(The sun has barely risen now, and yet there are noises outside. The door
opens and all of the cast members are shoved in through the door. The door
slams shut and on it there is a sign that says "DISOBEY THE RULES AND YOU
DIE.". Erik looks clearly unphased by the sign but does nothing to provoke
the wrath of the hostess. The cast of PotO get in their usual circle,
despite missing two people: Erik, Christine, Raoul, Carlotta, Piangi,
Nadir. Carlotta has a neck brace, her right arm in a sling, and a broken
leg.)
Raoul: So. . . Who will start off this horrid mess this time?
Christine: Well, I dared Erik to do something and after he finished he didn't get his turn because Madame Giry started beating Carlotta. . . So I guess he goes first!
Erik: Thank you, my dear. Now who to select. . . Nadir!
Nadir: Before you can say another word, I will pick dare!
Erik: (Smiling deviously.) I dare you to write a love letter to the kahnum, from you, Nadir Khan, send it to her, and post this as the return address.
Nadir: (Eyes bulging.) YOU MONSTER! YOU WOULDN'T! I-I'LL BE KILLED!
Erik: (Still smiling.) Do it.
Nadir: But I can't. . . I'd have to leave the room to mail it, wouldn't I?
(A postman suddenly drops in from the ceiling, blinking. There is a completely oblivious air about him.)
Erik: Now do write it, and please read it aloud to us so we know what you've written. . .
(Confused looks appear from all around the room, having no idea what is so wrong with this kahnum person. While Nadir writes his letter, small talk starts out amongst them.)
Christine: So Raoul, what did you have for breakfast? That hotel has the greatest waffles I've ever had!
Raoul: Well I had toast and jam, an omelette, pancakes with maple syrup, 3 english muffins, 5 has browns, 10 bagels with cream cheese, at least 14 eggs as a side dish, and an apple.
Piangi: Hah! That ees nothink! I had 12 crepes, 7 of thees omelettes, several croissants as an after beet, a stack of waffles that was about as tall as thees room, a stack of pancakes higher than thees room, 4 plain bagels, 13 onion bagels, 10 fruit baskets, 22 blueberry muffins. . . (Piangi continues prattling on and on, the clock ticking by.) . . .6 pieces of toast, 9 baked potatoes, and a side of bacon.
Christine: . . .I wasn't aware that they served all of that this early in the morning.
Nadir: Done!
(Erik promptly takes the note from his Persian friend's hands. He then begins reading it out loud.)
Erik: "My dearest kahnum,
Oh how long I've waited to say these words to you. Your eyes are heavenly fountains which all birds would flock to in minutes. Your hair is as untamed as the wind. And your petite little nose makes me tremble with joy each time I see it. I could go on and on forever about how your murder tactics fascinate me to no end, but I do not wish to waste any of your time. I love you, truly, madly, deeply. I only wish you could think the same of me.
Love, Nadir Khan"
Nadir! I only told you to write a love letter, not confess the deepest secrets of your heart!
Nadir: I do not love her! She is a mean and vile woman who's need to kill well never cease to repulse me.
Erik: And yet it enchants our little daroga at the same time. . .
Carlotta: (Cleary disgusted.) Just complete thees pointless dare so that we may move on!
(The postman takes the letter and dutifully runs out the door with it. It is only now that Christine realizes how much he resembles Firmin. . . But makes no accusations. They sit there for a moment before Nadir decides to take his turn, figuring there is no use in waiting all this time for a letter.)
Nadir: Ok, moving on. . . Raoul, you haven't had nearly enough excitement during this, so I'll ask you again. Truth or dare?
Raoul: (Seeming to understand better since the first time.) Truth.
Nadir: Who is hotter: La Sorelli or Christine?
Raoul: (In deep thought. . . For a change.) This one is hard. . . I think that they're both very attractive looking. Even though Sorelli has very enticing movements, Christine is definitely better in bed.
(The door creaks open. The guards are both peaking through the doorway to assure that Raoul does not say anything over the rating.)
