A/N: Alright guys, here's the chapter many of you have been waiting for—the payoff, so to speak. Now we find out what's up with the boys.
X
XIX
XIXIX "Possession" XIXIX
Hagrid gave Harry permission to miss class Thursday morning so that he could see Nicolas and Perenelle off.
He stood with the Flamels and Dumbledore at the Hogwarts entrance, waiting for their foreign escorts to arrive.
"Harry," said Nicolas quietly. "We have something we'd like to give you."
Harry's cheeks reddened slightly. He hadn't thought to get them anything, although now that they were leaving, gift giving seemed obvious. He wished more than anything that he had a present for them.
"I, uh," he stammered.
Perenelle broke in, grinning. "Harry, we have over six hundred years of accumulated stuff. We really don't need anything more."
Nicolas stepped forward, smiling. "But we would like very much for you to have this." He held out a small package wrapped in maroon and gold silk.
"Thank you," Harry whispered as he fumbled to open it. His eyes grew wide as he saw what was inside.
He held up a small gold locket with the Flamel family crest on it. At the top, a diamond and emerald set was fused into the locket, with two thin tendrils of gold worked down the sides of the locket.
Harry looked up, at a loss for words.
"It was my great-grandfather's locket," said Nicolas kindly, indicating the Flamel family crest.
"And my great-great-grandmother's wedding ring," added Perenelle, pointing out the jewel set and the gold tendrils.
"Perenelle, Nicolas, I can't take this," said Harry reverently.
"Harry," said Nicolas, "We'll be over seven hundred years old when we pass on to the next world. We never had children, and have held onto our heirlooms all this time."
"We've loved many people in many ways," continued Perenelle, "And we love you as our own child."
"And you simply must accept it," finished Nicolas.
Harry's eyes were burning with tears. He hugged Nicolas and Perenelle both very deeply, whispering his thanks, and returning their love.
"Open it," said Perenelle, wiping tears from her eyes.
Harry opened the locket. Inside was a very tiny painting of Nicolas and Perenelle on their wedding day. The detail was exquisite, and the tiny portraits waved up at Harry. "They can speak," said Nicolas, "But you have to put a Sonorus Charm on it to be able to hear them."
Harry laughed.
The other side of the locket held a recent photograph of the three of them talking in Dumbledore's office. Harry hadn't been aware of the picture being taken, but realized it must have been the day they met with the Order members, because he could see Lupin and Snape talking in the background.
The images of Harry, Nicolas, and Perenelle spoke and laughed easily. Seeing them now in third person, it was obvious to Harry that they were like family. Harry remembered how Perenelle and Lupin had showered him with affection that day. Almost without noticing, Harry continued to add parental figures into his life.
"Who took this picture?" asked Harry.
"Tonks," said Perenelle. "We wanted a picture of you…"
"But you're known for being rather camera-shy," continued Nicolas. "And anyway, we wanted a natural shot."
Harry nodded, rolling his eyes. "And if you had told me first, it wouldn't have worked."
"Right," laughed Nicolas.
"Harry, I want you to wear this always," said Perenelle as she helped Harry fasten it around his neck. It was surprisingly light—almost like it wasn't there at all. "Not just to remember us by while we're away, but we've put every sort of protective charm we could think of on it. So don't take it off. Not for Quidditch, not for showers, not for sex—"
"Perenelle!" gasped Harry, blushing as he glanced to Dumbledore, who just smiled with twinkling eyes.
"I mean it, Harry. Promise us you won't take it off and we'll sleep better at night."
"I promise," said Harry. "I just wish I had something to give you to make sure you were safe." Nicolas and Perenelle smiled at him fondly.
"Ah," said Dumbledore. "I do believe your escorts are arriving."
Harry looked up to see a large mansion appear out of nowhere. It was both amazingly huge, and seemed to take up no space at all. After a moment, a group of witches and wizards poured out of the front door and headed their way. Among them were Tonks and Fleur Delacour. Harry didn't recognize any of the others.
Harry stayed near the Flamels as everyone spoke about their imminent journey. The Flamels' escorts spoke lightly through their translation charms, and seemed appreciative of the fact that the Flamels did not need to use the translation charms themselves. But they seemed to be far more interested in the young man standing with them, and the scar on his forehead, than in the Flamels.
Harry walked with them to the front door of the mansion and hugged them closely. They said their goodbyes, walked inside, and closed the door behind them. The mansion slid from existence, and Harry stood alone with Dumbledore.
"Sybil tells me Ms. Granger has discovered something of interest in her books," Dumbledore said with a smile.
Harry nodded. "About a million different prophecies of a war that determines the fate of the wizarding world."
"In what way?"
"Well, so far as we can tell, if Voldemort wins, the devastation that follows will pretty much wipe magic people off the face of the earth—and kill an amazing number of muggles as well. If we win, further damage is stopped, but the damage done by the war may still be… world changing."
Dumbledore nodded seriously. "I take it that it is unclear who will be the victor."
"Some saw it one way, some another. We're analyzing the prophecies best we can, looking for clues as to what actions to take and to avoid in order to swing it our way."
