Disclaimer: A.S.P owns all the characters I'm using for this fiction.

Part 12

I remember I never felt so scared in my life, I prepared my self for the worst. For Rory's angry expression telling me to leave and never come back, for Rory's breaking from my touch and saying horrible things, God, what if she doesn't even wanna speak to me...

The ride to Rory's was short but my head and my brain were driving 300 miles an hour, I thought of all the bad scenarios that could likely happen.

I parked the car and I remember leaving the car open, I walked up the stairs and by the time I reached the door I didn't hear crying, or shouting. It was a good sign, maybe he didn't tell her, but I still had to face her.

Part of me wished he would tell her just so I wouldn't have to say the words. My God, I prepared for this moment so many times in my mind but now I can't even knock on the door.

Rory opened the door to see me standing there, shaking. I was obviously still upset from the heated argument I had with Luke just minutes before. She invited me in of course and I immediately searched for Luke. He wasn't there, a wave of relief washed over me as I sat down on the couch, not moving.

"Mom, is everything okay?" Rory asked me and sat close to me holding my cold hands. I was seeing a guy my daughter's age, what was I thinking? What am I a slut? I know that's what Luke thought of me and suddenly all those sweet moments and good times I shared with Jess the past 5 months seemed worthless. How am I going to tell her? And where the hell is Luke?

"Mom?" Rory took my coat off. "Mom, what's wrong?"

"Rory, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I'm ok."

"You don't look ok"

"Honey where is Luke?"

"He working, didn't come home yet"

'Oh sweet Luke' I thought to myself 'he knows me so well, he knew I was gonna get scared of Rory finding out like this and run to see her. So this is Luke, he knew that by telling Rory he would hurt both me and her. Sometimes when I think back and remember all the great things he did for me and my kid I thank god he brought him to our lives'.

"Mom..."

"Rory, I came here because I need to talk to you"

"What's wrong mom?"

"I want to tell you who I'm seeing"

"Tell, tell, this is great..."

"Rory, you have to promise me though that you'll keep an open mind about this and please don't judge me"

"Mom, come on, how bad could it be, it's not Kirk right? Cause I don't think I want him as a step father"

"Not Kirk..."

"So who is it?"

Luke walked in just when I was about to say the big 4 letter word.

"Hey honey" Rory said to her husband...

'Again with the honey... what is this Brady bunch?' I thought. Luke didn't look at me, gave his wife a kiss and said he's going to take a shower.

"Hey, didn't he look weird to you?"

"He always looks weird" I tried to force a smile which didn't go so well.

"So tell me, come on don't just sit there"

'Ok, what's to loose... she's my daughter, she'll have to forgive me eventually, right? The hell with it' "It's Jess, Rory"

"Jess?"

"Jess"

"What about Jess?"

"Rory, its Jess, the guy I'm seeing"

"Jess?"

"Yes"

"No, its not. You guys can't stand each other"

"It's Jess"

"But I've seen you fight a million times"

"It's nothing"

"Mom, come on, who is it really?"

"Rory, this is hard as it is, its Jess, I'm seeing Jess"

"Jess?"

"Yes"

"Jess Mariano?"

"Yes"

"Jess, the guy you hate, the guy you always call a punk?"

"Yes"

"How long as this been going on?"

"It started after your wedding"

"Obviously... he wasn't here before"

"Right"

"Mom, are you out of your mind?" she raised her voice.

"Rory, please"

"No. Mom, this is crazy, how could you do this?"

"Rory, sweetie calm down, please, I need you to understand.."

"What's to understand mom? You're having an affair with someone my age? This is crazy, not to mention unbelievably stupid"

"Rory, please calm down"

"Calm down? You expect me to calm down? What were you thinking...?"

"I don't know what I was thinking"

"So you're sleeping with Jess?"

"Rory, honey..." I tried to reach for her hand but she backed away from me.

"Don't touch me... how could you?"

"Rory?"

"What? Don't expect me to support this..."

"Why not?"

"Why not? I'll tell you why not... he's my age. You can not just date him... don't you think this is crazy? Do you really think this has a future? Did you expect me to hear this and say good for you mom, great, marry him and have kids...? This is too crazy even for you... and the worst thing is you let david go for Jess... Jess mom... someone you hated all those years, someone who's my age... this is a record of stupidity even for you..."

I didn't know what to say, the more I thought about it the more they made sense and I was the stupid dreamer, how come I didn't see it that way? How come I was blinded by lust? I don't know, I just know that once again Luke saved me.

