Elizabeth lay on her bed in her pyjamas. It was still early evening but she just wanted to crawl into bed and forget how awful she felt about all the hurtful things she'd said to Rodney and about how scared she had been when she'd heard how much they were suffering in the Puddle Jumper. She wanted to forget how helpless and lost she had felt when she had realised how close they were to losing their lives, and about how overwhelmed she was feeling about their time on Atlantis so far.
She knew that things would get easier in regards to being in charge. Deep down she knew that she could do it and she hoped that the inhabitants of Atlantis believed it also because she truly did have their best interests at heart. She also knew that they were likely to face even more terrifying situations than they had already. Situations which they'd all have to deal with, and like today she was sure that when it came down to it she'd be strong enough and capable enough to deal with them even if it did mean she came into conflict with others. They'd not been there for long yet and there was still so much to experience, but that exciting thought didn't stop her feeling a little unsettled and overwhelmed about things. As much as she was enjoying the experience she couldn't help but wonder what the future had in store.
She didn't feel as bad now about how she had been feeling because Rodney had made it obvious to her that she wasn't the only one feeling overwhelmed about things and questioning things. He was right when he'd said that it was okay to be scared because what they were a part of now truly was bigger then all of the people on Atlantis and so totally new. She only hoped that people had as much faith in her as he said that they did. She loved it on Atlantis and she loved the opportunity she'd been given to lead such an amazingly intelligent and talented group of people. She wouldn't give it up for the world. But nothing could ever stop her questioning things when people's lives were being threatened. Especially the lives of people she held dear.
Her thoughts turned to Rodney again. How could she have hurt him like that? He'd let down his guard to her that night to comfort her and she had repaid him by storming out on him. There was a whole other side to him that he'd shown to her that night. A gentle and caring side which only came out when he was around her or other people he held closest to his heart. It was a side that he was afraid to show too often because he was afraid that if he did show it he'd only get hurt, and so he used his sarcasm instead as a tool to keep people at arms length. There were a few people it didn't work with however and she was one of them. She'd seen through it the very moment she'd laid eyes on him and from the very first moment they had met a bond had formed between the pair. It was a bond she hoped would grow further and blossom and now she couldn't help but think she'd stopped any of that from happening.
Elizabeth buried her head in her pillow and willed sleep to come. She couldn't bear the guilt or the emotion that filled her for the near loss they had suffered that day. She couldn't sleep at all. Instead she just lay silently.
She must have lain there for a quarter of an hour before she realised that someone was knocking on the door to her quarters. She thought about not answering but it wouldn't be very reasonable for the leader of Atlantis to ignore somebody who might have something important to say.
She ran her fingers through her hair hoping she looked at least a little bit presentable and opened the door to see Rodney standing there with a tray in his arms.
She looked at him shocked and he stood there with his mouth wide open as she was wearing a satin vest top and pyjama bottoms and thought she'd never looked more beautiful.
"I did wonder whether to just leave this in front of the door for you but I thought the hot chocolate might get cold. Here." He told her handing her the tray, which had a mug of hot chocolate on it and an assortment of chocolate.
"Rodney I'm..." She started wanting to apologise so much.
"If you had stayed you would have realised that I was going to leave for a few minutes to get you these. I thought you might be hungry. I knew you hadn't eaten and I know that chocolate usually cheers me up so I was going to ask Beckett if I could have some of the little stash he thought I didn't know that he had. I didn't know what you liked so I brought a bit of everything." He told her not giving her a chance to apologise.
"Rodney..."
"Which you can see I did. So yeah. Goodnight." He told her sharply turning around to leave.
"Why did you do this?" She asked him quietly.
"Because I care." He replied quickly. "I hate seeing you upset. But you're obviously not feeling as warmly towards me this evening so I will bid you goodnight. You look lovely by the way." He added softly before starting to walk away.
"Rodney stop." She called after him.
He turned around.
"You have every right to be angry with me. I would be too and I'm sorry but...please don't go." She pleaded.
Rodney looked at her sadly but didn't move.
"Please don't make me do this in front of everybody." She pleaded. "I'm sorry."