"And?"
Harry sighed. "We're still looking."
"Perhaps we should contact the Department of Mysteries and have them look into it."
"Would they?" asked Harry.
"I certainly think it is important enough to warrant a bit of their time, don't you?" Dumbledore chuckled.
XIXIX
That night, 17 Slytherins showed up at the DA practice, including Malfoy, flanked as always by Crabbe and Goyle, and wrapped in the slender arms of Pansy Parkinson.
After a week of using Legilimency on the Slytherins, Harry had had a pretty good idea of who would show up tonight, and he and Ginny had already discussed how to divvy up their numbers. Crabbe would be in Ginny's division, Unicorn, in Luna's platoon, Phoenix (Neither of them stated this out loud, but Harry and Ginny both had a bit of matchmaking in mind when they agreed upon this arrangement). Goyle was to be in Harry's division, Sphinx, in Seamus' platoon, Onyx Fire.
Harry and Ginny had long discussed the distribution of Malfoy and Pansy, and had decided that for safety's sake, Malfoy would be in Harry's division even though Harry would be uncomfortable. Ginny was still just a little too hex-happy where Malfoy was concerned for him to safely be a member of her platoon. Pansy was the trade-off. Ginny would take her so that Harry wouldn't be distracted by any remaining jealousy (which he swore was waning, but Ginny wasn't so sure).
But just for a little fun, they were both placed in platoons led by muggle-borns. Malfoy was in the Night Owls, Hermione's platoon. Pansy was in the Dragons, Justin Finch-Fletchly's platoon.
They had divided the rest of the Slytherins as they did every other member of the DA. Close friends were separated and each new member was sorted into a platoon of comparable age and ability.
More than a few people looked leery of the new members, so Harry began the night by saying, "The first battle of Dumbledore's Army was a complete success!" The DA erupted in cheers. Harry smiled broadly as he waited for the noise to die back down.
"The DA has grown by leaps and bounds this year. In our numbers, we have found strength. But in our hearts, we find solidarity. Dumbledore's Army will stay united in these times of division, in these times of distrust. We are here to train so that we can defend ourselves and those around us during conflict. We are not here to create or perpetuate petty rivalries. When we are together, House lines do not divide us. Merlin forbid, if we ever find ourselves in battle, we will not have the luxury of choosing who we stand beside as we fight. We must therefore be prepared to fight alongside whichever allies present themselves. So, too, must the DA unite.
"Tonight, we are working on ways to prevent your enemy from spellcasting." The DA began to divide into their platoons, and Harry and Ginny began to explain the specifics of silencing or otherwise impeding spoken word from an enemy trying to curse you.
Harry prepared himself for what was coming. He knew that he had to make the speech, but he also knew it would only serve as a warning. He and Ginny both foresaw that the DA would need to see his words backed up by action, and that, chances were, someone was going to get hurt tonight.
But he wasn't prepared for whom.
As he made his way around the room, he paused near the center to work with Lavender's group. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a dueling pair of third years in Unicorn turn and point their wands at an otherwise occupied Pansy Parkinson. Harry turned and yelled out "Hey!" just a moment too late, and Pansy was on the floor coughing up blood.
Harry rushed to her side.
"What the hell is wrong with you!" he screamed at the third years. They were a Ravenclaw girl and a Gryffindor boy. Their eyes widened with fear, and without thinking, Harry looked into them and saw their excuses. They were both friends of Christopher Billings, and believed for all the world that Pansy was the one who had attacked him. They were seeking belated revenge.
"It—it was an accident…" stammered Ryan, the Gryffindor. Daena, the Ravenclaw, looked at her feet.
"Bullshit," said Harry angrily. "I saw you." Pansy was choking, trying to get on her feet. Harry put his arm around her to help her up. "You two are suspended from the DA for one week. If this happens again, you're out. Now get out." He turned to Ginny, who had made her way over to them, and said, "Can you take over? I'm going to help Pansy to the infirmary. I think they caught her with a Consumption Hex." He cast a glare to the door where the two offenders were leaving.
Ginny nodded. "Go. I'll take care of things here."
Harry pulled one of Pansy's arms over his shoulder, and walked her out of the room. In the hallway, she tried to push him away, saying, "I can walk on my own." But then she fell into a fit of coughing, blood splattering down the front of her robes.
"Don't talk, it'll just make it feel worse." He took up more of her weight, getting some blood on him as well. "Madam Pomfrey will fix you up, but you'll be weak for a day. Dean was hit with a Consumption Hex in our third year and… oh…" Harry reddened, remembering that it had been Pansy who had cast it.
She looked over with a wan smile, and they continued on in silence. It was only after they reached the infirmary that it occurred to Harry that Malfoy had not come over to help his girlfriend in the Room of Requirement.
He sat with Pansy, cleaning the blood off her face until Madam Pomfrey brought her a potion that killed the disease within her.
"Are you okay?" he asked, as she stood to leave.
"Yeah," she said weakly. "I really need a shower." She smiled, appraising Harry. "You do too, by the looks of it." Harry looked down at himself, splattered with Pansy's blood, and smiled too.
