X
XIX
XIXIX "Matters of Trust" XIXIX
Harry lay in bed, thinking over the previous night's events until he eventually realized he was awake. He reached for his glasses and looked at the clock. It was nearly lunchtime. His stomach was hurting, cramped with hunger. He hadn't really eaten since breakfast the day before.
He rolled out of bed and walked to the shower, feeling disembodied. At some point in the night he had sidestepped reality. He was a movie of himself—a fantasy. He was the walking portrait of some famous wizard who had seen too much in his life, and who was slated to save the world.
This couldn't be reality. Harry was no one special, himself.
During an especially long shower, he found that he still couldn't quite sort out his thoughts. Too much new information had spilled into him the previous night. He couldn't sort it out on his own.
There was only one thing to do: find Ron and Hermione.
In the Great Hall, Harry found his two best friends sitting on opposite sides of the Gryffindor table. Hermione was surrounded by female friends. Ron sat amongst the sixth year boys. Harry stood looking at them for a moment, wondering why the table was suddenly segregated by gender.
Ginny looked up from Hermione's side, and glared daggers into Harry. She excused herself from the table and stalked past him out of the Great Hall. Harry looked after her, at a complete loss, and then slid into the seat across from Ron.
"What's going on?" he asked.
Ron, who was looking rather disgruntled himself, said, "Hermione needs 'girl time'. She said she had a lot to sort through, with Victor and all—"
While Ron spoke, Harry closed his eyes and groaned, "Bloody Hell." He had gotten so wrapped up in what had happened to him last night that he had forgotten that his best friends had troubles of their own.
"What's your problem?" Ron asked, a bit snidely.
Harry looked at him. Ron looked really tired. "Nothing. I just needed to pull my head out of my arse." Ron smirked, dropping the defensiveness. "Is she okay? I mean—did you get to talk to her?"
Ron shrugged. "She said she just needs time... like you said, I guess."
"Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Harry started to load up his plate. He listened to Dean, Seamus, and Neville talk about Quidditch, and who had a chance at the World Cup this year.
He decided he would just have to shove the night's revelations aside for the time being. It wouldn't be fair to drop everything on his friends when they were dealing with so much else.
He started to eat, ravenously, and Ron asked, "So where were you last night, anyway? Ginny was in a right state worried about you being out alone."
Harry thought about Ginny asleep in the chair. "I went for a walk..."
His eyes widened slightly as pieces began to click into place. Ginny had been worried about him. She had waited up for him, not Ron. And then they had talked about... something... and then he yelled at her.
"Oh no!"
Harry jumped up and hurried out of the Great Hall. He stood in the doorway for a moment, trying to decide if she would have gone to the common room or outside. The Great Hall had been bathed in sunlight. It was a beautiful day.
He ran outside. The air was cold, but the sun was shining for once. Harry looked around almost frantically. He was such an idiot, pushing away the people who cared for him most.
He had a vague memory running through his head of Ginny yelling Sirius' name. Had he told her about trying to contact him? Had she scoffed at him? No, that didn't seem right. It was only last night, but it seemed like a million years ago. Harry did know one thing, though. Ginny would not possibly have done something to deserve him yelling at her. It just wasn't like her.
Harry spotted the flaming redhead standing by the side of the lake. The wind was blowing through her hair. Her robes were billowing out behind her. Her arms were crossed. She didn't have a cloak on, and Harry suspected she must be cold.
"Ginny—!" he called, running over to her.
She stared out over the lake as though she didn't hear him. Her features were stony when he drew near.
He stopped next to her, but suddenly realized he didn't quite know what to say.
"Go away, Harry," she said firmly.
"Ginny..."
"I said go away."
Harry sighed in frustration. "Ginny, listen to me—"
"No! You listen to me, Harry!" She turned to him, her eyes blazing. Harry was afraid suddenly that she was going to pull out her wand and curse him. "You have really been a self-centered prick lately, you know that?"
"I know," he whispered, ashamed.
"And that's fine if you want to turn into Malfoy, but I'll have none of it, Harry! You don't play games with me. You don't lie to me. And you sure as hell don't threaten me!" She was breathing heavily and seemed to be steeling herself for a fight.
Harry looked at her for a few moments, and then said, "You're right. I'm sorry."
Her eyes flickered. She hadn't been expecting that.
"The worst part about it is that I was so wrapped up in wishing that my family was here that I kind of forgot that they were." Harry kicked at the grass. He felt cheesy saying it, but he knew he had to get Ginny to understand how much she meant to him, and how bad he felt for being a prat to her. "Ginny, you're the only sister I have. And you know I would never intentionally hurt you. I was an absolute git, and I'm sorry."
