Sword-chan- Yet another InuYasha fanfiction I made to screw up the characters... keep in mind I don't have all the manga... ::curses:: So a few characters are missing... Like... erm Kouga get's a girlfriend somewhere, I believe... ::tries to remember forum postings:: So... Turn on the T.V and see what I have in store! Bum bum bum! FEUDAL T.V NETWORK!! Fear channel 0000000000000.00000000008!!! I'm only using characters that go in the feudal era, by the way... o.k, I'll probably push Grandpa and Souta in there but... 0.o Whatever. Turn on that T.V. Again, characters are sort of out of character. Blame it on my randomness.
I don't own InuYasha, however, I DO own Shippou-chan's tail. ::evil grin::
X.x.X- Start!-X.x.X
Sword-chan- ::comes in wearing tattered and ripped kimono from Yes We're Messed Up And PROUD fanfic:: HA! It wasn't easy but I managed to find a way to make an electricity outlet and bring in a T.V!
Kagome- YES! I thought I'd never be able to see one of these for a while, now that it's SUMMER and I have no excuse to go back to modern-day-Japan!
InuYasha- Well that makes me feel special... ::note saracasm::
Shippou- AH! GIANT BOX!
Miroku- What IS this odd contraption?
Sword-chan- It's a T.V I tinkered around with and now we get to... ::is cut off by loud whooshing sound::
T.V- Oh, fickle fate! Why do I have to have THESE people in me? ::sigh:: Oh well ::pulls in all characters, including Sword-chan::
Kirara- ::floats lifelessly into T.V::
Shippou- AAH! KAGOME! DEMON! DEEEMONN! ::clings to Kagome's leg as they are pulled in the T.V::
Sword-chan- WHOOT! THIS IS FUN!
Shippou- ::is still cowering over said demented t.v::
Kagome- Sword-chan! You never said anything about bringing a POSSESSED T.V!!
InuYasha- I've seen worse swirling vortexes that pull you into worlds unknown...
Sword-chan- Good for you 0.o Oh look, there goes Kanna, Kagura, and Naraku... he looks pissed...
Naraku- Damnit I was using those dolls to roleplay the day InuYasha days and Kagome becomes Kikyou and we love forever.
Sword-chan- ... That's just wrong, Naraku... even though I made you say it.
Kanna- I really don't care...
Kagura- ::rides feather:: WHUUUUU!!!!!
Miroku- ::shrugs and gropes Sango, who doesn't notice due to being pulled into a box:: ::grin::
Sword-chan- I've stressed this scene enough. ::claps:: Let's land!
All- ::land::
Sango- ::finally notices Miroku:: DIE! DIE YOU SICK, SICK MONK! SIC HIM, KIRARA!
Kirara- ::big Kirara!:: RAWR!!!
Miroku- ::scuttles away::
Sword-chan- LETS START! O.K, O.K, we're on our fall lineup, and it's Friday, meaning you get to do a lot of random stuff at 3:00 PM. Got it? We start at 7:00 AM. START!
First program- 7:00- 7:30- Get in one last pointless show before being pushed off to school.
We know see Shesho-Maru and InuYasha standing in a big, white room. Over their heads is a sign that says 'Big, Fluffy, Loving, Extremely Hot, Dog People!'
InuYasha- Like I would...
Shesho-Maru- HOT? Wha--? INUYASHA! DIE, HALF BROTHER!
InuYasha- ::sticks out tounge:: I'm better looking than you. Feh. You can't kill me. Rabid fangirls simply would not have it.
Rabid fangirls- ::watch show with big sparkly eyes hoping they'll get into a blood spilling fight that results in one of them having to bandage wounds in their own shirt::
Shesho-Maru- 0.o Not gonna happen. You can all go home now... ah... um... what are we supposed to do?
InuYasha- ::thinks:: Hows about we run around in circles screaming 'YAY!!'?
Shesho-Maru- That'd work.
Both- ::runs around in circles screaming 'YAAAAY!!! WHEEE!!'::
Twenty minutes later...
InuYasha- hoarse voice from screaming ::pants:: That... was... um... ah, fun...
Shesho-Maru- ::tries to say something but can't, due to temporary voice loss::
InuYasha- Um... yeah... well... our times almost up... ::puts on amazingly pleasant smile:: Well kiddies, that's all for now! Have fun at school! Get into fights with your teacher over that D- you'll get on a math test!
Shesho-Maru- ::grumble:: Not... helping...
InuYasha- ::sees cue card:: NO! NO! NO! I may have ran around in circles screaming 'YAY WHEE!' with him but THAT is where I draw the line! I WILL NOT HUG WHILE SINGING 'WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY!'! NOOO!
