The Crocodile, The Swordfish & the Enchanted Hob Nob
By DevilShoes and I-h8-sclub
Chapter One : To Hogwarts
'It could be worse,' Swordfish said with false merriment. There was even a slight tremble in the voice. Brought back to earth from his day dreams, Crocodile raised his eyebrows and looked at his best friend. 'How could it be worse?'
Crocodile and Swordfish were sat alone in a compartment of the Hogwarts express. The rhythmic chug of the train was soothing, but not soothing enough to calm either of their nerves. The two had been best friends since as long as either could remember. They were now both eleven years old and were on their way to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
True, all first years were nervous, but Crocodile and Swordfish were, well, different to say the least. For they were a rare breed of beings. They were Animalusheadius. It didn't affect who they were as people but it did affect their appearance, for, as their names would suggest, Crocodile had the head of a Crocodile and Swordfish had the head of a Swordfish, and they were the first and only two of their species to be accepted into Hogwarts.
Animalusheadius were magical beings but had not before been known to be accepted as wizards. No one really knew why. In fact, not many knew the true descent of where Animalusheadius' came from. Many believe they fell from the sky, many believe they popped out of the ground and many didn't really care at all. The fact not many know of their descent could be the cause of the discrimination they suffer or why many wizards and witches fear them, believing them to be capable of turning their children into Animalusheadius.
Their true descent dates back a little over a century and a half when a wizard, Ivan Humes, simply woke up one morning to find himself with the head of a tiger. Many believed it to be a curse, but none could find the counter curse and for many years wizards searched high and low to fathom the answer to why this had happened.
About five years later, the wizard fathered his first child, a daughter, born with the head of an eagle. This even sent the wizarding world into uproar once again as many attempted to explain why this had happened. How it could have happened. No one could say. Within the month of June in 1843, every child born to wizarding parents was born an Animalusheadius. And within that month, the wizarding world was thrown into chaos. Parents demanded to know why their children had come out like that. Many believed that Ivan Humes and his daughter had something to do with it, and wizards took to the street believing that the death of Ivan Humes would bring about the end of what they believed to be an act against God.
On July the 1st, 1843, Ivan Humes' daughter was murdered at just a month old. After that, the stories in the papers disappeared and the reign of madness ended, as the wizarding world attempted to erase the shame of that night. The truth was hidden, and rarely spoken of again.
As the generations passed, each Animalusheadius gave birth to another Animalusheadius and the 'breed' began to grow.
This continued whilst the wizarding world 'looked the other way' until one man, Solitaire Rhubarb, changed their lives forever.
His fascination with Animalusheadius grew and grew with each passing year, he was intrigued by them and believed them to be the 'evolution' of the wizarding species. He studied them, causing controversy and uproar wherever he went.
One winter's eve, his obsession got out of control and he decided to 'build' himself an Animalusheadius of his own, to talk to, to befriend, to understand. He took merely his wand and created a monster. He created The Jaffa Cake Man. The first 'produced' Animalusheadius. Believing his new creation to be nothing more than one of the creatures that fascinated him, Solitaire was unaware of the power the Jaffa Cake Man held. For every wizard knew that the mysterious orange goo inside Jaffa Cakes held mysterious powers beyond human comprehension and by giving that goo a body, a wand and a mind, he had created the most evil thing known to man.
Shortly after, Solitaire was found mysteriously murdered, his secret creation missing. For her had told no one about his 'project' as he really had no one to tell and know it was out on the loose.
The Jaffa Cake Man had powers no wizard could dream of an intelligence to unlock the secrets of the earth, but, for some reason, was not accepted. Not by wizards, muggles or even his fellow Animalusheadius, and so, complicated soul that he was, he used to his magic to try to make other Animalusheadius' accept him. Through fear, through... more fear, the Jaffa Cake Man spawned a reign of terror, gaining followers as well as powerful enemies, until one day, when he challenged a man who should not have been challenged. A man shook the shackles of fear and stood brave and courageous to face a mutated monster than had taken his family. The man died, but still, life goes on.
I mean, The Jaffa Cake Man feared a mutiny was on the horizon and went into hiding, to this day his present whereabouts are unknown, but all Animalusheadius' alike know that his is not dead or gone.
After the Jaffa Cake Man's run into hiding, the Animalusheadius soon grouped together to form a sort of Super Neighbourhood Watch, a resistant force, made of strong fighters, both physically and mentally who would stand strong against The Jaffa Cake Man, should he ever return. And that force was named The Enchanted Hob Nob, for every Animalusheadius knew hob nobs were the only biscuit's the Jaffa Cake Man feared.
This resistance is still alive today, unknown by wizards, witches and muggles alike. And two of it's every members where now sat in a compartment of the Hogwarts Express.
'To repeat what I said a moment ago, how could it be worse?' Crocodile asked accusingly.
'Well...' Swordfish said, squirmy uncomfortably in his seat at the thought of having to answer a question brought about by a simple saying to lighten the mood. 'We could have to eat Marmite!' Swordfish said triumphantly, a huge grin growing over his face.
Crocodile laughed. 'You know, Swordfish?'
'What, Crocodile?' He asked, in a very Huckleberry-Finn-manner.
'Going to Hogwarts,' Crocodile began, 'I'm glad I'm going with you.'
They thought about this for a while, both sharing a tremendously anxious smile. After about a minute of comfortable silence, Swordfish gasped suddenly, and exclaimed, his eyes wide, 'You don't reckon they'll have Maths lessons there, do you?' His face now showing horrifyingly terrified expression. Crocodile laughed and soon the boys compartment was alive with active conversation about school, Hogwarts, wizards, spell and pretty much anything that came into their heads. As the time seemed to race along at a speed to rival that of their train, they were unaware that a mere four compartments away sat Harry Potter on his first ride on the Hogwarts Express...