Taking Over Me
Disclaimer: I'm working on it, peoples. Lol. But as of right now, I do not own Charmed. Sorry! Try again next week! Lol.
You don't remember me but I remember you
I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
But who can decide what they dream?
And dream I do...
It's been a year since Chris' death, and I still don't think I've come to terms with it. I know that the little kids aren't. Sometimes when I just can't seem to sleep, I can hear them, talking as they dream. They all call out for the same person. Chris.
To this day I feel horrible for the part I played in his young death. The year I've spent here mourning him has been the worst in my life. I wish I could join him...but I'm not that selfish. Andy and Prue and the twins need me now. Now that I've killed Chris and there's no one else left for them, they've been living with me and my mother.
Some nights I even hallucinate that he's still there. That we're still fourteen again like we were last year and he's just standing there, staring out my bedroom window at the stars. He always loved watching the stars. Then I'll slowly rise out of bed, reach out to touch his shoulder...and he'll disappear. Poof. He's gone.
And then I'll cry, just like I do every night. Just lay back down and cry.
"Bianca," says an impatient seven-year-old Andy. "We're late for my soccer practice. C'mon!"
"Sorry," I tell him, breaking away from my wandering thoughts. I'm supposed to be over this. It's been three years. Why am I still thinking of him? "Catty! Cassie! Prue!" I call up the stairs. We moved into a house when they came along, since the apartment was too small. "Hurry up! We're late!"
"Really late!" Andy added impertinently.
"Alright, we're coming," Prue whined, pulling the twins along with her. "Sorry," she mumbled sarcastically.
My mother drives us over to the park where Andy plays soccer. But I know that he isn't always playing with the other kids. When we leave, he usually sits out. I think it's too hard for him to be there when Chris used to cheer him on whenever he was playing.
But Chris is gone. And I know that as well as they do.
The girls and I go window shopping out on the corner mall near the playing field. It's when their squealing about two dolls in the toy store that I hear someone call out, "Sam! Watch out!"
I whip around. I know that voice....My eyes travel in every direction until they finally lock on a boy, fifteen at the most, calling after a little girl in the street.
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me
His brown hair flies back revealing bright, alert green eyes as he runs out and pushes the girl back to the curb just before a car whooshes by. He pulls the girl onto the sidewalk and helps he shakily up to her feet, and she hugs him in graditude. The entire street seems to freeze at the narrow rescue, and suddenly there's a freaking pandemonium all over the place.
But my heart is dead set on getting to him first. That boy. It's not an ordinary boy. It's...
"Bianca!" Prue calls after me. "Bianca??"
"Stay put," I order, pushing my way through the crowd.
I'm running so fast that I don't realize I'm bumped hard into somebody's shoulder until we both hit the concrete. "Ugh..." I moan.
My victim is quick on his feet, helping me up. I gasp when I right myself and all time seems to freeze. For a moment I feel like I can't breathe. The air is frozen, too, along with everything I've ever been told...
"Are you okay?" he asks.
"Chris..." I choke. "How...?"
"You know my name?" He frowns. "Odd. Hey, Sam, get back here. You know you're supposed to be holding my hand. You scared me back there. You could've been hurt."
The little girl returns to his side and her big blue eyes glitter up at me.
"You mean...you don't remember me? Chris, it's me. Bianca."
He shifts uncomfortably, as if thinking about what a maniac I am. "Erm...I'm sorry. I don't recall," he says politely.
Sam laughs. "Chris doesn't remember anything. He got conked on the head or something before he came to the orphanage and everything was just a blank!" She shoved him playfully and he grinned back at her.
My eyes well with tears. "You...you really don't remember me?"
A small flicker of recognition seems to flash through his eyes, then disappears. "No, I'm really sorry," he apologized. "Did you know me? I mean...before I lost my memory."
"Oh. I..." I stomp on the ground. "How could this happen? To you, of all people?" I cried. "You can't remember anything?? Not even Wyatt and Andy and Prue and the twins? Oh, Chris..." I sob.
Chris seems alarmed at my reaction, and so does Sam. "Look...Bianca," he says, "I really have to go. See you around?"
"Yeah. Could you...meet me here tonight? Same place?"
"Er...sure. When I get off duty."
I nod. "Un--until then," I sniffle, shaking his hand to confirm it.
Have you forgotten all I know
And all we had?