Rodney sighed and ran a hand over his face. He was torn between walking away and going to her. Part of him was screaming, telling him to see if she was all right and to listen to her but she had hurt him at a time when he had opened himself up to her and another part of him told him just to walk away.
"Look I can't eat all of this by myself." She said softly. "I'd feel guilty." She told him smiling.
Rodney still stood pensively.
"You are so stubborn. Do you want me to beg? We need to talk Rodney. Come on...please?"
Rodney sighed unable to bear the guilt of making her plead like that. He walked back over to her and she motioned for him to come inside her quarters. For a moment he stood there apprehensively.
"People might talk." He told her quietly.
"Yeah well they've already seen and heard more than enough to keep them gossiping for a few weeks. Look I can't stand out here talking to you in my pyjamas." She told him making him smile.
"And I guess we can't have your drink getting cold."
Elizabeth smiled softly and Rodney followed her into her quarters. She sat down on her bed taking a sip of her drink and watched him study his surroundings.
"I like what you've done with the place." He told her trying to break the tension.
Elizabeth smiled.
"It's going to be a while before it really feels like home." She commented looking around the sparsely decorated room that had now become her quarters.
Rodney nodded in agreement.
"Look Rodney I am so sorry that I snapped at you like that and stormed out. What you wanted to do for me...what you have done for me tonight with this and listening to me...it's really sweet and thoughtful. I shouldn't have walked out on you like that." She told him softly.
" Okay I'm surprised. You just used the words sweet and thoughtful in a description of me. That's never happened before." He told her smiling.
"I kind of surprised myself with that." She told him grinning. "But really you have been. For all of your sarcasm and whinging there's a lovely man underneath all that and I pushed you away when I shouldn't have done."
"Why did you? I mean I know it's been a hard day. We felt pretty helpless there too remember. Why did you get so angry with me? I didn't think I was even being remotely annoying."
"You weren't. It was me...it was...never mind." She told him playing with the duvet.
"No I want to know because if it's something to do with the way I behave then I can do something about it. I don't offer that option to everybody you know." "It was me Rodney. For once it wasn't you." She told him and he smiled.
"But why?" He asked her curiously.
"Rodney I can't." She told him softly taking a bite of some of the chocolate, not able to meet his eye.
"Elizabeth you stormed out on me. That's not like you. Please tell me..."
Elizabeth sighed when she realised that this was something that he wasn't going to give up on.
"I was angry with myself okay?" She admitted to him quietly.
"Angry about what? You haven't done anything that you should be angry about." He told her sitting down next to her.
"I was angry because I doubted myself so much. I was angry because I was sitting in front of you crying when I'm supposed to be your leader. I was angry because you were going to leave me there. I was angry...for so many reasons."
"You were angry that I was going to leave you. Why?" He asked her almost afraid of the answer.
"Because I was upset. Because I thought that you thought me a bad and a weak leader. I thought that my being emotional was too much for you to handle and that was why you were going to leave me."
Rodney shuffled closer to her.
"I would never think that of you. Everyone needs to talk and to cry sometimes. Even you. Even me." He told her.
"I didn't want you to leave me because..." She started again wondering why she found it so hard to say what she wanted to when she was a trained diplomat.
"Because..." He prompted taking some of the chocolate himself.
"Never mind." She said softly wanting to tell him so much but not being able to think of the words or past the consequences for both of them if she did.
"Look I'm not trying to be mean or a pain in the ass but you asked me in here to talk. Please don't clam up on me now."
Elizabeth looked at him and saw the sincerity and concern in his eyes for her. She took in every detail of his concerned face, a face that so usually was filled with disdain. She could see that he truly cared about her enough to let his guard down and be what she needed that night, and she realised how unfair it was to keep everything bottled up the way she had been.
Elizabeth got off the bed and started to pace around the room.
"Today really has been hard on you hasn't it? He's going to be okay you know." Rodney told her sure her concern was about Shepphard.
"I know he is. I was so worried about him. When I saw that they were having problems bringing him back..."
"Yeah it was pretty scary." Rodney agreed. "There was a whole lot of fear on board that ship." He added shuddering at the memory.
"We could have lost you. All of you. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come back."
"You would have carried on. You would have done us proud. You would still be the gifted leader you are now." Rodney reassured her.
