Revisited Past

Like a dream,
Whatever I enjoy
Will become a memory;
The past is not revisited. - Shantideva

Lister looked up from the diary, almost afraid of Rimmer's reaction. His dark eyes met with Rimmer's and they were finally the colour he remembered.

An autumn forest colour where the brown leaves danced together before meeting the cool green floor; Their dying moments spent in a display of optimistic joy. "I'll be back, better than ever!" they sing and twirl and sang did Rimmer's eyes. They were back though they died a long time ago. The green flickered amongst the dull brown and brought animation back to his face.

Rimmer stared at Lister. The same old cheekily sanguine grin he thought he'd known so well and now he found that he hardly knew him at all. Lister was a stranger. A stranger he had to know more about.

"How? Sh... show me."

"Eh?" Lister's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. Show him what?

Rimmer looked down and repeated softly, "Show me..." Lister suddenly realised what Rimmer meant and commanded the doors to lock.

"You sure?"

"I have to know what I've missed. Just for once Lister, do something for me without asking why."

Lister nodded and scratched the back of his head, "I'm not used to making a performance out of it."

"I'm not asking you to do it in front of a Welsh choir, for smeg's sake! It's me. Only me," Rimmer said and his voice became hushed at the last two words. His eyes lowered in a mixture of mortification and wariness of how his life had been in this time. How different he seemed. He knew he wouldn't have done any of it if he hadn't wanted to. But the notion that he had wanted to was bizarre. He had to know Lister's secret. How he made Rimmer act that way so unlike how he ever imagined he could act.

Lister moved down to the floor and Rimmer sat opposite. Carefully, and almost coyly, Lister moved down into his trousers. Simply reading their previous encounters had encouraged and stimulated him and he could feel there was little work he'd have to do. He had to make it a decent show for Rimmer and he lay back against the floor letting the cold hinder his erection slightly.

His hand caressed his dick firmly and Rimmer was immediately mesmerised by it all. He leant forward and stood on all fours over Lister's trembling body. Lister's face contorted with pleasure and Rimmer desperately wished to be a part of it. To feel Lister's quivering lip against his. He lay into Lister's own form and sighed as his body disappeared within his. Lister suddenly bucked and made a sharp, high-pitched sound.

"What the smeg is that?" he panted excitedly. "That was great!" Rimmer stared at him in confusion for a few seconds and then he realised what Lister had discovered. The light bee that danced and quavered inside of him and projected his image had brushed up against him in a sensitive part. Rimmer lifted his body up with his arms and thrust his hips aiming where he thought his light bee should be against Lister. The effect was astonishing as Lister growled in the back of his throat. He lowered his hips and the light bee shinnied down Lister's length and vibrated against his balls. "Smeg, Rimmer, that's..." Lister's sentence was cut short by another growl.

Rimmer toyed with Lister by moving the light bee away and back again whenever he felt like it and there was no way Lister could pull him back. He was totally at his mercy and Rimmer had very little of it. Lister thrashed and flailed weakly until Rimmer decided to be kind and unleashed the full force of the light bee. Lister came thankfully and fell back against the floor wearier than he'd ever been before. This hologram thing wasn't going to be as bad as he thought it would be.

Rimmer flopped down next to him and Lister nuzzled against the thin air where Rimmer's holographic form lay.

"This is just an occasional thing right? Until we find other humans, women and such. Just something to pass the time," Rimmer asked.

"Sure, Rimmer. Just a boredom thing."

Two days ago...

Lister and Rimmer stared out of the observatory at the stars and planets unimaginably far away and enjoyed the comfortable silence between them. Their friendship had grown to a state where words were never needed and a simple shift in body or a quickening of breathing spoke volumes in a moment that a page of words could never explain. They could read almost any feeling but Lister felt compelled right then to tell Rimmer something that he was sure Rimmer had not considered.

Something he hoped he wouldn't be ridiculed for.

"Rimmer, will be ever get back to Earth?" Rimmer's first instinct was to laugh at Lister, but the plaintiveness in his voice struck Rimmer deeply and his stomach felt unpleasantly hot and sickly from empathy. He couldn't lie and say they would but to say no would be mean, and Rimmer had long ago lost the urge to make Lister's every waking moment miserable.

"I don't know."

Lister felt certain that Rimmer was on his side now, and hoped his next statement wouldn't land him a smack in the mouth, "Rimmer, I think I'm in lo-"

"Mr Lister, Mr Rimmer! I've just discovered something amazing whilst developing some photos." Lister started with fright and laughed in embarrassment at himself and told Kryten they'd be right down.

"Now, go on, Lister. What were you saying?"

Lister stared into Rimmers eyes twinkling 'neath the light of a trillion stars. They were confused by Lister's reddened face and earnest with concern. "Nah, nuthin' man. It can wait."

He could wait.

That which I am, and the way that I am... I offer it all to you. - 'The Cloud of Unknowing'