"Here, look, if you do decide to come back to the DA after tonight, take this." Harry held out a fake gold coin that Hermione had charmed. "We're going to have another battle on Sunday, but the time and place are going to be a surprise. It'll grow warm when battle time comes, and the place will be printed around the edge, right here."
Pansy looked at him suspiciously. "Why did you have one in your pocket?"
Harry grinned sheepishly. "We kind of anticipated that I would be taking someone to the infirmary tonight. Honestly, though, I didn't expect it to be a Slytherin. I kind of thought it would be because of a Slytherin…" Harry knew he was blushing as he spoke this admission.
Pansy eyed him evenly, as though summing him up. Harry peaked into her mind, and found that was exactly what she was doing. She was also thinking, 'You don't have to worry about that with the DA, Potter,' but she didn't say it out loud, because the rest of the thought was, 'We'll get you some other time.'
"Yeah, I'll see you later," she said and headed off down the hall.
Harry sighed. After having used Legilimency on Pansy several times, he did rather like her, but he knew she would never stand with him. She was not one to hold opinions on her own, and the opinions of her family and friends told her she must side with Voldemort. Sweet girl underneath it all, but her strength went no deeper than the masks she wore.
Shame, really.
XIXIX
The Gryffindor Quidditch team had practiced hard all week, and as the team suited up, Harry was satisfied that they were ready.
"Those bastards never should have called a rematch!" snarled Ron.
"They'll be begging for mercy!" yelled Ginny.
"Crying like babies when we're done with 'em!" growled Christopher.
The team roared, and Harry was sure that the waiting crowd grew quiet for a second—they must have heard.
"Right," he said, moving to stand before them. "Slytherin ought to know by now that they can't beat us!"
"YEAH!"
"We've got them on skill, we've got them on—"
FLASH!
"Collin!" yelled Harry angrily, the flashbulb interrupting his pep talk. But when he looked to the door, he didn't see Collin, but a chubby young man with a rather large nose, and an even larger camera. Next to him was none other than Rita Skeeter.
"Great speech, Harry," she began, walking into the locker room.
"Rita, how did you get in here?"
"Very carefully," she said with a smile.
"What if my team hadn't been dressed yet?"
"Then we wouldn't have taken their picture. But as they are… Stephen, get some shots of the pre-game excitement!"
Harry stood by helplessly, but then saw the raw determination in his teammates' faces as they posed for the shots, and he just shrugged and went with it. The presence of a reporter and a photographer seemed to make his team feel like big-leaguers. They were in great spirits when they heard the announcer's voice calling them to the field. They roared again in great Gryffindor manner, and were off.
Harry had had a nagging worry about playing against Malfoy with their recent tryst behind them, but as soon as he hit the air, all concerns melted away, and there was only the game.
Harry saw immediately why they had called a rematch. The Slytherins had apparently cooked up some new moves that they wanted to try out against the one team that had managed to beat them this year. But the Gryffindors were ready with some new moves of their own. The hours Ron had spent pouring over his chessboard had done wonders for their already good strategy, and the Slytherins just weren't able to keep up.
Forty-five minutes into the game, Gryffindor was up 270 to 110, and Slytherin was really starting to play dirty. Ron had had more bludgers hit at him while the quaffle was on the other side of the field than Harry could keep track of. Ginny had nearly been knocked off her broom several times, but after one deftly executed maneuver, the Slytherin chaser who had been pushing against her lost his balance and went into a spiral fall that ended with a sickening thud on the ground below. Not seriously hurt, the chaser was back in the game, looking a little shaky on his broom, and steering clear of Ginny.
And still, Harry and Malfoy circled the pitch in search of the snitch. Harry was slightly disarmed by Malfoy's silence. Normally, they would be slinging insults and curses at each other all throughout the game, but this time, they flew past each other as though they were only vaguely aware of the other's existence.
Harry heard the crowd booing, split with cheers from the Slytherin stands, and knew they had scored again. If Malfoy caught the snitch now, they would be tied.
"Penalty shot to Slytherin… and it's in!"
Shit, Harry's comfort zone was lost. If Malfoy caught the snitch, Slytherin would win. Where was the snitch?
In answer to his mental pleading, he saw a small glint far below, inches it seemed above the ground. Harry turned into a nearly vertical dive, and saw from the corner of his eye that Malfoy was headed downward as well. He was coming from the side and had a much less steep dive than Harry. Harry wondered briefly if he would be able to catch the snitch and pull up in time to avoid crashing.
There was no time to slow down; Malfoy was gaining momentum and they would reach the snitch at the same time. The wind was roaring in Harry's ears as he stretched out his hand toward the snitch that was skimming the top of the very short-trimmed grass.
Malfoy was almost there. "Potter!" he yelled, his voice stretching out through time.
In slow motion, Harry felt his fingers just barely wrap around the snitch. His left hand pulled up against his broom, but he knew it was too late and he was crashing. He felt a violent jolt as Malfoy crashed into him, grabbing him, changing the trajectory of his crash so that the two boys went rolling across the field, violently tumbling against each other, against the earth.
