Into The Strait of Insanity
Discliamer - Ch 1.
Notes – All I can say is: This should be fun. And Charlie has uber-cool Uncle-Skills! LOL!
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Into The Strait of Insanity – Ch 5
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Kristina closed the door to her room behind her, but stayed silent.
"Kris....What are you doing?"
"Dragging you into my room so we can talk about Claire without her being here." Kristina said as if this should be very obvious before sitting down on her bed.
Charlie rolled his eyes and lay across the width of the bed on his side in front of her, propped up by one arm, "Kristina....why did you have to be such a romantic?"
"Because it's what God wanted." Kristina nodded, "Anyway--"
"Kris. Honestly. Don't even start."
"Too bad. I'm older and I'm choosing not to listen to your request." Kristina grinned at him and continued with what she was going to say, "How long have you been together?"
"Well, let's see," Charlie started off sarcastically, "I talked to you about it yesterday and we got here today. So, I'd say about a day. Honestly, Krissie, I know math was never your strong suite, but come on..." He teased.
"Oh, shut up, Charlie, You don't even know what you're going on about."
"Maybe I don't, so what?"
Kristina just leaned back against the pillows at the head of the bed and crossed her arms over her chest, giving him a pointed look.
Charlie rolled his eyes, "Fine, whatever. Grill me. There's nothing for me to tell you, anyway."
Kristina scoffed, "Now you went and ruined it for me!"
"What?" Charlie had turned around and was lying on the bed on his back, his head in his sister's lap.
"You told me everything!"
"Isn't that what you wanted?" Charlie asked, looking up at her with a raised eyebrow.
"Well...yeah, but..."
"That's like getting the thing you want most for Christmas and then when you get it, saying, 'Mum? Dad? Why did you get me this? I want a cell phone, not a laptop'."
"Hey," She slapped him, "Shut up!"
"Oh! You did do that, didn't you?" Charlie laughed.
"Charlie, shut up!"
That only made Charlie laugh harder. He had to sit up, though, because his sister was letting him have a whole barrage of slaps.
"All right, all right! I give up! You win! Uh...I dunno what else to say, just stop!" Charlie laughed and clasped her hands together with his.
"Oh! Earlier, when you came in and I was calling you James and whatnot—yeah, I'm married—"
"And all this time I'd thought you'd become a whore and just accidentally ended up with two kids." Charlie laughed.
"Charlie!" Since her hands weren't usable at the moment, she voted for sticking her tongue out at him. "Anyway, James is out on business and I've got a board meeting tomorrow, so, I was wondering if you and Claire might..."
"Watch the kids instead of you having to pay a babysitter, right?"
Kristina nodded. "Yeah..."
"Of course!" Charlie declared. He thought it was great. He would get to play Cool Uncle for awhile.
"Oh, you so rock!"
"Well, that was the plan. Rock God, you know." Charlie grinned.
"Honestly, Charlie, thanks."
"Seriously! I get to be the cool uncle for a day. Not to mention I have fame stories to share."
"Yeah...how about you leave out the horrible drunkenness and drug-doing out until their older. Like.... When they're thirty."
"Right. Well, then, I suppose I could always tell them what it's like being trapped on an island with forty-some-on strangers, then." Charlie grinned.
"Oh, I'm sure you'll find a way to entertain them, Charlie. I have no doubts about that."
Charlie nodded, "Yeah. Some way or the other, they'll be occupied."
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Charlie had known that he and Claire were going to have to watch the kids today, but he hadn't known it was going to start so early!
At exactly six thirty-three in the morning, Mandy crept into her uncle's room. She didn't know if he was like daddy and a really light sleeper or more like mommy, who took some work to wake. She wasn't quite sure what to do to wake him. She decided to test the waters first. When she was at his side, she poked him. That did nothing, so she shook his shoulder a bit. He stirred a little but didn't do anything else. Already getting tired of waiting, Mandy climbed into the bed and jumped onto his stomach. "Uncle Charlie! Wake up!"
"Ow! Mandy...that was my stomach, in case you didn't know." Charlie muttered before looking up at the girl with bleary eyes. "Now, what are you doing?"
"Waking you up, silly!"
"But...why?" Charlie asked, glancing at the clock and seeing it was only six thirty.
"Because. Mommy's gone. Daddy's gone. And Aunt Claire is busy with Baby Hope and Jake. So...you have to help me!"
It didn't quite register in Charlie's clouded mind that Mandy had just called Claire her Aunt. "All right, then. What is it that you're wanting to do?"
"Eat breakfast.' Many said as if this were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Right, right, ok. Well, here's what I need you to do." Charlie smiled a little as he noticed he'd grabbed her attention. "Get off of me. And let me get out of bed." He said very seriously.
Mandy giggled but did as she was told, falling off of her uncle onto the bed. "You're funny!"
"Am I, now?" When the child nodded vigorously, Charlie grinned and said, "Well, I bet you won't think I'm so funny in a minute."
"Why?" Mandy's green eyes were wide and sparkling with wonder.
"Because...I just might turn into..."
"Into what? Into what?"
Charlie bit back a laugh, but couldn't contain the grin spreading across his face, "The Evil, Maniacal Tickler!"
Before he even had a chance to do a single thing, Charlie watched as Mandy squealed and rolled off the bed, darting out the door. Well, he wasn't about to let her get off that easy! He slid across the width of the bed and ran after her down the hallway. "Get back here my lovely little victim!"
"No!" Mandy squealed, giggling as she reached the stairway.