You saw me mourning my love for you
And touched my hand
I knew you loved me then
"Bee, where'd you go?" asks Catty. Or Cassie. I can never tell them apart, especially not through these tears. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." I shift my gaze to their feet. "C'mon, let's go." I take their hands and we walk solemnly to an alley where I shimmer them home. My mother sees us immediately and panics.
"What happened? Are you all okay? Where's Andy?"
"We're fine," I assure her. "Andy's still at practice. Um...Girls, why don't you go upstairs and play for a little while, okay?"
Prue eyes me suspiciously before taking her twin cousins by the hand and dragging them up the stairs.
"Bianca, what's going on?" my mother demands.
"It's Chris," I manage to tell her after a moment. "He's alive."
My mother embraces me. "Honey, you're seeing things. He's been dead for a year. A whole year. He's not going to come back."
"No...I mean, out on the street while we were shopping. He was there, Mom. He saved some cute little kid from getting hit by a car." I look into her eyes, hoping maybe for just a glimmer of belief. But there is none. She thinks I'm hallucinating again. "He was real. I talked to him! He can't remember anything, he said his memory is a blank and it's been that way for a year. A year, Mom," I stress the word. "Chris has been gone for a year. That boy has got to be our Chris."
"No, honey," my mother corrects me. "That's a boy that's lead an unforunate life and probably just resembles our Chris." Her voice softens. "I know how much he meant to you...but you've gotta let go someday."
There's no point in continuing this conversation, I figure. "I know," I say, defeated. I look at the clock. "You'd better go, you'll be late to pick up Andy. I'll watch the girls."
She sighs. "It'll be okay," she assures me before walking out to the car.
No, it won't be. Not until I find him.
So that's why I find myself waiting past ten o'clock in the dim light of a streetlamp next to the curb where we met up.
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me
Finally I hear the echo of footsteps rushing towards me. "Sorry--I'm--late," he pants, tired after running. "I got held up. Tonight was my night to manage dinner."
He steps into the light and I gasp. There's a bloody cut on his forehead. "What happened?" I ask him.
"Huh?"
"Your forehead. It's bleeding."
"Oh...I'm used to it. I..." he trails off. "Look, I really have to make this quick. Before the warden realizes I'm missing."
"The warden? Chris, where have you been?"
"All I can remember is the orphanage. Everything else is...blank. The warden is the lovely man who manages the place." He laughs bitterly. "Lovely indeed," he adds with sarcasm. "Anyways, I was kind of hoping...that you'd know about me. I mean, who I was. I've been searching and I haven't found anything."
"Chris..." I held back my tears. How can I tell him what his life was like? What I did to him? How I betrayed him and killed the people he cared about? "I can't describe to you what a wonderful person you were. You touched so many hearts...and saved so many lives. It's so complicated. This may take a little while."
Chris hesitates for a moment. "Okay," he says, "but like I told you. I'm pressed for time, here."
"I know." I take in a deep breath and begin. "Your name was Christopher Perry Halliwell, and you were half witch, half whitelighter. Witches protect innocents, whitelighters protect witches. Your mother was a witch and your father was a bast--I mean, whitelighter." I pause to see if he's shocked or anything, but his face is blank. "With me so far?"
"I-I think so," he stammers.
"Good. You had an older brother, Wyatt, and a little sister, Prue. Your mother and two aunts--they're--um, dead now--but they made up the Charmed Ones, the most powerful force of good in the world. Your powers were telekinesis, time freezing, and orbing."
"Why did they die?" he interrupts me.
"Huh?"
"How did my mother and aunts die?" he repeats.
I hide my face in the shadows. "I guess you could say that I killed them. I'm sorry. You know that horrible magical force killing people all around the world?"
"Yeah...I recently joined the Alliance, cuz I knew I had powers. What about him?"
"He's Wyatt. Your brother."
"Wh-what?"
"The evil force is your brother. And I had to take orders from him and kill your aunts and uncles and mother. I'm sorry...because you losing your memory is my fault, too. You were left to take care of Prue and your cousins, Andy and Catty and Cassie. You were left to support a nightclub, P3, on your own. And..."
"And what?" he asks weakly.
I look in the mirror and see your face
If I look deep enough
So many things inside that are just like you are taking over
"And..." Tears well in my eyes again, and my voice broke as I choked, "And you we fending them off from demons right and left. You didn't sleep. You didn't eat. You had to, to keep them alive."
"Wait...you said I had a dad. Where was he?" he asks, confused. "Dead?"