They lay tangled in a pile, breathing heavily against each other in the shock of the crash. Their teams landed, as did Madam Hooch, and carefully peeled the boys apart.
Harry's fingers were still clutching the snitch. The stadium shook in the applause that went up as the winner was announced.
Without thinking, Harry said weakly, "Malfoy, thanks."
"Sod off, Potter," he groaned. But Harry knew better. Malfoy had purposefully crashed into him to keep Harry from crashing straight downward. Harry had also heard the fear in his voice when Malfoy had called out his name. Everyone else would have only heard a yell of anger or frustration. But Malfoy had known Harry was going to crash, and he softened the blow.
When Harry had pulled himself together enough to stand, the Gryffindors mounted their brooms for a victory lap. Professor Dumbledore awarded them the Quidditch Cup and every Gryffindor student poured onto the field to carry around their winning team on their shoulders.
Harry's head was spinning. He sent the rest of his team off to the showers, and walked to the center of the field to meet with Rita Skeeter for the short interview he had promised. Stephen the photographer snapped pictures of him while Rita asked light questions about the game, the team, and the Quidditch Cup.
By the time the interview was over, the rest of his team had headed back to the castle, and Harry had no doubt that the party was already getting started, and would last late into the night. He groaned inwardly as he headed to the showers, remembering that he had agreed to meet with Snape tonight.
Harry winced slightly as he pulled off his Quidditch robes. He was very sore from the game and from his crash with Malfoy.
Malfoy.
He had saved him from a pretty bad crash. Harry couldn't quite figure out what was up with that boy. One minute he hates him, the next he's trying to seduce him. Then he betrays him, then he saves him. It was driving him crazy.
Harry moaned as the hot water fell over him, easing his sore muscles. He lowered his head, letting the water fall over his shoulders and neck, gently massaging his frustration away.
"Thinking about me?"
Harry's head shot up when he heard the drawling voice. Standing before him was none other than Draco Malfoy, grinning seductively and holding Harry's towel.
"If I'm not mistaken," he continued, "You gave me some pretty great head right there." Harry looked around and realized he had walked into the third shower stall, the same one he and Malfoy had been in that night.
Harry wanted to tell Malfoy that he always used this shower stall, that it had nothing to do with him. But now that he had thought about that night, he could feel himself getting hard and didn't think his objections would sound very convincing with visible evidence to the contrary.
He turned into the water, grabbed the soap, and asked with as cold a voice as he could muster, "What do you want, Malfoy?" But as he washed himself nonchalantly, he knew that his voice had been huskier than he had intended.
"Oh, you know what I'm here for," Malfoy said, his voice low.
Harry shook his head, continuing to shower. "Enlighten me." He was unconcerned, unaware, unaffected…
He froze when he felt Malfoy's hands on his sides. Harry whipped around angrily and found himself caught up in a pair of very passionate eyes. Harry faltered, forgetting what he was about to yell.
"I think you know," whispered Malfoy as he leaned forward. Harry vaguely registered that Malfoy was still clothed and dry under the running water before he was taken into a familiar and much missed kiss.
Harry responded, wanting this so badly, willing himself to not think, to just enjoy the moment, to indulge in the fantasy, to lose himself…
Ginny.
Harry grabbed Malfoy's shoulders and gently, but firmly, pushed him away. Malfoy looked at him longingly, and Harry knew his own eyes were full of pain as he said once again, "It's over, Malfoy."
Malfoy shook his head slightly. "No it's not, Potter. I told you that already. You don't have the option of ending things with me. I'm a Malfoy, and I'll fight for you if I have to."
"Malfoy, there's nothing to fight for. You're a Malfoy. I'm Harry Potter. It's too dangerous for us to be together," said Harry as he thought, 'Not to mention you betrayed me, you rat bastard.'
Harry's gaze hardened noticeably as he turned his pain into anger. Malfoy stepped back out of the water, still dry. He must have used an Impervious Charm. He fixed Harry with a penetrating stare. "It's hardly dangerous for you, Potter," he scoffed. "And I've taken measures to stem my own danger, so you don't need to worry about that."
Harry glared at him. 'Hardly dangerous' for him? After giving his secrets to Voldemort, how dare he say that!
"It's dangerous to me because I don't trust you," he intoned threateningly.
Malfoy took another step back, and covered his reaction to Harry's harsh tone by reaching down and picking up his towel once again. When he looked back, his smirk was firmly in place.
"About that," he said, "I told you, I know that I lead a duplicitous life. And I know that must be hard for you to understand."
'You condescending bastard.'
"But I cannot openly be your boyfriend and not get killed. I have to marry Pansy. I have to fill my, what did you call it, 'obligatory arsehole quota' by being cruel to you and your friends. But I don't think that should get in the way…"
"Do you really think that is what this is about!" snapped Harry.
"I know that is what this is about," replied Malfoy calmly. "You ended things right after I told you about my engagement to Pansy. What I'm telling you is it will be a marriage in name only. Just like our relationship now. We're both free to date others, just so long as we don't do it openly, and we still produce an heir… what!"
