Chapter Four- Celestial Banter

"Women," he sighed.

Estriel and Jenna looked VERY offended.

"Okay, that's it! If you're going to be like THAT, we want a new angel!" cried Jenna, indignantly.

"We do?" whispered Estriel.

"We do," she said firmly.

"Okay, we do," reinforced Es.

Suddenly, another portal appeared.

"Groan," muttered Jenna.

"Deja vu, anyone?" remarked Estriel.

Out stepped another angel, who looked remarkably like Raphael, but with slightly darker hair. "Oh no..." moaned Raphael.

"Why me? Why you? Why me and you together?" Estriel raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe we should leave you two alone..." suggested Jenna.

The darker haired angel laughed. Raphael looked confused, but was still frowning.

"With him? Noooo, you leave that kinda thing to Michael..."

And with that, another portal opened, and out stepped a third angel, who looked roughly the same again, except that this one had blonde hair.

"You rang?" he drawled sarcastically. "Decided to take me up on that offer, Raph?"

"No."

"Raph! Who are your two lady friends?" asked Gabriel, winking at them.

"They are my charges. Not yours. What are you two doing here, anyway? Do you not have work to do?" Estriel was staring at Gabriel, with something which resembled hero-worship on her face.

"He can stay. Thank you for answering my call," she said, timidly.

"It's cool, y'know, so no worries." This phased them further. A celestial rebel?

"Um...If you could just tone the glow down a little, please?" Jenna managed. Es was staring so she kicked her innocently.

"Sure. I'm sorry, I did not mean to startle you."

Es came to and began to talk again. "Hi, I'm Estriel, and this is Jenna..." He smiled flirtatiously at her.

"Nice to make your acquaintance babe... Care to see my pad?" Jenna was having a hard time restraining giggles- a flirtatious celestial 60's reject rebel? Who would have guessed?

Michael was scowling, still hurt from Raphael's blatant rejection. Jenna picked up on the silence of the other angel, and decided to enquire some more.

"Hey, Michael. Can you tell us anything, 'cos nobody else seems to want to!"

"I would be delighted to help, but unfortunately unless I am a guardian angel, I cannot interfere."

"Well, how many guardian angels can you have?" asked Estriel cleverly.

"Well..." thought Michael. "

Technically, only one per party," said Raphael, quickly.

"Hey, man, be cool, you know we're allowed to help if directly asked..." Gabriel intervened on their behalf. Raphael began to look distinctly sulky.

"Ok, thanks Gabe, so erm, Dean sent us down here to you..."

"Dean has better taste than I suspected, Estriel..."

"Um, yes, thanks, so erm, you're supposed to be telling us what to do next and where we are and stuff?"

"Any minute now baby..." Es was getting flustered, and Jenna was restraining laughter at the cheesy and inept come-ons by pressing her hand over her mouth.

"Yep, just answer the question please..."

"Ok, well, you know where you should be, right?"

"No! Please tell us?" Jenna asked anxiously.

"My pad, looking at my bootylicious..."

A huge voice came booming out of nowhere.

"GABRIEL!"

The angel looked sheepishly up at the non-existent ceiling.

"Sorry, lord..."

"HURRY UP. YOU HAVE CHERUB-SITTING DUTY IN TEN MINUTES!"

"Ok, I'll be there soon, sorry..."

The voice seemed to go away, and Gabe waited for a few seconds before bending close to them and whispering-

"You'd think when you get to the rank of Arch-angel you would be able to get out of chores. Uh-huh, no way. Anyway..."

He resumed his powerful stance and said in a loud voice:

"Beautiful mortals, the lord favours you. He is granting you a boon- you may go to the place known as 'Middle Earth' and help save it. Praise be the lord!"

Jenna raised an eyebrow. "Who said we wanted to save Middle Earth? Don't they do it fine by themselves?"

Gabe sighed. "I knew it- I knew you'd be the difficult one. Let's go deeper into this, then, okay? Basically, the world you know now evolved from the world you must help save. However, the lord has decided that the world you come from is so- well, my words not his, but completely rubbish and dirty- that he's giving you mortals another chance. If – and only if- you return in time to when the Quest for Middle Earth begins, and help save it, you will change much of the future of your own world. For example, men will have more elvish blood in them, and therefore be kinder etc. Get it?"

Jenna said faintly, "I need to sit down."

Gabe waved a hand, and they were in a large room with about ten red and white cushioned chairs.

"Thanks," she whispered, and collapsed on one.

Because the chairs were so large, Estriel sat next to her. Both girls knew what the other was thinking. It went something like this:

"I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming (they both pinched themselves simultaneously) I'm not dreaming, I'm not dreaming – ow, that actually quite hurt – I'm not dreaming..."

It was far too early for either of them to process the fact that they were in LIMBO talking to ANGELS after a PORTAL had appeared in their bathroom, let alone that they were going to go to MIDDLE EARTH, which was actually just regular earth, but a long time ago, on a kind of MISSION... The girls' heads were swimming in an overload of information.

The three angels shared a look of concern. Maybe entrusting two young girls (they were nineteen, but to the angels, more like infants, no, make that embryos) on this mission was not a good idea. And yet, it was clear that the responsibility had to fall to them, and that if they could not do it, no one could. The angels shared another look, this time of determination. If Estriel and Jenna had to do this, they were going to help them.

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