Sword-chan- ::comes in, very angry:: That's it, you're eating up other programs time! DRASTIC MEASURE TIME! ::gets out lifesize InuYasha and Shesho-Maru dolls:: GOODBYE REAL INUYASHA AND SHESHOMARU! ::pushes them off the stage:: HELLO DOLLS! ::pushes dolls together in hug:: Hmm... InuYasha... would you like to DANCE? ::makes the InuYasha doll nod:: Really? ::waltzes around the set with the doll until the credits roll::
Lord Fluffy Of Love- Shesho-Maru (Which either means Destructer Man or Rock-paper-sisscors. O.O;;)
Fluffly Huggly Puppy- Inu-Yasha (Oh COME ON. You know it means dog foresty spirity whatachmakaillit! And yet, I did a dictionary search and, I quote- yasha
(n) female demon O.O;;;)
End program!
Now that the kiddies are gone who go into...
MIROKU'S TALK SHOW! (8 AM- 9 AM. But this is cut very short due to Sango...)
Miroku- ::walks in and sits at desk, gesturing and waving as a wave of fake applause greets him:: Hello, viewers. Today we have a great variety of things. Our special guests include Jaken, Myoga, and the ho—I mean, SANGO! ::cue theme song::
It's the Mi-ro-ku-u show! MI-RO-O-KU-U SHOW-EE-O! ::random notes from a saxiphone:: ::repeat first two sentences for a few minutes::
Miroku- Ah, yes, I love that song... LET'S BRING OUT OUR FIRST GUEST, JAKEN!
Jaken- ::scuttles out, waving:: Hello all! Wonderful to see you! ::wave wave wave:: ::blows kisses to particularly beautiful lady in audience::
PBLIA- ::shudders and turns away in utter nausea::
Jaken- Pah... ::glares:: Anyways... Hi Miroku! It's a—hang on ::struggles to climb into oversized chair, which looks rather strange considering he's very small in comparison to the chair::
Miroku- I understand you have a stick with heads!
Jaken- It's not a STICK it's a—
Miroku- ::jumps up and down:: WAITAMINUTE! I KNOW WHAT IT IS! IT'S A MAGIC STICK WITH HEADS!
Jaken- NO ITS—
Miroku- You bore me. ::picks Jaken up by the leg and throws him to audience:: Anyways, our next guest is MYOGA!
Staff guy- ::whisper:: Um... he was sort of exterminated before his segment...
Miroku- YAAAY! WE GET TO BRING IN MY FUTURE WI—MY TRAVELING TEAMMATE, SANGO!
Sango- ::is pushed on stage:: Dangit...
Miroku- ::walks up to Sango and wraps arms around her:: Ah, Sango, I missed you so!
Sango- u.u; Um. Release me... please...
Miroku- Neh. Fine. Spoil sport. Please, sit down and we can... ::air quotes:: ... interview you.
Sango- Um... ::has pretty good idea of what will happen:: O.K, then. ::sits as far away from Miroku as possible:: 0.0
Miroku- Question number one... would you consider dating me?
Sango- u.u;
Miroku- Question number two... if the date goes well, would you consider MARRYING me?
Sango- Actua—
Miroku- ::is overly excited:: AND IF THAT GOES WELL AND WE HAVE A GOOD MATTRESS WILL YOU BEAR MY CHILD?
Sango- OUR child. Agh! Wait! NO! NO! ::prepares to slap him::
Miroku- HA! ::puts on hockey goaly mask:: I WAS PREPARED! ALSO... do you prefer orange or blue?
Sango- EW! THAT'S IT YOU—
Miroku- u.u I was talking about redecorating the set, Sango.
Sango- Oh! ::sits down, hands folded:: In that case I prefer a combination of orange and blue, actually. You can learn more about it on Home-making With Sango!
Miroku- Do they have FAMILY Making With Sango? Because if so I would very much like to be a guest on that show...
Sango- THAT'S IT YOUR GOING DOWN YOU—
We'll be right back! ::elevator music plays momentarily::
We know get an image of Sango, hiding her hands behind her back. There is no Miroku. O.O;;
Sango- And that's a wrap! Tune in on Monday for another show!
Viewers- ::stare lifelessly:: That was... pointless...
Advice From Kikyou (--) (9 AM to 9:30 AM)
We see Kikyou seated on a futon, trying to look halfway causual.
Kikyou- Let's get to it. Our first letter comes from someone who calls himself 'Inu-Yasha Shall Devour Naraku'. Hm, wonder who it could be? ::glance at Inu-Yasha::. Inu-Yasha Shall Devour Naraku writes,
Dear Kikyou,
I'm afraid a certain monk (::all turn to Miroku::) is going to go on a molesting spree (O.O;;). How can I convince myself that A) He will not molest the girl I kissed in movie 2 (Dubbies- What movie two? People who hath seen it- ::nod and look at Kagome::)- you can never be to sure, no matter what he said B) He will NOT have multiple children with different people!
Kikyou- Well, Inu-Yasha Shall Devour Naraku, you sound PROTECTIVE. My advice is to get to her before he does. -.-
Sword-chan- WHAT? You CAN'T be serious?
