you lose your cane?"
"No. Somehow both it and my spectacles stayed with me. Where are you?" The endlessly plunging torrent had trapped him in an alcove just big enough for a single body.
"Here." A slim arm in a black sleeve poked through the curtain of water like a disembodied limb which by all rights should have been clutching a sword. He gripped the hand and pulled. Paine shot through the flow and plastered herself to his chest with a wet slap.
"Well, here we are but where's Lenne?"
He clutched her like a talisman. "We must be at the foot of those damned falls and she's certainly here as well. There's nowhere else for her to go. Are you hurt, bruised?"
"No. I'm fine, just soaked. Let's get out of this place and see if we're where you expected us to end up."
They pushed their way out of the sheltering depression, through the cascading water and found themselves standing ankle deep in a sandy-bottomed pool, one constantly roiled by the flood pouring in and out of its basin. Not a dozen steps away was the familiar meadow stretching to the extent of their vision, fading into the shadows of the far distance.
"I was right, for what good that's done us. It was a shortcut. Now, where's that woman?" Nooj waded ashore, cursing at the fabric clinging to his legs and hindering his movements.
"Maybe we should take these things off and look around for some fresh ones." Paine suggested as she bent to wring out her equally soaked skirts. "Hey, look! There's Lenne."
Not far from the shore sat the object of their concern. She seemed to be perfectly dry and had assumed the exact pose she had affected at the top of the falls, costume spread about her, head lowered so that her long hair screened her face, modesty in every line.
Paine loped over to her, leaving Nooj to follow at whatever speed he could manage. "Lenne, you all right? How did you get dry so fast?"
The delicate face turned up, "What do you mean – dry? I've always been dry. Why are you so wet? Don't you know enough not to go in the water with your clothes on?" The piercing note had returned to her speech.
"Lower your voice, please. Do you remember us?" Paine made a gesture that included both herself and Nooj.
"Oh! Sorry. Is this better? Of course, I remember you. You're the ones who are going to take me back to my Shuyin, the most awesome man in the world. Well – let's go." She got to her feet and stood waiting. "What took you so long?"
Nooj muttered between clenched teeth, "We were delayed."
They had walked only a short distance when he turned again to Paine and admitted, "I think you had the right idea back there. We can't make any progress weighed down like this in these sopping clothes. Let's take them off – if no fresh ones are supplied, we'll be better off naked." Matching the deed to the word, he began struggling with the wet cords across his chest and shortly pulled the garment over his head and dropped it on the grass. Picking up his cane again, he set off like the intrepid commander he had been in life, garbed only in his assumption of authority.
Laughing helplessly, Paine disrobed as well and exulted in the freedom afforded her legs as she cavorted like a misplaced dryad, dancing among the little pastel flowers. "I could learn to enjoy this. Who needs clothes anyway?"
She was immediately answered by the outraged Lenne who, turning her head and spotting them, crouched down shielding her eyes and shrieking for them to cover themselves.
"What's the matter, Lenne? Why should you care?" Paine pirouetted over, "And do modulate your voice – you're hurting Nooj's ears."
"I'm sorry. You've got to wear clothes. It's not decent to go ... like you are."
Nooj snorted, "See. Another one of those benighted believers. Their god created these bodies (well, he had some help from the Al Bhed with mine) and the hysterical little ninny thinks they're somehow an affront to him. Not one of these idiots has a logical notion floating around in what passes amongst them for a brain. If nudity is wrong then why do all the creation myths insist that the first humans walked the earth naked and unashamed? I often think that religion is the greatest evil ever perpetrated against the intelligence of innocent people." He struck an oratorical pose, left forefinger raised to emphasize his point, his loose lock of long hair thrown back as he tossed his head.
Paine stifled a giggle with her hand. "I have to admit there's something awfully funny about watching you proclaim theology standing there naked as a finger, wearing only spectacles and flourishing that cane." Overcome by the incongruity, she collapsed with laughter, rolling across the fragrant meadow.
"Stand up, woman, and look to your right. If I'm not mistaken, and I rarely am, there's a bundle of fabric over there."
Once again, the wardrobe department had come through. The pair donned the fresh dry garments with a sense of relief on the part of Nooj who cherished his dignity, and an air of resignation from Paine who had relished her liberation. With Lenne thus appeased, they began their trek once more.
"We should be getting close to the place of floating rocks," Paine remarked after a while.
"We should ... Uh, damn. You'll have to sit on the Squealer Monkey while I answer this Call." Nooj was already heading for the curtain which had manifested itself a few paces off.
"Baralai again? If it's him, kick him if you can." Paine moved to intercept the woman in blue and distract her. "We'll be right here."
It was a lengthy wait before Nooj re-emerged into the FarPlane proper to find his traveling companions seated together on the grass, weaving wreaths from the little flowers. Lenne was almost obscured by the number of floral garlands that decorated her. Paine had been anxiously scanning the area and upon seeing him come through the fragmenting curtain, threw down her crude half-completed creation and leapt toward him, only just restraining herself from flinging her arms around his neck.