Ginny looked like he had just kicked her in the stomach. Harry put his hand on her shoulder. He tried to look her in the eye, but she kept turning away. Harry cursed himself silently. He had really hurt her.
"Ginny, please forgive me. I can't do all of this alone. I can't tell you how much you've helped me this year. I mean, with the DA, and when Lupin was attacked, and even with simple things like making sure I eat, and writing that letter to Rita Skeeter. I can always rely on you. And I know I blew it last night. I just got too overwhelmed with everything. And I should have just come to you and told you what was happening, but instead I... Ginny please look at me. I need you."
Ginny slowly turned to him, her eyes red. "You really think of me like a sister?"
Harry smiled. "More than a sister. Like, like a twin."
Ginny took a deep breath, sucking in her heartache. "Harry, that's a really big deal what you're saying. Being a twin in the wizarding world is creating a bond closer than most married couples have. The twin witch or wizard will always be there for you, no matter what. It's like accepting someone as an extension of yourself. Did you know that?"
Harry shook his head. "No. I didn't."
"So that's not what you meant at all."
"I meant that I trust you, and that I rely on your strength, and that sometimes I feel you're so much like me that you're like the Weasley version of myself." Ginny smiled weakly. "That's why I asked you to help me with the DA. There are other people I can count on, but not like you. It's different somehow." He shrugged. "Maybe we should be twins."
Ginny looked at him long and hard, obviously thinking things through. Finally, she said, "I can't do that, Harry. But I'll be here for you, and I'll help you however I can—on one condition."
"What's that?"
"That you never lie to me, or keep anything from me. I have to be able to trust you completely."
"Ginny, I promise you that so long as it is my secret to tell, I won't keep anything from you—if I can have your word of confidence."
"You have my word," said Ginny, brushing tears from her eyes. "I'm not your twin, but I'll be your sister." She forced herself to smile through the tears.
Harry pulled his sister into a hug, so incredibly happy and relieved that they could be this close. Ginny buried her face in his shoulder, a strange ache in her heart like she was both holding on and letting go.
She couldn't help it. She pulled away and asked, "So where were you last night?"
"That... is a really long story. Why don't we go find a seat?"
Lunch was over when they went back in, and neither Harry nor Ginny had eaten a full meal. They stopped by the kitchens and were given sandwiches and tea by the house elves. Harry thanked Dobby for the decorations on Valentine's Day. Dobby was quite pleased.
Ginny found an open classroom, and they sat down to eat. Harry told her all about his walk, and how he tried to call Sirius to him. He couldn't tell her about the memory of his parents, because that was Snape's memory. But he did tell her about Sirius appearing to him in the dream telling him to be strong, and about controlling the vision through Voldemort's eyes. He also admitted that he had seen Snape tortured and that he had gone out to check on him in the middle of the night. He glossed over the details of the torture and the bad shape Snape was in when he found him with the simple words, "It was awful." Then he told her about the prophecy. He told her the exact wording, and that he wasn't afraid of it anymore.
"Oh, Harry! Why didn't you tell us?" Ginny was putting on a strong front for him, but he knew from personal experience that this was a lot of information to soak in.
"I don't know. I guess I was kind of hoping that it would just miraculously go away."
"Are you going to tell Ron and Hermione?"
"Not yet. I mean... I don't want to tell them right now because I don't want them to think that I feel my problems are more important than theirs."
Ginny shrugged and took on an ironic tone. "Well, you are trying to figure out how to stop What's-His-Name from conquering the world."
"But that's exactly what I mean! My problems are so far out there that I don't even feel real anymore, Ginny. They're the ones with real pain. Me?" Harry saw Malfoy in his mind's eye and said a little sadly, "I don't guess I have time for the normalcies of life anymore."
Ginny looked down and Harry saw real pain in her eyes.
"I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have told you all of this."
Ginny shot him a look. "You absolutely should have told me all of this! You should always tell me. And you should also tell Ron and Hermione about your vision, and about the prophecy. They'd want to know, and besides, it might help Hermione to have someone else to think about right now."
She looked Harry in the eye, and said, "It's really hard to find out that someone doesn't love you back, especially when you'd do anything for them."
Harry nodded. "I guess you're right. Do you think we have time to find them before the DA meeting?"
Ginny looked at the clock. "Probably. Let's go."
They didn't get too far. They had just left the classroom when Nearly Headless Nick floated into the corridor.
"Oh, there you are, Harry!" he said. "I am to direct you to the headmaster's office immediately."
Harry looked at Ginny. "I haven't told him yet. This may take awhile."