Unfortunately for the four year old, Charlie was right behind her and he caught up to her, but he let her get down the stairs first, it would just be an easier task on surely flat ground. When he caught up to her, Charlie scooped the tiny girl into his arms and started tickling her with a free hand.
Mandy squealed, "Ah!! No! He got me! Stop! Stop! Stoooo-oooop!" She pleaded through her giggles.
Charlie laughed and stopped tickling her, setting her down on her feet again. He watched as she ran towards the kitchen, "C'mon, Uncle Charlie! Breakfast!"
"Oh, right. Breakfast." Charlie said, a bit weary of this bit. He'd never really been good in a kitchen...
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When Charlie had convinced Mandy that whatever they did for breakfast would have to be easy, she told him that toast would be just fine. When Charlie had managed to even ruin the toast, Mandy said to him, "Uncle Charlie. How did you mess up toast? I can make toast and I'm only four!" She even held her fingers up to show him.
"I don't know how I messed the toast up. I just know that I did. And that I told you I'm not good in a kitchen."
"But...." Mandy blinked at him. "It's toast."
Charlie sighed, "Yes. It is. But I messed it up and...if you know you could fix it so well, why didn't you in the beginning?"
Mandy arched an eyebrow at him, "Who are you kidding? I'm four!"
"But...you just said that...oh, forget that. You're four."
Claire had been standing in the doorway of the kitchen behind Charlie for the last few minutes, listening to their toast argument. She laughed a little at the last bit. "How about...I take over from here?"
Charlie glanced over his shoulder at the blonde. Then to the very burnt toast. Then back to Claire. He nodded. "Yep. That'd be a good idea because that," He pointed at the non-toast, "......Is from the toaster."
"Wow." Claire laughed again, "That's kind of pathetic, Charlie. All you have to do is put the bread in the toaster and...not put the setting so high! No wonder!" She shook her head, "You are absolutely adorable in every way, you know that?" She asked, kissing him on the cheek.
"I do now."
Mandy didn't like feeling ignored, so she spoke up, "Soo....Uncle Charlie's not fixing breakfast, then? Right? Because his breakfast scares me."
Charlie and Claire both laughed, "Yes, I'll be fixing your breakfast," Claire said, "Your Uncle Charlie can give a stab at lunch later. Maybe he can manage a peanut butter and jelly sandwich."
"Hey! I resent that I'm kitchen-illiterate, all right?" Charlie tried in a half-attempt to defend himself.
Mandy laughed at him, which turned Charlie's attention to her again. A grin spread across his face. "Shouldn't have done that, little one..."
"Why not?" She challenged him.
"Because now...I'm going to have to tickle you some more!" With that, the girl squealed and darted out of the room, Charlie not far behind her.
Claire shook her head. From what she understood, he didn't even know his niece and nephew, but he was so great with Mandy already. That's all Charlie was. A big kid. And Claire liked that about him.
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It was around five when Kristina's car pulled into the driveway. Claire was braiding Mandy's hair, a la the girl's request, and Charlie was playing with Jake. Just when Kristina entered the house, all of the adults stopped for a moment with Mandy's words. "Uncle Charlie?"
"Yeah?" Charlie sat up from his position on the floor, looking at the cherry-headed girl.
"How come you and Aunt Claire don't wear rings like mommy and daddy?"
All three adults stopped what they were doing; Claire stopped mid-braid, Charlie set Jake, who he had previously been tossing in the air, down on the floor, and Kristina dropped her keys at the door.
Mandy looked around at them all, confused. "What?"
Charlie was the one that took up answering the question. "See....first of all...Claire....she's, um...she's not your Aunt, sweetie." No matter how much I'd already love her to be...
That didn't make things clear to Mandy. "Huh? How is she not?"
"Well, you see...your mum and dad...they're married, that's why they wear the rings. Claire and I...we aren't...and...that means, she's not your aunt." Charlie wondered if that made sense to the child.
Mandy frowned. That didn't make any sense. "But...I saw you kissing. Mommy and Daddy kiss. Doesn't that mean something?"
"Well...yes, but...it doesn't mean the same thing. Well, it does but...that's a lot more complicated matter. The point is, Mandy...Claire isn't you're aunt."
Mandy looked at him with the best skeptical look a four-year-old could possibly posses. "I don't believe you!" She said in an accompanying disbelieving tone. "She's my aunt and there's nothing you can do about it."
Charlie pressed his lips together to keep the laughter at bay. His shoulders were already shaking from his laughter. He shook his head, "All right, if that's how you see it..."
"Well..is it. She's my aunt!" She stuck her tongue out at Charlie.
"Mandy, what did I tell you about that?" Kris said in a warning tone.
"But--"
"Mandy..."
"Ok..." She muttered, defeated.
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That night, when they were in their room for the night, as Claire was laying down, she smiled. "I think it's cute that Mandy is so insistent on me being her aunt."
Charlie grinned, "Yeah...She just doesn't understand..."
"I think she might mistakably be trying to tell you something, Charlie." It was Claire's turn to grin now.
"Mmm...maybe she is." Charlie smiled, "But we'll never know because she's only four." He laughed lightly.
Claire laughed a bit as well, "That's true." But I can always imagine it that way, can't I?
"Well, uh...good night...I guess..."
Claire smiled, "Yeah, 'night." She said, leaning up and kissing him lightly before lying back down.
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Notes – Aww...isn't that just adorable? Mandy is so cute! Ok, I swear! Next chapter, I'm putting Jake in it. For real. He's not gotten any time in here yet, so, he shall in Chapter 6.
Drop me a line!
Later days,
-PFB-