Kikyou- ... I'm not...
Sword-chan- What's your real advice, then!?!?!?
Kikyou- ... get therapy. -.-
Inu-Yasha- I DID NOT write that!
Sword-chan- ::evil grin:: I wrote it for you. ---
Inu-Yasha- I will KILL YOU!
Miroku- What? I don't go on molesting sprees!
Sword-chan- And... now I know why I only have four friends in real life...
Miroku- Indeed you do... ::evil eyes::
Sword-chan- Umm... Kikyou, why don't you go onto the next letter? I'll be cowering in fear as InuYasha screams at me -
Inu-Yasha- ::shrugs and goes to yell at Sword-chan::
Kikyou- O.K... the next letter if from I Hate Poison Bug Thing-a-ma-bobs.
I Hate Poison Bug Thing-a-ma-bobs writes,
I'm deathly terrified of a girl I love after nearly being killed by her on live tel--- whatever you call it. O.O;; What to do?
Kikyou- My advice? Seriously? Scare her.
Sango- I know who wrote that... and he's already scared her... with his HAND!
Miroku- Ah... um... ;; I didn't write that! It was... it was SHIPPOU!
Shippou- ::is doing the square dance with Kanna:: Hmm??
Sword-chan- ::comes in with fingers in ears:: It wasn't Shippou...
Miroku- AHA! SHE WROTE IT! SHE WROTE IT!
Sword-chan- NO I DIDNT AND STOP YELLING! EAR DAMAGING! ::falls over::
Miroku- -.- I can't get away with anything, nowadays. ::moves hand towards Sango's bottom::
Sango- -.- ::karate chops Miroku on the head-
Miroku- See what I mean?
Kikyou- ::glare:: Excuse me... I would like to read the last letter... . It's from 'Afraid of Dieing'. How traumatic.
Kikyou,
I'm about to die and I'm afraid a 'phantom priestess' is going to take my soul.
What on earth shall I do?
Kikyou- 0.0 Simple. Don't die.
Sword-chan- That was... boring...
Audience- ::nods::
Kikyou- Well, it seems I have to go and find some souls and new ways to hate InuYasha so I can stay bound to this world. Good bye.
AROBICS WITH MYOGA! (9:30 AM to 10 AM)
Myoga- HI ALL! WE'RE HERE TO GET THOSE MUSCLES MOVING! ::plays energetic music mainly consisting of- shaka laka shaka laka 'GET MOVING' shaka laka laka shak laka lak shaka:: LET'S MOVE! Jump to the left! The right now! Now backwards! FORWARD! SHAKE THAT THANG! And stretch down! Whoo! Now my lovely assistent will help me! Enter Shippou!!
Shippou- ::grumbles about how he wasn't this desperate to make an appearance::
Myoga- LETS GO! HOP UP! AND DOWN! UP DOWN UP DOWN! Sliiiide to the left! Sliiiide to the right! ::adds for the heck of it:: CHA CHA NOW! (Remember that song? Bum bum, two hops this time! Two hops this time! Sliiiide to the left! BUM BUM. Sliiide to the right BUM BUM cha cha now. Bum de dum dum de da dum!)
Audience- ::stares at the currently cha-chaing flea::
Myoga- Oops! COMMERCIAL BREAK! ::plops down and dumps green tea down his nearly invisible nose::
Shippou- ?.? Ooo... kaay...
COMMERCIAL!
We see Kouga sitting in a field, sipping some brownish tea.
Kouga- Being in a wolf pack, we travel a lot! I'm just the fastest...
Sword-chan- ::bops Kouga on head with mallet:: STAY ON TOPIC! ::evil eyes::
Kouga- Fine fine... ::grumbles:: when I'm on the go, I drink Supa-kool I-C T. Oh, I'm so 'kool' now. Blah blah blah, we're done.
End commercial (Imagine if it was an infomercial...)
Shippou- What's iced tea? Is it a cold letter?
Myoga- TT No. It's a drink
Shippou- TT yourself. ::squashes Myoga and walks away::
Will Myoga ever get a break? O.o;; Guess not.
X.x.X- END!- X.x.X
Sword-chan- TADA! I JUST TORTURED MORE CHARACTERS! If I get any reviews- which I wont', I'm sure- I'll do a chappie two. It'll feature Kanna, Naraku, Kagura, more Kouga, Kagome, more fluffly Shesho-Maru and InuYasha, Sango (HomeMaking with Sango! ), perhaps Ayame, and many more! Like the Soul Piper! Muahaha I remember it like it was yesterday. I was 7 years old, staying up late, when an episode of InuYasha came on... it was the one with the soul piper. I was really confused of course, because I had no idea what the heck it was and thought it was a mixed up version of Sailor Moon (With Kagome's uniform o.O)... yeah. I slept restlessly that night... o.o;;
Soul Piper- ::glares::