Watching Her Cry.
He stood outside her window, keys in hand, ready to disappear from her life forever. But he was broken by the view inside. She sat on a box, head in hands, mourning the loss of someone she'd loved. And he'd done that to her. He'd caused the pain displayed in front of him. It would have been easy to go in there, sweep her into his arms and take all that hurt away. But it wasn't what she wanted.
"No!"
That one word had been seared into his memory forever. The glisten in her eyes. The emotion in her voice. If he could turn back time, erase her memory of him, he'd do it. In a heartbeat he'd do it. He'd gladly give up every good thought, memory, vision of her, if it meant he wouldn't have to be standing outside her room, at that moment, watching her cry. Then for an instant he focused on his own pain. Guilt. Fear. Regret. Love. All of which were feelings coursing through his veins.
"…the first time you fall in love, it changes your life forever and no matter how hard you try, the feelin' never goes away."
The excerpt from Nicholas Spark's 'The Notebook,' floated into the forefront of his mind. He'd tried reading it years ago, while figuring out his Literature preferences. That was not one of them. However that one quote had stayed with him. "…the feelin' never goes away." He reverted his eyes back to the girl sitting on the box inside. Still she trembled slightly, head in hands, both tell-tale signs of tears.
He stepped onto the bark garden below the window. Placing a hand on the window, he breathed the words "I love you." Then stepping back, he turned and got into his car.
He turned the key and the engine rumbled into life. He glanced back at the window. The view inside hadn't changed. He longed to wipe away the tears, that were falling for him. He never meant to hurt her. All of the times he had, he regretted. He couldn't right those wrongs, but he might be able to repair this one. Shutting off the engine he got out of his car for the second time. He had every intention of striding straight back to her room, wrapping his arms around her and telling her that everything would be okay. That no matter what she told him, he wouldn't leave without her. And if that meant staying, so be it.
However, he paused at the window and decided against it. He couldn't bear to cause her anymore pain. So he stood, inflicting pain upon himself, watching her cry.