Ginny rolled her eyes. "I don't know if I should be exasperated that you've waited this long to tell Dumbledore, or flattered that you told me first!"
Harry smiled. "If I'm late, go ahead and start the DA meeting without me, okay?"
Ginny nodded. "Go!"
XIXIX
When Harry reached the gargoyle, he hurriedly looked all around him for other students. Finding the halls empty, he whispered the password and headed up the stairs. He opened the door to find himself looking into the twinkling eyes of Professor Dumbledore, seated at his desk. Sitting across from him, with his back to Harry, was Professor Snape.
"Ah! Harry! Please, come have a seat."
Harry walked tentatively forward and sat in the chair next to Professor Snape. He felt really uncomfortable seeing the Potions Master, after what had happened. He hadn't expected this discomfort, although honestly, he hadn't really taken the time to expect anything yet.
He chanced a glance at Snape, who was regarding Harry impassively. Harry looked away.
"Lemon drop?" asked Dumbledore with a smile.
"No thank you, sir," said Harry.
Snape narrowed his eyes. "Professor Dumbledore, might we begin?"
"Of course, Severus," he replied. "Harry, Professor Snape tells me that you may have engaged in some rather remarkable magic last night. I was wondering if you might tell us the whole story."
Harry nodded and took a deep breath. He glanced again at Snape, whose face still lacked any sign of emotion, fixed his eyes on Dumbledore, and began.
"It actually started several hours earlier. I was out under the beech tree by the lake thinking about things when I had this idea that I could call Sirius to me to give me some advice about... stuff."
"You attempted a séance?" asked Dumbledore. Snape made a slight scoffing noise.
"Well, no, not exactly. I just sort of tried to call him. I kept replaying this memory of him and my parents and Lupin..." Harry reddened, imagining Snape's eyes boring holes into him for bringing up the memory Harry had stolen from him. He hurried on, "I just thought that if I focused enough on it, I could bring him to me."
Dumbledore nodded. "And it began when you were experimenting?"
"Yes. No. Well, not right then. He didn't come until after I went to bed." Snape raised an eyebrow.
Dumbledore leaned forward. "Did you say Sirius came to you last night?"
"A dream, no doubt," stated Snape dismissively.
Harry shook his head. "No. It was real. He hugged me and I felt it. He was there."
"What did he say?" asked Dumbledore.
"He said that I needed to be strong, that everything depended on me being strong last night. And then he started fading away, and that's when it started."
"So he told you what you were capable of?" asked Dumbledore.
"No, not in so many words. He just said to be strong. So then, when the vision started—" Harry faltered. He looked at Snape, who nodded impassively. Harry took that as a sign of encouragement. "I realized I was inside Voldemort's head, and I could hear his thoughts. And then when... he..." Harry looked at Snape again. He felt really uncomfortable talking about this in front of the man who had experienced it directly. "Well, the pain in my scar started, and I kind of woke up, but then I remembered Sirius telling me to be strong, and so I focused, and I forced the pain back down, and forced myself back into Voldemort's head. And then when I saw Professor Snape disapparate, I woke myself up and went to find him."
Snape sat up straight and looked at Harry incredulously. "You forced yourself back into.... You intentionally read the Dark Lord's thoughts?!"
"Yeah." Harry looked to Dumbledore, whose eyes absolutely sparkled.
"Well, Harry, you are certainly full of surprises today."
"Wha—I mean," he looked from Dumbledore to Snape. "Isn't that why you called me here?"
Dumbledore chuckled. "Not at all."
"Then, what—?"
"Mr. Potter, did you have your wand with you last night?" Snape asked impatiently.
"No sir. I had left it in my robe in my room."
"Did you take my wand and use it for the spells that you cast?"
"No sir!" Harry exclaimed. Were they accusing him of stealing Snape's wand?
"Harry," said Dumbledore firmly, holding his eye. "Did you use a wand at all last night when you were with Professor Snape?"
"No sir. I didn't seem to need it at the time."
Dumbledore sat back, a triumphant look on his face.
Snape leaned onto the armrest closest to Harry, resting his chin in his hand, completely lost in thought.
Harry was just about to ask them what was going on when Snape said with a slight smile, "Merlin's beard, Albus. I thought I had been hallucinating it."
"Hallucinating what?" asked Harry, alarmed by Snape's suddenly human behavior.
"Harry," said Dumbledore with a friendly smile, "Have you ever cast spells before without holding your wand?"
Harry shook his head. "No, I... well, yes, actually. When the Dementors were in Little Whinging. I dropped my wand and couldn't find it in the dark. I cast Lumos on my wand before I picked it up."
"That was almost two years ago," snapped Snape. "And you didn't think to tell anyone?!"
