Chapter Five

Of Letters, Tears, Charms, and Transfers

Author's Note: WARNING! This chapter contains dark angst-y stuff. BE WARNED BEFOREHAND! Mentions of rape, abuse, and disturbing content--especially at the end. Be warned. Thank you very much.

The Tutor

It was the following Monday morning when Lily was brushing her teeth, getting ready for the school day, when the letter arrived. The letter arrived with Lily's own tawny owl, Anne.

Sunny popped her head into the washroom and smiled at the frantic redhead. "Anne's arrived with a letter, Lils. From your Mum and Dad, I suppose?"

Lily turned and grinned at her friend, foam on her lips. She bent down, spit into the sink, wiped her mouth on a towel, and followed Sunny into the dorm. Lily nodded, her long hair tied into a high tight ponytail, which swung as she nodded.

"I sent them a letter ages ago. They were probably on a business trip in the Americas and couldn't receive my owl. I do hope they got me that shirt I was looking at on our trip last year," she said as she slipped out of her pajamas and into her school uniform.

AJ and Lindsay gathered around her bed with Sunny while Lily threw her robe on and gathered her books and put them into her sack. Lily took the letter from Anne who hooted at her owner. The tawny owl flew back out the open window.

A seal she didn't recognize sealed the letter and a formal 'Miss Lillian Evans' was scripted on the front. With dread settling in her stomach, she opened the envelope and took out four pieces of paper. The first one was from her parents.

Pumpkin,

I do hope your year has started off wonderfully and that you're studying hard! We expect top grades from you and your sister. Nothing less than top suits an Evans girl like yourself and Petunia, Lily. They may be tough standards, but you're a brilliant girl, and we don't want that brain of yours becoming dormant!

Everything here is superb, dear! Vernon Dursley has proposed to Petty and she's accepted! Our Petty is getting married! She's asked that you be a bridesmaid, dear.

At the end of this letter, she'll provide a little post script.

We love you, Lily. Have fun this year! Study hard!

Love,

Mum and Dad

PS: Lily, from Mum's pestering and constant chattering, I've decided to let you be a bridesmaid. The wedding is on October 20. Arrive with a date and your old green dress you wore to Aunt Elisabeth's wedding. Green is the color of the bridesmaid's dresses.

Petunia

Lily smiled at the letter while AJ snorted.

"Read the others," Lindsay urged. The other girls nodded their agreement. Lily nodded and picked up another letter.

Dear Miss Lillian Evans,

We are sad to tell you that your parents have perished at the hands of the Dark Lord late last night. We arrived at your house in time to see the Dark Mark being put atop your house. We tried to capture the Death Eaters, but we failed.

The Evans estate is left to you. Your sister Petunia Evans has a home with fiancé Vernon Dursley.

With deepest sympathy,

Morton Aspen

Minister of Magic

Her friends who had gathered around her to read the letter hugged her, crying for her and the death of her parents-two people who meant the world to Lily.

Lily, however, did not notice the comforting hugs. Her mind was wrapped around the thought that her parents were dead. Her mother would never smile again, laugh again, rush her hair, or gasp with excitement when she entered Diagon Alley. Her father would never chuckle at Lily's jokes again; he would never ruffle her hair, call her Pumpkin, kiss her goodnight, or stand on her side in her fights with Petunia. They were dead. To be put in the ground. Six feet under. And it was all because of one man. A human being had killed her parents. Though the man was evil, he was human.

How had he killed them? she thought, anger boiling inside her like lave flowing from a volcano. Did he rape her mother? Screw her until she pleaded for death? Salty tears coursed down her face as she broke down, the impact of her parents' death hitting her hard.

"Lindsay," Lily suddenly croaked after five minutes of gut-wrenching sobs, "what do the others say?"

"Are you sure you want me to read them?" asked Lindsay apprehensively, still hugging her friend.

