Christmas Wish

This story takes place one year after Broken Dreams.

I can't run anymore
I fall before you
Here I am
I have nothing left
I can't run anymore
I fall before you
Here I am
I have nothing left

December 22 , 197 after colony

A young woman sat alone in a big, luxurious room. She was on her bed writing in a diary. Her hair captured in a messy braid, some strands hanging in her face. The girl, Relena, wore a pair of blue jeans and a soft peach-colored blouse.

Never thought I could hate someone
But...
I hate you Heero Yuy,
I can't stand the loneliness.
Your betrayal, I hate you
I'll never forgive you

A tear slipped down her cheek and landed on the page, causing the last words to blur.

Still remember me?
Days. Weeks. Months. A year floats by in a second. Yet it seems like an eternity waiting for you, begging for you. Hating you.
Hating you for not saving me.
The disappointment every time I hear the phone ring, and I know it's not you.
Sorrow every time the doorbell rings, but you are never standing there.
My heart breaks when I hear soft knocks on the window and I see it's just the branch of a tree.
I hate you, I hate you because... I need you.

Last Christmas was hell and the months after it weren't much better. I barely left my room, not even going to school.
I tried hating you. I tried to stop loving you.
But I know I can't go on like this anymore.
I could never hate you.
Surrendering to you, stop running from my feelings, come for me before my loneliness kills me.

Relena walked over to the window and placed her hand against the cold glass before sitting down on the window-sill. Soft snow whirled slowly towards the ground, a December wind freezing the trees.

"Relena?" A male voice sounded through the room.

Surprised, she turned to face the intruder of her thoughts.

"I was hoping we could celebrate Christmas together. Just the two of us."

"I don't feel like celebrating." Relena looked away from her father.

"But you can't stay in you're room forever, Relena." Her father glared at her, slightly annoyed.

Relena looked at her father, her eyes tired, "No, thank you, I think I'll spend Christmas right here, waiting." She turned her glare away from her father and back to the window.

He sighed, "Have it your way, unthankful ..." He didn't finish his sentence and left the room.

'How is it that some people don't understand they should go away and leave me alone?' she thought.

Though I've tried to forget
You're all that I am
Take me home
I'm through fighting it

December 23

'Tell me, Heero? Why do you run away from me?'

Relena wrapped a blanket around her shoulders. She was sitting on her balcony, staring at the snow that landed on her lap. The same snow was soaking her hair. She didn't care, she actually felt relieved. Her hate for HIM had eased, till she was just angry.

'If you ask me to forgive you, I know I will. Just ask me... I live for you and I'll die for you. I lie down broken, my heart bleeding while my lonesome tears mark the snow.
You control all of me. When I think of you, my breath stops. When I feel for you, my heart aches.

'Intruding my mind, you always claim you're place in my thoughts. You are the pleasant face who haunts my sad dreams. Broken beyond repair; only to be fixed by one person. Come put me back together, Heero.'

"Relena."

"What?" She tried not to sound irritated.

"I know you didn't want to spend Christmas with me, but the senator gives an annual party. We both have to go." Her father glared at her.

"I can't go..." It didn't matter to her if he was glaring, she didn't give him a glance.

"You are coming like it or not!" He was getting angry- it could be heard in his voice.

"Why? For your good reputation? Isn't that why I always have to come with you, father?" Her voice still cold as ice, like she had practiced for months.

"How dare you! After all I've done for you, your mother would turn in her grave if she saw what you are doing! "

"You are scum, I could kill myself. Since such an unthankful child does not need a father!" she screamed, his words tearing old and delicate wounds open as he left her broken.

Those words really did hit her, he used them every time they had a fight. Relena never got used to it, it didn't hurt less either.

Tears streaked down her face. How? How did it get this far? Did her mother have to bear this pain as well? Like she couldn't breathe, someone pressing all the air out of her lungs. Her heart feeling heavy, her mind dizzy. Inside screaming, outside staggered. He had left her room telling her she WOULD come to the party.

'Why Heero? Why send me back to this? I would rather have died in your arms, then live here. There are much worse things then dead. Living with a bleeding heart is one of them.'

Broken
Lifeless
I give up
You're my only strength
Without you
I can't go on
Anymore

December 24 8:30 a.m.

"You should eat something, Miss Peacecraft; you have to look good and healthy for the party tonight." The maid tapped at the dinner-tray in front of Relena.