"I would have been lost. I came so close to losing you today." She told him unable to look at him.
"But you didn't." He replied quickly.
"But I could have. I know it could happen just like that. I know that. I'm not naive enough to think that we're going to be out here doing what we're doing and not have any casualties. The Wraith already want to kick our asses and who knows what else we'll come up against. I was afraid."
"So were we. If I had of been any more scared I woulda peed my pants." He joked.
"The thought of losing you..." Elizabeth started again.
"But we're okay..." Rodney replied trying to reassure her but exasperating her a little.
"Rodney. Listen to me. I was afraid of losing all of you but on some level I was absolutely terrified of losing you. That's why I didn't want you to leave me. Because the thought of losing you terrifies me and I spent 38 minutes today on the brink of that happening. I heard you panic. I heard Shepphard scream. I wanted to help but I couldn't and that's part of the reason why I've been upset because I feel so terrible about what nearly happened today. Not just about confrontations I had with people and about doubting myself but because I could have lost so much. I feel so terrible because I nearly lost you. And then when you were going to walk out I thought that you'd given up on me and I don't want you to do that."
"Hey shush. It's okay." He told her walking over to where she stood shaking a little and putting his hands on her shoulders. "I wouldn't do that."
"I shouldn't care this much Rodney don't you understand? I have Simon back home. I have so many people under my leadership and here I am crying because I nearly lost you. Six people could have died today."
"Hey thanks. It's nice to know that you feel awful for caring about me." He told her a little hurt. "You have to understand Rodney. I'm with somebody back home and I feel so guilty. And I feel guilty because I should care for everybody equally. I should care for all of your lives equally."
"You do care for all of our lives. Every word that you said today showed concern for us all. And it's okay. I do understand. When I was trying to figure out what to do on the jumper one of the things I kept thinking was that I might never be able to see you again." He admitted. "You know you're actually one of a few people that can actually get me to calm down when I go off on a rant? But you're our leader and you have someone back on Earth so I do understand. I understand completely. I wouldn't jeopardise your happiness. You have to know that."
"I don't know what to do." She admitted sounding completely lost. "We don't know if we can go home and I left him videotape...I didn't even tell him in person that I was leaving. I'm not even sure that I have someone to go back to. I didn't expect this to happen. I expected to care about the people I work with. Of course I did and I do. But when someone close to you nearly dies the prospect of losing him or her.... It makes you realise what a hole might be left behind if they go."
"Elizabeth I'm here. I'm safe. You need to stop thinking about what could have happened. I care about you so much..." he reassured her. "But I know that you have Simon. I know that this is complicated. I don't expect us to do any more than we do now. Or to become any more than we are now. I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize what you have with him or what you feel for him. I have too much respect for you to do that."
Elizabeth smiled and turned to face him. She put a hand on his cheek tenderly.
"Underneath it all you're a good man Rodney McKay." She told him rubbing her thumb against his cheek and marvelling at how soft it felt.
"Yeah well don't go telling anybody okay? I have a reputation to keep." He replied cheekily.
"It's a deal." She told him.
"I would never have abandoned you when you were upset like that. I promise you that I was going to come back. Today could have been the last day that I'd ever see you and I realised that...I...I just wouldn't have left you there." He told her losing the nerve to say all that he wanted to say but hoping she'd understand.
Elizabeth put a finger over his lips.
"I know." She replied. "And I'm sorry that I was so sarcastic to you when I was on the jumper...I was really panicking. It wasn't personal. Just ask Shepphard, Teyla and Ford, they got the brunt of it too. To be honest just hearing your voice was a comfort. If I had died today I'm glad that your voice would have been one of the last things that I heard." He admitted.
A single tear rolled down her cheek as she heard his kind words and saw him blush.
"I'm glad that I could mean that much." She told him, her voice breaking with the emotion that she felt.
Rodney put his hand over her own.
"I'll always be there for you Elizabeth. I want you to know that you can come to me any time if you need to talk...anything. I won't expect any more from you than what we have now. I'll just be there when you need me. Whenever you need me. As long as you know that you have my care and respect that's all that matters to me." He told her softly and sincerely.