"Well I did kind of have other things on my mind, didn't I?" Harry shot back.
"Harry," Dumbledore interrupted, "Everyone in the wizarding world is capable of wandless magic. For instance, using magical ingredients to brew potions, or working through magical plants or animals. And of course, children will oftentimes exhibit accidental magic.
"But casting spells is a very specific sort of magic that requires the use of a wand. Only a very powerful and focused wizard can successfully cast even the simplest of spells without a wand. In my lifetime, I have only met two witches and one wizard who were able. One of them was your mother."
Harry's eyes widened, and he felt himself take one more step away from reality.
His mother had been able to cast spells without a wand. And now he was too. And this was apparently a big deal. Harry was overwhelmed by the implications. "Are you saying.... What are you saying?"
"I'm saying you have a very special gift, and we will begin your training immediately."
"You're going to train me?" asked Harry.
"Oh, no," said Dumbledore with a smile. "I require a wand for my spellcasting. No, we'll be bringing in an outside tutor."
XIXIX
The DA meeting was already in progress when Harry arrived. Watching Ginny in action, he almost felt superfluous. She had already divided the newest members into groups, and started the entire group on their lesson for the day. She was walking among the eight groups with further instruction when Harry arrived.
He was glad to see that Ron and Hermione's groups were positioned right next to each other. He went to them and motioned to Ginny to come over.
"Guys," he said, looking from Hermione to Ron, "I know you've got a lot going on right now, but I really need to talk to you after the meeting."
"Sure, Harry," said Hermione, looking very concerned for him.
After the meeting was over, the four of them sat quite comfortably in the Room of Requirement, and for the third time that day, Harry told the story of the previous night's events. But this time, he did mention that Snape had almost died, and that Harry had helped him to his quarters, and gotten into his potions cabinet, and cleaned up his vomit, and repaired the broken vial, all without his wand.
"You can do wandless spellcasting and you waited until NOW to tell us?" demanded Hermione.
"I really didn't know it was a big deal."
"Harry, that is a bloody big deal!" said Ron, as exasperated as Hermione. "What did Dumbledore say?"
"He's going to bring somebody in to train me."
Ginny's eyebrows were high on her forehead. She whispered, "Harry, you're going to be more powerful than Dumbledore!"
"Oh!" shouted Ron triumphantly, pointing at Harry. "This is great, actually! You can't use your wand against V-v—You-Know-Who, but now you don't need to!" He was absolutely bouncing with excitement.
Hermione's eyes widened. "Ron, that's brilliant!" Ron beamed. Hermione looked frantic as a million thoughts raced through her head. Finally, she settled on saying, "I have to get to the library!"
"Hold up!" said Ginny. "Harry, you have to tell them the rest."
Harry glanced at the very happy Ron and Hermione and looked at Ginny doubtfully. "Ginny, I don't—"
"Tell them," she commanded.
"Tell us what, mate?"
Harry looked down. "I kind of lied about the prophecy. I mean, not really lied, I just didn't tell you the whole truth."
"What is it, Harry?" Hermione's face was dropping into worry again.
So Harry told his friends that the prophecy didn't specifically state that he would win against Voldemort, or that he would even live through it. All it really said was that Harry was the wizarding world's only chance.
The group was very somber when he finished.
"But think of all you can do now," said Ron.
Harry smiled weakly. "Yeah. I guess my chances are getting better."
"Harry," said Hermione reasonably. "You can do wandless spellcasting. Voldemort can't do that. Dumbledore can't even do that. And you're going to be more powerful than Dumbledore after you've finished training."
Harry nodded. "I'm certainly going to do what I can."
"You're going to kick his arse is what you're going to do," said Ginny emphatically.
Harry shook his head and laughed.
XIXIX
When Harry rounded the corner to the potions dungeon the next day, he was not surprised to be met with the sneering faces of Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle. He was, however, surprised when Crabbe opened his mouth to insult Harry, instead of Malfoy.
"Ah, Mr. Fanclub arrives," he said snidely, with a stupid look on his face. Goyle snickered and Malfoy sneered. "It's amazing you have time for class with all the 'playing' you've been doing lately."
Harry just turned away, giving his friends a "What the hell is he talking about" look.
Crabbe stepped forward, looking rather angry for some unknown reason. "You better stay away from Luna, Potter. You two-time her with that Weasley slut and you're dead!"
In the next instant, Harry stepped forward to stand up for his sister, but Malfoy slammed him back against the wall. Meanwhile, a streak of red pushed past and engaged Crabbe in combat. The hall erupted as people rushed forward to watch the fight.
