PART 49
Author: Witezon@aol.com
Pairing: A/T
Rating: PG-13
Everything belongs to Paramount/UPN
VERGENT - 1930 - CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS
Sitting at the desk in the Vergent's Captain's Quarters, T'Pol reviewed the latest engineering status report. 'All of the repairs have been completed and are holding. Lt Kowalski will continue to monitor the systems until we can hand the ship back to the Mezzians tomorrow.'
Putting the PADD down on the desk, she turned to look out of the port hole to watch the Enterprise floating in space next to them.
The site brought her a familiar feeling of loneliness along with the continued throbbing in her head. As she had done earlier that night, she controlled it and refocused on her duty. Turning back to her duties, she picked the PADD bringing up the duty roster for the night shift for her approval. 'Womack is scheduled to relieve Reed on the bridge at 2230 for her shift, then Watson, then I have the final shift. Kowalski and Torres will be on-call all night in Engineering.' She quickly called Reed to approve the roster.
With another quick glance outside the ship, T'Pol turned back to the room she occupied. Looking around the room with typical Vulcan curiosity. Tilting her head, she again contemplated the bed. 'It is of a unique design to meet unknown needs. Evidently created for those of a different body type and, possibly, culture.'
Staring at it, she considered what those needs could be. It was large and very round, but with a cushioned cylinder in the middle. 'I am confident that if I complete some research in the database I could determine its use.' With a Vulcan arched eyebrow, but accompanied with a Human thought, 'But then would I want to sleep in the bed if I did?'
'This cabin could be considered very...opulent even by Earth standards and extremely unnecessary by Vulcan. I believe that Jonathon would smile and call this plush.' With a mental sigh, she thought about Jonathon for a moment.
Again with determination T'Pol put down the PADD. 'Kroykah.' Enough is enough. My - fight with Jonathon is disturbing.' She let the pounding in her head momentarily distract her, 'And, as Jonathon would say, the energy backlash did not help either.'
T'Pol stretched her neck from side to side, 'If I cannot rid myself of the pain, I will ask Ensign Cutler for an analgesic.'
After twenty minutes of meditation, T'Pol jerked awake. Looking around the room, she tried to discover what had disturbed her. Carefully raising, she walked quickly over to the intercom to call the Bridge.
As she was reaching for the intercom button, "BUZZ."
Now she knew what had startled her. Staring at the door for a moment, she slowly went over and opened it.
Jonathon.
They stood there looking at each other. Finally, T'Pol stepped back, gesturing for him to come in.
Archer walked in looking around. Nodding, "Very nice. Very plush." Then he saw the bed, "Strange bed."
She acknowledged that without saying a word. She stood there with her hands behind her back, watching him, thinking about what she had done to him.
He stared at her with a sad grin, "Thinking hard?"
She tilted her head in acknowledgement. Then, "Jonathon, I must apologize to you. While I do believe we needed to understand our feelings and fears, I regret at how I did it. I did not mean to hurt you as I did. I am very sorry."
His grin fell and he nodded, "I'm angry."
She nodded in acceptance.
He took a couple of steps closer to her, "What do we do now?"
"We talk." Looking around, she pointed him to a seating area by the bed.
She took a breath, "I am sorry, Jonathon. My conduct cannot be excused. I should never have used my strength against you."
His mouth twitched in acknowledgement, "Yeah, its intimidating that my wife can physically subdue me."
She didn't say anything, just dropped her eyes.
Softly, "Hey, look at me." She did.
He reached over and took her hand in a loose hold. "If I accept your apology, will you accept mine?"
She arched an eyebrow, and he continued, "'T'Pol, I am sorry that I accused you of having something - a relationship - with Trip. That was stupid, that was fear, I know you're not and that you love me.'
Slowly she nodded, accepting this truth, "Do you understand why you have them?"
With an apologetic, almost shame-faced, expression, "Yeah, well, Trip's younger than me, he'll probably be around a lot longer than I will. He's in better shape..."
He could see in her eyes an understanding, "Jonathon, you are younger than I am. But it is you I have chosen to be in my life."
She paused for a moment, "He also could not 'give' me a child."
Jonathon thought about that. T'Pol remain silent, waiting, as this was the crux of the matter.
He got up and walked towards the port hole where he could see the Enterprise, but he didn't turn around, "T'Pol, I think I'm afraid you're going to leave me when Jon...."
Answering softly, "My choice is to be with you for as long as one of us lives, and it has nothing to do with Jon. I would be with you if he never came to us. I will be with you if he stays and I will be with you if he leaves."
He had turned around at her words. With an intense stare, she added, "Unless you do not want me."
Shaking his head, "No, definitely not that."
She nodded, "That is good, as I do not want that either."
He finally grinned at her, "Why did you close down our bond? I've tried to reach you all day."
With a slow blink, "I cannot initiate our bond. I do not have the strength to keep the bond open now. It is a side effect of the kae'at k'lasa."
Frowning, "Oh." He thought about that. "When will you be okay?"
"Tomorrow or the day after."
"Why couldn't I keep it open? At least a little."
"I would assume that you subconsciously chose not to."
Again, "Oh."
He walked closer to her, "Do you think it would work now?"
"That decision is yours to make."