Elizabeth looked at him and realised for the first time just how beautiful his eyes were and how full they were of care and concern for her.
"And I know that I'm not Shepphard. I know that I don't have the way with people or the charm that he has but I promise you I'll do my best...I.."
A soft pair of lips touching his own interrupted Rodney. It was the most gentle and loving kiss he'd ever experienced and one of the most unexpected.
"You do realise that you just kissed me?" He asked her a little stunned after she pulled away from him.
Elizabeth smiled at his reaction and nodded.
"I just wanted to see what I was missing." She replied softly.
Rodney cupped her cheeks in his hands and softly ran his thumbs in a circular pattern on her cheeks. Slowly he leant in and captured her lips with his own and it was as if a lightning bolt shot between the both of them as the kiss deepened.
He pulled away slowly, her face still cupped in his hands and waited to be slapped or shouted at. Elizabeth instead smiled and put her hands over his own, entwining her fingers with his and putting their hands on her lap. For a man who appeared so brash and loud he was certainly one of the most gentle and tender people that she had met.
"I have some choices to make." She whispered resting her forehead against his and sighing a little sadly.
"Take your time okay? I don't want you to make the wrong one and then to be unhappy." He said squeezing her hands.
Elizabeth kissed him on the forehead softly.
"Thank you." She told him gratefully.
"You should bear in mind that I'm sarcastic, hard work, a bit of a hypochondriac and have a superiority complex." He told her grinning.
"Rodney trust me. I know." She replied smiling. "But that's not all there is to you and we both know that. You need to learn to trust people more."
"I trust you."
Elizabeth smiled touched.
"But yeah. I know. I'm working on it." He assured her.
"Good."
"I should let you get some rest." He said when she yawned. "It's been a long and hard day. I'm about ready to fall asleep on my feet."
Elizabeth nodded, watching as he walked to the door.
Before he left he turned around.
"I meant it when I said for you to take your time. I'll still be here. Sweet dreams Elizabeth."
"Sweet dreams. I'm glad you found your way to Atlantis Rodney." She told him as he opened the door and stepped out of her quarters.
"I am too." He replied honestly, quietly closing the door behind him, wondering what new doors would be opened for all of them because of their time on Atlantis and hoping that angels would grant her a peaceful sleep and keep her safe until the morning.
She knew that things would get easier in regards to being in charge. Deep down she knew that she could do it and she hoped that the inhabitants of Atlantis believed it also because she truly did have their best interests at heart. She also knew that they were likely to face even more terrifying situations than they had already. Situations which they'd all have to deal with, and like today she was sure that when it came down to it she'd be strong enough and capable enough to deal with them even if it did mean she came into conflict with others. They'd not been there for long yet and there was still so much to experience, but that exciting thought didn't stop her feeling a little unsettled and overwhelmed about things. As much as she was enjoying the experience she couldn't help but wonder what the future had in store.
She didn't feel as bad now about how she had been feeling because Rodney had made it obvious to her that she wasn't the only one feeling overwhelmed about things and questioning things. He was right when he'd said that it was okay to be scared because what they were a part of now truly was bigger then all of the people on Atlantis and so totally new. She only hoped that people had as much faith in her as he said that they did. She loved it on Atlantis and she loved the opportunity she'd been given to lead such an amazingly intelligent and talented group of people. She wouldn't give it up for the world. But nothing could ever stop her questioning things when people's lives were being threatened. Especially the lives of people she held dear.
Her thoughts turned to Rodney again. How could she have hurt him like that? He'd let down his guard to her that night to comfort her and she had repaid him by storming out on him. There was a whole other side to him that he'd shown to her that night. A gentle and caring side which only came out when he was around her or other people he held closest to his heart. It was a side that he was afraid to show too often because he was afraid that if he did show it he'd only get hurt, and so he used his sarcasm instead as a tool to keep people at arms length. There were a few people it didn't work with however and she was one of them. She'd seen through it the very moment she'd laid eyes on him and from the very first moment they had met a bond had formed between the pair. It was a bond she hoped would grow further and blossom and now she couldn't help but think she'd stopped any of that from happening.