"Was it Baralai? What did he want?"
"It was LeBlanc. My sons are born and safely deposited in their crèche with my people. That means we have been dead more than ten months according to time in the other world and ... oh, I'm free of LeBlanc. She's decided she has spent enough of her time on my needs and wants and wishes to go her own way now. She explained in great detail and with excessive delicacy that she now feels her life lies among the living and she intends to live for a good long time."
"But I thought she wanted to bring the boys to meet you."
"That was then; this is now. I must confess I'm relieved she's made this decision. I had fears she would balk at turning the boys over to my people as she promised. The whole point of her pregnancy was to preserve my genes and make sure the carriers were reared as I was. It's a matter of some importance among us. And, yes, LeBlanc did mention something about going to Bevelle for a sort of breather, so maybe Baralai has beckoned and we're both rid of our pursuers. I didn't pay much attention to anything she said after she gently broke the news that she no longer cared to hasten to my arms. I shouldn't feel this way but I'm glad she decided as she did. Now, much of the guilt I deviled myself with is gone." He lifted Paine off her feet in a exultant embrace and promptly lost his balance. They both fell to the ground in a tangled heap.
Nooj, his face flaming, struggled to right himself. "Damn, damn damn! I'll never learn. I overestimate my abilities on this side of the barrier. I keep thinking I'm intact, forgetting I'm a cripple. I should know better by now."
Paine playfully swatted at him, "Don't be a goose. It could happen to anybody. It's not your fault and, anyway, we're not hurt."
"Not hurt physically, just made to look like fools. I do apologize. I suppose I have the right to make an ass of myself but certainly none to involve you in my clumsy attempts at bravura." He had regained his feet and shook himself angrily.
"Let it go. So you're free of LeBlanc. She's no longer stalking you?"
"No. Having caught me seems to have satisfied her need to pursue, like the cat who's had her mouse. But we must not forget that this was no one-sided thing. She wanted my body – for some reason I never quite understood – and I needed her to perpetuate my blood-line. The liaison served us both very well and there are no recriminations. She has and always will have my gratitude."
Paine pouted, "I would have done it if you had asked."
"But I didn't ask and so I didn't know. What's done is done. Let's proceed from here. As you said – let it go. This is no part of what is between us, not now, not ever." He looked gravely into her eyes.
Tearing her eyes away from his, Paine turned to face Lenne who expressed her opinion of their behavior with a sniff and a fastidious gathering of her skirts about her as though to prevent a contaminating touch.
"Well, if you're quite finished with your own personal affairs, shall we be on our way?" She lowered the just completed lei over her head and sprang up, looking rather like an ambulatory flower cart, and went skipping off over the grass.
The lovers exchanged a knowing look and made heroic efforts to stifle the amusement starting to bubble up in them. Paine managed to keep control of herself and declared forthrightly, "Yes, let's do go on; it won't do to keep Shuyin waiting too much longer."
"Not if he's as frustrated as I am." Lenne announced piercingly.
Paine hastily shepherded the other woman toward the horizon and away from Nooj who was whooping helplessly with laughter.
"Where are those rocks?" Paine had expected them to appear some time ago. They had walked what seemed to be miles since the Call from LeBlanc had occasioned particular rejoicing and a general lessening of tensions.
Lenne trudged along, with the others but not of them, wandering as her feet took her – ahead sometimes, behind at another, now off to the side, then distracted by a particularly vivid flower or an especially supple blade of grass.
This left Nooj and Paine free to meander comfortably at their own pace, conversing idly on any topic that caught their fancy.
Nooj laid an affectionate hand on the back of Paine's neck and observed, "You're not the same person you were when you were alive. Back in the old days, you were a sphinx, silent and mysterious and now ... well, let's say you're pleasantly prolix. Any idea what has happened?"
She grinned sideways at him, "I've changed! What about you? If I didn't talk, you almost never stopped telling us how you lusted after death, how sweet it would be to fade into nothingness. You never smiled and brooded like the villain of a bad play. I couldn't figure out whether you'd always been that way or if you became a Deathseeker after you lost your limbs. I'll speculate about myself if you'll do the same."
"You're suggesting a game of joint confession, then? Why not? I became a Deathseeker after my father died – when I thought it was my fault. That was a long time before Sin broke me; all that did was simply reinforce my decision. I was always something of a loner even when I was very young and never found life to be all that sweet so my path seemed clear. Now, why were you always so silent?"
"Don't laugh." She looked away, unwilling to engage his glance. "It was shyness and insecurity. I was sure you'd find out how stupid I was if I opened my mouth and it got to be a habit that persisted even after we drifted apart."
"You were afraid of me?" He paused and looked at her in disbelief.
"Naturally. I thought you'd throw me over if you found out I wasn't as smart as my silence implied. It's only lately I've discovered what a push-over you are," she rubbed her head against his chest. "So scared of women."
They took the opportunity to assure one another that their admiration was still mutual and became so pre-occupied that they almost forgot about Lenne. It took Paine's intrusively scrupulous conscience to remind them of the problem at hand.
