Author's Note: I am so sorry for the length of time it has taken me to
write this chapter. I just could not get it to sound right. I have had
the first six paragraphs written for over a month but when it came time for
character interaction I hit a wall. I can picture the scene in my head
exactly the way I want it but I cannot seem to translate it into words. It
is really frustrating. Warning my version of Wufei could be considered
very OOC but the way I see it is that Wufei was originally a scholar before
he became a warrior so his philosophical outlook in this chapter is only to
be expected.
Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this work of fiction belong to their creator and that is not me. Only the plot of this story is my intellectual property.
Malaise
By Wavewalker
Chapter 3: Dream Or Reality?
Duo was floating, which confused him there were no lakes or oceans on L2 or public pools. And if there had been they definitely would not have been this warm. It was warm, very warm nearly too hot. He drifted trying to determine why it was so warm when something disturbed his stupor. Hands, someone was touching him.
Duo struggled to get away from the hands removing his clothes. Where was he, and where was Solo? Solo promised that no one would touch him now that he was part of his gang. Had Solo lied? What was happening? He couldn't get his body to work right or even open his eyes. He waited for the person holding him to force him onto his stomach and started to brace himself for the pain to come.
The sudden cold at his brow shocked him and sent his thoughts reeling, and with sudden clarity he remembered that Solo was dead. So where was he, at the church? Was Sister Helen giving him a bath? He tried to protest that others should be using the hard to come by water; not him, not the kid no one wanted. The hands did not stop moving, but they did not hurt him so he relaxed and drifted.
When he surfaced next he caught the sent of smoke. Smoke was bad; due to the lack of water any fires on L2 could become dangerous out of control blazes in no time. Where was it coming from.the church? No Father Maxwell, Sister Helen! He tried to move towards the church, to try and save the only two people he had left that cared if he lived or died. It was like he was suspended in something like the taffy that Solo had stolen for them once, he could not move forward. And again the image shattered at the shock of something cold touching him. He drifted once again.
Was that a voice? Where was he? Duo began to pull his scattered thoughts together. He had been alone at the safe house. Had he been captured? No. Oz did not have fireplaces in their cells. So who was with him one of the other pilots? He knew there was some reason that having one of the others here was a bad thing. What was it again? And why was he so hot? His head was pounding so hard that he was having trouble keeping his thoughts in order due to the pain. It suddenly clicked he was sick and he did not want any one to know, if they did they would think he was weak and worthless.
The voice spoke again, Duo knew he should know it but it was so soft and his head was pounding, the sound of blood rushing in his ears distorting things further. The touch of a cool hand on his cheek startled him from his thoughts; he instinctively turned his face towards the gentle touch. He really wanted to see who was touching him, his eyes slowly fluttered open and he found himself face to face with Wufei.
Violet eyes locked with onyx and all Duo could think as his heart plummeted was, 'Oh shit! Of all the people why did it have to be Wufei? He hates me, and this will only confirm his opinion that I am not worthy to be a Gundam pilot.' Duo tried to pull away from the hand on his face; shame and fear flooded his system making him desperate to break eye contact. Not fear of physical harm, he could handle that, but fear of rejection. He braced himself for the harsh words he was sure were coming.
Wufei winced at the sudden wariness that appeared in Duo's eyes as he realised who was touching him. 'Does he really think I will hurt him? Well given my previous reactions to his supposed faults, he probably expects me to start ranting at him.' When Duo started to pull his face away he quickly withdrew his hand.
Wufei clenched his eyes shut and looked down, he was greatly pained by Duo's response. From his observations of Duo's behaviour when around Quatre and Heero he had concluded that Duo was a very physical person. He was almost always touching or at least attempting to touch one of them if they were in the same room. Heero usually pushed him away muttering threats while Quatre often returned the hugs and casual pats. Even Trowa seemed to tolerate Duo's exuberant greetings.
'I am the only one he avoids touching. I am not surprised considering how I reacted the first time he hugged me. I believe I pushed him away and made some inane comment about how weak and foolish he was. It is no wonder that he expects reprisals from me; I have never shown him anything but scorn in the past.
I hate my temper; it has caused me nothing but trouble both now and in the past with Meiran. I should have recognized the signs long before now, the last time I had such a violent reaction to someone I ended up marrying her. True the marriage was a forgone conclusion considering it was arranged by our parents, but I did come to love her and I would have enjoyed having someone so vivacious with me the rest of my life. We had just managed to come to an understanding when she died and now my accursed temper has nearly caused my to miss out on second chance at happiness.
What ever happens in the future I have to try to fix my relationship with Duo, for he deserves nothing less than the security of all of our friendships. He is what keeps us sane, always there to break us out of sombre moods. I allowed myself to be blinded by anger and misconstrued his jokes and pranks as the acts of an immature idiot when they were really carefully planned sorties designed to relieve tension.
I have to admit that they even worked on me. I may wince at how hurtful my responses were to his tactics but without the stress relief I would probably have lost it by now. He is like a light we all gravitate around, he keeps us all grounded in reality while the world around use sinks into chaos. Now all I have to do is convince him that I wish to be his friend for that is all I dare hope for at the moment. I must put aside my desires and repair the damage I have caused if that can be accomplished only then will I allow myself to dream of something more.
Author's Note # 2: I originally intended for there to be more interaction between Wufei and Duo but as I mentioned above I am having problems writing that scene and Wufei's internal dialogue just seemed to flow, once I started I could not stop. I will try to get more of this fic written and posted soon but no promises my school work is much more important than writing fan fiction. I have a major research paper due next week and the usual assortment of lab reports to write up as well. On the bright side of things I only have until the middle of April then I will be done school until September. If you spot any glaring mistakes could you please inform me either in a review or in an email? All comments on my work are welcome and I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Until the next time happy reading.