Elizabeth buried her head in her pillow and willed sleep to come. She couldn't bear the guilt or the emotion that filled her for the near loss they had suffered that day. She couldn't sleep at all. Instead she just lay silently.
She must have lain there for a quarter of an hour before she realised that someone was knocking on the door to her quarters. She thought about not answering but it wouldn't be very reasonable for the leader of Atlantis to ignore somebody who might have something important to say.
She ran her fingers through her hair hoping she looked at least a little bit presentable and opened the door to see Rodney standing there with a tray in his arms.
She looked at him shocked and he stood there with his mouth wide open as she was wearing a satin vest top and pyjama bottoms and thought she'd never looked more beautiful.
"I did wonder whether to just leave this in front of the door for you but I thought the hot chocolate might get cold. Here." He told her handing her the tray, which had a mug of hot chocolate on it and an assortment of chocolate.
"Rodney I'm..." She started wanting to apologise so much.
"If you had stayed you would have realised that I was going to leave for a few minutes to get you these. I thought you might be hungry. I knew you hadn't eaten and I know that chocolate usually cheers me up so I was going to ask Beckett if I could have some of the little stash he thought I didn't know that he had. I didn't know what you liked so I brought a bit of everything." He told her not giving her a chance to apologise.
"Rodney..."
"Which you can see I did. So yeah. Goodnight." He told her sharply turning around to leave.
"Why did you do this?" She asked him quietly.
"Because I care." He replied quickly. "I hate seeing you upset. But you're obviously not feeling as warmly towards me this evening so I will bid you goodnight. You look lovely by the way." He added softly before starting to walk away.
"Rodney stop." She called after him.
He turned around.
"You have every right to be angry with me. I would be too and I'm sorry but...please don't go." She pleaded.
Rodney looked at her sadly but didn't move.
"Please don't make me do this in front of everybody." She pleaded. "I'm sorry."
Rodney sighed and ran a hand over his face. He was torn between walking away and going to her. Part of him was screaming, telling him to see if she was all right and to listen to her but she had hurt him at a time when he had opened himself up to her and another part of him told him just to walk away.
"Look I can't eat all of this by myself." She said softly. "I'd feel guilty." She told him smiling.
Rodney still stood pensively.
"You are so stubborn. Do you want me to beg? We need to talk Rodney. Come on...please?"
Rodney sighed unable to bear the guilt of making her plead like that. He walked back over to her and she motioned for him to come inside her quarters. For a moment he stood there apprehensively.
"People might talk." He told her quietly.
"Yeah well they've already seen and heard more than enough to keep them gossiping for a few weeks. Look I can't stand out here talking to you in my pyjamas." She told him making him smile.
"And I guess we can't have your drink getting cold."
Elizabeth smiled softly and Rodney followed her into her quarters. She sat down on her bed taking a sip of her drink and watched him study his surroundings.
"I like what you've done with the place." He told her trying to break the tension.
Elizabeth smiled.
"It's going to be a while before it really feels like home." She commented looking around the sparsely decorated room that had now become her quarters.
Rodney nodded in agreement.
"Look Rodney I am so sorry that I snapped at you like that and stormed out. What you wanted to do for me...what you have done for me tonight with this and listening to me...it's really sweet and thoughtful. I shouldn't have walked out on you like that." She told him softly.
" Okay I'm surprised. You just used the words sweet and thoughtful in a description of me. That's never happened before." He told her smiling.
"I kind of surprised myself with that." She told him grinning. "But really you have been. For all of your sarcasm and whinging there's a lovely man underneath all that and I pushed you away when I shouldn't have done."
"Why did you? I mean I know it's been a hard day. We felt pretty helpless there too remember. Why did you get so angry with me? I didn't think I was even being remotely annoying."
"You weren't. It was me...it was...never mind." She told him playing with the duvet.
"No I want to know because if it's something to do with the way I behave then I can do something about it. I don't offer that option to everybody you know." "It was me Rodney. For once it wasn't you." She told him and he smiled.
"But why?" He asked her curiously.
"Rodney I can't." She told him softly taking a bite of some of the chocolate, not able to meet his eye.
"Elizabeth you stormed out on me. That's not like you. Please tell me..."
