Disclaimer: I do not own Yami no Matsuei. (But if anyone wants to donate it to me...Hint Hint)
Notes: This has been around for a while so I finally decided to just post it.
Warnings: Hisoka angst and torture. Occurs during that wonderfully fun stay at the hospital. Angst. So small it's bite-sized. And more Angst.
Summary: Hisoka is dying inside...
Endless Pain
By: Sarrasi
I'm having that dream again. That's the thing isn't it? This time I /know/ it's a dream this time.
So why can't I escape his touch? Why do I still scream when he carves the curse into my skin and whispers promises of this pain forever? Scream, as all of me is crushed beneath him? Scream, as he destroys what's left of my spirit? Scream, when I know no one will come? They never came did they? So who was I screaming for?
He seems to like it.
'Nightmare' seems like such a petty word to describe his sick fantasy. I can't stand this dream much longer...I want so desperately to wake up.
I know what happens after this. I can't live like that forever, but I have to don't I? My mind is reeling at this desperate realization. I don't want to be here. I can't be here!
"I have to wake up! I have to--" The words die on my lips... Wake up to what?
I feel empty...I've always felt empty...There's nothing to wake up to...Nothing left to lose...Nothing left to gain... All I want for is death...
"Scream for me...Your screams are so beautiful..." I look up at his pale features...his eyes are so filled with lust. Lust for me. Lust for my body...agony for my soul.
Scream with what? I have nothing left in me. I cling to him now, my body crying out in lust and pain, and through my tears, I laugh. I don't know why...my mind won't grasp the concept of endless nothing...endless pain...too bad...
He's laughing too...And the funny thing is – he knows I've given up.