Lily nodded and Lindsay freed herself from the hug-fest and sat down on Lily's bed. She picked up the two remaining letters and scanned them. Her eyebrows rose.

"One's a letter from your sister Petunia. It has a lot of cursing in it. She calls you a freak and... well, blames you for your mum and dad's death. Which you did not cause, Lily--everyone knows that You-Know-Who goes after Muggles. You didn't cause this. The other is from..." Lindsay gasped and her eyes became round. "The other is from the Minister himself! Minister Aspen says something about their funeral... it's being held at Groves Cemetery on October fifteenth-which is tomorrow. He asks you to attend and bring a friend or two for a shoulder to cry on. You'll have to ask permission to go to it, but I'm sure he'll allow you... if you want to go, that is."

Lily wiped the tears from her face and eyes and sniffled loudly. Lindsay reached over to Lily's night side table and plucked a tissue from a box and handed it to Lily. She smiled feebly at Lindsay and blew her nose.

"I'm going to my parents' funeral and nobody--not even You-Know-Who--can stop me. Not even Petunia."

The girls smiled at their friend and Sunny kissed Lily's forehead. "That's our girl. Now, can we go get something to eat? I think my stomach is about to drop dead."

~*~

During breakfast, Ravenclaws shot her sympathetic glances, Hufflepuffs had no idea what was going on, the Slytherins sneered at her, and the Gryffindors kept their distance, knowing full well that a sad Lily was not a very good Lily to toy with. Lily didn't mind that the other Gryffindors practically ignored her; she was rather glad to have them not notice the tears on her face.

The Marauders, however, noticed instantly that something was askew. Remus saw the tears first and dropped into a seat beside Lily and put his arm around her.

"Lily," he said in Tell-Uncle-Remus voice, "what's the matter?"

James, Sirius, and Peter gathered around the girls and nodded.

AJ shushed them as Lily broke down and Lindsay and Sunny comforted her. She leaned forward, catching the attention of Ashley who scooted down towards them.

"It's Lily's parents," she whispered. AJ shot a look to Lily and sighed. "I don't know if I should tell you, but, well--" Whatever AJ was going to tell them got cut off as Dumbledore rose from his seat at the Head Table. He silenced the quiet chatter with one hand.

"It is my sad duty to tell you that a student's parents last night were murdered by Lord Voldemort," he said, and the students flinched and a few First Years shrieked as if Voldemort was in the room now, pointing his wand at him or her, and one even wetted his pants. Dumbledore pretended to not notice. "They were muggles and Lily Evans' parents."

A long drawn out sniffle was heard from Lily and Dumbledore left it at that.

Ashley's mouth was wide with shock, Remus was shaking his head, Sirius was wolfing down food, Peter was looking strangely pale, and James was staring intensely at Lily. Inside James was trembling with fury that Voldemort was after muggles again. He thought he'd left them alone after a few attacks on pureblood families that opposed him, but he was attacking defenseless muggles again... His cousin Florence Potter came to mind--she'd died in an attack on a muggle mall in which she was buying him a birthday present. He'd blamed himself for months, thinking that if he was born on another day, Florence wouldn't have had to go to the mall and die.

"I know what you're thinking," he spoke quietly to her. The group around him became quiet. Lily sniffled and looked up at him. "My cousin... Florence... I blamed myself. If it wasn't my birthday then she wouldn't have had to die. I know you're thinking that if you weren't a witch and hadn't come to Hogwarts you'd be at home right now enjoying a breakfast with your mother and father about to head to some muggle school."

Lily blushed and looked down, tears filling her eyes.

He continued, "But it's not your fault. Your friends might have tried to tell you, but I know first hand, Evans. You were meant to be a witch and do great things--you were not meant to be a muggle. Just like Florence was meant to die that night. Everything works in a mysterious way, Evans. You just have to live with its choices."

"Thank you," Lily said thickly, blinking back tears. "Thank you very much."

James shrugged and began eating like a dog. "'S no problem."

