Disclaimer: Heck, I wish I did own the Artemis Fowl books, but I don't. But I'm writing this anyways. Mary Sue and a few of the Ravenclaw people are mine. Most of them are based on people that I know, for your information.
Author's Notes: I am SO sorry for not updating for ages. I wanted to work on my 'Enter the Shadow' story, because it is my main project right now besides 'The Arilyn Chronicles' (At fictionpress). Anyways, you have to understand that this story is only my third priority. It may be my most popular, but it's not my favorite. 'Enter the Shadow' is the sort of story I love to write. When I write this, I have to force myself to write humor. I don't terribly like writing humor; I like writing stories with rich, extensive and complex plots and things like that. This really isn't the sort of story I specialize in. Thanks for reading my little talk, and I hope you understand why I don't update a lot now. Merci beaucoup.
Chapter Eight: Poison
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Ravenclaw…I'm in Ravenclaw…The thoughts ran through Artemis' head like a tsunami, crashing about and only bringing greater waves of confusion. Right now, he really wished he had some Motrine…
Numbly, he stepped off the dais, and walked towards the cheering Ravenclaw table. They were cheering for him, louder then they had for most of the others… Some of the Ravenclaw people, Second Years, by the look of it, scooted over to allow him a seat. He sat down, barely acknowledging that they were cheering for him, him…
"First Year?" asked a Ravenclaw, off to his right a bit.
He looked up sharply, and found himself staring into the face of a Chinese girl, with pretty black hair and dancing brown eyes. "I'm not a 'First Year'." He said harshly, more so then even when he was talking to a way-ward business contact.
The girl did not cringe, however, like one of those simpering morons, and only seemed to brighten. "So you're Artemis Fowl?"
He hesitated, and then nodded.
"Well," She continued, sticking out her hand. "I'm Cho Chang, a Third Year. There have been lots of rumors flying about you. Is it true that you took the First Year exams and aced them without any studying at all?" Several of the surrounding students leaned forward a bit, anticipating the answer.
Since gossip was as sharp a sword as his wit or any very large gun, he smiled vampiricly, and said coldly, "Yes. It was rather easy, after all." He refused to shake her outstretched hand, and turned calmly back to watching the Sorting Hat.
Those students not eavesdropping began to do so, and Cho said nervously, "Why aren't you in Slytherin, then? Even if you are smart…" She trailed off when he wheeled around and shot her his most debilitating glare.
"One: I don't know why I'm not in Slytherin. Two: I am smart, too smart for your puny minds to even comprehend. Three: Granger somehow managed to beat me." He winced as those words came out. Gossip, bad gossip, was a very hard thing to stop. Soon, all the school would know he was only second best. Not good. Not good at all.
A student, undoubtedly a Second Year as well, whipped out a notebook and scribbled something down furiously, her blue eyes intently watching him. He turned to her, and said coldly, "It's not nice to eavesdrop."
The girl smiled a bit, and brushed back her neat red hair so it was out of her face. "You are a wonderful one to talk, 'Arty', considering you aren't terribly nice either." She looked back down, scrawling a few more notes.
This piqued his interest, more then this 'Cho'. She had a lot of nerve… Then again, his reputation here had yet to be built to the heights it had reached in the Muggle world. So many people to cow, so little time.
He opened his mouth for a debilitating remark, but thunderous roar as 'Ginny Weasely' had been sorted into Gryffindor—The same Weasely family he had met at Diagon Alley?—and thus ending the Sorting Ceremony. Dumbledore, resplendent in a rich robe of purple with gold stars embroidered on it, stood up, tapping his wine glass with his wand for silence. "Another year has gone by, and new heads have come all empty, ready to fill with new information." Artemis snorted, earning a glare from the note-taker. His head was not empty. Far from it.
Dumbledore continued, ignoring such rude sounds coming from more then just the Ravenclaw table. "I shall leave you know, after a few notes on the rules and regulations of Hogwarts." Artemis almost chuckled, but stopped himself when he realized a few of the Ravenclaw people were looking right at him. "The Forbidden Forest is off limits, unless you happen to have express permission from administration, which we never give out anyways. Filch would like to add that his list of forbidden items has been lengthened, and although it is a tad long to say here, you may view it on the bulletin boards." He looked at a straggly man, probably Filch from his scowl. "Anything else?"