Raoul: I mean, Sorelli just kind of lies there and waits for you to do something. She never even does anything once you're on her. And as for the bl-
Christine: (Slaps Raoul sound and hard across the face, not saying anything.)
Raoul: . . .Christine is hotter, no question.
Piangi: You and the La Sorelli? I wouldn't have guessed! I mean, even I wouldn't stoop to THAT.
Raoul: I was drunk!
Piangi: I'll bet 1,000 francs she was too!
Raoul: That's it monsieur! Truth or dare!?
Piangi: Dare!
Raoul: I DARE YOU TO KISS CARLOTTA!
(All goes silent. Carlotta looks horror stricken. Piangi looks dead. Raoul calms down after a while, and still no one has moved. He eventually has to get up and poke him. When he does, Piangi instantly begins screaming.)
Piangi: I cannot do thees, senior! Eet would keel me! Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeel me! (Stands up, looking down at Carlotta.) Back, you strange thing! LEAVE ME ALONE!
(Piangi then runs out the door, pushing aside the guards who are standing there. He is waving his arms in the air wildly. The hostess steps in through the doorway, looking a little shaken.)
WolfCloud CrimsonRain: . . .Why did you have to dare him to do that? We're never going to catch him now! He's going to keep running until he gets hit by a car and sent straight to the emergency room, and even then he'll still be screaming! Ubaldo, come back! (Runs after him.)
Nadir: I think our little vicomte has finally learned about the ways of torture. . .
Erik: Either that, or he finally picked an uncommon name that you can't change the words of. . .
Carlotta: . . .I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EENSULTED EEN ALL OF MY LIFE! You dare dare Ubaldo to keess me weethout my consent!? You, de Chagny are a despicable man! (Walks outside, slamming the door as she goes.)
Christine: Oh, by the way Raoul. . . I want to have a talk with you about La Sorelli. . .
Raoul: What about her?
Christine: (Giving Raoul an evil glare.) Raoul. . .
Raoul: What!? Look, we'll talk about. . . Whatever it is I did later, I have to go shopping for new slippers!
(The cast then exit, everyone cross looking save Nadir- Christine because of Raoul, Raoul because of Christine, and Erik just because he generally looks cross when he's not happy.)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Everything is © its respectful owners.
And yes, I have read the Susan Kay novel.
Raoul: So. . . Who will start off this horrid mess this time?
Christine: Well, I dared Erik to do something and after he finished he didn't get his turn because Madame Giry started beating Carlotta. . . So I guess he goes first!
Erik: Thank you, my dear. Now who to select. . . Nadir!
Nadir: Before you can say another word, I will pick dare!
Erik: (Smiling deviously.) I dare you to write a love letter to the kahnum, from you, Nadir Khan, send it to her, and post this as the return address.
Nadir: (Eyes bulging.) YOU MONSTER! YOU WOULDN'T! I-I'LL BE KILLED!
Erik: (Still smiling.) Do it.
Nadir: But I can't. . . I'd have to leave the room to mail it, wouldn't I?
(A postman suddenly drops in from the ceiling, blinking. There is a completely oblivious air about him.)
Erik: Now do write it, and please read it aloud to us so we know what you've written. . .
(Confused looks appear from all around the room, having no idea what is so wrong with this kahnum person. While Nadir writes his letter, small talk starts out amongst them.)
Christine: So Raoul, what did you have for breakfast? That hotel has the greatest waffles I've ever had!
Raoul: Well I had toast and jam, an omelette, pancakes with maple syrup, 3 english muffins, 5 has browns, 10 bagels with cream cheese, at least 14 eggs as a side dish, and an apple.
Piangi: Hah! That ees nothink! I had 12 crepes, 7 of thees omelettes, several croissants as an after beet, a stack of waffles that was about as tall as thees room, a stack of pancakes higher than thees room, 4 plain bagels, 13 onion bagels, 10 fruit baskets, 22 blueberry muffins. . . (Piangi continues prattling on and on, the clock ticking by.) . . .6 pieces of toast, 9 baked potatoes, and a side of bacon.