Lily leaned back to avoid the food flying from his mouth.

"Attention students!" cried Professor McGonagall. Peter blushed heavily when he glanced at the smirking AJ. "We have two new students."

Flitwick brought the Sorting Hat to her and she flashed him a rare smile which made the Charms professor topple over in shock. The Hall erupted in laughter but quickly died at McGonagall's death glare. Two girls stepped forward.

"Runsinak, Alexandra," McGonagall said. A girl with blonde hair hesitantly stepped forward and closed her eyes as McGonagall placed the hat on her head.

"GRYFFINDOR!" it shouted after a minute's consideration. McGonagall pointed to a table and the girl rushed forward, blushing. She sat down next to Kayla and Alice.

"Freeman, Mary Kathleen."

Sunny, being the extremely curious person she was, asked the girls, "Why're you come here?"

The girl named Alexandra blinked at her and tore herself away from her conversation with Mary Kathleen. "Our parents moved here from Russia."

Mary Kathleen nodded and poked at her scalloped potatoes. "Yes. I'm sorry if our being here bothers you."

"It's not that," Sunny said hastily. "We're just not used to seeing transfer students here."

"Oh," Mary Kathleen said, smiling at her. "Back at our old school, we got them all the time back in Russia. Durmstrang attracts a lot of dark wizards."

Remus leaned forward and looked at her, while Lily pushed his hair out of her soup. "You come from Durmstrang? I hear that's a school for the Dark Arts."

"It can be," Alexandra said. "I'm Alex and she's called Mary K. What are your names?"

"I'm Remus Lupin, and these are my fellow Marauders James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew. Those girls are Kayla Valmont, Alice Barnes, Lily Evans, Sunny Cash, Alyssa Jean Miller, Lindsay Bryant, and Ashley Minent."

"Very nice to meet you all," they both smiled. "This place is spectacular. In Durmstrang, the décor was very dark and had an eerie feeling, but this place feels like…"

"Home?" asked Lily, her eyes on her plate.

"Yes. Already."

"I want to go home." Lily ignored her friends' looks, grabbed her bag, and headed to Potions.

~*~

The first class of the morning for the Marauders was Charms and James was dreading it. As he and Remus walked down the corridor to small Professor Flitwick's classroom, James shot a look to Remus. When Remus gazed questioningly at him, he shook his head and entered the classroom and sat in his assigned seat next to Remus.

Remus busied himself with looking over his homework.

"Emily, can we talk for a minute?" asked James, whispering to her, scooting his chair closer to Emily Granger's table.

The brunette briefly looked up and nodded sharply. Emily put down her book on Mysteries Surrounding the Four Founders and put a hand under her chin. "Go on," she said.

James looked around for Flitwick who was about to begin his lesson. "I don't do well with Charms. I suck at Charms. I'm going to fail Charms. I need help. Who can I get it from?"

Emily rolled her eyes, "Who's the top person in Charms, James?"

"You are, but you're… a girl, Em. I don't want help from a girl," James whined. Emily's eyes flashed and James quickly began talking. "You're not the top person--"

"I'm not?" snapped Emily, gripping her wand.

"No, the top person happens to be Lily Evans."

Emily smiled and pinched James' cheek until it turned a bright cherry red. She rolled her blue eyes and sat back in her chair. "So there's your solution, Jamie-boy. Ask Evans for help and quit whining to me about how you 'suck' at Charms or I'll make sure you suck at something else." She eyed her wand and James quickly pushed his chair back to Remus.

"What was that about?"

James sighed and pulled his Charms essay out as Flitwick strode by, standing on his tiptoes to take it. "I asked Emily what I could do about my grades in Charms. She said to get Evans to help me. But she's Evans-how am I supposed to ask her to help me? The man-" Remus snickered at this heartily "-that practically tortured her for six years."

