A/N: I have raised the rating to 'R' for obvious reasons.
This chapter contains a little tip of my hat to Avelera, who has breathed fresh life into Auron (a neat trick). I hope she will forgive me for hi-jacking her hero for my purposes. I shall try to return him intact and unharmed.
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After
Chapter XAfter the telling (and carefully censored) retelling of the visit with Gippal, Nooj waited for a response from Paine. She was silent, resting heavily across his chest.
"Paine," he called softly but she was asleep. They seemed to be permitted to actually sleep all of a sudden and she was catching up on what she had missed during their early days on this Plane. He smiled indulgently and let his own consciousness drift away. It was pleasant lying on the lightly scented grass of the meadow, surrounded by the fresh breezes and the drifting clouds in the greenish sky. One might almost think ...
He was awakened abruptly by an elbow in his diaphragm. Paine had shot up into a seated position and was digging a finger into her ear.
"Ugh! Never ignore a Call! The itch keeps getting worse until you can't bear it. See you later." She jumped to her feet and ran towards the undulating curtain behind them.
Beyond the curtain and past the swirling colors of the column, in the appointed place, Yuna was waiting, her placidly sweet face composed into a mask of tolerant kindness. "Hello, Paine, how are you feeling?"
"Uh, hi. I'm fine – considering I've been dead for ... how long is it now?"
"Not long. I meant to come before but ... Are you settling in all right?" Yuna's voice was its usual soothing monotone.
"Yeah. It's all right. What can I do for you?" Paine had never had much patience with the former Summoner and her gently devious ways. Besides, small talk was not her forte.
The woman on the other side of the shimmering table smiled, a very accepting and ineffably kind smile. "I just wanted to check and make sure you were all right. Are you happy?"
"Yuna, what's this all about? Yes, I'm fine and I'm happy. I'm with Nooj and we've picked up where we left off and we're enjoying the hell out of each other."
Yuna slowly turned cerise. "Paine! Don't talk like that. You're in a holy place now and I'm sure you don't mean what you implied." She shook an admonitory finger.
"Have you been talking to Baralai and listening to all his babble about only platonic relationships on the FarPlane and the rest of his nonsense?"
"Now, don't be like that. Baralai's a priest and he knows about all this. If he doesn't know what it's like on the FarPlane, who does?"
Paine snickered despite herself, "One who's living here – that's who. Yuna, I'm not lying or trying to shock you. Nooj and I are together here and we're happy. So tell Baralai to quit sending everybody he can think of to bother us and try to make me feel guilty. I'm not leaving Nooj and he's staying with me. That's that!" She folded her arms and glared with her glittering crimson eyes in a way that was familiar to Yuna from their sphere hunting days.
"Well, if you're sure that's how you want it. Have you forgotten he's a married man and about to become a father – several times over?"
"It's just twins, not a litter, and he never married Blondie. When are the pups due, anyway?"
Yuna blushed painfully again. "Language, Paine, language! LeBlanc is expecting her blessings in about a month, I think. Are you sure he never married her?"
"Not formally. She preferred to make sure her fortune stayed in her own hands and nobody else could make any sort of claim against it. And I know as soon as she's had the boys, she'll drop Nooj and run after somebody alive. Just watch."
"Oh, that seems unlikely. She loves him so deeply."
"Just watch. Now what did Baralai want you to tell me? ... Don't pretend; I know he's behind this visit. And hurry up. I have some unfinished business with Nooj."
"All right," if Yuna could have turned redder, she would have melted the table between them. "He wants you to maintain your purity until he comes to your side and can claim you for his Eternal Bride. He knows you are a strong woman but he fears that Nooj, in his arrogant and rampant masculinity, will ravish you and you will be left helpless and alone and ... well ... ravished." She finished lamely.
"So, I'm requested to remain helpless and alone until he gets around to dying and comes to ravish me himself – with the blessings of the Church, of course? Tell him 'no thanks'. I respectfully decline his generous offer and beg to remind him that Nooj was my first choice, long before he entered the game and I don't care to consider another change. Thanks for coming, Yuna, now – goodbye." Paine slid back the chair and rose.
"Wait! Would Rikku be any more persuasive?" Yuna asked plaintively.
"Good God, no! If she shows up, I'll walk, no, run out as soon as I see her. Goodbye, Yuna." A truly horrifying thought brought her to a stop. "If Baralai even thinks of sending Brother, I'll manage someway to disappear them both. I'm not kidding. No more. I've had enough of this stupidity. No more, I mean it." She almost sprinted from the room.