Elizabeth sighed when she realised that this was something that he wasn't going to give up on.
"I was angry with myself okay?" She admitted to him quietly.
"Angry about what? You haven't done anything that you should be angry about." He told her sitting down next to her.
"I was angry because I doubted myself so much. I was angry because I was sitting in front of you crying when I'm supposed to be your leader. I was angry because you were going to leave me there. I was angry...for so many reasons."
"You were angry that I was going to leave you. Why?" He asked her almost afraid of the answer.
"Because I was upset. Because I thought that you thought me a bad and a weak leader. I thought that my being emotional was too much for you to handle and that was why you were going to leave me."
Rodney shuffled closer to her.
"I would never think that of you. Everyone needs to talk and to cry sometimes. Even you. Even me." He told her.
"I didn't want you to leave me because..." She started again wondering why she found it so hard to say what she wanted to when she was a trained diplomat.
"Because..." He prompted taking some of the chocolate himself.
"Never mind." She said softly wanting to tell him so much but not being able to think of the words or past the consequences for both of them if she did.
"Look I'm not trying to be mean or a pain in the ass but you asked me in here to talk. Please don't clam up on me now."
Elizabeth looked at him and saw the sincerity and concern in his eyes for her. She took in every detail of his concerned face, a face that so usually was filled with disdain. She could see that he truly cared about her enough to let his guard down and be what she needed that night, and she realised how unfair it was to keep everything bottled up the way she had been.
Elizabeth got off the bed and started to pace around the room.
"Today really has been hard on you hasn't it? He's going to be okay you know." Rodney told her sure her concern was about Shepphard.
"I know he is. I was so worried about him. When I saw that they were having problems bringing him back..."
"Yeah it was pretty scary." Rodney agreed. "There was a whole lot of fear on board that ship." He added shuddering at the memory.
"We could have lost you. All of you. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't come back."
"You would have carried on. You would have done us proud. You would still be the gifted leader you are now." Rodney reassured her.
"I would have been lost. I came so close to losing you today." She told him unable to look at him.
"But you didn't." He replied quickly.
"But I could have. I know it could happen just like that. I know that. I'm not naive enough to think that we're going to be out here doing what we're doing and not have any casualties. The Wraith already want to kick our asses and who knows what else we'll come up against. I was afraid."
"So were we. If I had of been any more scared I woulda peed my pants." He joked.
"The thought of losing you..." Elizabeth started again.
"But we're okay..." Rodney replied trying to reassure her but exasperating her a little.
"Rodney. Listen to me. I was afraid of losing all of you but on some level I was absolutely terrified of losing you. That's why I didn't want you to leave me. Because the thought of losing you terrifies me and I spent 38 minutes today on the brink of that happening. I heard you panic. I heard Shepphard scream. I wanted to help but I couldn't and that's part of the reason why I've been upset because I feel so terrible about what nearly happened today. Not just about confrontations I had with people and about doubting myself but because I could have lost so much. I feel so terrible because I nearly lost you. And then when you were going to walk out I thought that you'd given up on me and I don't want you to do that."
"Hey shush. It's okay." He told her walking over to where she stood shaking a little and putting his hands on her shoulders. "I wouldn't do that."
"I shouldn't care this much Rodney don't you understand? I have Simon back home. I have so many people under my leadership and here I am crying because I nearly lost you. Six people could have died today."
"Hey thanks. It's nice to know that you feel awful for caring about me." He told her a little hurt. "You have to understand Rodney. I'm with somebody back home and I feel so guilty. And I feel guilty because I should care for everybody equally. I should care for all of your lives equally."
"You do care for all of our lives. Every word that you said today showed concern for us all. And it's okay. I do understand. When I was trying to figure out what to do on the jumper one of the things I kept thinking was that I might never be able to see you again." He admitted. "You know you're actually one of a few people that can actually get me to calm down when I go off on a rant? But you're our leader and you have someone back on Earth so I do understand. I understand completely. I wouldn't jeopardise your happiness. You have to know that."
"I don't know what to do." She admitted sounding completely lost. "We don't know if we can go home and I left him videotape...I didn't even tell him in person that I was leaving. I'm not even sure that I have someone to go back to. I didn't expect this to happen. I expected to care about the people I work with. Of course I did and I do. But when someone close to you nearly dies the prospect of losing him or her.... It makes you realise what a hole might be left behind if they go."
