Author note Sorry for not updating in a while! I've just been busy with school and I kind of thought the first chapter was stupid, but since people like it I will go with it. It's going to be kind of AU from now on-All of the events through Something Wicca This Way Comes and Once in a Blue Moon have occurred. Everything else that happens after those episodes won't be true to the actual show. The Avatars are evil in this version. Anyway, thank you for your patronage. Have any suggestions AIM me at bored2317, send me an e-mail at , or contact me through MSN Messenger:
Bole: Piper, I really don't want any more food.
Piper: Nonsense. Here, have some pancakes.
Bole: Piper.....
Piper: Eat the pancakes, damn it! Slams plate with a stack of about 20 pancakes and syrup on table
Bole: whimpers Yes Ma'am.
Piper turns around to wash some dishes. Bole waves his arm and the pancakes disappear.
Bole: All done.
Piper: Now it's time for your dessert.
Bole: Desert? With breakfast?
Piper: Yes! Desert with breakfast! Why the hell is it so hard for people to comprehend that they can have desert with breakfast! Blows table up
Bole shouts out and falls to the ground. Piper immediately starts flinging out her hands as various sensitive body parts of his blow up and come back together. Eventually Bole shimmers out crying.
Piper: Hmmph. Ungrateful demon.
Cut to the Bay Mirror
Phoebe is reading a letter.
Dear Phoebe,
Hi. You may not have heard of me. I'm Alyssa Milano, an actress on a hit TV show on the WB. Anyway, several fans of the show seem to think the character I portray is....self centered and egocentric. Do you think this is true? Watch the WB on Sunday in the evening and tell me what you think.
A confused Actress.
Phoebe jumped up and down in joy and wrote a reply:
Dear Alyssa,
I definitely don't think so. The character you portray is a very very wonderful person, with the best fashion sense and the best taste in men! It looks as if she has never been to McDonalds...food is so horrid, it adds weight to a person. It is just so horrible. I think we should all worship her. Her older sister is such a martyr and needs to lighten up. A suggestion of mine though is there should be more scenarios where you try to get her in as little clothing as possible.
Sincerely,
Phoebe Halliwell
Phoebe quickly ran to the outbox and deposited the letter there. She began to run back to her office but ran into Elise.
Elise: Phoebe! Bad girl! Go to your office!
Phoebe: sniff Yes ma'am.
cut to magic school
Paige is walking through the hallway reading a HP book.
Paige: Wow. This Magic School certainly seems a lot like Hogwarts......JKR must be ripping this place off!
Mrs. Winterbourne runs up: Paige! Glad I found you. Wyatt has went on a rampage again....he orbed out to another country I think.
Paige: Oh don't worry.....we always let him use magic and risk exposure and never tell him it's wrong.....hard to believe he turns evil in the future, isn't it?
Mrs. Winterbourne: Err...whatever.... walks off
Paige: sigh I have a sudden urge to meet Prue about now. gets idea
Meanwhile Leo is running around in circles on top of the Golden Gate Bridge while being chased by a floating head.
Leo: Leave me alone! AHH! falls off and is too stupid to orb, hits ground
Leo: Ouchies....gets ran over multiple times while the floating head hovers above him laughing
Leo sees Phoebe running towards him. Her fun bags are bouncing up and down.
Leo: The horror! No! Make it stop! Please! Oh make it stop! AHH! MAKE IT STOP!!!!!! cries while Phoebe drags him off of the bridge, at which point they accidentally fall and plunge into the water below. Leo is still too stupid to orb them out
Meanwhile Piper is chasing Bole throughout the house.
Piper: All you had to do was not question the damn dessert!
Bole: I'm sorry. I'll be good...but please, don't hurt me....
Piper: Will you never question me again?
Bole:...no mommy.
Piper: Very well then...now fix the table! points to kitchen
Bole walks to kitchen, head hanging down while muttering under his breath.
Piper: What was that!?
Bole: Nothing!