Infinite Instant

Awakening to this present instant, we realise the infinite is in the finite of each instant. - Zen saying

The moment was pushed out of Rimmer's mind for the rest of the day as he tried to carry on with his normal tasks. But it kept its foot in the door and pushed its way back into his forethoughts frequently. Lister had laughed the whole thing off, telling Rimmer not to be so uptight. It was a prank and no more. But what if I hadn't come just then, thought Rimmer as he adjusted the flight co-ordinates to prevent them flying into an asteroid belt that Holly had assumed were crumbs on the scanner. How far would Lister go for a laugh? Rimmer was soon to find out.

Later, upon discovering that Lister had been nosing through his diary again, Rimmer decided to go and give Lister a matching black eye. Luckily he'd written nothing so far of the incident in the cinema earlier that day and how shaken he had been by his reaction to Lister's warm touch, but there were many other secret, private thoughts he'd rather Lister didn't giggle over along with the Cat and Kryten. He passed the Cat in the hallway and when asked where Lister was he announced in a load caterwaul that he was too busy looking for lady cats to know where gerbil-features was. Rimmer had a sneaking suspicion that Lister was back in the cinema.

Rimmer's suspicions were verified and Lister was in his favourite seat in the third row from the front watching "Poke-womon".

"I'll get him at his own game," Rimmer said and chuckled impishly. He crept down in the darkness and Lister was too fully engrossed in the adventures of Ashley Ketchim and her Poke-womon, Pikachunaked, to notice Rimmer tiptoeing behind him. Rimmer's hand shot out and grabbed Lister's arm.

"Smeg!" he shrieked and almost knocked Rimmer against the wall with his kung-fu reflex. "What're you doing?"

Rimmer tsked, "Oh, so it's funny when you do it?" He sat down next to Lister, enjoying that he'd ruined the film for him. Lister blushed, thankful for the darkness hiding his crimson face and other parts. "Look, I don't get much time to meself for this sort of thing, can you just go?"

"Lister, you're one of four crewmembers on a ship ten miles long. How can you never be alone?"

"Look can you just leave me so I can... sort myself out? I'll get ball ache otherwise."

"Don't let me stop you." Rimmer stayed where he was. Lister could only get out by either climbing over him, or by trying to squeeze between the other seat in the other direction, with a hard-on in the way. He accepted Rimmer's challenge.

"Alright," he said and carried on.

"What're you doing?!" Rimmer gasped in disbelief at Lister's total disregard and tried to pull Lister's hand away. Lister grinned at him as they grappled for custody over his hands. Rimmer finally had them both in his clutches but found himself to be balancing on one leg on his chair and he wobbled forward landing on Lister. They fell backwards together onto the floor and Rimmer rubbed his sore head, blessing the day Kryten was found. He didn't fancy the idea of stale popcorn and Pepsi in his hair. He felt Lister's erection against his leg and struggled to push him off.

Lister chuckled, "No no, you're under my power now, smeg-head." He rubbed his nose against Rimmer's, Eskimo-style, and a wicked thought ran through his mind. Rimmer felt the zip of his trousers move down.

"What're... Lister!" He wanted this power struggle to be over. Lister could win if he wanted; Rimmer didn't care. He wanted to get out of there before it began to feel even better than it already did.

Lister had completely forgotten revenge. He was revelling in the feel of human skin to human skin again. How long had it been since he'd felt it bar the occasional brush against the Cat's or Rimmer's hand?

He moved his hands up underneath Rimmer's shirt and behind his back and raked his stubby-nailed fingers down. Rimmer gasped and the orgasmic screams from the film fuelled his desire as he pulled at Lister's T-shirt impatiently. He sat back to pull it off whilst Rimmer unbuttoned faster than he'd ever unbuttoned a shirt before. Lister was soon back on top of him. Lister's skin was much hotter than Rimmer's and it felt like he was burning. The same sensation as Mediterranean sun beating down on an English tourist's un-protected flesh.

Rimmer pulled his trousers and pants down to his thighs and kicked the rest away half-minded, linking his toe into the bottom of each leg and tugging them past the ankle and off the foot. Lister's shorts had already been discarded when Rimmer found him and his boxers were quickly thrown over the seat.

Lister and Rimmer groped and nuzzled and bit and felt in the dark pink glow of the screen. Each reopening of Rimmer's eyes caused him to double take at the oddity of this. In his mind he could not comprehend this to be Lister. He knew Lister was more sensitive than any self-respecting Liverpudlian would openly behave, but Lister's way of making Rimmer feel less like a fish out of water than he had with Yvonne McGruder made Rimmer feel more confident than he'd ever felt.

This was new to them both and Lister was as tentative as he when Rimmer licked Lister's neck and jaw-line before finding his way to his mouth where they finally kissed. They weren't fully aware of it but they knew it was happening and their tongues battled and Rimmer groaned when Lister brushed his penis against his.

Rimmer grabbed his arse and forced their hips closer. Lister's dreadlocks whipped back as he groaned with the sensation of their fused bodies. He reached down and stroked their dicks in unison.

"Lister I'm..." Rimmer gasped and gripped Lister tighter. He couldn't come yet. He had to last longer. It would be the ultimate embarrassment if Lister did it to him again.

The room went dark as the film ended and the list of amusing porn star names came on and Lister fumbled helplessly in the dark for Rimmer's hand.

"Help me," he whispered and slowly pulled it down to their thriving penises. He softly kissed Rimmer's other sore hand and Rimmer traced his lip like a butterfly's wing over Lister's bruised cheek. His hand trailed shyly over their touching erections and Lister guided the pace. Rimmer shuddered as he neared orgasm and groaned for Lister to stop. Lister, not one to follow any of Rimmers commands ever, quickened the pace to Rimmer's equal horror and delight.

Suddenly, Lister grabbed Rimmer's shoulders and pressed against him tightly. Rimmer realised with glee that Lister had come first and he finally relaxed and allowed his own semen to spill and for once thought, bugger it all and forget the damn tissue, as he released in the same place as Lister had between their heaving stomachs.

It was both thrilling and disturbing, rather like seeing Margaret Thatcher on TV and thinking, "I'd do her if I had the chance." Lister is probably the closest thing I've ever had to a friend. And I shagged him. I had sex with my only friend and to top it all, my only friend is a man.

The film credits finished rolling and the lights came on and it was like some weird religious revelation. The moment had passed and we realised what had just happened. We were up and grabbing our clothes quicker than Bill Gates would after being caught shagging The Rock's woman. I wouldn't say Lister looked ashamed or flustered by the incident, but he had a strange expression I couldn't quite figure out. I was afraid he was going off to tell Kryten, or worse still the Cat, so I followed him out.

I can only pray that no one saw us scurrying down the hallway naked with our clothes bundled in our arms. He ran straight back to our room and simply said "Can I shower first?"

I'm not sure which was more suspicious; that he was being courteous or that he actually wanted to be within ten feet of clean water and soap. But I let him go ahead and I decided to use the shower in the room next door. When I came back he was nowhere to be seen, so I went to sleep as it was far past my normal bedtime.

When I woke up in the morning, Lister was fast asleep and there was a can of beer split on the floor. Obviously he fell asleep with it in his hand and then dropped it. There were splash marks on my bed covers indicating this to be so. He was making a fine job of avoiding talking about it so I was surprised to see a scribbled note on the table saying, "Wake me up around 4 for a chat".

Not on your Nelly, I said out aloud and I screwed it up and chucked it in the bin.