You ain't got a fever, you got a permanent disease
I'm just enough of a doctor to prescribe that remedy
I got lots of money but I got it terribly
Gonna take more than lessons to get this doctor a degree
I got all the tools I can count 'em 1,2,3

First I need
To get a knife to make me look less rough
Then you bleed
I cut the wrong place Calpol's never enough
On your knees
That's where you are after I am through
Shouting abuse till you die and I say we lost you

Doctor is bad at medicine
Bad at medicine is what I am
I admit, I'm bad at medicine
This ain't no doctor that can
Cure your disease

Bad, bad at medicine
Bad, bad at medicine

I don't need no needle
To be giving you a thrill
And I don't need no anesthesia
Or a nurse to bring a pill
I got a corrupt way of med'cine
It doesn't leave a track
I got a dodgy way of treatment
And you won't be coming back

This ain't no paramedic
Gonna save your heart attack

First I need
To get a knife to make me look less rough
Then you bleed
I cut the wrong place Calpol's never enough
On your knees
That's where you are after I am through
Shouting abuse till you die and I say we lost you

Doctor is bad at medicine
Bad at medicine is what I am
I admit, I'm bad at medicine
This ain't no doctor that can
Cure your disease

Bad, bad at medicine
Bad, bad at medicine

Solo

You need a respirator cause you're running out of breath
But I haven't got one cos I'm a bad doctor-you're near death

When you find your medicine you take what you can get
Cause if there's something better patient, well I haven't found it yet

Doctor is bad at medicine
Bad at medicine is what I am
I admit, I'm bad at medicine
This ain't no doctor that can
Cure your disease

Doctor is bad at medicine
Bad at medicine is what I am
I admit, I'm bad at medicine
This ain't no doctor that can
Cure your disease

Bad, bad at medicine
Bad, bad at medicine