Again he took a moment to think, then nodded, "Okay, that thing with Vulcan. All those pictures you sent me, and the sounds and the heat. The intensity, that's not only Vulcan, is it? Its also you. That was your promise to me, that you are part of me. Like Vulcan is always part of you.'
She nodded.
Then, "Jonathon, I forced my way into your mind. What I did last night could be considered rape."
He stood there for a few minutes, intently watching her, "Yeah, that's true. It could be. I remember being so angry at you, being so out of control that I actually felt every fear I had was real."
"Do you know why you choose that particular method to get my attention?"
He could almost feel the shame rolling off of T'Pol, "Just tell me, I'd really like to know."
She took a breath, "I have known something was...off since you first saw Commander Tucker and myself, with Jon, when you returned from Occannath. I thought that you somehow felt left out."
Taking a breath, he nodded, "I did. But I felt pretty stupid, because we've got a bond that tells me differently."
She continued, "I ignored it, as I believed that I had to be wrong. Then it kept happening, these feelings from you whenever you saw Commander Tucker and myself with or without Jon."
Chagrined at her continued use of Trip's rank, "T'Pol, you can call him Trip if you want, it doesn't bother me."
He walked closer to her, "We had a talk, too. We got some things settled or more truthfully, I got some things settled with him." A very brief look of relief appeared in her eyes, "I am glad. I did not want to come between the two of you."
Jonathon felt badly as he saw her continue to hide from him the emotions he knew she had. Gently put his hands on her shoulder, "You weren't, I was."
Softly she said, "I believed that you seemed to have two minds about it. While you knew it was not true, there was another feeling that would rise up and it would color your thoughts. I did not know what to do. You did not seem to acknowledge it. If you did not, I could not. I thought that it would go away after awhile. Then we found out Jon is ill.'
Sadly he frowned, "Yeah, we found out Jon is ill."
T'Pol continued to stare at him.
"What?"
She was absorbing the warmth projected from this hands, through her tired and painful thoughts. Comforting her. She was ashamed by what she had done to him as his thoughts of love warmed her. Slowly she put her hand on top on one of his, "Jonathon, I am very sorry. I should not have forced you. Can you forgive me?"
With a small smile, "Is there anyway our bond can work? I doubt think I can just tell you what I feel."
She shrugged, "As I said, it is your choice. You will have to initiate the bond."
He did. He pushed to open the bond with all of his strength and found T'Pol at the other end.
He felt her love, her sadness and apologies with the connection. He physically reached out and cupped her face. Tentatively he leaned down and softly kissed her. She felt his love, his forgiveness, and his apologies for his fears and what they done to them - cleansing them.
She stepped into him, fitting her body to his, and initiated a second kiss. Jonathon felt her tremble and pulled her tighter against him. He gently broke the kiss, and said softly, "Aisha, you're exhausted. Your thoughts even feel tired. Is that why you're trembling?"
She tucked her head under his chin, and replied through the bond, 'I am tired, but we need to talk.'
'Alright, but lets do it sitting down, maybe catch up on some sleep.' Taking her hand he led her to the bed.
Shrugging, "I don't think I can figure out how to do anything but sleep in this bed. What is that thing in the middle for?"
"I do not know. I am not sure I want to know."
Chuckling at her, "Okkaay." He pushed her down on the bed and pulled a pillow down on 'her' side of the cylinder and then sat down on 'his' side. After a few moments, she leaned against his shoulder and he pulled her tighter to him.
"Alright, we'll just work with this thing in bed with us." With that he pulled her up and over to his side and laid them down curving around the cylinder on the circular bed. 'Go to sleep, Aisha. We can talk more tomorrow.'
With sadness and grief in his thoughts, 'We already know what we have to do.'
With equal sadness permeating her thoughts, 'Yes.'
T'Pol pushed herself firmly back into Jonathon, sharing their grief and their comfort. Jonathon tightened his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. Exhausted they both fell asleep.
"BUZZZZZ."
Jonathon quickly sat up and looked down at T'Pol. She was still asleep. "BUZZZ."
He stalked over to the door, opening he found Watson.
"Captain. Its time for T'Pol's shift on the bridge and -"
"And I am ready and apologize for my tardiness." T'Pol spoke from behind Jonathon.
Both Jonathon and Watson looked at her in surprise. Then smiling, Jonathon replied, "Go to bed, Ensign. We'll take the bridge."
Nodding, "Yes, sir." After a quick look at T'Pol, he left.
CONTINUED IN PART 50! PART 50 Author: Witezon@aol.com Pairing: A/T Rating: PG-13 Everything belongs to Paramount/UPN
The morning arrived quickly. Too quickly. Their shift had passed almost without thought. T'Pol worked on a project throughout the entire shift while Archer had monitored ship's operations and the space surrounding them.
"Bing." They exchanged a sad look as that sound that indicated the completion of her project. T'Pol finished telling him the results as the 'lift doors opened.
Reed, followed by Watson, stepped out into a very quiet and somber atmosphere. Looking from Archer to T'Pol, Reed asked, "Captain? Sub- Commander?"
Archer answered, "Nothing to report, Lt." T'Pol and Jonathon exchanged a long look and then she said, "Lt, you have the bridge. I will escort the Captain to his shuttle."
Reed nodded and took his station, running his morning checks. Once they were alone in the 'lift, Jonathon took T'Pol's hand. 'Well, at least our bond is working again.'