"Worse. He was under a spell and constantly trying to kill you." I clear my throat, remembering Leo. Does he know about this? Should I tell him Chris is here? "He's okay, now, I guess. I haven't seen him in a while. He was a real mess after you died. Everybody was. We all care about you so much..."
"I'm not dead," he asserted. "I'm here. Keep going. What happened? Why does everyone think I'm dead? Why can't I remember anything?"
"Because one day, a demon attacked and you were caught off guard. You told the littler kids to go upstairs...you fought the demon...and..." I let out a sob. "When I came down the stairs, I found you dying with a gaping hole in your stomach. There was no way to save you. Your dad was under the spell, and it was too late by the time it was broken. You were dead."
He's silent, staring at the ground.
"Do you remember anything now?"
He sighs, crestfallen. His green eyes are welled with tears, too. "No," he admits. "It's still a blank. I can't remember anything. Not even you."
"We were in love," I add softly after a moment. "Come with me, to my house. We can use spells. We can help you get your memory back."
He smiles sadly. "I'm sorry, but I can't; there are some things more important than my memory. I can't leave the orphanage. The warden...he hurts people. Badly. I'm the only one there to defend the little kids when they do something wrong."
"Oh...so...that explains the cut." I let out another sob. "It's not fair. You don't deserve this." As I start to cry, I instinctively fall into his arms. He doesn't flinch.
"Neither do they," he says firmly. "Good-bye, Bianca. I'm really sorry. Thank you...for everything you've done for me tonight."
"Don't thank me. I ruined your life."
He smiles at me. "No...you probably saved the lives of those little kids at the orphanage. No matter what the intention, it turned out t be a good thing. So don't worry. I'll be fine." He frowns for a moment. "I still don't understand how I came back without a memory if I died."
"Magic," I blubber. "Everything's all the fault of magic."
There's a long pause. "Good-bye," he says after a moment, slowly rising to his feet. "It was...nice to meet you."
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me
It's not good-bye, though. I follow him through the twisting alleys. Where could he possibly be headed, running so quickly? His movements are so swift, I can barely hear him moving. The only evidence of his presence is his shadow, dancing rapidly alongside him. I guess some things never change. He'll always be hiding from something.
Is he hiding from me? Does he know I'm here, behind him?
He takes a moment to catch his breath, leaning on the brick I shiver involuntarily on the other side of the dumpster, waiting for him.
"What the hell...?" I hear him gasp. I jump out from my hiding place and see a darklighter smirking just yards away from him, and Chris frozen in shock and confusion. "You're the warden! How--?"
"There will be no new members of the Alliance while I'm around..." he sneers. "Especially the twice-blessed like Wyatt."
"I'm not--" He never finishes the sentence. A croak of surprise escapes him and the next thing I know, he's fallen to his knees, the arrow sticking out of his gut.
No. Not again. Anything but this...I just found him! I need him! More than anything in the world! I can't handle him dying again, not like this. It's not fair. I'd have killed him twice. If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't even be out here in the dead of night, vulnerable and afraid.
The darklighter--presumably the "warden" that had caused all the suffering so long--black orbs away, giving me a salute and sickening smile.
I don't even stop to think. I run over to Chris and tug out the arrow as he moans. "LEO! LEO, PLEASE! LEO WYATT, GET DOWN HERE!" I take a deep breath, then continue, "LEO! LEO! WHERE ARE YOU? LEO!!"
The orbs materialize and a panicked Leo is facing me, utter shock painted all over his face. "How...? Is that...?"
"He's dying!" I scream. "I can't lose him again! Hurry!"
"Bianca..." he gasps, coughing up blood.
"It's okay," I assure him as Leo rushes up to heal him. "Please be okay..."
I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I have to be with you to live to breathe
You're taking over me
He opens his eyes, catching his breath, and I realize...it's the first time I've ever seen him cry.
He buried his head in his hands, erupting like a volcano that held in the lava too long. Leo draws him into a hug, crying as well, and for once Chris accepts him.
And for once, I see him in a whole new perspective. He's not closed in and pushing people away. He's not stone-cold and hiding his terror, his anger, his sadness. I smile, and finally he blurts out--
Taking over me
Your taking over me
Taking over me
Taking over me
"I can remember now."
THE END!! Okay...that was a long song fic. Phew! Lol. RnR, plz!!
Pink-Charmed-One