"How about Buddy? Or ..."
The cloyingly sweet tones followed as Paine dived through the aurora.
"Hold me, Nooj!" She threw herself atop the reclining man.
He agreeably closed his arms around her. "As you once asked me in a similar situation, 'That bad?'"
"Worse. It was Yuna and she was fronting for Baralai with the same old crap ... And time's all screwed up again. And I'm fed up with all this ..." She clutched him and buried her face in his neck. "Just hold on to me and don't let them get me."
"Poor Paine," he stroked her back soothingly. "Fought over on two worlds. How does it feel to be so desired?"
"You ought to know. You with your Blondie and a whole rabid squad of worshippers and – I forgot to tell you – Lenne was wondering if you would service her until she could get her awesome Shuyin up to speed." She lashed back verbally but did not relax her grip.
"What? That screech owl? I'd rather ..."
Then they were laughing together, as the absurdity of the situation struck them simultaneously. Finally, Paine, spread out like a starfish amongst the pale flowers, composed herself and asked, "Do you suppose people on this side of the barrier can have babies or is that a privilege reserved for the living?"
"Are you asking if the dead can produce life?" He raised a quizzical brow.
"You make it sound ridiculous."
"No, I don't. I'm taking your question seriously and the answer is - I don't know. The conventional thought now is life comes only from life but not so long ago there was a theory that held life arose from the processes of decay."
Paine glared and wrinkled her nose. "We're not exactly decaying, you know."
"I know. I was making the point that there have been various beliefs about creation over time and, while one may hold sway now, there's no proof and I know both too much and not enough to give you a definite answer.
She was not satisfied, "What does your instinct say?"
He almost shouted, "What? You want the answer to a serious question to be based on a gut reaction or a matter of unsupported faith? Come on, Paine, you're not that dishonest or stupid." His anger was only half feigned.
They walked on unspeaking for a while, the woman pouting, the man pre-occupied. Finally, Nooj broke the silence.
"I'm almost certain procreation is not possible here but since I've been wrong about so much already, I'm prepared to learn otherwise."
Paine stopped and faced him, "Are you? Really?"
With a suddenness which took her off guard, Nooj drew her into a mockingly passionate embrace. "Do you want to try?" A sardonic amusement colored his voice.
"Not yet. I just want to know if it's possible. Do you suppose I might already be pregnant if it's ..." She wriggled out of his arms.
"No. Not possible. I've taken care of that." He assured her.
"You? How?"
Nooj stared at her with an astonished expression, "You really don't know? I thought you understood that men of my people can choose when and if to beget children. Do you want to know the details?"
Paine turned a becoming pink. "No, thank you. I didn't know but I'll take your word. Does that mean that Blondie and the boys weren't an accident."
No, quite deliberate. I had to preserve my blood-line, you know."
"Of course. ... Nooj, we need to find somebody who can answer some serious questions. We can't just keep wandering around having fun."
"I don't know why not." He shrugged, "But if you wish ... who did Lenne find?"
"She never said precisely." Paine spread her hands in defeat. "I guess we keep on looking."
He tugged playfully at her mussed hair. "It's not that much of a burden. Ready to head for the forest?"
The distance to the jeweled forest seemed further than it had been the first time they had passed that way. But, then again, all the distances seemed longer. Nooj wondered if they had begun to be affected by the time and memory lapses which apparently beset every sentient being on this level. Maybe they should do as Olefer had done and progress onward - if they could find a door. It had been some time since they had met any other entity so perhaps their obligations here had been discharged.
"Are you enjoying your shoes?" He asked Paine who was walking quietly at his side.
"Oh, ... yes, they're a help," she responded absently. "I don't want to sound all optimistic, but I think I see something new ahead – just there – a little blip on the horizon. Can you see it?"
"Not yet. Your vision is better than mine. What do you think it is?"
"Can't tell yet but it's no forest and no staircase and no rocks." She shaded her eyes with her hand and squinted. "No use – it's too far away. Let's keep walking."
Soon, even Nooj could make out the shape ahead. It looked to be another human, an indistinct figure in a garment the color of his own cassock, moving with a flowing stride at an angle which must intersect their path if neither of them altered direction.
"Man or woman?" he asked Paine.
"Still can't see any details. Keep walking."
"You want to run on ahead? You're much faster than I am."
"No. I think we're meant to meet whatever this is and I'll stay with you." She caught his hand in hers, interlacing their fingers.