Remus slapped his friend on the back, still snickering. "Prongs, buddy, you just walk up to her. Like this," Remus ran a hand through his hair, messing it up, trying to look like James. With a deeper voice, he said, "Lily, you're the love of my life, I beg you-you have to get down on one knee, Prongs and gaze into her eyes-to tutor me in Charms. I will forever be in your debt. I will kiss your arse and become your own personal bum sniffer."

"Really? I say all that?" James asked stupidly, his eyes wide before he realized what Remus was saying. His eyes narrowed and he glared at his snorting friend. "Watch it, Moony, or a friend of yours just might find out something that you don't wish for her to find out."

"You wouldn't!" Remus hissed, horrified that she might find out he liked her.

James cocked an eyebrow. "Yes, I would, and you bloody well know it."

Remus shook his head and smiled. "Here, you just go up to Lily and ask her for help. Not to be her personal bum sniffer, just for help in Charms. Lily's a sensible girl-she'll say yes."

"Potter, Lupin, quiet it down," Flitwick squeaked, standing by James' desk.

James was startled at his high pitched squeak and his right leg twitched and shot out in front of him, making Flitwick run headlong into it. Flitwick fell back onto the floor and bounced a few times before collapsing on the floor in a heap.

The professor started giggling. "Looks like my Bouncing Charm worked perfectly! Ten points to Gryffindor!"

Remus and James looked at each other, eyebrows raised, before opening their Charms textbook.

~*~


Transfiguration came and passed, as two other classes before lunch, in which James had promised himself and Remus that he would ask Lily for help in Charms. While he was hesitant about it, James knew that Lily was his first and last hope. He just hoped she would say yes.

"McGonagall nearly bit of my head when she saw my homework," AJ said, munching on a turkey sandwich, mustard falling from the sides. She brought a finger to her lips and licked off the mustard. "She said I needed to work on how I write things. Old batty woman, she is. I write perfectly."

"Sunny," I said brightly before AJ could continue and piss of Lindsay who partly admired McGonagall for keeping us in order. "How's life?"

She glanced at me oddly before launching into a story about how her mother had written her a letter, complaining about the two pounds she had gained.

It felt like my heart had stopped when Sunny mentioned Mrs. Cash. I knew she hadn't meant to mention it, but it still hurt like hell. It really hurt. Sunny saw the hurt on my face and instantly began apologizing.

"Oh God, Lily, I am so sorry! I didn't think!"

I shook my head and sniffled. "It's all right, Sunny. Life can't stop because my mum and dad are dead. You can talk about your parents. It just hurts knowing that I'll never see them again."

Lindsay hurriedly changed the topic before I could burst into tears. I don't know how she does it, but it's sort of like she can read my mind at times. Like when I'm not comfortable or sad or angry. I feel a sisterly bond with Lindsay that I don't feel with AJ or Sunny. I love them both, but Lindsay's different.

Sirius slid into the seat beside Sunny and grinned at each of us in turn. He took AJ's turkey sandwich and took a bite out of it and then gave it back to her. AJ slapped him upside the head while grinning.

"So, Lillers," Sirius began and I frowned at him. I hate it when people call me Lillers or Lilykins, and he knows it. "Jimmy boy has something he wants to say to you, isn't that right, Moony?"

Remus, who had slid into the seat by AJ nodded and sent an amused look my way. Little butterflies filled my stomach and I paled considerably. Was James planning to prank me? Was he planning to humiliate me by telling the school some horrid secret of mine?

As if sensing my nervousness, Sirius shook his head. "Nothing terrible, Lillers, just something-"

"School related," James supplied, turning me around. I snickered at his nervous face before nodding at him. He pulled me up and out of the Great Hall. He shut the door and leaned on it.

"Lily, I'm asking you… no laughing, please… Could you tutor me?"

I gaped at him. James Potter was asking me-lowly little Lily Evans, orphan, and all around nerd-to tutor him! James Potter, Quidditch Captain, all around popular guy, handsome seventeen years old guy. My face contorted at that thought. I thought James Potter was handsome?

