Chapter 17: My Immortal
Elizabeth and Jason walked hand in hand for what seemed like hours. Snow slowly falling on them as they made their way through the woods and streets of Port Charles. An hour went by and neither spoke a word. There was so much that needed to be said, but at the same time nothing was as important as having each other to hold on to.
Jason stood abruptly and let go of Elizabeth's left hand. They both felt the lost as soon as the contact broke. Elizabeth looked up and saw him taking a set of keys from his pocket. She took a moment to really observe her surroundings and was taken back when she saw the big sign in bold red letters: "The Wind: Motorcycle Shop". Tears pulled at her eyes but she blinked them away. When he spoke she looked him in the eyes. He could see the unshed tears, but he wasn't sure why they were there. The fear he felt disappeared after a minute when the most beautiful smile took over her luscious red lips.
"Come inside. You must be freezing." He told her.
"Whatever cold I was feeling vanished a minute ago." Was her only answer.
They hold their gaze in each other for a moment and then she walked inside. The place was almost an exact replica of his first bike shop, but this one was much bigger. Jason moved around, he turned on the lights and the heater. Then he came up behind her and said...
"You should take off that coat. It's wet, you don't want to catch a cold."
He helped her take of the coat and hung it over a railing to dry. Then he disappeared into a room. When he came back he was holding a blanket. He walked closer to her and put the blanket around her shoulders.
"Here. That should be much better."
They were close, so close she could feel his warm breath on her face. He sighed and stepped away. He had brought her here so they could talk. And if he kept getting that close he would never be able to utter a single word. His mouth would only open to kiss her lips. And he wasn't sure that she still wanted a kiss from him. There was too much hurt and misunderstandings that needed to be cleared first.
Elizabeth walked to a table were a collection of cd's were spread out. She started to look through the collection and found a couple she owned herself. Jason observed her quietly as she inspected the cd's. He saw her pick up a couple and set them aside. Then she found one and let out a soft giggle. She turned to meet his amuse glare and she waved a Britney Spears cd at him.
"Britney Spears? Never peg you as a bubble gum pop kinda guy." She said with a teasing smile.
"Those are not mine. Calvin must've left them there."
"Calvin?" She said lifting an interrogative brow.
"Calvin, my employee."
She dropped the case and took the two cd's and walked toward him. "So this is yours. All of it." She said signaling around the garage.
"Yes."
"Do you like it?"
"It resembles the first one, but this one is more... I don't know, this one seems more you. It suits you."
"That's good or bad?"
"Good."
"Good." He repeated with a smile. "Come. I want to change this." He said touching his shirt. It was soaked and it clung to his broad shoulders. He turned and started to walk up the stairs.
Elizabeth watched him at first and heaved a long breath. Jason Morgan was the sexiest man alive. And she was following him upstairs. She shook her head and followed him. This wasn't the moment to have lustful thoughts. Bad Elizabeth, bad.
~ Upstairs~
Elizabeth reached the landing to find a very shirtless Jason Morgan. She had forgotten what a nice chest he had. Bad Elizabeth, bad. She looked away as she blush at her thoughts. Jason finished putting on a dry long sleeve shirt and turned to found a very pink Elizabeth Webber looking everywhere but at him. He smiled.
"Did you like what you saw?"
"I wasn't looking." She said startled.
He let out a laugh. "I was talking about the loft. It's not big, but it's comfortable. The bathroom is over there. It's not too big. And there's a small kitchen in there."
Elizabeth examined the place carefully. A dark blue comforter covered the bed and it contrasted with the curtains. A small entertainment center was lining over the railing and was positioned in front of the bed. The bureau and the armoire where red oak and the walls were a deep brown color. The night stands were also red oak. Each one had a lamp and a couple of books over them. She guessed they were travel books. The place was sober and clean. Not a bit of clutter or unnecessary adorning. It reminded her of his room at Jake's. It suited him.
"I had to take control over my life after everything that happened last year. I was lost until you rescued me at Jake's. I'm here thanks to you."
His words caught her by surprise. He was standing at the other side of the room and the darkness had taken over his gaze again. She didn't spoke. Something told her this was just the beginning he was going to tell her whatever it was that was hunting him.
Sensing she wasn't going to speak he continued. "I never used to think about the past and what if's until you walked out. Every time I saw you I was reminded of what I could never have, so I decided to moved on."