Harry was groaning in frustration. He ran his hands through his hair and turned to lean his head against the wall. He reached up and shut off the water. He wanted to scream at him, 'I know that you told about Ginny! You betrayed me and my sister to Voldemort! THAT'S what this is about!'
But he couldn't. Because then Malfoy would tell Voldemort that they knew, and then Voldemort would know that Harry could still connect to him in his dreams. And then he might find out about Snape, and so many other secrets could all come unraveled.
'Merlin, what was I thinking to have started all of this?'
Harry turned back to Malfoy, and realized exactly what he had been thinking. Malfoy was eyeing him, and Harry was suddenly very aware that he was naked. He squared his stance, walked over to Malfoy and snatched his towel out of his hands. He wrapped it around his waist and headed to his locker to dress.
Malfoy followed him. "I mean it, Potter. Do you think I'd say all of this to you if I didn't? And anyway, I have some information for you that just might make you change your mind about me."
"I doubt that," said Harry with his back to Malfoy. He was pulling on his clothes as quickly as possible.
"I don't," came the drawled response. "Someone you know is in danger." Harry's heart started to pound. "And seeing as how the last time someone went werewolf hunting you nearly killed me in the hallway, I'd say this someone is rather importa—"
Harry turned around and grabbed Malfoy by the collar, slamming him into the locker behind him. "If you know something about Lupin you better spill it now," he growled.
"Easy, Potter, of course I'm going to tell you. Why'd you think I brought it up?"
Harry pushed into him, his eyes flashing dangerously. "Quit stalling."
"Okay, okay. In Albania. A group of Death Eaters was searching out a former member of the Order of the Phoenix who went into exile there. He's a known drunkard apparently, and they figured they could use him for information, but they were having trouble finding him until a certain werewolf sniffed him out for them. They're planning to get both of them tonight."
"Where are they?" snarled Harry.
"In the capital city—that's all I know."
"How many?"
"Five or six at least—they try to keep everyone outnumbered at least two to one, three or more if possible."
"When?"
"Tonight."
"When tonight? What time!"
"I don't know!" shouted Malfoy.
Harry slammed him into the locker again and looked into his eyes, quickly and carelessly pulling out any memory he could find associated with this attack against Lupin. Goyle's father was in on the attack and had told his son about it, who then passed the information on to Malfoy. Malfoy had told him everything he knew, which wasn't much, but would certainly be useful in orchestrating defense.
"Potter!" exclaimed Malfoy in alarm. "You're a Legilimens!"
"You're an Occlumens!" demanded Harry. Malfoy didn't answer, but Harry was immediately overtaken by memories of Snape teaching Malfoy how to shield his mind from invasion. Malfoy had not yet developed the skill, but understood enough to be able to tell when someone was rummaging carelessly through his mind.
Harry thought briefly of Lupin telling him to watch out for Snape. Was this a betrayal? Harry was panicked and angry. He had to get to Dumbledore. He didn't have time for this.
One more time he slammed Malfoy into the locker behind him, and he growled out, "If I ever find out you tell anyone, you won't have to worry about whether or not we're through, because I'll fucking kill you. Go ahead and betray me again."
A fearful comprehension dawned on Malfoy, and Harry saw flashes of the memory of him telling his father about Ginny. He had decided that that information would appease the Dark Lord's hunger for knowledge about Harry without actually giving him useful information that he could use against Harry in battle. It hadn't occurred to him until just that moment that he was putting someone in danger whom Harry thought of as an extension of himself.
"I'm sorry," he said shakily. "I didn't know."
"You fucking well knew! You just didn't care!" Harry pushed himself away and grabbed his things. Malfoy stood there trembling as Harry stormed past him to the door. He tugged at the handle and found that Malfoy had placed a lock charm that was specific to him—only he could unlock the door without blowing it apart.
"Open the fucking door!" Harry shouted.
Malfoy jumped to comply.
"Potter," he began, but Harry was gone.
XIXIX
Harry sat in Dumbledore's office, fidgeting. Dumbledore was busy contacting the Order's allies in Albania so that they could locate Lupin and Mundungus Fletcher and aid in resisting any Death Eater activity against them.
Harry felt helpless. Having passed along the information, there was nothing to do but wait.
Dumbledore had asked him how he came across this knowledge, but Harry had refused to say. He only revealed that he trusted the validity of the information, scant though it was. Dumbledore had accepted this, understanding that Harry was guarding someone else's secret, and would not betray their confidence.
He then began contacting Albanian Ministry officials by floo and Order members in the Albania area through Fawkes. And Harry waited.
"Harry, there's nothing more you can do right now. Why don't you go down to dinner, and then return to Gryffindor Tower?"
"And do what? Celebrate our Quidditch victory?" snapped Harry.
"And get some food and rest to maintain your strength."
Harry looked out the window for a long moment. "Will you let me know if anything happens?"
"You will be the first to know, I promise."