Filch glared at the assembly, and spoke up in gravelly tones. "From certain" He glanced at two particular people in the Gryffindor House—two Weaselys—and returned to the talk. It did not escape Artemis' notice that the objects of his annoyance were grinning at each other in a most guilty way. "people, I have learned that some think that the Observation Platform is a night-club or some such nonsense. Mrs. Norris shall be making sure that no such thing shall happen again." His glare intensified as a few people made mock-kicks towards the tabby-cat curled around his worn boots. "Understood?"
A chorus of yes's—and quite a few no's—were piped back at him, and he left the Great Hall grumpily with Mrs. Norris, the apparent 'guard', stalking after him proudly. Too bad Artemis didn't like cats. He had plans for Filch, and his little cat too.
Dumbledore looked after the retreating janitor mildly, and he returned to his speech. "Well, that shall be all for tonight. Before your stomach-growlings drown me out, I have four final words; Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"
Artemis was confused over the words, until he saw the mounds of delectable food making the table groan beneath the weight. Everything was there….. except his favored caviar and earl-gray tea. The many other foods, from Yorkshire puddings to simmering bowls of chicken-noodle soup, were all hot, and begging to be eaten. Quickly, he piled the nearest dishes onto his plate. He was about to reach for a leg of roasted lamb before a horrible thought struck him; What if it was poisoned? It was perfectly possible, given the sheer number of enemies he had made during his short life. Paling a bit, he leaned back in his chair, only to find it was a backless bench—and he went tumbling onto the floor.
Several snickers, most of them from the neighboring Slytherin table, met his ears. Brushing off his robes valiantly, he returned to the seat while retaining as much dignity as possible, and returned to his predicament.
The food could be poisoned. Or it could be perfectly safe. He glanced around at the students around him, seeing if any of them were dieing of botulism. The only thing they seemed to be falling for was the slight greenish tint from overeating.
He scowled fiercely at his empty plate. He couldn't fear his enemies forever. There was a fine line between caution and paranoia. A very fine line. But how to check?
Hw whipped out his wand, and whispered, "Venomost." to the heaped food in front of his plate. For a few moments, nothing happened. Then, slowly, it emitted a faint—but very real—green glow.
"Poison." He whispered, backing as far as he could from the glowing plate without falling again. Someone was out to get him. The plate was bespelled to taint whatever was on it to kill the eater quickly. That was him, and this was not good. Feeling slightly sick, he turned to Cho, who was delicately nibbling on a peppermint. "When are we leaving for our dormitories?"
Cho looked slightly surprised, but she said, "Soon. You can actually depart now, if you so wish. Penelope Clearwater, the Prefect, told me that the password was, 'Mistletoe'." She looked at him, her eyes gleaming a bit with curiosity. "Do you know where it is?"
Artemis nodded curtly, and walked as fast as he could towards the exit. Some others were leaving for their House Dormitories as well, including Hermione.
His mind flickered over the memorized blueprints of Hogwarts. Their paths would be the same for a while, and it was high time that he made her acquaintance properly. After all, she had beaten him. He could not afford to underestimate her again.
He sped up a bit as Hermione turned a corner, and was soon walking besides her stride by side and very alone in the long hallway.
It was Hermione who broke the silence by wheeling around and glaring at him. He stopped as well, and she planted a cross finger on his chest. "I don't know who you think you are, but it is not nice to follow people when it is not necessary."
Artemis grinned slightly. "Actually, it is necessary because this also happens to be the fastest path to Ravenclaw."
Hermione's eyes softened a bit. "So I heard. Congratulations."
"I did not want to be in Ravenclaw, mademoiselle." He said sharply.
Her eyebrows raised slightly, and a shocked expression formed on her face as she realized the full impact of his words. "You wanted to be in Slytherin? SLYTHERIN?!"
Artemis shrugged. "Can you blame me?"
Her eyes narrowed again. "Yes, I can blame you since you are acting like someone who can't change. We've all heard of the great, the evil Hugo de Fóle, and how he ransacked the ancient Faerie Realms. All those with Muggle parents were weaned on nightmarish stories on the news of what crime your family may have committed today." She laughed bitterly. "We've all heard of your evilness, Artemis. But what of your good? Is there nothing in that black little heart of yours?" At the end, she looked shocked at herself, but she let the harsh words stand, and she fled to the Gryffindor dormitory.