Malfoy pushed himself into Harry and spoke into his ear. "You can't escape me with your girls, Potter. And I don't think you even want to."
Snape rounded the corner and set about breaking up the fight between Ron and Crabbe, neither of whom seemed to want to stop pounding on the other.
Harry pushed Malfoy back. "Sorry, Malfoy," he said, "But I've got better things to do with my time than be 'haunted' by your 'phantoms'. You're just not worth it."
Malfoy looked stricken for the second longer that Harry looked at him. Then he pushed past to see Snape pull out his wand and magic the fight to a halt with a quick Locomotor Mortis. Ron's and Crabbe's legs and arms snapped tightly to their sides and they both fell to the floor.
Snape took 20 points from Gryffindor and sent the two to the infirmary. He ushered the rest of the class into the dungeon and began the Potions lesson by threatening that the next time he arrived to find a fight outside his classroom, he would take 100 points from the House responsible.
"Meaning Gryffindor," Dean whispered very quietly.
Harry and Hermione set about brewing their potion with strict attention to detail, and a pleasant and respectful disposition toward their, until recently, most hated Potions Master. They had decided that with everything Snape did for the Order, he truly deserved their respect.
Snape, however, seemed to pay no mind to that decision. He was breathing down their necks during the entire lesson. When Harry handed in a vial of their completed potion at the end of class, he rattled it slightly against the other vials on Snape's desk. Snape immediately began yelling at Harry about how intolerable he was, and to see him after class.
As everyone filed out of the classroom, Harry approached Snape's desk. Snape regarded him silently with a sneer until the door closed behind the last student. Then he dropped the sneer.
"Mr. Potter," he said softly. "I understand that you may find yourself loathing me less after our recent experience. But I cannot stress to you enough that when there are other students present it is vitally important that we maintain the pretense that we do not get along."
Harry was taken aback. 'Maintain the pretense that we don't get along?' Did they get along now? Because Harry sure hadn't noticed, what with Snape still being such a prick and all.
"We are going to be working together quite a lot in the coming weeks and months. The recent development of strength in your visions can perhaps be aided by the use of a potion or two. I was finding it exceedingly difficult to sever the link, but perhaps we will find strengthening it, or at least controlling it, can be accomplished.
"In addition, it is clear to me that with Dumbledore's help you mastered Occlumency over the summer. While we work on the potion, I am going to tutor you in Legilimency as well. If you really are as powerful as Dumbledore thinks, you should be able to break through the Dark Lord's defenses and find his weaknesses. Perhaps without him noticing."
Harry's mind was reeling. Dumbledore did seem to be quite confident in Harry's potential abilities, and even Professor Snape seemed to be encouraging hope in Harry's newfound strengths. "When do we start?"
"Hmm, now there is the issue." Snape narrowed his eyes. "I would like to begin as soon as possible, but we need to find an excuse for us to be working together. You've made it into Advanced Potions, so I can't very well give you 'remedial lessons' as I did last year."
Harry shrugged. The answer seemed obvious to him. "Why don't I just wear my invisibility cloak, and screw coming up with an excuse?" Snape raised an eyebrow. "Just leave the classroom door open, and I'll give you a sign to let you know when you can close the door and I can uncloak myself... oh, but I guess we'll still need an excuse in case one of your students interrupts."
They thought for a moment. Then Snape asked, "Would you be comfortable working in my quarters? It is password protected, after all, so no student could interrupt."
"Yeah, I guess so."
"Very well. You will meet me in here at 7:00 tonight. I will leave the door open. You will stand directly in front of me and open your mind to me, letting me know that you are here. I will lead you to my quarters, and you may uncloak once we are inside. Is that acceptable?"
Harry nodded. "That is acceptable."
"In the meantime, Mr. Potter," said Snape very seriously, "I really must insist that you continue to exhibit your normal behavior regarding me. You are to continue to blatantly disregard the rules that I set, you are to be disrespectful, and you are to continue to call me names behind my back."
Harry fought back a laugh, and instead thought to Snape, 'Whatever you say, you greasy git.'
Snape's lips twitched as he almost—almost—smiled.
XIXIX
Hermione was waiting for Harry just outside the classroom with her wand out. Harry looked at her questioningly.
"I noticed Malfoy was hanging around, and thought I should be ready, just in case." She grinned evilly. "He didn't seem too happy that I was waiting for you."
Harry wondered to himself if Malfoy had been waiting around to curse him or try to shag him. Neither would have surprised him.
Ron was in the Great Hall when they arrived for lunch. Apparently, when he left the infirmary, he had decided he had no qualms with skipping the rest of Potions, and having an early lunch.