Christine: . . .I wasn't aware that they served all of that this early in the morning.
Nadir: Done!
(Erik promptly takes the note from his Persian friend's hands. He then begins reading it out loud.)
Erik: "My dearest kahnum,
Oh how long I've waited to say these words to you. Your eyes are heavenly fountains which all birds would flock to in minutes. Your hair is as untamed as the wind. And your petite little nose makes me tremble with joy each time I see it. I could go on and on forever about how your murder tactics fascinate me to no end, but I do not wish to waste any of your time. I love you, truly, madly, deeply. I only wish you could think the same of me.
Love, Nadir Khan"
Nadir! I only told you to write a love letter, not confess the deepest secrets of your heart!
Nadir: I do not love her! She is a mean and vile woman who's need to kill well never cease to repulse me.
Erik: And yet it enchants our little daroga at the same time. . .
Carlotta: (Cleary disgusted.) Just complete thees pointless dare so that we may move on!
(The postman takes the letter and dutifully runs out the door with it. It is only now that Christine realizes how much he resembles Firmin. . . But makes no accusations. They sit there for a moment before Nadir decides to take his turn, figuring there is no use in waiting all this time for a letter.)
Nadir: Ok, moving on. . . Raoul, you haven't had nearly enough excitement during this, so I'll ask you again. Truth or dare?
Raoul: (Seeming to understand better since the first time.) Truth.
Nadir: Who is hotter: La Sorelli or Christine?
Raoul: (In deep thought. . . For a change.) This one is hard. . . I think that they're both very attractive looking. Even though Sorelli has very enticing movements, Christine is definitely better in bed.
(The door creaks open. The guards are both peaking through the doorway to assure that Raoul does not say anything over the rating.)
Raoul: I mean, Sorelli just kind of lies there and waits for you to do something. She never even does anything once you're on her. And as for the bl-
Christine: (Slaps Raoul sound and hard across the face, not saying anything.)
Raoul: . . .Christine is hotter, no question.
Piangi: You and the La Sorelli? I wouldn't have guessed! I mean, even I wouldn't stoop to THAT.
Raoul: I was drunk!
Piangi: I'll bet 1,000 francs she was too!
Raoul: That's it monsieur! Truth or dare!?
Piangi: Dare!
Raoul: I DARE YOU TO KISS CARLOTTA!
(All goes silent. Carlotta looks horror stricken. Piangi looks dead. Raoul calms down after a while, and still no one has moved. He eventually has to get up and poke him. When he does, Piangi instantly begins screaming.)
Piangi: I cannot do thees, senior! Eet would keel me! Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeel me! (Stands up, looking down at Carlotta.) Back, you strange thing! LEAVE ME ALONE!
(Piangi then runs out the door, pushing aside the guards who are standing there. He is waving his arms in the air wildly. The hostess steps in through the doorway, looking a little shaken.)
WolfCloud CrimsonRain: . . .Why did you have to dare him to do that? We're never going to catch him now! He's going to keep running until he gets hit by a car and sent straight to the emergency room, and even then he'll still be screaming! Ubaldo, come back! (Runs after him.)
Nadir: I think our little vicomte has finally learned about the ways of torture. . .
Erik: Either that, or he finally picked an uncommon name that you can't change the words of. . .
Carlotta: . . .I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EENSULTED EEN ALL OF MY LIFE! You dare dare Ubaldo to keess me weethout my consent!? You, de Chagny are a despicable man! (Walks outside, slamming the door as she goes.)
Christine: Oh, by the way Raoul. . . I want to have a talk with you about La Sorelli. . .
Raoul: What about her?
Christine: (Giving Raoul an evil glare.) Raoul. . .
Raoul: What!? Look, we'll talk about. . . Whatever it is I did later, I have to go shopping for new slippers!
(The cast then exit, everyone cross looking save Nadir- Christine because of Raoul, Raoul because of Christine, and Erik just because he generally looks cross when he's not happy.)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Everything is © its respectful owners.
And yes, I have read the Susan Kay novel.