The Prequel’s Prequel’s Sequel’s Sequel & The KP

by eponini

The Prequel’s Prequel’s Sequel’s Sequel and The Kleptomania ‘Posse’, to give it it's full title, is a story by moi, obviously, about random people going somewhere, and it's about LOTR, yes, yes, yes. For those who knows my, er, 'unique', style,

3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

In walked Frodo-do-do. H elooked around once, put down his keys to his Porsche, and took off his multicoloured hat, signed by Lucie Nash in eyeliner-badly-, and scratched his head.

"What the HELL are you lot doing here????"

"He, Frodo!!!! I'm Flicky!!!! I WUV YOU!!!!" Flicky screamed and fainted.

"Well of course you're Flicky!!!! And you're Nicole, and that's the man-woman, and there's Caz, and THAT!!!! THAT is LUCIE!!!! She's the worst...GET AWAY FROM ME!!!! I'VE HEARD ABOUT YOU!!!!"

He desperately tried to climb the door as Lucie waved hello. She looked around at her Posse, confused as hell, till Frodo opened the front door inwards and showed them a poster:

WARNING ALL FICTIONAL CHARACTERS!!!!

LOOK OUT FOR 4 DANGEROUS GIRLS AND ONE SHEMALE, THEY ARE POSSIBLY ARMED AND FOREVER PERILOUS!!!!

THEY FEED FROM THE LIFE OF LOTR CHARACTERS AND WILL DESTROY YOU IF SIGHTED!!!!

ESPECIALLY LOOK OUT FOR THE ONE WHO IS MOSTLY MULTICOLOURED AND GOES BY THE NAME LUCIE. SHE HAS A HIGH SEX DRIVE AND WILL RAPE ALL OF YOU-BLOOD WILL BE EVERYWHERE!!!!

NO ONE IS SAFE!!!!

"Wow." Lucie said, shaking her head. "They portray me as some kinda sex mad freak."

Flicky raised her eyebrows.

"Ok, point taken."

"PLEEEEEEEEASE don't kill me!!!! I have a wife, and kids" Frodo stuttered. "Take Gandalf he's no use to anyone!!!!"

"You do not have a wife and kids!!!! Sam is the closest to a wife you can get!!!!"

"True. ARGH PLEEEEEEEASE DON'T RAPE ME!!!"

"Look, Frody." Nicole wlaked up to him.

"It's Frodo."

"Whatever!!!! We're harmless really, we just get a little crazy around, Dom,-

Flicky: "Elijah Wood."

Caz: "Sean Astin."

Pokey: "Gamling."

Lucie: "Men."

-and we won't HURT you..."

"Much..." Pokey laughed.

Caz kicked her in the back of the head.

"S-s-so, you own't rape me...????"

"Nope."

Frodo sighed and smoothed his ¾ length trousers.

"Good, well I'm going to straighten me feet hair."

And he went upstairs.

Gandalf had sat at the back smoking through all this, and suddenly chuckled.

"Hey, how come you didn't know who we were, if we're such renowned maniacs????" askedFLicky, confused as per usual.

"HA!!!!" gandalf cackled. "I don't know anything that goes on outside my pipe!!!!" And he started giggling and fell off his stool.

And Pokey's trousers went PING up.