He stared after her, taken aback. It was the first time anyone had dared speak to him so since Holly's capture. She had no problem speaking her mind, and wouldn't hesitate to do it again. Women.
He frowned slightly, and continued to Ravenclaw's tower. His mind was reeling from all the events that had happened to him; two attempted murderers, being second best, going to Hogwarts, sorted into Ravenclaw….
This would require a lot of thought. And a lot of research. Thank goodness for computers.
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Holly looked at Artemis' forlorn figure, alone and confused. For a moment, pity flashed through her for him, but was erased by a bone-deep hatred of her ex-captor. He had imprisoned her once, and she had almost died in his attempt to gain more gold. He had no compassion.
She frowned. So many people were trying to kill him… Not including themselves, of course. They were just trying to bring him back to Haven for a nice chat with Root and a mind-wipe to go. Traces of poisons had been found all over his Gryffindor room, although McGonagall said she had taken care of that. Trapping spells had been placed all around his favorite chair in the library, which they had been forced to remove under LEP guidelines for the protection of Mud-Men lives. A smudge of a shadow could have been seen lurking around his window on the castle wall at night, although it had always managed to elude their grasp.
"Holly?" whispered Trouble at her side, nudging her in the ribs. "We should probably be getting out of here. The Spiders will be coming out at dusk.
She grimaced. They had found a hole in the anti-technology aura around Hogwarts about a half-mile into the Forbidden Forest. After they had retrieved their dumped technology and returned to the glade, they had made a brief contact with Foaly. Much to her annoyance, it wasn't until the third call that he had even figured out what was going on. Foaly seemed a bit rusty.
They had been walking between Hogwarts and the make-shift tree-house they had made in the glade, code-named 'Faerie's Gambit', for the past few days, trying to find an opportunity to capture Artemis without alerting that fool Dumbledore. It was trying indeed to have Trouble at her tail (Not literally) at every single moment, but they had learned their lesson from the failed kidnapping attempt. They had to learn to work as a team.
"D'arvit." She breathed, and turned to leave before the flood of students came from the feast. It appeared although they may need to enlist the help of a student. Female, preferably…
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Again, I am sorry for both the reasons listed previously and the fact that this wasn't a 'funny' chapter. Far from it. It goes uphill from 'Chapter Nine: Introduction to 666'. That won't be here for another two weeks, although 'Enter the Shadow' is coming along. As soon as I finish that (By the end of March, hopefully) I will turn more attention to this and you can expect twice a week updates. The plot shall not get any more complicated then this, since I've introduced all the needed elements to it. Not including, of course, Artemis dealing with his criminality and the Golden Trio.
If you are mad at me for sticking him in Ravenclaw, I am truly sorry. Here are my reasons that aren't plot-spoilers:
1. I wasn't going to make this 'Just another crossover'. I hate clichés, although I enjoy making the best of them.
2. Artemis is, after all, a genius. He is that, in my mind, before an evil genius.
3. Ravenclaw is my favorite house.
4. I wanted a larger rivalry between the four houses: Draco Malfoy vs. the Golden Trio vs. Artemis Fowl vs. Cedric Diggory (Yes, there shall be a bit of him. Not as much as Malfoy and the Trio, of course).
That is all I can reveal without a humongous plot spoiler that will haunt you for the rest of the story.
PS. Penelope Clearwater is Percy's crush, in case you don't know.
PPS. From here on out, I shall be working off notes that I take from Science Olympiad banter, so here are the credits for participants in my inspirational dialogue:
1. ME!, the Shrimp
2. Eric 'Egghead' Lunderburg 'the Sane'
3. Nick 'Knickerbockers' Nardin
4. Leslie Vaas 'the Chameleon'
5. Betsy Krupar 'the Parrot'
6. Andrea Lynema 'the Seal'
7. Jim 'Hobbit-boy' Lonergan (He looks just like one.)
Well, that's it for another two weeks. Until then, Namárië,
*`~Nallasariel the Weeper