Harry filled them in on his conversation with Snape, and they all agreed to be as unpleasant as ever to him. When he asked Hermione if she would let him out of the common room portal that night while he was cloaked, Hermione looked away nervously.
"Maybe Ron or Ginny could do that...?" she asked quietly.
Ginny narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "Why?"
"I have some research to do," Hermione demurred. Harry looked at her. She rolled her eyes and admitted, "About the prophecy."
"But last night you said there the library didn't have the books you wanted," said Ron.
Hermione opened her mouth and then closed it. Then she opened it again, but again, no words came out. She seemed to be really struggling with herself to say something out loud.
"Spit it out," said Ginny, amused.
Hermione took a deep breath, and then very slowly, as though she were speaking a foreign language, she said, "I am going to meet with Professor Trelawney."
Harry's jaw dropped. Ron laughed. "Ha! That old bat?! You? Hermione Granger, are going to meet with the biggest phony of them all?!" Hermione buried her face in her hands, ashamed at her admission.
"I have to. She's the only one who has the books I need."
"Well, she's not a complete phony," said Ginny reasonably. "She did make those two prophecies."
"And she also predicted my death about a million times," said Harry. "Hermione, you hate that woman!"
"I know, I know. But it's the only way, so can we just drop it?!" She glared at Ron in particular, who stifled his laugh by clasping his hands over his mouth.
XIXIX
It was Ginny who helped Harry through the portal that night without anyone noticing. She felt an invisible hand squeeze hers as he brushed past her. She went inside and found a comfortable chair to sit in to do her homework while she waited for him to return.
Harry walked into Snape's dungeon classroom five minutes early. He silently moved to stand in front of Snape, and thought to him, "In direct disregard for your rules, I have arrived at 6:55 instead of 7:00."
Snape looked up and glared through the emptiness of space where Harry stood.
He packed up the papers he had been grading, and strode quickly from the classroom. He paused a moment before closing the door and sealing it with a locking charm. He then returned to his quarters, said the password, and entered, again pausing for a moment before closing the door behind him.
"Mr. Potter," he said firmly. Harry waited a second to uncloak himself. Snape noticed the intentional pause, and said, "We have much to accomplish this evening. First off, we should discuss the capability of your visions. If you could, explain to me everything you remember about your most recent vision, and how it differed from the previous ones. It may also help if you lower your Occlumency shields surrounding your memories of these visions. I may pick up on something useful that you would not think to mention."
Harry looked at him slightly suspiciously. Snape narrowed his eyes.
"Mr. Potter, once I begin training you in Legilimency, the only way for me to monitor your progress in your stealth abilities will be for you to practice your skills on me. I assure you that I will be called to trust you as much as I am now asking you to trust me." He looked at Harry seriously. "Do you think you can trust me?"
Harry thought about the circumstances surrounding his last visit to Snape's quarters, and he nodded.
They moved to a sitting area and got comfortable as Harry began to tell him every detail he could remember of the vision. He explained the feeling he had of summoning his energy, gathering his strength to force himself back into Voldemort's mind. Snape watched him piercingly, but not unkindly. When Harry finished, he sat back, lost in thought.
Presently, he began speaking his thoughts out loud. "Perhaps something to help control the pain, since that seems to be the weakest point of control of your visions. A Pain Numbing potion would dull your senses, and anyway, you were able to force the pain to a manageable level... But if we could somehow focus your energy so that the pain never rises... but that leads back to our previous problems with severing the connection. I wonder... perhaps a Lucid Dreaming potion, altered with Focus Energy. But then I don't know that you'd even be able to sleep under such a combination... And if I added a Sleep Draught, you may not be able to wake up if need be."
Snape got up and began to pace. After a minute, he smiled to himself and shook his head.
"What?" asked Harry.
"I was thinking that in order to control all the variables, we would almost have to have you sleeping in a laboratory."
Harry smiled tentatively. "Almost... right?"
Snape smiled slightly as well. "Almost."
He sat back down across from Harry and began explaining the theory of Legilimency. The theory itself was actually quite similar to that of Occlumency. In practice, though, the magic was quite different.
Snape began by thinking words directly at Harry, maintaining eye contact. When Harry was able to see these thoughts fairly accurately, Snape pulled his thoughts back, so that he was merely thinking words with his shields lowered. Harry was able to catch a few, but was finding Legilimency very difficult.
Snape assured him he had done quite well for his first lesson. He also said that Harry would find it easier with the Dark Lord because of their magical connection. He would also find Legilimency to be easier with people who were less in control of their emotions than he was.
XIXIX
Harry was exhausted when he left Snape's quarters, but he had too many thoughts in his head to be able to sleep just yet, so he took his invisibility cloak for a walk by the lake.