"Elizabeth I'm here. I'm safe. You need to stop thinking about what could have happened. I care about you so much..." he reassured her. "But I know that you have Simon. I know that this is complicated. I don't expect us to do any more than we do now. Or to become any more than we are now. I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize what you have with him or what you feel for him. I have too much respect for you to do that."
Elizabeth smiled and turned to face him. She put a hand on his cheek tenderly.
"Underneath it all you're a good man Rodney McKay." She told him rubbing her thumb against his cheek and marvelling at how soft it felt.
"Yeah well don't go telling anybody okay? I have a reputation to keep." He replied cheekily.
"It's a deal." She told him.
"I would never have abandoned you when you were upset like that. I promise you that I was going to come back. Today could have been the last day that I'd ever see you and I realised that...I...I just wouldn't have left you there." He told her losing the nerve to say all that he wanted to say but hoping she'd understand.
Elizabeth put a finger over his lips.
"I know." She replied. "And I'm sorry that I was so sarcastic to you when I was on the jumper...I was really panicking. It wasn't personal. Just ask Shepphard, Teyla and Ford, they got the brunt of it too. To be honest just hearing your voice was a comfort. If I had died today I'm glad that your voice would have been one of the last things that I heard." He admitted.
A single tear rolled down her cheek as she heard his kind words and saw him blush.
"I'm glad that I could mean that much." She told him, her voice breaking with the emotion that she felt.
Rodney put his hand over her own.
"I'll always be there for you Elizabeth. I want you to know that you can come to me any time if you need to talk...anything. I won't expect any more from you than what we have now. I'll just be there when you need me. Whenever you need me. As long as you know that you have my care and respect that's all that matters to me." He told her softly and sincerely.
Elizabeth looked at him and realised for the first time just how beautiful his eyes were and how full they were of care and concern for her.
"And I know that I'm not Shepphard. I know that I don't have the way with people or the charm that he has but I promise you I'll do my best...I.."
A soft pair of lips touching his own interrupted Rodney. It was the most gentle and loving kiss he'd ever experienced and one of the most unexpected.
"You do realise that you just kissed me?" He asked her a little stunned after she pulled away from him.
Elizabeth smiled at his reaction and nodded.
"I just wanted to see what I was missing." She replied softly.
Rodney cupped her cheeks in his hands and softly ran his thumbs in a circular pattern on her cheeks. Slowly he leant in and captured her lips with his own and it was as if a lightning bolt shot between the both of them as the kiss deepened.
He pulled away slowly, her face still cupped in his hands and waited to be slapped or shouted at. Elizabeth instead smiled and put her hands over his own, entwining her fingers with his and putting their hands on her lap. For a man who appeared so brash and loud he was certainly one of the most gentle and tender people that she had met.
"I have some choices to make." She whispered resting her forehead against his and sighing a little sadly.
"Take your time okay? I don't want you to make the wrong one and then to be unhappy." He said squeezing her hands.
Elizabeth kissed him on the forehead softly.
"Thank you." She told him gratefully.
"You should bear in mind that I'm sarcastic, hard work, a bit of a hypochondriac and have a superiority complex." He told her grinning.
"Rodney trust me. I know." She replied smiling. "But that's not all there is to you and we both know that. You need to learn to trust people more."
"I trust you."
Elizabeth smiled touched.
"But yeah. I know. I'm working on it." He assured her.
"Good."
"I should let you get some rest." He said when she yawned. "It's been a long and hard day. I'm about ready to fall asleep on my feet."
Elizabeth nodded, watching as he walked to the door.
Before he left he turned around.
"I meant it when I said for you to take your time. I'll still be here. Sweet dreams Elizabeth."
"Sweet dreams. I'm glad you found your way to Atlantis Rodney." She told him as he opened the door and stepped out of her quarters.
"I am too." He replied honestly, quietly closing the door behind him, wondering what new doors would be opened for all of them because of their time on Atlantis and hoping that angels would grant her a peaceful sleep and keep her safe until the morning.