Harry skipped dinner, returning instead to Gryffindor Tower. He paced in his room until the growing noise of celebration signaled to him that dinner was over, and the party had returned to the common room. He gathered up his invisibility cloak and headed downstairs into the mayhem.
He spotted Ginny quickly and made his way to her through the throng of happy bodies. He felt really out of place amidst such joviality.
"Harry! Finally!" Ginny squealed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling him close. "I was afraid that Skeeter woman had eaten you alive!" She pulled back and caught the look on his face. Her smile faltered. "What's wrong?"
"Lupin's in danger."
"Oh, Merlin—was he attacked again?"
"Not yet. But he's going to be, tonight. Dumbledore's sent some people after him, and he'll let us know when something happens."
"He'll be okay," said Ginny definitively.
"I hope so," said Harry.
Ginny pulled him into another hug. "He will be."
Harry nodded. "Look, I gotta get out of here. Will you make excuses for me, if anyone asks?"
"Of course," said Ginny. "Where are you going?"
"To get some answers."
XIXIX
Having checked the Potions laboratory and finding it empty, Harry slipped quietly down the halls until he was standing before the stone serpent.
Harry stood silently before it for some time, wondering if he really wanted the answers he might find inside.
Eventually, the stone serpent said, "Invisible one, do you wish to speak to Professor Snape or just stand in the hall all night?"
"I would like to speak to the Professor," said Harry, only just then making up his mind.
"Then I will call him for you."
Harry waited with a budding dread growing in his stomach. Presently, the door swung open, and Snape indicated that he should enter. He then stepped out into the hallway and grumbled loudly about pranks. When he reentered the room, he cast a silencing spell and turned to the newly appearing Harry.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
"Well, I feel like my life is being turned on its side right now," said Harry as he folded his cloak.
"You know that I did not expect for you to come to our scheduled meeting after today's… events."
Harry shook his head and asked, "Why didn't you tell me that you were teaching Malfoy Occlumency?"
Snape sighed. "The information was not pertinent. I could think of no reason for you to know, so I did not tell you."
"Simple as that?"
Snape regarded Harry evenly and in silence. Harry glared at the lack of reaction.
"Does Voldemort know that you're teaching him?" he shot.
"The Dark Lord has insisted that I teach several students so that they can begin working for him without fear of discovery."
"And that is why you've been pushing me to read them—so that I learn about them before they close themselves off."
"Partly, yes."
"But you know that I'm a powerful enough Legilimens to get past their shields. What was the rush?"
"Harry, have a seat," said Snape, making his way to the sitting area. They sat in large comfortable chairs directly across from each other. "Once these students are trained reasonably well in Occlumency, the Dark Lord will have them working for him—even inside Hogwarts. Not all of these students desire to serve the Dark Lord, as I am sure you no doubt know. But they will not defy him unless they have some other place to put their hope for their future. The obvious alternative is you. However, Slytherins and Gryffindors are known for their inability to get along (Slytherins and one Harry Potter in particular). I knew that this relationship would not change unless one of the parties came to understand the other."
"So I'm a pawn in your game to save the Slytherins from serving Voldemort?" asked Harry, a bit angrily.
"I would have thought you'd want to help them."
"Had I been given the choice, I would have agreed with you. However, I find it rather offensive that I was not offered that option." Harry cast a glare at the Potions Master. "You have no idea what it's like to know them so well! I can't hate them anymore. In fact, I really like most of them. I know what they dream about, and I understand their fears. I relate to them—I want to help them, and they still hate me! They have no idea how close I am to them. Do you have any idea how hard that is!"
Snape held his eye. "I do," he said calmly. "I know my students well, and a vast majority of them despise me."
Harry paused. He had not expected that answer. But not ready yet to end his rant, he pushed on. "Well it was dangerous that you failed to inform me that the people I was practicing on are studying Occlumency. I could have been found out at any point."
"Harry, your skill at Legilimency far exceeds their Occlumency abilities. There is no reason for them to ever find out… unless…" he trailed off, catching the look on Harry's face.
"One of them is telling me that Remus is going to be attacked, and I carelessly drudge up everything I can find in my haste to save him," finished Harry.
Snape squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"That's right. Malfoy now knows I'm a Legilimens." But then Harry was suddenly aware that that wasn't all that was bothering Snape at the moment. "What—?"
Snape raised his Occlumency shields in response to his unfinished question, but Harry didn't need to slip past them to know what Snape was trying to keep from him.
"Malfoy knew about the attack, and you didn't," he said quietly. He thought back to the brief worry he felt pass between Snape and Dumbledore when they had met with the Order members from all throughout Eurasia. They must have learned information that Snape, as a member of Voldemort's inner circle, should have known—but didn't.
Harry sat forward in alarm. "What else has he been keeping from you? How long has this been going on!"
Snape looked away. "It is not any of your concern, Mr. Potter," he said calmly.
"Bloody hell it's not, Sev! I wasn't taking the potion this week! Anything could have happened to you!"
"It is far more important that you recover from your magical shock—"
"Oh, bugger my magical shock! If I had known, I would have found out if he still trusts you."