He stood by the beech tree and stared up into the clear night, the cold air burning his lungs and clearing his head. The invisibility cloak wasn't very warm, but Harry didn't mind as he looked to the stars, thinking they looked like ice crystals in the sky.
"Sirius, thanks for coming by the other night," he whispered. "Although I wish we could have talked a bit longer."
Harry heard a rustle behind him. He looked through the darkness and saw another figure walking toward him. Harry quietly moved beneath the beech tree, and watched as the person walked to the edge of the lake. It was Malfoy.
He sighed deeply and stared up into the sky. His face was lit by the moon and the stars; Harry thought that he saw tears glistening on his cheeks. Apparently, Harry wasn't the only one to come out to the lake when he needed to clear his head.
Malfoy crumbled into sitting cross-legged, and put his head in his hands. He groaned desperately, "Merlin, I'm a dead man!" And he cried angrily.
Harry knew that he was angry. And that he was hurt, and a little scared. Malfoy was projecting these feelings, and Harry was catching them all.
He stood under the beech tree watching the Slytherin act vulnerable. Harry felt uncomfortable witnessing this. He felt guilty for reading Malfoy's emotions.
Malfoy rubbed his eyes, picked up a rock and skipped it over the lake. "Fuck him," he grumbled. "Who needs him?" Harry very clearly saw his own face in Malfoy's head. He took a step back.
Malfoy looked over. "Who's there?" he called.
Harry didn't answer. Malfoy looked around for a minute, and then returned to his thoughts. Harry could see it all. Part of him was trying to convince himself that Harry was not worth it. A steady stream of bad thoughts about the Gryffindor flowed through his head. Another part kept thinking about how Harry had blown him off today, and how much it hurt, and how Malfoy must not have said the right thing, and was wondering what he needed to do to get Harry alone again. He thought of Harry's face, all nervous and aroused. He shook his head and said firmly, "Give it up, Draco. It's not going to happen."
He leaned back on his hands and stared at the sky. Harry watched him, flooded with thoughts and emotions. It wasn't right that he knew all of that. He sealed his mind and swore to himself that he would not read people without their permission, or without a bloody good reason.
He had sworn off his crush on Malfoy only yesterday, but now he didn't know if he could do it. If he had hurt Malfoy, than Malfoy must actually care. It wasn't just a game and it wasn't just lust. Also, Harry thought with a bit of embarrassment, this was a real problem. His confusion about Malfoy made him feel like a regular teenager. Could he really let that go?
He made up his mind. He silently slid his cloak off and carefully concealed it at the trunk of the tree. Then he quietly walked out from under the beech tree and stretched, yawning loudly as he looked up at the sky.
"Who's there?" said Malfoy again.
Harry jumped and looked over. "Malfoy?" He walked over to him. "What are you doing out here?"
"Where's your posse, Potter?" asked Malfoy snidely.
"Where's yours?" Harry smirked and sat down next to him.
"Well, we're not all lucky enough to have a fan club," he spat.
Harry looked around. "Malfoy, we're alone. Can you cool it with that shit? It's not like we're in class."
Malfoy scoffed. "You're not really upset about that, are you? I've told you before. I have to do that. It's who I am."
"Well, you're an arse."
"It's nothing personal. I told you that. I'm just as caught up in this war as you are."
"I'm not 'caught up' in any war, Malfoy. I fight because I believe in the cause, not because Daddy tells me to."
"That was a low blow, Potter."
"Oh? Now you're concerned about low blows?"
"Hey, maybe you've forgotten, but my life depends on me openly hating you. Feel free to get all high and mighty about it, but you're the one throwing punches without a wand threatening you!"
They glared at each other for a long time.
Harry broke the silence. "You really don't mean what you say?"
Malfoy paused. "It just is, Potter. It just is."
They sat in silence again, looking at the stars, looking at the lake.
"Is it you that's been attacking the DA members?" Harry asked suddenly.
Malfoy looked affronted. "I would not stoop to attack third years," he said seriously.
Harry nodded. "I didn't mean what I said today, about you not being worth my time."
"How did you know I wrote that note?"
Harry grinned, leaned over and whispered, "I guessed."
Malfoy leaned in quickly, before Harry sat back up. Harry paused, struck by their closeness. Malfoy's penetrating eyes locked onto Harry's. "I meant it," he said.
Harry's heart was pounding. His mouth went dry. His stomach was tied in knots.
But slowly, the two leaned into each other. Malfoy sensuously brushed his lips against Harry's. Harry thought the light touch just might drive him insane. His mouth was so arousingly soft.