'Yes.' There really wasn't anything to say, but they did share their pain and took comfort from each other through the bond. Pulling her into a tight hug, they held each other for a few moments.
Jonathon stepped back, staring deeply into her eyes, he nodded. 'Would you go ahead and set it up?'
'Yes.' A he stepped into the shuttle, she grabbed his arm. 'Jonathon, I cherish thee.'
His eyes dark with emotions, 'I love you, too,' he pulled her into a quick, tight hug. With one last look, he climbed into the shuttle and she walked out into the corridor and hit the intercom.
"T'Pol to Reed."
"Reed here, Sub-Commander."
"Lt, the Captain is leaving and I will be in cylinder room for a few minutes, then return to the bridge. Please get an Engineering update from Lt Kowalski. T'Pol out."
A few minutes later she walked into the cylinder room and dismissed Ensign Cutler. With a concerned look, Cutler nodded and left.
T'Pol stood there, studying the all the cylinders. Finally, she walked over to one cylinder in particular and stared down at the occupant. Her face completely devoid of emotion, her eyes empty.
As she stared down, thoughts flew around her mind, and so did her emotions. Jonathon touched her, sending his love. She closed her eyes and accepted the peace he gave her; she finally turned towards the main computer and went to work inputting the commands. After 20 minutes, she finished and returned to the bridge.
Reed reported to T'Pol, "Lt Kowalski reported that the Engineering repairs are holding and no problems have developed. The Enterprise has confirmed the Captain's return and Captain Sertam contacted us confirming they're arrival later this morning."
THREE HOURS LATER (1100)
"Sub-Commander, the Gegan is hailing us."
"Put it on-screen."
"Captain Sertam has contacted us on a secured channel for you. Shall I transfer it to the conference room we found yesterday?"
Nodding, she went to the conference room just off the bridge. He appeared on the view screen, "Captain Sertam?"
"Good day, T'Pol. I wanted to contact you and let you know why we had delayed our arrival until 1200 hours today. It was because another of one our research facilities had been working on a genetic illness quite like the one with the Akaali."
Taking a quick calming breath, "What have they discovered?"
"Its in preliminary trials, but they have located the exact cells that have degenerated in the Coraii - who are genetically similar to the Akaali. The cellular degradation symptoms are almost the same and also passed through reproduction. They are doing trial tests with a vaccine to stop and correct the degeneration. The results are very encouraging."
Sympathetically, "I understand your son and his biological mother have this disease. I can offer to you that they be included in the trials."
Another calming breathe, "Even for a child of Jon's age?"
"Yes, that's one of the exciting avenues we've discovered. We anticipate we can stop and cure the disease in the mature and the immature. The drawback would be that they could not procreate without assistance to ensure that their cells aren't harboring any recessive traits. But we anticipate that with further defining tests and trials, that eventually will not be a problem."
He looked at her, "What would you like to do, T'Pol?"
She studied him with her Vulcan control firmly in place, "Riann would also be cured?"
Nodding side to side, "That is our expectation. She would be cured, but would be advised to not have anymore children."
Staring, she nodded, "I need to discuss this with my mate. Can we give your our answer upon your arrival?"
"Yes, of course, but we would need your answer then as we must continue onto the Sek'heim'ya Sector."
T'Pol nodded, "Understood. Thank you, Sertam. Jonathon and I appreciate your assistance with our problem."
She closed her eyes, continuing to control her emotions so she could tell Jonathon about Captain Sertam's offer.
"T'Pol to Reed. Lt, please open a secure channel to the Enterprise. I need to speak with Captain Archer."
A minute later, "Aye, Ma'am. Channel open, Captain Archer is in his Ready Room." FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER
"Damn it, T'Pol. I hate this." As he said those words, he battered her mind with his angry emotions.
Blinking, "I know, Jonathon. But what choice do we have?" Serene on the outside, but only her personal mantra was keeping her emotions under control.
He suddenly stopped pacing and dropped down into his chair. He softly repeated himself, "Damn it, T'Pol. This isn't fair."
Softly she agreed, he felt her emotions reflect both happiness and resignation, "No, it is not."
He closed his eyes and she watched him, 'Aisha, we had just come to accept that Jon needed to go into stasis with Riann and now there might be a possible cure or at the least a remission - for both of them.'
He got up again, fidgeting, angry, 'Damn it, of course, she'll want him back.'
Softly, understatedly, 'Of course. But what other recourse do we have?'
Feeling T'Pol's sadness and his own, he said just as wearily, 'Aisha, she's going to want him back. What's the probability that she'd not want him?'
'.005%', she replied automatically.
Turning his attention more fully on T'Pol, he watched her and her disassociation caught him off-guard, 'Yeah, .005%. Of course.'
He continued to feel her through the bond, 'Aisha, I love you.'
'And I love you, Jonathon.'
The tonelessness of her response scared him, 'T'Pol, talk to me.' He waited a moment, 'T'Pol? Please talk to me.'
She drug her eyes up from the floor, 'Jonathon, I do not know what to say. We were going to lose Jon regardless of whether it was to put him into stasis or to not treat him. Now, we can possibly give him a cure and Riann also. We would lose him regardless. How is this different from the other two?'