She wound her fingers in his hair and pulled his head up. "Come on, lad. We're about to lose Lenne."
"Would that we could," he sighed softly before returning to what he had been doing.
"Patience, not much longer. She's about out of sight. I'd better catch her up." Paine moved away, efficiently tucking her breast back into her bodice.
"Go ahead. I'll come along at my own speed." He readjusted the lacings of his cassock which had become disarranged.
Suddenly their charge came running back to them, waving her arms. "There's something really funny up here." She squealed, "Come look!"
She seized Paine's wrist and drew her along.
Nooj limped after them as quickly as he could. He could vaguely make out, against the sky ahead, what looked to be enormous balloons bobbing up and down. With a sense of satisfaction, he realized that they had finally arrived at the place of floating rocks, and he was again confirmed in his thinking the plunge over the falls would return them to their starting place.
When he caught up with the women, they were surveying the scene. Lenne had clasped her hands under her chin and was regarding the buoyant boulders with wondering awe; Paine, with her arms folded, watched the phenomena with a jaundiced eye.
She inclined her head toward him as he came up behind her. "Do you still think we can ride these up to where the fake Vegnagun is?"
"I can't be sure – so much has changed. Nothing is as I remembered it from the time Gippal and I were here hunting Baralai. I do remember we rode floating boulders at one point but, frankly, I was still so muddled by the awesome Shuyin's possession of my will ..."
"I remember; you weren't very coherent. 'My body's rigged.' Humph! You really were an ass then." She cocked an eyebrow and continued, "There have been some definite improvements. You're a lot less stubborn nowadays. And a lot more agreeable. Well - want to try? The only way we're really sure of leads past the Elite Guard and I can't see you choosing that route." She smothered the snicker in her voice but could not hide the amusement in her claret eyes.
He glared at her over his spectacles, "Might as well. It would be faster and we'll get the tweety-bird off our hands sooner."
"Oh, come on, she's doing better – when she remembers. I think she's forgotten so much so many times that she doesn't know where she is or what she's doing half the time."
He considered her words seriously, "You know, I think you're right. You've grown wiser since you died. Maybe that's why you're more willing to talk. Do you have any thoughts on why we can still hold the memories of where we've been and what we've done?"
She blushed with pleasure, "No – not unless it's all tied up in the shifting of time. Do you?"
"I think we've not been here long enough. Seems reasonable that we have to experience everything here at least once before we start losing our minds and repeating it all."
"How will we know? Maybe we've already done this, had this discussion, before."
"I'm not sure it matters. But, I do have this feeling that we will know, that we'll have a sense of loss, of displacement."
"I can tell we're not likely to run out of conversation. Well, shall we ride some rocks?"
"By all means. Fetch your fosterling and let's go."
Paine loped over to Lenne and spoke briefly. The woman/girl obediently followed her to a stone that had just descended and was bouncing gently on the ground.
"Come on, Nooj. I think we'd all better ride the same one."
With an arm up from Paine and a timid tug from Lenne, Nooj managed to gain the top of the floater without mishap. He noticed that his cane had dug a flaking hole in the surface.
"I think this is cork, not mineral." He observed.
"It does feel warm for a rock and soft," Paine agreed. "Everybody off!"
Their transport had docked with a much larger counterpart, one that offered a gently undulating surface with lichen-like raised platforms scattered about. It appeared to be composed of the same corky substance as the floating object they had ridden to its level. As they were investigating more closely, a penetrating shriek from their ward drew their attention from their surroundings and to her concerns.
"Shuyin! Shuyin! I'm here!" She made a grab at Paine's sleeve, "Isn't he just the most awesome man you've ever seen?" She pointed a finger at a tiny shape beginning to emerge over the curve of the horizon.
"Why don't you run on ahead and greet him?" Nooj suggested. "You do remember what Paine told you to do?"
"Yes. No. What?"
Paine sighed in resignation. "Throw your arms around his neck and whisper in his ear what you've learned about touching and so forth. Remember, you're frustrated."
"Oh. Right. I really am frustrated. Bye, now." She set off at a surprisingly efficient clip.
"Now can we go?" Nooj asked.
"No. We have to make sure they know what they're doing."
"Madame! I absolutely refuse to play witness to the intimate gropings of that pair of mooncalves. There are some limits to my tolerance, not to mention my digestion."
"Don't be silly. We don't have a digestion any more. I mean we have to make sure they can get back to the meadow; Shuyin obviously lost his way or he wouldn't be here. As soon as we see them on the ground, we're rid of them."
"Do you promise not to pick up any more foundlings?"
"No. I like helping people. I think I see why Yuna is always doing it."
He sank down onto the nearest platform and dropped his head into his hands. "Why wasn't I satisfied with the old indifferent self-contained Paine? Why am I stuck for eternity with the Goddess of Compassion?'
"Hush," she pasted a welcoming expression on her face. "They're nearly here."
"Is he smiling or wretched?" Nooj refused to look up.
"Smiling."
"Thanks for small mercies. She's told him." He painfully pulled himself upright and awaited the long-parted, now united couple.
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