Harry pushed forward and took Malfoy into a deep kiss. Malfoy gasped. He reached up and pulled Harry to the ground. They rolled in the cold, damp grass, drinking each other in, feeding off of each other. They tugged desperately at each other's robes, letting their hands freely explore the fabric that kept them millimeters apart.
Then slowly and carefully, Malfoy began to pull Harry's robe off. Harry resisted, but Malfoy whispered into his neck, "Come on, Potter. Trust me." He nibbled on Harry's earlobe, and continued undressing him. Then he guided Harry's hands in undressing himself.
Harry couldn't think anymore. He was so lost in the moment, the heat of their bodies coming together with the cold air skimming their bare skin. The night sky was passion in his veins, the stars melting in with Malfoy, pushing himself inside Harry. Harry clawed at him, wondering how he got there, never wanting it to end.
Malfoy trembled as he came inside Harry, breathing into Harry's ear. He looked to his hand in between them. Harry hadn't come. He rolled Harry on top of himself, gently guiding him in.
Harry couldn't believe the feeling. He looked down at Malfoy, who was so beautiful Harry wanted it cry. Malfoy pulled him into a kiss while Harry thrust into him. It felt so natural. He gasped as an explosion of pleasure shot through him.
The lovers lay on their cloaks, wrapped up in each other until the cold air became noticeable again. They silently stood up and dressed.
"It's late," said Malfoy. "It wouldn't do for us to get caught together."
"You go first," said Harry.
Malfoy nodded, and stepped toward him. Very awkwardly, he kissed Harry goodnight. Then he turned around and made his way back to the castle. Harry watched him go. After a few minutes, he gathered his invisibility cloak, and, covering himself, returned to Gryffindor Tower.
Ginny was alone in the common room when he returned. She was dozing over a book by the fire, but stood up when she heard him.
"How'd it go?"
Harry shrugged. He just knew he had a goofy grin on his face. "Okay," he said. "Legilimency is pretty hard."
Ginny narrowed her eyes and glared at Harry.
Harry looked at her innocently. "What?"
"I'm really hoping it wasn't Snape that gave you that hickie!"
Harry turned red, grinning. "Uh, no."
She looked angry. "Who was it?"
Harry panicked for a second. He had promised Ginny he would tell her everything. But it wasn't just his secret... He was about to tell her this, but then she held up her hand.
"Wait a minute... I'm not a masochist. I don't want to know." Harry breathed relief. "Good night, Harry," she said curtly. She turned on her heal and went upstairs.
XIXIX
Harry told his friends over breakfast about his meeting with Snape. Ron kept poking fun at Harry, trying to get him to tell him who gave him the hickie.
"Come on, mate! Was it Luna?" Hermione kicked him under the table. Ron looked hurt. "What'd you do that for?"
Professor McGonagall strode up to the table. "Mr. Potter," she said sharply. "You are to report to the headmaster's office after breakfast."
"Yes ma'am," said Harry. He looked over to the teachers' table, but Dumbledore was absent from it.
"Is something wrong?" asked Ginny.
Harry shook his head. "No, probably my new instructor has arrived."
Harry was right. He walked into Dumbledore's office to see a young wizarding couple chatting pleasantly with the old headmaster. They turned to look at him, their gazes flicking briefly to his scar.
"You must be Harry!" said the woman, with a warm smile. She had stylishly fashioned short brown hair, and very kind eyes. Harry smiled at her and nodded slightly.
"Harry, I'd like you to meet a very old friend of mine," said Dumbledore, gesturing to the young man.
The young man stood up and stepped toward Harry with his hand outstretched. His hair was even messier than Harry's. He had a very friendly smile, and struck Harry immediately as kind of a nerd.
"Harry, it's good to finally meet you. I'm going to be your wandless spellcasting instructor."
He shook Harry's hand happily.
"I'm Nicolas Flamel."
XIXIX
XIX
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A/N Thank you, everyone who is reading, and thank you especially if you also review. Could someone please email me the wording of the prophecy? I can't find it on the HP lexicon site. I would really appreciate it.
Wintermoon2: Yay! Katirocks! And you so rock! I love your new chapters!
Usually Immaculate Aristocrat: I agree, Luna and Draco are both confusing people. But that's why I like them so much. I don't know about Ginny being a dominatrix, although that is an interesting image. Red hair, black leather...
Wildvictoria: Most gruesome curse? I'm taking that as a compliment. Thanks for coming back.
Spider-monkey Demon: Thank you muchly. Say, I don't know you, do I?
Rach- are your fears alleviated somewhat? And thanks for the compliment
Pamela: GAH! Here! Read it! Hope you enjoy!