"Bloody hell," I muttered, brushing a stray strand of hair out of my eyes.

James stuttered, "It's all right if you don't. I'll just ask Emily or swing it. It's no problem. None at all. Really."

"It's not that," I said, shaking my head. "I'm just… a little confused. Um, what subject?"

"Subject?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Yes, subject. What subject would I be tutoring you in?"

"Oh! That! Charms," he laughed nervously. Suddenly his eyes bulged and he shook my shoulders. "You mean you'll tutor me?"

"Yes," I snickered, "I'll tutor you. But on one condition."

He nodded. "Anything."

"You come with me to my parents' funeral."

"Deal."

"Wear black, I don't want you standing out."

"I've been to funerals, Evans, I know to wear black."

"Oh, Potter, you're so thick-I only meant that because of your stupidity you'd probably wear bright yellow leather pants with a bright green shirt and an afro."

"Good to know you're still the same Evans, Evans."

We laughed and headed back into the Great Hall and sat down with our friends, munching on food, laughing at Sirius' jokes, almost feeling as if our lives were normal.

~*~

(Third person's point of view)

Minerva McGonagall tapped her shoe against the stone floor and looked around the room crossly. How was it that only she had remembered the professor's staff meeting? She sniffed angrily and pursed her lips when the door opened and several men and women rushed into Dumbledore's office.

"It's about bloody time you all arrived!" she shrieked, throwing her arms out. "Where's Albus?"

Professor Flitwick climbed up on a table and sat there, twiddling his thumbs. "Sorry, Minerva, we got held back by Severus Snape. He was pushing a First Year's head into a toilet. Took one hundred points from Slytherin and served him with a month's detention with Filch."

McGonagall sighed and plopped down into a seat.

Cornelius Finch, Head of Slytherin House, curled his upper lip and sneered at Flitwick. "I do not care what happened with the First Year-you should not have taken points away from my House."

"I merely took them away because a student was acting-"

"Quiet!" demanded Albus, walking into the room. "We are not meeting here because of an act Mr. Snape committed-we are here to talk about Lord Voldemort."

McGonagall flinched as did everyone else in the room.

"My dear professors, it is only a name. But you may choose to call him whatever you wish," Dumbledore spoke, sitting himself at the head position at the table. He surveyed his colleagues. "I assume you all know about Voldemort's up rise and his attack on Randy and Joan Evans?"

"Of course we have," Finch snapped. "It's in the bloody paper and you announced it yourself."

Dumbledore ignored Finch's comments.

"Lily Evans asked permission to go to her parents' funeral tomorrow, Dumbledore. She has asked that Lindsay Bryant accompany her. She said she would have one other companion, but she has yet to ask them. I said that it was fine," McGonagall reported.

Dumbledore nodded.

Finch slammed his fist onto the table from anger, which made Flitwick topple over and off the table. He chuckled and muttered something about falling too much as he climbed back up.

"Something disturbs me, Albus," said Professor Joey Holmes of Divination. "I have Seen something that is greatly disturbing."

McGonagall pursed her lips and her nostrils flared at the mention of Divination, but knew that Joey was an outstanding Seer. The tension in the room grew thick as Joey explained.

"Last night, while grading the children's papers, I had a sudden urge to look into my crystal ball. I did so, and what I Saw… it is horrendous. Many people will die from this war. Many great and prosperous people. Some so young, some old, and some just children. But what stood out, Albus, was one girl. She will be the first to light the candle."

"Light the candle?" Finch asked snidely.

Joey ignored him, like so many of the teachers did. She sighed. "A student here is a Death Eater. A young woman. She is in His Inner Circle."

"Who is it, Joey?"

"Alas, I cannot See. My Eye will only take me so far." She sighed and rubbed her temples. Suddenly, her head snapped up and her eyes brightened. "Sybil Trelawney has shown great significance with her Eye. I shall get her and ask her to look in my ball. She may See who the young traitor is!"

