Trapped in Loneliness
Chapter 4: Love or Lust?
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh.
Eh, after awhile I started to think about if I really should have Anzu/Seto in this or not...As I keep writing chapters I'll decide.
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All day and night yesterday I thought about Kaiba. I wasn't sure if I liked him or not. As I was getting ready for school today I came to the conclusion that I do like him. Though my heart might be playing tricks on me. I think I'm just lusting after him...Nothing more. But I'm kinda hoping it's more than that...and kinda not. Ever since Yuugi got together with someone, it broke my heart...and he also broke my heart by him and everyone else leaving me...Forgetting about me. A part of me doesn't want me to love or even like Kaiba. Maybe if I started to love him, he would break my heart by rejecting me.
Maybe I don't like him...or maybe I do! Ah forget it...I'll never know the answer to this now.
Crap. I'm doing it again. I shouldn't be thinking this much while walking to school. I could trip over something or get hit by a car. Oh well.
It's because he talked to me that now I think about him. Damn my emotions for thinking this. He only talked to me dammit. That doesn't mean he cares about me.
Screw it. I'll think about this problem later. I'm not in the mood to deal with this stress.
Oh look a card shop that has Duel Monsters' cards on display at the window....It's Yuugi's grandfather's shop...
Yuugi.
I stop walking and stare at the shop that is across the street from me. And then suddenly my emotions start to take over. I can't stop them. I can't move. I can't get myself to stop thinking about everything that hurt me.
Why...Why did he stop being my friend?
What did I do wrong?
Was I a bad friend?
No. Stop, Anzu.
I can feel my body shaking a bit...And my eyes are about to shed tears...About to spill all the pain I still have hidden away. The pain that is never cried out. The one that will never leave. The one I can never get myself to get out.
Dammit. I can't break down. Not here. Not now.
I continue to walk. I take deep breaths to calm myself down. I can get through this...I know I can...I think I can...
Last night I decided on something. I decided I wanted to become the number one duelist in the world.
That way I'll beat Jounouchi and Yuugi. I'll show them I'm worth something. I'll even show Kaiba I'm as good as, no, wait, I'll show him I'm better than him.
I'm sure that will get him to notice me.
I then hear a loud screeching noise and a honk. I stop moving.
It came from a car. A car that is an inch away from me.
I was almost hit.
"Eh, how expected for this to happen." I mumble. "Just like in the movies...A person doesn't pay attention while walking, and is almost hit by a car..."
"Hey! What the hell were you thinking?!" The driver yells as he sticks his head out of his window.
I stare at the floor for a second. I then see a bit of my watch that my sleeve is covering. I pull up the sleeve and look at the time.
It was five till school started! I'm not even near the school yet and I'm going to be late!!
"Sorry! Won't happen again!" I yell to the driver as I run off.
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Crap. Crap. Crap.
I continue to say in my head as I rush down the school halls. I just need to get to my class and everything will be okay.
Soon enough I finally get to my classroom door and open it. I made it on time.
...Or so I thought.
Right when I open the door I see my teacher standing at the board, staring at me.
I forgot that my watch is ten minutes behind. I am late.
"Why are you tardy, Miss Mazaki?" The teacher asks me.
Now my classmates are staring at me. Everyone.
Even Yuugi.
My anxiety kicks in at that moment. I start to sweat.
"I..." I begin, but the rest of the words won't come out.
I hear some chuckling and giggling from the class. I don't know what to do.
"Take these and step out into the hall for the rest of the class, Miss Mazaki." My teacher hands me two buckets full of water and points her finger to the door.
I step out in defeat and stand against a wall a bit far away from the classroom door.
I did well. I fought back the tears that almost fell. Now I just gotta wait till class ends. I can tell right now this is gonna be a bad day.
...And I didn't see Kaiba in the room when I was in there. Great. Just great.
To Be Continued.
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R&r!
Chapter 4: Love or Lust?
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh.
Eh, after awhile I started to think about if I really should have Anzu/Seto in this or not...As I keep writing chapters I'll decide.
-----
All day and night yesterday I thought about Kaiba. I wasn't sure if I liked him or not. As I was getting ready for school today I came to the conclusion that I do like him. Though my heart might be playing tricks on me. I think I'm just lusting after him...Nothing more. But I'm kinda hoping it's more than that...and kinda not. Ever since Yuugi got together with someone, it broke my heart...and he also broke my heart by him and everyone else leaving me...Forgetting about me. A part of me doesn't want me to love or even like Kaiba. Maybe if I started to love him, he would break my heart by rejecting me.
Maybe I don't like him...or maybe I do! Ah forget it...I'll never know the answer to this now.
Crap. I'm doing it again. I shouldn't be thinking this much while walking to school. I could trip over something or get hit by a car. Oh well.
It's because he talked to me that now I think about him. Damn my emotions for thinking this. He only talked to me dammit. That doesn't mean he cares about me.
Screw it. I'll think about this problem later. I'm not in the mood to deal with this stress.
Oh look a card shop that has Duel Monsters' cards on display at the window....It's Yuugi's grandfather's shop...
Yuugi.
I stop walking and stare at the shop that is across the street from me. And then suddenly my emotions start to take over. I can't stop them. I can't move. I can't get myself to stop thinking about everything that hurt me.
Why...Why did he stop being my friend?
What did I do wrong?
Was I a bad friend?
No. Stop, Anzu.
I can feel my body shaking a bit...And my eyes are about to shed tears...About to spill all the pain I still have hidden away. The pain that is never cried out. The one that will never leave. The one I can never get myself to get out.
Dammit. I can't break down. Not here. Not now.
I continue to walk. I take deep breaths to calm myself down. I can get through this...I know I can...I think I can...
Last night I decided on something. I decided I wanted to become the number one duelist in the world.
That way I'll beat Jounouchi and Yuugi. I'll show them I'm worth something. I'll even show Kaiba I'm as good as, no, wait, I'll show him I'm better than him.
I'm sure that will get him to notice me.
I then hear a loud screeching noise and a honk. I stop moving.
It came from a car. A car that is an inch away from me.
I was almost hit.
"Eh, how expected for this to happen." I mumble. "Just like in the movies...A person doesn't pay attention while walking, and is almost hit by a car..."
"Hey! What the hell were you thinking?!" The driver yells as he sticks his head out of his window.
I stare at the floor for a second. I then see a bit of my watch that my sleeve is covering. I pull up the sleeve and look at the time.
It was five till school started! I'm not even near the school yet and I'm going to be late!!
"Sorry! Won't happen again!" I yell to the driver as I run off.
------
Crap. Crap. Crap.
I continue to say in my head as I rush down the school halls. I just need to get to my class and everything will be okay.
Soon enough I finally get to my classroom door and open it. I made it on time.
...Or so I thought.
Right when I open the door I see my teacher standing at the board, staring at me.
I forgot that my watch is ten minutes behind. I am late.
"Why are you tardy, Miss Mazaki?" The teacher asks me.
Now my classmates are staring at me. Everyone.
Even Yuugi.
My anxiety kicks in at that moment. I start to sweat.
"I..." I begin, but the rest of the words won't come out.
I hear some chuckling and giggling from the class. I don't know what to do.
"Take these and step out into the hall for the rest of the class, Miss Mazaki." My teacher hands me two buckets full of water and points her finger to the door.
I step out in defeat and stand against a wall a bit far away from the classroom door.
I did well. I fought back the tears that almost fell. Now I just gotta wait till class ends. I can tell right now this is gonna be a bad day.
...And I didn't see Kaiba in the room when I was in there. Great. Just great.
To Be Continued.
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R&r!