Holding onto her, 'Aisha, the difference is that Jon will be gone from us, but living a happy life with Riann.'
An eyebrow cocked at him, one he recognized from their early times on Enterprise. It meant that while she accepted what he said, she didn't necessarily believe it.
Finally, he felt a crack in her control, 'Jonathon, that is what I must believe. Riann was a good parent. Jon is a loving, happy, secure child and he would not have been if she had been a bad parent. She also took a great chance to deliver your child to you to raise in her stead. That is also the act of a good parent. Her only mistake, if it could be called that, is how she conceived him.'
Sighing, 'Yeah, that's true. But you're the one who got him through the dark times when he first arrived on Enterprise. You're the one who held him at night chasing away his fears, not me, not her. You're the one he felt safe with, the one who gave him unconditional love regardless of his parentage. You're the one who is teaching him Vulcan, reading to him about the ways of peace and knowledge, and who gave him grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Neither Riann or I could do that.'
He took a breath, 'Aisha, you have done everything for our son that anyone would expect of his biological mother. We even had to make the awful decision to place him into stasis to save his life. Its not fair that that this now happens.' He sent a powerful, complicated wave of love, devotion, and thanks to her, that was interwoven with his sadness for the loss of Jon, but also with happiness that Jon would live. - but probably not with them.
She took a slow, long deep breath and returned his feelings. Their love and need bound them even more irrevocably together.
After a few minutes, 'Jonathon, we have 30 minutes before Sertam arrives. Would you please tell our family?'
Taking a breath of his own, 'Yeah, I'm going to include Trip, Hoshi, Phlox, and Travis - and Miss Anne - in that group. Will you tell you Reed and everyone there?'
'Yes, they are part of our family, also.'
THIRTY MINUTES LATER
A hard silence, reminiscent of the silence in the cylinder room, found its way onto the Vergent bridge. T'Pol had recalled everyone to the bridge and explained what they were going to do.
Reed stared at T'Pol, then at the decking as what she had unemotionally told them rolled around in his head. She stood there telling them what she and the Captain were going to do, then what had occurred to change that. Dignified, calm, quietly Vulcan. He drew in a deep breath in the manner she had taught him to release his emotions, his anger wouldn't help her. But he couldn't help but think that was so unfair.
Silently, tears started to roll down Cutler's face as she realized what was going to happen. If she was Jon's mother she'd want him back, too. He was so lovable, such a good kid. She remembered how much Jon loved being with T'Pol and how this would effect her - silently in the way of Vulcan.
Womack stared at T'Pol. T'Pol was her direct supervisor and she had come to know her and respect her. T'Pol had shown her how to become a better Science Officer and pushed her skills, and Womack's, to the maximum. She had also seen Jon run into the Mess Hall to call out for his Mam and she would quietly, but without any censure, accept his hugs and give them back to him. She wasn't cold or unemotional. No Vulcan was. They just controlled their emotions, so they didn't control them. T'Pol would feel this pain as any human mother would. A tear worked its way down her cheek for both T'Pol and Jon. He would be so confused.
Kowalski took a deep breath, she didn't cry. She was too shocked. Everyone on the ship had already figured out that they would put him into stasis to save his life. But now this? This was fair?
Watson and Torres just looked on, shocked, not knowing what to do. They wanted to step to her side as they did when they were training or to protect her on away teams. They knew their Vulcan was different. She had taught them so much, what could they do for her now? It was so unfair.
A similar shocked silence was found in Sickbay on the Enterprise as Jonathon explained. The four Vulcans stood there without an expression, totally emotionless. Jonathon knew by this time the more emotionless they were, the more they were controlling. Phlox looked at the Captain, then at the floor. As a doctor he already knew what the choices were and what they would probably do, but now as a father he felt only anger and finally acceptance. It was the right thing to do.
Hoshi had tears running down her face, 'how could they survive either choice?' She had been hoping Phlox and T'Pel would come up with a miracle to save Jon. Now he would be, but would probably be leaving.
Travis looked shocked and saddened. He went to stand beside Hoshi and Phlox.
Tucker quickly turned around. 'Goddamn it! It just wasn't fair! It just wasn't fair.' He remembered how Jon had first arrived on Enterprise and everything T'Pol had done for him. How he felt about Jon and being his honorary Uncle. Just two weeks ago, both Jonathon and T'Pol had asked him to become one of Jon's guardians if anything happened to them. The other guardian was T'Pel.
He was so goddamned angry! A hand touched his shoulder. He swiftly turned around ready to yell at whoever it was. Stalen. Stalen had his hand on his shoulder.
Trip stared in Stalen's eyes. Those old, old, old eyes. Eyes that had seen a couple of centuries of experiences. Eyes that had witnessed happiness, misery, anger, and gladness and taken each in stride, accepting the situations that caused each to occur. Acceptance.
"Commander Tucker, your emotions are true to yourself. You do not need to turn away."
Trip nodded and looked up at Archer. Stalen followed his stare. "Yes, Jonathon is also upset, as is T'Pol. We must all provide the support they need to make the correct decisions for Jon."
'Its just so unfair.'
"Yes, it is." Trip jerked up to look at Stalen, he didn't think he had said that out loud. "But that does not make it less true or correct."
Trip looked back at Stalen, "Now what?"