"Which is exactly why you didn't know," said Snape sharply. "Harry, you are reckless when you worry—and recovering your strength is far more important than assurances of my safety. I accept the risks that come with my position."
"But why take risks when I'm perfectly capable of finding out if you're safe!"
"And risk your recovery?"
"We met with the Order on Saturday—before the magical shock. I felt the worry that went between you and Dumbledore. Why didn't you tell me then?"
Snape looked away from Harry's penetrating glare for a moment, but then turned back with a fire burning in his eyes. "Mr. Potter, your concerns about Remus Lupin's safety in Albania have apparently made you reckless once again."
"This has nothing to do with Remus!" shouted Harry. He felt raw. Snape had touched a nerve. "He'll be fine! I'm not going to lose him too!"
Snape was silent and Harry's voice seemed to echo in the room, punctuated with Harry's heavy breathing. Then, Snape said calmly, "Harry, I want you to return to Gryffindor Tower and calm down. We will further discuss the side effects of your magical shock at a later date."
'That's not what we were discussing,' thought Harry angrily, and something clicked into place. Snape had baited him in order to close the conversation. Harry tried to calm himself without much success. He paused, and then asked again, "Why didn't you tell me you might be in danger?"
Snape closed his eyes and said quietly, "This conversation is over."
Harry heard Lupin's voice in his head, clawing at his heart. 'If you care about him, he can hide things from you.' Harry was tired of secrets, and decided in that moment he was going to get some answers.
He stood up suddenly and closed the distance between them in two angry steps. Snape stood up reflexively to fend off attack. Harry grabbed his hands, wrapped his fingers between Snape's, and pulled him close, forcing himself through Snape's shields and into that deep link they had experienced before.
Snape's thoughts were swirling with Harry's last question. 'Why didn't you tell me you might be in danger?' And a grief that Harry recognized was there, weaving through Snape's unspoken answer, 'I have much to atone for.'
Harry wanted to know everything, and he invaded Snape, pushing into him with all the magic that had been lying dormant in him for the past few days.
For weeks Snape had been concerned that Voldemort suspected something. He had only recently mentioned it to Dumbledore, and only because his death would greatly affect the Order.
Harry went deeper still.
Snape was not concerned for his life for the sake of his life. He did not dwell on such thoughts, but deep within, he knew, he hoped that he would not make it through the war. He could not imagine life after. There was not another soul on this Earth except for other Death Eaters who could understand the things he had been through. The Death Eaters had no future after serving the Dark Lord. Snape had no future after… after everything…
Harry pushed further, and suddenly found himself staring into a pair of penetrating emerald green eyes. He was also staring into a pair of jet black eyes.
He felt panicked. Harry would know all of his secrets. He was looking for Snape's secrets. Harry had no right to do this… no right…
Harry felt Snape's grief well up within him—his own grief. And now, experiencing it firsthand, Harry instinctively knew the small tie it had to another emotion, buried deep within, locked away and forgotten. Harry was compelled to know more. He fought his way down into himself, into Snape's self, searching for the connection between the feelings that maddened him and the young face he was looking at, locked into.
And there it was—a younger version of Harry's face, but with deliberate flaws. It was Snape's first crush at Hogwarts, and James tormented him endlessly. Eventually, Snape turned his attentions to another student, with flowing red hair, and brilliant green eyes. She strung him along, and then ended up with Potter.
And the night he found out they were together, Lucius came to him and took him to the Dark Lord, who promised him everything, but delivered nothing but servitude and torture and violence of an unspeakable nature. And Severus Snape locked away all of his heartache, and he closed off his emotions.
And he became the perfect weapon.
Harry's body began to tremble as the part of his mind that was Snape remembered years of the torture and death he inflicted on others, and the pain he himself underwent. All the pain he delivered; all the pain he deserved.
And he felt a great fury welling within him as he stared into the young face that called to mind so many forgotten feelings that he now repressed automatically. And Harry understood now why Lupin had been so concerned. He had watched Snape show an emotion toward Harry that Snape would not even admit to himself that he felt—he had so long ignored such things. Even now, Harry sensed these feelings enveloped in Snape's fury. But Snape himself was unaware.
Harry could feel—he could see—his body shaking with the exertion of magic, with the newfound knowledge, with the dawning comprehension.
He could think of only one course of action.
He calmed Snape's rage, supposing he was working a magic similar to that of Nicolas and Perenelle. Then he slowly drew himself from the Potions Master's mind. Once he was only himself, he stumbled forward, letting go Snape's hands.
Snape caught Harry against his chest. He held him up by the shoulders and glared into his eyes.
"You possessed me," he whispered harshly. "What did you see!"
"I'm sorry," breathed Harry weakly.
"What did you see?" repeated Snape, shaking the limp Harry Potter.
Harry's eyes flashed with the horror of Snape's memories. He could just barely make out the image of Snape's furious face before him.
"Sev," he whimpered, "I'm so sorry…"
The memories took him.
XIXIX
XIX
X
A/N: I hope that answers most of your questions. This chapter was originally going to be about 10 more pages (combined with the 15 pages from last chapter to bring it to a whopping 45!) But then I had this brilliant idea which will be the next chapter- and I had to end it here.