Dumbledore nodded, "Then it is settled. Tomorrow we will talk with Miss Trelawney and see if she Sees anything. Now, about Mr. Snape…"

~*~

The next morning, October 15, Lily was dressed in a black dress with a cloak over it. She was pacing the Gryffindor Common Room, waiting for James and Lindsay to wake up. Her red hair was down, with two small braids pinned at the back and curled. Her mother had always loved Lily's hair pinned like that.

The portrait hole opened and McGonagall walked in, holding rolls of parchment. Her eyes widened when she spotted Lily.

"Miss Evans!" she exclaimed. "What on earth are you doing up this early?"

"Waiting for Lindsay and James," Lily said crossly, sitting carefully in a chair. She sighed and stared at the clock above the fireplace.

McGonagall briefly looked at the clock. "It's only six a.m., Miss Evans. The train leaves in five hours. I must leave to attend to a matter of business, but do give these to Professor Finch, Evans."

Lily nodded, stood, and took the load from her professor's arms and left the Common Room with her.

Her shoes made clicking sounds as the heels contacted with the stone floors as she made her way to the dungeons. She mentally cursed herself for wearing heels. Lily turned a corridor and spotted Finch talking with Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape. She backtracked and leaned against the wall, hoping they wouldn't be able to see her. Suddenly a hand pressed itself against her mouth, muffling her surprised shriek and a sheet of some kind fell across her.

"Shut up, Evans, don't let them hear you!" hissed James, his hand still on Lily's mouth.

Lily took in a deep breath and removed his hand. She didn't ask what the sheet was, but kept her eyes glued to the scene before her.

"He wishes to speak with you, Severus," Finch spoke, casually looking around the corridor.

Snape's eyes went round and it looked as if he suppressed a shudder. "He… he d-does? I didn't do a thing! I swear!" His voice rose to high pitched shrieks.

Finch smacked Snape upside the head. "Hush, fool! Dumbledore is already suspecting, we do not want to give him proof!"

"Yes, sir," Snape moaned, rubbing his head. "I'm sorry, sir. Do you think he wants me to… kill?"

"How in the bloody hell should I know? He told me to inform you to be in the Forest at midnight tonight. We do not talk back, Severus, as you should know." Finch leered at Snape who blushed brightly, almost making Lily sick to her stomach at the color on his face.

Malfoy shuffled his feet and cleared his throat. "What did he say about the Evans woman?"

Lily and James froze.

"He will be awarding you," sneered Finch, his eyes glittering with malice. "Last night, he remarked about how well… you… did her parents in. Such a sight, he told me, her blood on your hands."

Whimpering quietly, Lily's knees gave out and fell back against James. He put an arm around her waist and held her up. James slowly started backing away, intending to go back to the Gryffindor Common Room. The scrolls Lily had been carrying clattered to the floor.

Finch, Snape, and Malfoy's heads snapped up and looked around for the intruder. Snape began panicking, thinking that another professor had overheard them.

"Lovely weather, eh?" he said, before he noticed the scrolls that had rolled out from underneath the cloak. He hesitantly walked forward, reached down and grabbed them. His eyes caught sight of a shoe lace, but when he blinked it was gone. Snape's brow furrowed and he wondered if he was seeing things.

"Severus! What do you have there?" Finch barked, briskly walking over to him, his robes flaring out behind him. He snatched the scrolls from him. "Some student's love letters, maybe? A plan for a prank? Oh… just lessons from McGonagall. Batty old witch, where could she be?"

Lucius cleared his throat and raised his eyebrows expectantly. "Could you perhaps tell me more about this meeting?"

Finch sighed heavily, and walked back to Malfoy.

I want to apologize for taking so long to upload. School has really been taking up a lot of my time. My brother has also been giving me a hard time, but enough with the excuses. The next chapter should be out within the next year… I hope. KIDDING. This weekend, I'll get to work. But tomorrow? HALLOWEEN. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!