CONTINUED IN PART 51
VERGENT - 1930 - CAPTAIN'S QUARTERS
Sitting at the desk in the Vergent's Captain's Quarters, T'Pol reviewed the latest engineering status report. 'All of the repairs have been completed and are holding. Lt Kowalski will continue to monitor the systems until we can hand the ship back to the Mezzians tomorrow.'
Putting the PADD down on the desk, she turned to look out of the port hole to watch the Enterprise floating in space next to them.
The site brought her a familiar feeling of loneliness along with the continued throbbing in her head. As she had done earlier that night, she controlled it and refocused on her duty. Turning back to her duties, she picked the PADD bringing up the duty roster for the night shift for her approval. 'Womack is scheduled to relieve Reed on the bridge at 2230 for her shift, then Watson, then I have the final shift. Kowalski and Torres will be on-call all night in Engineering.' She quickly called Reed to approve the roster.
With another quick glance outside the ship, T'Pol turned back to the room she occupied. Looking around the room with typical Vulcan curiosity. Tilting her head, she again contemplated the bed. 'It is of a unique design to meet unknown needs. Evidently created for those of a different body type and, possibly, culture.'
Staring at it, she considered what those needs could be. It was large and very round, but with a cushioned cylinder in the middle. 'I am confident that if I complete some research in the database I could determine its use.' With a Vulcan arched eyebrow, but accompanied with a Human thought, 'But then would I want to sleep in the bed if I did?'
'This cabin could be considered very...opulent even by Earth standards and extremely unnecessary by Vulcan. I believe that Jonathon would smile and call this plush.' With a mental sigh, she thought about Jonathon for a moment.
Again with determination T'Pol put down the PADD. 'Kroykah.' Enough is enough. My - fight with Jonathon is disturbing.' She let the pounding in her head momentarily distract her, 'And, as Jonathon would say, the energy backlash did not help either.'
T'Pol stretched her neck from side to side, 'If I cannot rid myself of the pain, I will ask Ensign Cutler for an analgesic.'
After twenty minutes of meditation, T'Pol jerked awake. Looking around the room, she tried to discover what had disturbed her. Carefully raising, she walked quickly over to the intercom to call the Bridge.
As she was reaching for the intercom button, "BUZZ."
Now she knew what had startled her. Staring at the door for a moment, she slowly went over and opened it.
Jonathon.
They stood there looking at each other. Finally, T'Pol stepped back, gesturing for him to come in.
Archer walked in looking around. Nodding, "Very nice. Very plush." Then he saw the bed, "Strange bed."
She acknowledged that without saying a word. She stood there with her hands behind her back, watching him, thinking about what she had done to him.
He stared at her with a sad grin, "Thinking hard?"
She tilted her head in acknowledgement. Then, "Jonathon, I must apologize to you. While I do believe we needed to understand our feelings and fears, I regret at how I did it. I did not mean to hurt you as I did. I am very sorry."
His grin fell and he nodded, "I'm angry."
She nodded in acceptance.
He took a couple of steps closer to her, "What do we do now?"
"We talk." Looking around, she pointed him to a seating area by the bed.
She took a breath, "I am sorry, Jonathon. My conduct cannot be excused. I should never have used my strength against you."
His mouth twitched in acknowledgement, "Yeah, its intimidating that my wife can physically subdue me."
She didn't say anything, just dropped her eyes.
Softly, "Hey, look at me." She did.
He reached over and took her hand in a loose hold. "If I accept your apology, will you accept mine?"
She arched an eyebrow, and he continued, "'T'Pol, I am sorry that I accused you of having something - a relationship - with Trip. That was stupid, that was fear, I know you're not and that you love me.'
Slowly she nodded, accepting this truth, "Do you understand why you have them?"
With an apologetic, almost shame-faced, expression, "Yeah, well, Trip's younger than me, he'll probably be around a lot longer than I will. He's in better shape..."
He could see in her eyes an understanding, "Jonathon, you are younger than I am. But it is you I have chosen to be in my life."
She paused for a moment, "He also could not 'give' me a child."
Jonathon thought about that. T'Pol remain silent, waiting, as this was the crux of the matter.
He got up and walked towards the port hole where he could see the Enterprise, but he didn't turn around, "T'Pol, I think I'm afraid you're going to leave me when Jon...."
Answering softly, "My choice is to be with you for as long as one of us lives, and it has nothing to do with Jon. I would be with you if he never came to us. I will be with you if he stays and I will be with you if he leaves."
He had turned around at her words. With an intense stare, she added, "Unless you do not want me."
Shaking his head, "No, definitely not that."
She nodded, "That is good, as I do not want that either."
He finally grinned at her, "Why did you close down our bond? I've tried to reach you all day."
With a slow blink, "I cannot initiate our bond. I do not have the strength to keep the bond open now. It is a side effect of the kae'at k'lasa."
Frowning, "Oh." He thought about that. "When will you be okay?"
"Tomorrow or the day after."
"Why couldn't I keep it open? At least a little."
"I would assume that you subconsciously chose not to."
Again, "Oh."
He walked closer to her, "Do you think it would work now?"
"That decision is yours to make."