"Rory. That's enough"

"Stay out of this luke"

"Come with me." He took Rory to the bedroom leaving me alone in the living room.

By the time he came back I was crying like a baby and was at the door. He reached for my hand and closed it "Don't leave yet." He said and took me in his arms "Shh, everything will be alright." We just stood there, him holding me, comforting me, just like always and me having another meltdown, I thought I was dying, Rory was never this upset with me. What am I going to do?

After I stopped crying he led me to the couch and went to get me a drink. Coffee, he made me coffee. So this must mean he's not angry with me anymore "Lorelai," he said sitting down, "are you ok now?"

"I don't know Luke, am I? My daughter hates me..."

"She doesn't hate you, she's in shock that's all"

"Like you were?"

"I'm sorry about earlier, some of the things I said were out of line and I apologize"

"But some of the things you said were true."

"Lorelai, you're upset, and now is not the time to make important decisions, why don't I take you home so you could rest?"

"You were right, this really has no future."

"Come on, let's go, it's been a long night."

"Luke, am I ever going to be happy?" I asked placing my hand on his chest, tears coming down again.

"Yes you will" he said holding me close again "You don't need a man to make you happy. You have Rory and Jane, and Sookie, and the inn, those are all good things..."

"I know" I said, still crying "but you know me, I need a man, I need someone to love me and take care of me, and hold me at night."

Luke broke from my touch and searched for my eyes "you are the greatest woman I've ever met, you know that don't you? And the things you did in this life are amazing considering the circumstances, and if anyone deserves to be happy its you, and I'm sure you will be. One day, when you least expect it, it will happen, and don't ask me how I know, I know because you my friend deserve it more then anyone I ever knew."

I started crying again, to the hear of those words "I said those things to calm you down not to make you cry harder..." he said and hugged me again "I'm sorry I told you to go to hell," I said.

"That's ok, I outlived it before and I'll outlive it again"

"Thank you Luke."

"Anytime"

"I'm gonna go now, you go see how your wife is doing"

"Don't you want me to take you home?"

"That's ok, I'll see you tomorrow"

"Ok"

"Bye Luke"

"Bye Lorelai"

'I'm tired' I thought to myself getting out of the car. 'It's been such a long day and things were really messed up with Rory. I don't know what I'm going to do now. I know I want to be with Jess but even I... the most unreasonable woman I know... even I know this has no future. Why didn't I see it coming? Why didn't I think before I let it become so serious? I don't know. And all those questions that end with the same I don't know just cut through my chest when I think of Rory and how she must be feeling right now.'

"Hey" I heard a voice say. I didn't look up, I knew who it was and my eyes were filled with tears that I couldn't let him see.

"I can't deal with you right now Jess. Go home," I said walking up the stairs.

"Did you tell her?"

"Goodnight Jess" I avoided meeting his eyes as I walked passed him

"Lorelai"

"What?" I turned to face him angry and frustrated as I was.

"Talk to me"

"I don't want to. Not tonight"

"Fine"

"Bye"

He left me standing on the porch. The tears never left though, they stayed, like they knew they weren't welcome but that's what happens when all the elements of the universe are against me.

I crawled into bed like a wounded animal, I was tired. I felt like my head is about to burst when I reached for the ringing phone and answered

"Hello"

"Are you ok?" asked a voice

"Yes"

"You don't sound ok"

"Probably because I'm not"

"I know"

"How are you?"

"I'm sorry"

"Don't be. I'm the one who's sorry... for lying to you all this time"

"I shouldn't have said all those things"

"It wasn't so bad trust me, your husband was worse then you"

"I know, he told me"

"I knew he would"

"Yeah. His sorry"

"I know, he apologized earlier"

"Good"

"So, what now?"

"Is he there?"

"No. I needed to be alone. Didn't think you would call me tonight... I was planning of having a really crappie night"

"Do you want me to come over and talk some more?"

"What, and leave mountain man alone with an innocent baby... no way"

"He's better then you think mom"

"Really?"

"Yes. He's been changing diapers and feeding her. He's great"

"I hope so"

"He really is"

"Is he listening now?"

"Are you crazy? If he was listening I was in a serious life danger"

"Yeah... I should've known"

"Mom?"

"What, sweetie?"

"Are you happy?"

"I don't know"

"I'll come by tomorrow and talk to you ok?"

"Ok, goodnight, and tell Luke I said thank you for everything"

"Ok. Night mom"

What now???

What do you think?

Hope you liked it...

Talin... you better post a review...

Special thanks to Chelsea. the girl with the coolest name in the world.