Step by step, the walkers neared one another. When they were within hailing distance, all three paused. Nooj and Paine saw before them a tall man, almost as tall as Nooj, with a well worn red overcoat drawn over his shoulders and supporting his left arm in a sort of makeshift sling. The collar of the coat was turned up, as was the custom on much of Spira, concealing the lower part of his face and his eyes were hidden behind wire-rimmed dark spectacles. After a few minutes' scrutiny, the stranger spoke in a pleasant baritone voice.
"Greetings, I am Auron."
"Sir Auron." Nooj felt a sense of awe before the legendary hero and, without conscious volition, bowed. "I am Nooj, late of the Crusaders and this is Paine, a former companion to Yuna, the Summoner."
"Yes. I thought it must be you two. I was looking for you." He smiled behind his collar. "Pray call me Auron; we don't commonly use titles here."
Paine had retreated a few paces and was looking at the older man, her heart in her crimson eyes.
"Greetings, Paine. I am glad to see you."
"Uh, yes. ... Meet you." The woman was reduced to speechlessness before the almost mythical Warrior.
"Sir,... Auron, why were you hunting us? Has either of us wronged you and do we need to make amends?" Nooj was hesitant. Being in the presence of Auron make him feel very young. It was as if all his years as a Warrior dropped away, leaving him once more the star-struck youth hearing the legends of grand gestes retold around an evening camp fire.
It took him a space of time to recover and reassemble his facade of self-confidence. He was face to face with Auron! Conversing with the myth as though with any common immortal. The situation was too unreal to accept and Nooj feared the pillars of his sanity were beginning to totter.
The old soldier looked carefully at the younger one, "Well, boy, it seems you fared even worse than I did in the wars. We must exchange stories later. ... No, you have done me no wrong. I came to find you for another reason. Here, sit down and let's have a drink."
"Do we drink here?" Paine had edged closer to him and was gazing at him with what could only be worship.
He chuckled, "I pretty much do what I want." He seated himself with unexpected grace, detached the jug from his belt and, with a quick gesture, produced three small glasses. "Try some of this. It'll put hair on your chest."
When the first swallows had been taken and Paine had recovered from what almost became a coughing fit, Auron continued. "I have come to take you to the Department of Resolutions. I'm the Gatekeeper there for this period."
"Gatekeeper? But we can see you," Nooj protested. His world was steadying again.
"Those jokers at the Meeting Curtain, up to their games again? I heard they had decided to be invisible for a while, just to relieve the boredom. No, I don't enjoy that sort of performance; it's hard enough on new-comers without subjecting them to practical jokes. As I was saying, I have come to take you to Resolutions where you can have your questions answered and your complaints adjudicated. Or if you would rather, I can give you a quick run-down right here. It's less stuffy than in the Department."
"Here, please," murmured Paine. By slow increments, she had slid the hand on which she propped herself over to within touching distance of the skirts of his red coat.
Auron had noticed her stealthy motion with a calmly compassionate eye and patted the encroaching hand in what was almost a paternal manner.
She looked at him with all the hopeful fantasy she had conjured during years of longing. Something indefinable passed between them and she leaned back as though an unvoiced question had been answered.
Nooj watched the by-play with a puzzled expression. He vaguely understood what had happened but did not completely grasp the implications. A connection between Auron and Paine had never entered into his consciousness and had played no part in his calculations.
Auron, responding to Paine's words as well as to her unspoken plea, smiled, "Very well. What do you want to know?"
"How long have we been dead?" Nooj was still trying to untangle the skein of time.
"There's no telling. Time doesn't function here. We use the commonly understood terms but they're meaningless as they relate to reality – such as it is. ... Paine, you had a question?" He turned to her.
She had drunk the contents of her glass with injudicious speed and was the slightest bit tipsy. "Auron." It was more an exhalation than a vocalization. "I used to dream about you when I was a child. I liked to pretend that you were my real father. ... I never knew my father." The last five words were whispered to the ground as she twisted her fingers in the grass.
Auron smiled again and patted her shoulder with a gently consoling hand, but said nothing.
There was an awkward silence until Nooj intervened. "Will you tell us why time is so peculiar and how things are done here? After all, you're a priest and should know what's needed."