Again he took a moment to think, then nodded, "Okay, that thing with Vulcan. All those pictures you sent me, and the sounds and the heat. The intensity, that's not only Vulcan, is it? Its also you. That was your promise to me, that you are part of me. Like Vulcan is always part of you.'
She nodded.
Then, "Jonathon, I forced my way into your mind. What I did last night could be considered rape."
He stood there for a few minutes, intently watching her, "Yeah, that's true. It could be. I remember being so angry at you, being so out of control that I actually felt every fear I had was real."
"Do you know why you choose that particular method to get my attention?"
He could almost feel the shame rolling off of T'Pol, "Just tell me, I'd really like to know."
She took a breath, "I have known something was...off since you first saw Commander Tucker and myself, with Jon, when you returned from Occannath. I thought that you somehow felt left out."
Taking a breath, he nodded, "I did. But I felt pretty stupid, because we've got a bond that tells me differently."
She continued, "I ignored it, as I believed that I had to be wrong. Then it kept happening, these feelings from you whenever you saw Commander Tucker and myself with or without Jon."
Chagrined at her continued use of Trip's rank, "T'Pol, you can call him Trip if you want, it doesn't bother me."
He walked closer to her, "We had a talk, too. We got some things settled or more truthfully, I got some things settled with him." A very brief look of relief appeared in her eyes, "I am glad. I did not want to come between the two of you."
Jonathon felt badly as he saw her continue to hide from him the emotions he knew she had. Gently put his hands on her shoulder, "You weren't, I was."
Softly she said, "I believed that you seemed to have two minds about it. While you knew it was not true, there was another feeling that would rise up and it would color your thoughts. I did not know what to do. You did not seem to acknowledge it. If you did not, I could not. I thought that it would go away after awhile. Then we found out Jon is ill.'
Sadly he frowned, "Yeah, we found out Jon is ill."
T'Pol continued to stare at him.
"What?"
She was absorbing the warmth projected from this hands, through her tired and painful thoughts. Comforting her. She was ashamed by what she had done to him as his thoughts of love warmed her. Slowly she put her hand on top on one of his, "Jonathon, I am very sorry. I should not have forced you. Can you forgive me?"
With a small smile, "Is there anyway our bond can work? I doubt think I can just tell you what I feel."
She shrugged, "As I said, it is your choice. You will have to initiate the bond."
He did. He pushed to open the bond with all of his strength and found T'Pol at the other end.
He felt her love, her sadness and apologies with the connection. He physically reached out and cupped her face. Tentatively he leaned down and softly kissed her. She felt his love, his forgiveness, and his apologies for his fears and what they done to them - cleansing them.
She stepped into him, fitting her body to his, and initiated a second kiss. Jonathon felt her tremble and pulled her tighter against him. He gently broke the kiss, and said softly, "Aisha, you're exhausted. Your thoughts even feel tired. Is that why you're trembling?"
She tucked her head under his chin, and replied through the bond, 'I am tired, but we need to talk.'
'Alright, but lets do it sitting down, maybe catch up on some sleep.' Taking her hand he led her to the bed.
Shrugging, "I don't think I can figure out how to do anything but sleep in this bed. What is that thing in the middle for?"
"I do not know. I am not sure I want to know."
Chuckling at her, "Okkaay." He pushed her down on the bed and pulled a pillow down on 'her' side of the cylinder and then sat down on 'his' side. After a few moments, she leaned against his shoulder and he pulled her tighter to him.
"Alright, we'll just work with this thing in bed with us." With that he pulled her up and over to his side and laid them down curving around the cylinder on the circular bed. 'Go to sleep, Aisha. We can talk more tomorrow.'
With sadness and grief in his thoughts, 'We already know what we have to do.'
With equal sadness permeating her thoughts, 'Yes.'
T'Pol pushed herself firmly back into Jonathon, sharing their grief and their comfort. Jonathon tightened his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. Exhausted they both fell asleep.
"BUZZZZZ."
Jonathon quickly sat up and looked down at T'Pol. She was still asleep. "BUZZZ."
He stalked over to the door, opening he found Watson.
"Captain. Its time for T'Pol's shift on the bridge and -"
"And I am ready and apologize for my tardiness." T'Pol spoke from behind Jonathon.
Both Jonathon and Watson looked at her in surprise. Then smiling, Jonathon replied, "Go to bed, Ensign. We'll take the bridge."
Nodding, "Yes, sir." After a quick look at T'Pol, he left.
CONTINUED IN PART 50! PART 50 Author: Witezon@aol.com Pairing: A/T Rating: PG-13 Everything belongs to Paramount/UPN
The morning arrived quickly. Too quickly. Their shift had passed almost without thought. T'Pol worked on a project throughout the entire shift while Archer had monitored ship's operations and the space surrounding them.
"Bing." They exchanged a sad look as that sound that indicated the completion of her project. T'Pol finished telling him the results as the 'lift doors opened.
Reed, followed by Watson, stepped out into a very quiet and somber atmosphere. Looking from Archer to T'Pol, Reed asked, "Captain? Sub- Commander?"
Archer answered, "Nothing to report, Lt." T'Pol and Jonathon exchanged a long look and then she said, "Lt, you have the bridge. I will escort the Captain to his shuttle."
Reed nodded and took his station, running his morning checks. Once they were alone in the 'lift, Jonathon took T'Pol's hand. 'Well, at least our bond is working again.'