Speaking of next chapter, I may find myself in need of a beta for it. Anyone interested? If you are, email me (see my profile) or drop me a line in a review. It's going to be another doozy, I think, and therefore another wait.
Sorry!
Let's see… answers to questions that I anticipate will be asked if I don't say this…
Yes, Draco willingly told his father about Ginny. He knew he had to tell him something, and thought he'd be protecting Harry if he gave Voldemort this inconsequential information about the Weasel Girl instead. He never thought of it as betrayal, and never suspected Harry would find out about it anyway. The steps he has taken to protect himself that he mentioned is a reference to his Occlumency lessons with Snape. He is cocky enough to believe he'll be able to pull one over on Voldemort once he's trained. Will he? Wait and see.
Yes, that part where Harry possessed Snape really did mean that Snape has romantic feelings for Harry that are so far repressed that he doesn't even know about them. Yes, it is tied into his pubescent crushes on Harry's parents. Yes, it also has a great deal to do with Harry himself- Snape's gotten to know him VERY well in the past couple of months, and Harry's such a cool guy… Yes, this VERY repressed feeling that Snape has is related to that grief that's been welling up from time to time, although No, that is not all that that grief has to do with. Snape is passively suicidal (meaning he will not kill himself, but rather, expects himself to die in the war and will not go out of his way to save himself when the time comes.) So, as an emotionally closed off man who fully expects to die fairly soon, becoming so close to someone like Harry hurts. It also has to do with all those things he has to atone for. And No readers, lean forward, you keep asking about this there will be no statutory 'booty' in this fic. But no promises beyond that. (grins evilly)
And sorry if I caused anyone to unexpectedly crave crackers at the beginning of the chapter. I really did try to keep the cheese level to a minimum.
Thank you one and all for reading. Hope you enjoyed. Please review and let me know one way or the other.
Peace,
Kati
CS Whitewolf: I hope that clears up some of your questions. And, in my opinion, both Harry and Draco need a good boot up their behinds. But I"ve been trying to figure out how I can write that into the story and it not just be totally off the wall… it doesn't work. And I hadn't really thought about killing Voldemort without magic. Hmm… kitchen knife… piano wire… feed him too many WOW potato chips… Thanks for the review. I'm glad you still like it!
Celedriel-greenleaf: he had too. Don't be so hard on the boy. One might think you're Snape in disguise.
Pat2: Yay! Complexities! Yay! Not predictable! Yay!
Wintermoon2: You got the Narcissa Black thing too! You rock! And don't sweat the no review- although I now feel compelled to apologize if I forget to review any of your chapters. I get confused sometimes reading them in the group, and on fanfiction, and saving them to disk so I can read them on my laptop… and I forget if I reviewed. So, same to you! And really loved the PSL update- mentioning that even though I know I reviewed this time.
Malfoysnogger- ooh, finally got some answers about Draco, eh? And Harry finally built up his courage- and it only took a potential tragedyimagine that!
Slice: (giggles) (blushes) (snickers) Thank you.
Perin: sorry, had to happen! Glad you enjoy though.
Roxxanne: no, he's not. But he is in the DA. Thanks for the tip- PLEASE let me know if you catch more.
Nemati: Glad you liked it. Here's some more.
LadyLilyPotter: Why thank you. I'm glad you're reading, and I'm glad you like it.
Illucia- Right on all counts. Troubled hearts, yo. And yeah, Rita's nifty, I think. Thanks.
Tsyuno: Mortal peril, guilt trips! Gasp! What madness is this, complete with an archvillain laugh?
LizBethy: Ah yes, young angst. Gets you right in the heart, doesn't it?
Wolfen-alysha-draco-dragon: Woohoo! Thanks!
Rosalba- Agreed. Doormat!Harry sucks. And here you go- more Draco signed, sealed, and delivered.
Blue Bunny2: Yay! Glad you like it. And A Moment In Time! It's good, isn't it?
Madkornfan: Aw, but she's great! But, yeah, poor arrogant, deluded Draco. Thinks he can screw the boy-who-lived like he's any old student! Things are always more complicated with Harry.
PeachDancer82: Woohoo- glad you like the Harry/Ginny bond!
Yukari: I'm trying! I'm trying! There's only so much I can do and it still be plausible in this context! Thanks for reviewing.
Saccy: Kick ass! I can't even get my own husband to read it!
Emeline: how's that angst for you?
Silent-sounds: It was meant to be. But more stuff is meant to be later on, so chin up, buckaroo.
Firestar: Yay! Glad you like Ginny. Love me some strong female characters, and Ginny just kicked so much ass in Book 5. Thanks!
Kiki: Thanks!
Elebereth: Thank you! Glad you like it. And, it had to be Ginny because she's so strong, and she's so in love with Harry that she's even willing to sacrifice her chances with him to help him.
Ladybird (Chapter4): Thanks! I thought I had fixed that already, but I"ll make a point to get it! Let me know if you see any other mistakes.