"No, thank you," she pushed it aside and rested her head on her hands. Her nose against the cold window made her shiver as she got up.

"Where are you going, Miss Peacecraft?" Noticeable was the surprised look on her old butler and loyal friend's face.

"I'm going to take a walk, Pagan." She grabbed her coat.

"I am glad you are leaving the house again, Miss Relena. You haven't left this mansion for about three weeks."

Relena cast a sad smile towards the old man and grabbed her long beige cloak.

The trees had dropped their leaves, clouds white snow. A silent scenery of white and gray disturbed only by the rustling of the wind through the cold and dead twigs.

Her small footprints in the snow looked like the only proof that there where still people on this huge domain. Following the small path down the hill, she reached her destination.
Under a tree covered in a white dress of snow was a small grave. The little red candle in the special chandelier fighting against the wind tossed a soft glow over the sad place.

"Oh mother, I wish you where here to help me." Relena sat on her knees, her hand resting against the cold marble.

The snow was soaking her long soft-pink skirt, but she couldn't care less. "You know, Mother? I know he'll come, tonight. I know he will, he has to."

A sweet smile crossed her face, "I'm sure he'll come to tell me he loves me."

Ever again
My only hope
My only peace
My only joy
My only strength
My only power
My only life
My only love

'Should I stay, should I go? Should I tell her I love her or let her go?'

Heero was sitting in her old room. He inhaled her scent, felt her presence but she just wasn't there. Wondering, should he call her or go to her. Or should he let go and let her live her life? The feeling that he wasn't worthy of her wouldn't disappear, and it wasn't because she was rich.

But because she was an angel and he, he was nothing. Never thought he could love someone, never thought he could feel for someone. But then she came and all his cold feelings seemed to melt away. He laughed at the thought; love really gets under your skin.

A hand was placed on his shoulder. "Should I go?"

"I don't know Heero, but I do know some guy once told me to live my life acting on my emotions."

I can't run anymore
I give myself to you
I'm sorry
I'm sorry
In all my bitterness
I ignored
All that's real and true
All I need is you

December 24 7:27pm

Almost time for her big entrance. She couldn't remember the reason she gave her dad for changing her mind and honestly she didn't care.
It was all for him. Heero...

"Miss Peacecraft, it's time." A young maid dressed up in a special neat black and white uniform tapped her shoulder.

"Coming!" Relena rose from her seat and stepped towards the stairs.

As they announced her name all guests glanced towards the stairs as she appeared. Breaths stopped, eyes grew wide, hearts pounded. For a few moments she seemed to be the only thing on earth.

Wearing a deep blue dress with diamonds on top, her hair was pinned in a knot on the back of her head. The graceful and calming look coming from her face could light up a country, her elegance and style... She looked like and angel...

Checking the faces, she was looking for Persian eyes. Feeling deeply disappointed when she couldn't who she was looking for.
As she reached the last step, some men came towards her asking her to dance. She declined them in a decent way and started searching through the huge hall.

When night falls on me
I'll not close my eyes
I'm too alive
And you're too strong
I can't lie anymore
I fall down before you
I'm sorry
I'm sorry

December 24 11:58 pm

She sighed as she sat down, tired. Resting from the numerous times she had to dance with those so called "important" politicians. Old married men who had nothing better to do then go to parties and sit on their lazy behinds.

They talked to her about financial things and politics. Like she was interested, the only thing she did was nod and answer yes or no.

'I believed in you Heero! Why?'

"Can I have this dance from you?" A man standing behind her asked.

Relena sighed; she took a deep breath and scraped her dignity together as she got up.
She slowly turned around to see who she would have to dance with this time.

Heero... just a moment she couldn't breath, just a moment tears started to fill her eyes. A lonely tear made its way down, and he kissed it away. A smile formed itself on her lips as she accepted his hand.

Everyone made way as the saw the couple approach. He laid one arm around her waist and with the other he held her hand, holding her close.

"I love you..."

"I love you too, Relena..."

My only hope
My only peace
My only joy
My only strength
My only power
My only life
My only love

"Relena, ever since the moment I laid my eyes on you. Somehow I just knew we where made for each other. The love you give me, the glow of hope surrounding you. Never will there be someone who can take your place. Standing here as I vow to you."

He slid the diamond ring over her finger.

I give you my love...
I give you my life...
I'll never leave you...