'Yes.' There really wasn't anything to say, but they did share their pain and took comfort from each other through the bond. Pulling her into a tight hug, they held each other for a few moments.
Jonathon stepped back, staring deeply into her eyes, he nodded. 'Would you go ahead and set it up?'
'Yes.' A he stepped into the shuttle, she grabbed his arm. 'Jonathon, I cherish thee.'
His eyes dark with emotions, 'I love you, too,' he pulled her into a quick, tight hug. With one last look, he climbed into the shuttle and she walked out into the corridor and hit the intercom.
"T'Pol to Reed."
"Reed here, Sub-Commander."
"Lt, the Captain is leaving and I will be in cylinder room for a few minutes, then return to the bridge. Please get an Engineering update from Lt Kowalski. T'Pol out."
A few minutes later she walked into the cylinder room and dismissed Ensign Cutler. With a concerned look, Cutler nodded and left.
T'Pol stood there, studying the all the cylinders. Finally, she walked over to one cylinder in particular and stared down at the occupant. Her face completely devoid of emotion, her eyes empty.
As she stared down, thoughts flew around her mind, and so did her emotions. Jonathon touched her, sending his love. She closed her eyes and accepted the peace he gave her; she finally turned towards the main computer and went to work inputting the commands. After 20 minutes, she finished and returned to the bridge.
Reed reported to T'Pol, "Lt Kowalski reported that the Engineering repairs are holding and no problems have developed. The Enterprise has confirmed the Captain's return and Captain Sertam contacted us confirming they're arrival later this morning."
THREE HOURS LATER (1100)
"Sub-Commander, the Gegan is hailing us."
"Put it on-screen."
"Captain Sertam has contacted us on a secured channel for you. Shall I transfer it to the conference room we found yesterday?"
Nodding, she went to the conference room just off the bridge. He appeared on the view screen, "Captain Sertam?"
"Good day, T'Pol. I wanted to contact you and let you know why we had delayed our arrival until 1200 hours today. It was because another of one our research facilities had been working on a genetic illness quite like the one with the Akaali."
Taking a quick calming breath, "What have they discovered?"
"Its in preliminary trials, but they have located the exact cells that have degenerated in the Coraii - who are genetically similar to the Akaali. The cellular degradation symptoms are almost the same and also passed through reproduction. They are doing trial tests with a vaccine to stop and correct the degeneration. The results are very encouraging."
Sympathetically, "I understand your son and his biological mother have this disease. I can offer to you that they be included in the trials."
Another calming breathe, "Even for a child of Jon's age?"
"Yes, that's one of the exciting avenues we've discovered. We anticipate we can stop and cure the disease in the mature and the immature. The drawback would be that they could not procreate without assistance to ensure that their cells aren't harboring any recessive traits. But we anticipate that with further defining tests and trials, that eventually will not be a problem."
He looked at her, "What would you like to do, T'Pol?"
She studied him with her Vulcan control firmly in place, "Riann would also be cured?"
Nodding side to side, "That is our expectation. She would be cured, but would be advised to not have anymore children."
Staring, she nodded, "I need to discuss this with my mate. Can we give your our answer upon your arrival?"
"Yes, of course, but we would need your answer then as we must continue onto the Sek'heim'ya Sector."
T'Pol nodded, "Understood. Thank you, Sertam. Jonathon and I appreciate your assistance with our problem."
She closed her eyes, continuing to control her emotions so she could tell Jonathon about Captain Sertam's offer.
"T'Pol to Reed. Lt, please open a secure channel to the Enterprise. I need to speak with Captain Archer."
A minute later, "Aye, Ma'am. Channel open, Captain Archer is in his Ready Room." FIFTEEN MINUTES LATER
"Damn it, T'Pol. I hate this." As he said those words, he battered her mind with his angry emotions.
Blinking, "I know, Jonathon. But what choice do we have?" Serene on the outside, but only her personal mantra was keeping her emotions under control.
He suddenly stopped pacing and dropped down into his chair. He softly repeated himself, "Damn it, T'Pol. This isn't fair."
Softly she agreed, he felt her emotions reflect both happiness and resignation, "No, it is not."
He closed his eyes and she watched him, 'Aisha, we had just come to accept that Jon needed to go into stasis with Riann and now there might be a possible cure or at the least a remission - for both of them.'
He got up again, fidgeting, angry, 'Damn it, of course, she'll want him back.'
Softly, understatedly, 'Of course. But what other recourse do we have?'
Feeling T'Pol's sadness and his own, he said just as wearily, 'Aisha, she's going to want him back. What's the probability that she'd not want him?'
'.005%', she replied automatically.
Turning his attention more fully on T'Pol, he watched her and her disassociation caught him off-guard, 'Yeah, .005%. Of course.'
He continued to feel her through the bond, 'Aisha, I love you.'
'And I love you, Jonathon.'
The tonelessness of her response scared him, 'T'Pol, talk to me.' He waited a moment, 'T'Pol? Please talk to me.'
She drug her eyes up from the floor, 'Jonathon, I do not know what to say. We were going to lose Jon regardless of whether it was to put him into stasis or to not treat him. Now, we can possibly give him a cure and Riann also. We would lose him regardless. How is this different from the other two?'