Disclaimer: The characters portrayed in this work of fiction belong to their creator and that is not me. Only the plot of this story is my intellectual property.
Malaise
By Wavewalker
Chapter 3: Dream Or Reality?
Duo was floating, which confused him there were no lakes or oceans on L2 or public pools. And if there had been they definitely would not have been this warm. It was warm, very warm nearly too hot. He drifted trying to determine why it was so warm when something disturbed his stupor. Hands, someone was touching him.
Duo struggled to get away from the hands removing his clothes. Where was he, and where was Solo? Solo promised that no one would touch him now that he was part of his gang. Had Solo lied? What was happening? He couldn't get his body to work right or even open his eyes. He waited for the person holding him to force him onto his stomach and started to brace himself for the pain to come.
The sudden cold at his brow shocked him and sent his thoughts reeling, and with sudden clarity he remembered that Solo was dead. So where was he, at the church? Was Sister Helen giving him a bath? He tried to protest that others should be using the hard to come by water; not him, not the kid no one wanted. The hands did not stop moving, but they did not hurt him so he relaxed and drifted.
When he surfaced next he caught the sent of smoke. Smoke was bad; due to the lack of water any fires on L2 could become dangerous out of control blazes in no time. Where was it coming from.the church? No Father Maxwell, Sister Helen! He tried to move towards the church, to try and save the only two people he had left that cared if he lived or died. It was like he was suspended in something like the taffy that Solo had stolen for them once, he could not move forward. And again the image shattered at the shock of something cold touching him. He drifted once again.
Was that a voice? Where was he? Duo began to pull his scattered thoughts together. He had been alone at the safe house. Had he been captured? No. Oz did not have fireplaces in their cells. So who was with him one of the other pilots? He knew there was some reason that having one of the others here was a bad thing. What was it again? And why was he so hot? His head was pounding so hard that he was having trouble keeping his thoughts in order due to the pain. It suddenly clicked he was sick and he did not want any one to know, if they did they would think he was weak and worthless.
The voice spoke again, Duo knew he should know it but it was so soft and his head was pounding, the sound of blood rushing in his ears distorting things further. The touch of a cool hand on his cheek startled him from his thoughts; he instinctively turned his face towards the gentle touch. He really wanted to see who was touching him, his eyes slowly fluttered open and he found himself face to face with Wufei.
Violet eyes locked with onyx and all Duo could think as his heart plummeted was, 'Oh shit! Of all the people why did it have to be Wufei? He hates me, and this will only confirm his opinion that I am not worthy to be a Gundam pilot.' Duo tried to pull away from the hand on his face; shame and fear flooded his system making him desperate to break eye contact. Not fear of physical harm, he could handle that, but fear of rejection. He braced himself for the harsh words he was sure were coming.
Wufei winced at the sudden wariness that appeared in Duo's eyes as he realised who was touching him. 'Does he really think I will hurt him? Well given my previous reactions to his supposed faults, he probably expects me to start ranting at him.' When Duo started to pull his face away he quickly withdrew his hand.
Wufei clenched his eyes shut and looked down, he was greatly pained by Duo's response. From his observations of Duo's behaviour when around Quatre and Heero he had concluded that Duo was a very physical person. He was almost always touching or at least attempting to touch one of them if they were in the same room. Heero usually pushed him away muttering threats while Quatre often returned the hugs and casual pats. Even Trowa seemed to tolerate Duo's exuberant greetings.
'I am the only one he avoids touching. I am not surprised considering how I reacted the first time he hugged me. I believe I pushed him away and made some inane comment about how weak and foolish he was. It is no wonder that he expects reprisals from me; I have never shown him anything but scorn in the past.
I hate my temper; it has caused me nothing but trouble both now and in the past with Meiran. I should have recognized the signs long before now, the last time I had such a violent reaction to someone I ended up marrying her. True the marriage was a forgone conclusion considering it was arranged by our parents, but I did come to love her and I would have enjoyed having someone so vivacious with me the rest of my life. We had just managed to come to an understanding when she died and now my accursed temper has nearly caused my to miss out on second chance at happiness.
What ever happens in the future I have to try to fix my relationship with Duo, for he deserves nothing less than the security of all of our friendships. He is what keeps us sane, always there to break us out of sombre moods. I allowed myself to be blinded by anger and misconstrued his jokes and pranks as the acts of an immature idiot when they were really carefully planned sorties designed to relieve tension.
I have to admit that they even worked on me. I may wince at how hurtful my responses were to his tactics but without the stress relief I would probably have lost it by now. He is like a light we all gravitate around, he keeps us all grounded in reality while the world around use sinks into chaos. Now all I have to do is convince him that I wish to be his friend for that is all I dare hope for at the moment. I must put aside my desires and repair the damage I have caused if that can be accomplished only then will I allow myself to dream of something more.
Author's Note # 2: I originally intended for there to be more interaction between Wufei and Duo but as I mentioned above I am having problems writing that scene and Wufei's internal dialogue just seemed to flow, once I started I could not stop. I will try to get more of this fic written and posted soon but no promises my school work is much more important than writing fan fiction. I have a major research paper due next week and the usual assortment of lab reports to write up as well. On the bright side of things I only have until the middle of April then I will be done school until September. If you spot any glaring mistakes could you please inform me either in a review or in an email? All comments on my work are welcome and I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Until the next time happy reading.