I tried so hard to smile when he told me. But it didn't work. The only thing that spread across my face was a frown.
There he was, my insanely attractive younger cousin, sitting in front of me, telling me about how happy he was with Nakano-san. It was almost virtually impossible to be pleased. He never seemed to notice that.
"S-Seguchi-san?" He mumbled and look over at my silent face. Looking up at him, I brushed a soft lock of platinum hair out of my eyes. "I'm happy for you." I tapped my fingers on my desk, trying to avoid the glance of his dark brown eyes. I could not let him know. I couldn't.
My blood was running cold, numbing my whole body. It wasn't supposed to be this way. But after all, he wanted him to be happy, no? Was it wrong to be jealous of Hiroshi Nakano, one who I was obviously above in all standards of society? Screw society.
"If you don't mind, Suguru. I have some work to finish up with." I waved my hand dismissively and he bowed and left the room. I placed my head on the back of my hand, trying to figure this out.
Nothing seemed the same after that. When I was in the room with them all I could do was grit my teeth and smile, congratulating them. I was coming undone at the seams, I wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer. It wasn't just for my own sexual desire, oh no. It was much more than that. Shuuichi got rather jealous from time to time, and Suguru always seemed to be in a good mood, Hiroshi couldn't have seemed better. K and Sakano were pleased that everyone was so content again. It wasn't always World War 5,785,430 in the studio in which they recorded in.
But one day, somehow, everything blew up in my face.
Suguru burst through the door of my office, shiny wet tears streaming down his face. I felt like my heart was going to shatter into a million pieces just seeing him like this, and I didn't even know what was going on.
…And then…I realized…
Right above his left cheek bone, a large, red bruise was beginning to form. He couldn't move. He was just completely paralyzed. Then he collapsed on the floor, sobbing louder than before.
"T-Tohma… he… and…" His face was full of hurt, anger, confusion, and betrayal. I rushed over from my desk and wrapped two slender arms around him, stroking his hair and promising him everything would be alright. He didn't seem convinced. He only looked up at me with big brown eyes that were currently being used as a sink. And through all of it, he managed to smile.
I was so relieved when he embraced me. And we just sat there on the floor of my office, holding each other. It meant more to me than to him, I know. But it was such a strong sense of feeling. I still just wanted to burst into flames though. I wasn't quite sure why.
I leaned forward and rested my forehead on his, shutting my eyes and smiling. Then something happened that I wasn't quite expecting.
I opened my eyes to see Suguru, his face still stained with tears, his lips touching mine. I returned his offer, savoring every sweet second of this. Maybe it did mean more to him than I thought.
This went on for maybe five minutes more. I chewed on his bottom lip. His tongue danced with mine. And right when I thought we were getting to the good part, that I wouldn't have to admire him from afar anymore, that he would be mine, he pulled away and stood up.
"I'm sorry. I just can't do this now." He ran out of the room, and I was left on the floor, wondering what had just happened.
Life went on as it should have been. Suguru and Hiroshi stopped seeing each other, but making sure it didn't effect the band. Shuuichi was happier now that he could argue with Suguru without getting his head bit off by his best friend. K and Sakano weren't quite as glad, because it was all the same, even as World War 5,785,431 broke out in the studio.
As for me?
I did what I always had done. I tried to avoid my cousin as much as I could, only speaking to him if necessary. He would still look at me from time to time, and our eyes would meet. But he would break our contact and go back to what he was doing and it would be normal again.
Normal. Right.
There he was, my insanely attractive younger cousin, sitting in front of me, telling me about how happy he was with Nakano-san. It was almost virtually impossible to be pleased. He never seemed to notice that.
"S-Seguchi-san?" He mumbled and look over at my silent face. Looking up at him, I brushed a soft lock of platinum hair out of my eyes. "I'm happy for you." I tapped my fingers on my desk, trying to avoid the glance of his dark brown eyes. I could not let him know. I couldn't.
My blood was running cold, numbing my whole body. It wasn't supposed to be this way. But after all, he wanted him to be happy, no? Was it wrong to be jealous of Hiroshi Nakano, one who I was obviously above in all standards of society? Screw society.
"If you don't mind, Suguru. I have some work to finish up with." I waved my hand dismissively and he bowed and left the room. I placed my head on the back of my hand, trying to figure this out.
Nothing seemed the same after that. When I was in the room with them all I could do was grit my teeth and smile, congratulating them. I was coming undone at the seams, I wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer. It wasn't just for my own sexual desire, oh no. It was much more than that. Shuuichi got rather jealous from time to time, and Suguru always seemed to be in a good mood, Hiroshi couldn't have seemed better. K and Sakano were pleased that everyone was so content again. It wasn't always World War 5,785,430 in the studio in which they recorded in.
But one day, somehow, everything blew up in my face.
Suguru burst through the door of my office, shiny wet tears streaming down his face. I felt like my heart was going to shatter into a million pieces just seeing him like this, and I didn't even know what was going on.
…And then…I realized…
Right above his left cheek bone, a large, red bruise was beginning to form. He couldn't move. He was just completely paralyzed. Then he collapsed on the floor, sobbing louder than before.
"T-Tohma… he… and…" His face was full of hurt, anger, confusion, and betrayal. I rushed over from my desk and wrapped two slender arms around him, stroking his hair and promising him everything would be alright. He didn't seem convinced. He only looked up at me with big brown eyes that were currently being used as a sink. And through all of it, he managed to smile.
I was so relieved when he embraced me. And we just sat there on the floor of my office, holding each other. It meant more to me than to him, I know. But it was such a strong sense of feeling. I still just wanted to burst into flames though. I wasn't quite sure why.
I leaned forward and rested my forehead on his, shutting my eyes and smiling. Then something happened that I wasn't quite expecting.
I opened my eyes to see Suguru, his face still stained with tears, his lips touching mine. I returned his offer, savoring every sweet second of this. Maybe it did mean more to him than I thought.
This went on for maybe five minutes more. I chewed on his bottom lip. His tongue danced with mine. And right when I thought we were getting to the good part, that I wouldn't have to admire him from afar anymore, that he would be mine, he pulled away and stood up.
"I'm sorry. I just can't do this now." He ran out of the room, and I was left on the floor, wondering what had just happened.
Life went on as it should have been. Suguru and Hiroshi stopped seeing each other, but making sure it didn't effect the band. Shuuichi was happier now that he could argue with Suguru without getting his head bit off by his best friend. K and Sakano weren't quite as glad, because it was all the same, even as World War 5,785,431 broke out in the studio.
As for me?
I did what I always had done. I tried to avoid my cousin as much as I could, only speaking to him if necessary. He would still look at me from time to time, and our eyes would meet. But he would break our contact and go back to what he was doing and it would be normal again.
Normal. Right.