Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters only the plot! Enjoy!
One day in an extremely over exaggeratedly perfectly square, perfectly clean, and most of all perfectly mean building of Privet Drive a messy black haired boy was prancing around with a Pink Puffy Princes Barbie clenched in his raised fist (If you didn't guess that this strange boy was the obnoxiously famous Harry Potter then now you know). Harry Potter flopped down on his rat infested moth eaten bed but sat up again so quickly he bashed his head on his low hanging light. When his eyes focused again he saw a little man dressed in 1950's old English style clothing and a razor sharp goatee (So this little guy looked very dignified).
The little guy inhaled deeply and said "I can spin straw into gold."
Harry blinked twice and said slightly confused "What did you say?"
The cunning little man smiled and said "I'll tell you again if you can guess my name."
"Sorry but my Aunt and Uncle don't like me talking to anyone at all"
"Come on...is it Freddy? Jon? Jack?........"The little guy couldn't finish because Harry had grabbed him and was trying to stuff him out through a gap between the bars in the window. Once Harry had completed the job he flopped down on his bed again leaving the little man screaming "Rumplestilskien!" out side his bedroom window.
Just as he just as he was drifting off to dream land Uncle Vernon stormed into his room and yelled "You used our toilet again! how many times do I have to tell you to use the hedge outside!"
Harry muttered sheepishly "How did you know I used your toilet?"
Uncle Vernon Sighed deeply and said "You didn't flush"
"Oh" said Harry looking sheepishly at the floor.
Uncle Vernon turned and was strutting triumphantly (because he had just caused Harry a moment of embracement) out the door when Hedwig came zipping in through Harry's open window. Every thing seemed to move in slow motion to Harry. The frightened owl traveling at incredibly high speeds aimed directly at the back of Uncle Vernon's head (who didn't know that an owl was going to hit him in the back of the noggin). In an instant Hedwig smacked him in the back of the head with such force that Uncle Vernon flew over the banister and got entangled in the chandelier. Uncle Vernon screamed, cursed, and even threatened to put Harry through the paper shredder. Just then a hummer (being driven recklessly)