"Not a priest, a monk. I admit, a distinction without much of a difference. I'll try to explain but it's a long one – I'll just pour another small libation." He refilled the glasses. "Now, let me see. To begin with, you may have noticed that there's really very little to do here. Most people work so hard while they're alive that they can conceive of no greater reward than endless leisure, with everything necessary supplied - even companionship." His nod encompassed the two before him. "Any intelligent and thoughtful entity soon sees that a surfeit of anything, including leisure, is the most direct path to boredom, ennui of a very corrosive type. So ... it was decided that those who came here could have the experience of their imagined Heaven – however they imagined it - until they grew tired of it whereupon they could chose amongst several alternatives. You two are somewhat premature in being told the choices and must understand that knowing them does not dictate that you make a decision at this time." He chuckled behind his collar, "There's that word again."
Paine had drifted off into a light doze after finishing her second glass of the unidentified, but potent, liquor. Nooj pressed on, "What are the choices and how do they relate to time?"
"I'm getting there, boy." Auron refilled his glass and offered the jug to Nooj who shook his head. "When you're tired of what you thought you wanted, you can choose to have your memory erased and start over. It will be just like it was when you first got here. For example, you would have no memory of your adventures with her," he nodded toward the sleeping woman, "although you would still recognize her from your time while alive. You would have the opportunity to repeat exactly what you've done or vary it, depending on the order in which things happened the second time. It's all random, you know. And you can have this memory revision as often as you like. Now, on the other hand, when you have completed your required tasks on this level, you may choose to keep the memories and go on to another plane where different things will happen in different ways. I'm not well versed on this since I've chosen to stay here and keep all my memories."
"This isn't my idea of the FarPlane. How did I get stuck here?"
"I don't entirely understand the reason myself. Your father was here as well, right? And he wasn't a Believer any more than you are? This is the Spiran FarPlane – maybe that explains it. Maybe you and Olefer got swept up and deposited in this place because you were Spirans. That's my best guess."
Nooj nodded in comprehension, "I don't suppose it matters at this point. We're here and there's no returning. ... Tell me, sir, when we choose to go on to another level, will Paine and I be able to go together?"
"I don't know. As I said, I'm no expert on any plane other than this. Maybe yes, maybe no. But back to your basic question. You asked how the unreliability of time fits into this – consider: How can time run precisely when those it affects are continually refreshing their memories and thereby changing the order and continuity of events? Reinforcing the randomness, if you will."
Nooj was silent for a long time, mulling over what the monk had said. He looked down at Paine whose head was pillowed in his lap and considered having to endure eternity without her. Beside the enormity of such a fate, the unsteadiness of time suddenly seemed of little moment.
"Thank you, Auron. You make that very clear. I have only a few more questions."
"Ask away, boy."
"What does the Department of Resolution do?"
"It sorts out all the difficulties you might have here. For instance, if you want your old arm and leg back, that's where you apply. I could get my eye back and my arm fixed, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. Paine can shop for hair gel, if she wants to and new clothes. But she can't have a sword – no weapons allowed." He harumphed. "Whatever else it takes to furnish your idea of Paradise can be applied for at Resolution . Of course, it takes a few millennia for them to get back to you since they've always got a backlog. Not many are willing to work there since this is the Heaven of sluggards. Blame your own ideas of what this place ought to be."
"Not my idea. It's the one all those slack-jawed, knuckle- dragging Believers patched together. I'm puzzled – is the Department of Resolutions another name for the Department of Transitions? I was told ..."
"Have those prankster Gatekeepers at the Curtain been making up names again? It's the Department of Resolutions, although insiders sometimes call it the Department of Resoulutions – it's a pun, get it?"
"I think so. But does the Department – under any name - answer questions? I mean after you've gone about your business, if we think of something else, can we find answers there?" Nooj was regaining his confidence and in no mood for jokes.
"Only if I'm in my office. As well as Gatekeeper, I'm the official Explainer." Auron leaned back on his elbows. "If I judge you correctly, you're a lot like me and would rather find out things on your own."
"Mostly. It was just the time confusion."
"Now that I've straightened that out for you, I'll be on my way. We'll meet again later and have a few drinks while we share war stories and tell each other lies about our adventures. Take care of her." The older man looked affectionately at the still sleeping Paine, "She deliberately left the world she knew to join you here. Be kind to her; she's worth whatever it takes to keep her."
"Is she your kin?" Nooj ventured to ask and received no answer, only the cryptic smile.
Auron attached the jug to the belt at his waist, gathered up the glasses and vanished them with a move Nooj could not follow, and then he was gone, his long strides taking him across the meadow and into the haze of the distance.
Nooj gently nudged Paine off his legs and stretched out beside her, carefully wrapping her in his arms. His eyelids began to droop. The liquor had made him drowsy as well.
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