Holding onto her, 'Aisha, the difference is that Jon will be gone from us, but living a happy life with Riann.'
An eyebrow cocked at him, one he recognized from their early times on Enterprise. It meant that while she accepted what he said, she didn't necessarily believe it.
Finally, he felt a crack in her control, 'Jonathon, that is what I must believe. Riann was a good parent. Jon is a loving, happy, secure child and he would not have been if she had been a bad parent. She also took a great chance to deliver your child to you to raise in her stead. That is also the act of a good parent. Her only mistake, if it could be called that, is how she conceived him.'
Sighing, 'Yeah, that's true. But you're the one who got him through the dark times when he first arrived on Enterprise. You're the one who held him at night chasing away his fears, not me, not her. You're the one he felt safe with, the one who gave him unconditional love regardless of his parentage. You're the one who is teaching him Vulcan, reading to him about the ways of peace and knowledge, and who gave him grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. Neither Riann or I could do that.'
He took a breath, 'Aisha, you have done everything for our son that anyone would expect of his biological mother. We even had to make the awful decision to place him into stasis to save his life. Its not fair that that this now happens.' He sent a powerful, complicated wave of love, devotion, and thanks to her, that was interwoven with his sadness for the loss of Jon, but also with happiness that Jon would live. - but probably not with them.
She took a slow, long deep breath and returned his feelings. Their love and need bound them even more irrevocably together.
After a few minutes, 'Jonathon, we have 30 minutes before Sertam arrives. Would you please tell our family?'
Taking a breath of his own, 'Yeah, I'm going to include Trip, Hoshi, Phlox, and Travis - and Miss Anne - in that group. Will you tell you Reed and everyone there?'
'Yes, they are part of our family, also.'
THIRTY MINUTES LATER
A hard silence, reminiscent of the silence in the cylinder room, found its way onto the Vergent bridge. T'Pol had recalled everyone to the bridge and explained what they were going to do.
Reed stared at T'Pol, then at the decking as what she had unemotionally told them rolled around in his head. She stood there telling them what she and the Captain were going to do, then what had occurred to change that. Dignified, calm, quietly Vulcan. He drew in a deep breath in the manner she had taught him to release his emotions, his anger wouldn't help her. But he couldn't help but think that was so unfair.
Silently, tears started to roll down Cutler's face as she realized what was going to happen. If she was Jon's mother she'd want him back, too. He was so lovable, such a good kid. She remembered how much Jon loved being with T'Pol and how this would effect her - silently in the way of Vulcan.
Womack stared at T'Pol. T'Pol was her direct supervisor and she had come to know her and respect her. T'Pol had shown her how to become a better Science Officer and pushed her skills, and Womack's, to the maximum. She had also seen Jon run into the Mess Hall to call out for his Mam and she would quietly, but without any censure, accept his hugs and give them back to him. She wasn't cold or unemotional. No Vulcan was. They just controlled their emotions, so they didn't control them. T'Pol would feel this pain as any human mother would. A tear worked its way down her cheek for both T'Pol and Jon. He would be so confused.
Kowalski took a deep breath, she didn't cry. She was too shocked. Everyone on the ship had already figured out that they would put him into stasis to save his life. But now this? This was fair?
Watson and Torres just looked on, shocked, not knowing what to do. They wanted to step to her side as they did when they were training or to protect her on away teams. They knew their Vulcan was different. She had taught them so much, what could they do for her now? It was so unfair.
A similar shocked silence was found in Sickbay on the Enterprise as Jonathon explained. The four Vulcans stood there without an expression, totally emotionless. Jonathon knew by this time the more emotionless they were, the more they were controlling. Phlox looked at the Captain, then at the floor. As a doctor he already knew what the choices were and what they would probably do, but now as a father he felt only anger and finally acceptance. It was the right thing to do.
Hoshi had tears running down her face, 'how could they survive either choice?' She had been hoping Phlox and T'Pel would come up with a miracle to save Jon. Now he would be, but would probably be leaving.
Travis looked shocked and saddened. He went to stand beside Hoshi and Phlox.
Tucker quickly turned around. 'Goddamn it! It just wasn't fair! It just wasn't fair.' He remembered how Jon had first arrived on Enterprise and everything T'Pol had done for him. How he felt about Jon and being his honorary Uncle. Just two weeks ago, both Jonathon and T'Pol had asked him to become one of Jon's guardians if anything happened to them. The other guardian was T'Pel.
He was so goddamned angry! A hand touched his shoulder. He swiftly turned around ready to yell at whoever it was. Stalen. Stalen had his hand on his shoulder.
Trip stared in Stalen's eyes. Those old, old, old eyes. Eyes that had seen a couple of centuries of experiences. Eyes that had witnessed happiness, misery, anger, and gladness and taken each in stride, accepting the situations that caused each to occur. Acceptance.
"Commander Tucker, your emotions are true to yourself. You do not need to turn away."
Trip nodded and looked up at Archer. Stalen followed his stare. "Yes, Jonathon is also upset, as is T'Pol. We must all provide the support they need to make the correct decisions for Jon."
'Its just so unfair.'
"Yes, it is." Trip jerked up to look at Stalen, he didn't think he had said that out loud. "But that does not make it less true or correct."
Trip looked back at Stalen, "Now what?"
CONTINUED IN PART 51