She sat down on the bed silently. He had moved on. She already knew that fact, hell she saw him do it. But it still hurt to hear him say the words. She swallowed and looked away. He saw the hurt in her eyes and cursed himself. He didn't want to hurt her, but he had to say everything he had been holding inside for so long. "I never planned to move on with her. We started out as friends, but then I began to care about her. She reminded me of Carly. She was loyal and a take action kind of girl. She didn't depended on her brother or her husband. She looked out for those she loved and took on the world all alone. But when the stalker thing came up, I could see she wasn't as tough as she seemed. She acted like she wasn't scared, when I could see in her eyes that she really was."
She looked at him talk about his wife and he seemed far away. When he turned he found her eyes. "She reminded me of you too." Elizabeth's eyes widen in surprise and disbelieve.
"She used to put on an act, a front. But I could see pass that and into her real feelings, she was scared and she needed me then. I needed to keep my mind occupied, so I couldn't think about you, about how much I was hurting. I didn't have a chance to ever get back what I really wanted and I cared about her, so when she offered more than a friendship I took it."
Jason was having a hard time holding back tears. When he spoke next his voice broke. "I-I was selfish. She was in love with me, and after getting to know her better my feelings changed too. She was so kind and innocent. I should've walked away. But I didn't. I had done the wrong thing twice. First I had taken Robin into my world when she didn't want to be in it, so she left. And then I tried to keep you away. I tried to keep you safe at all cost and the price was too high. I lost you. So I put it all in the line for her. So she could be happy. I-I never knew it would end like that."
Elizabeth saw a tear slowly travel down Jason's cheeks until it dropped in his shirt. "Jason."
She said his name in a whisper. He looked at her and sat on the edge of the bed by her side. "I went against Sonny. I almost lost everything I had so she could know how much I have grown to love her. Sonny came around and when she said she was alright with my way of life I went back to doing my job. After her divorce, she moved in with me. I was content. At the time I thought I had everything I wanted. We went through a lot of things together and she was always there. She stood by me time and time again. Every time I got arrested, whenever there was a hit... she was always there."
Elizabeth closed her eyes. He hadn't said the words but she heard them anyway. "She stood by me, something you didn't do."
Jason breathed in and out and went on. "I wasn't there when she needed me, though. She lost our child and I couldn't feel the lost with her. I didn't know how to grief for something, someone I never knew existed. When she got hooked with the painkillers I didn't even notice at first. And when she needed me the most, I failed miserably. I told her to go back to the penthouse, but she didn't listened to me. "
Elizabeth frowned at his last words. What was he talking about? The words came out desperately. She moved her hand on top of his to give him some comfort. He looked at her again tears in his eyes. "I didn't see the guns pointed at her. I got distracted and then she was gone."
Elizabeth couldn't help the gasp of surprise that left her mouth. Courtney was dead. Everything that happened during the time she saw him months ago flashed through her mind, Carly's words at the docks two weeks ago, everything made sense now. He had lost everything he had. She tighten her grip on his hand and suddenly he made a move and leaned into her. She moved her arms over his shoulders and held him in her arms. He cried on her shoulder.
After a long time his sobs were controlled and he eased back from her arms. He moved his hands to dry his tears, but hers were already there. Her small and soft fingers dried his face and caressed his cheeks. Her eyes were sad, she was sad. She was sad that his life had turned out like that, if there was someone in the world that deserved to be happy that was Jason Morgan.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break down. I guess I had the tears build up inside. Tomorrow is going to be a year since she... since she passed."
Tomorrow. God, she died the same day she had left Port Charles. Had she known she would've... no she couldn't go there. Not now.
"Sonny said it was my fault and he yelled a lot. He made arrangements to dissolve every financial partnership we had and he left Port Charles with his family."
Elizabeth frowned again. She thought Sonny would've been a little more compassionate than that. After all Jason had signed up his life to him a long time ago. Jason's voice broke her thoughts. "He was right. It was my fault. If we hadn't been married Faith might never have come after her."
She spoke then, her voice filled with outrage. "Are you sure about that? Because, Faith Roscoe was a viper, a mercenary that didn't care about anything or anyone. If Courtney hadn't been with you, she was still a way to get to Sonny. Sonny was wrong, and he was a hypocrite. He always babbled about loyalty and honor and at his first chance to prove his loyalty to you, what does he do? He kicks you to the curb? He had no right to blame you for something you didn't have power over. You shouldn't have gone trough that alone."
"M-Monica and Emily tried to find me after it happened but all I wanted was to disappear. I stayed in Port Charles, I didn't want anything from Sonny. So I never touched any of the accounts. I had a lot of cash so I used that. I made my way from bar, to bar and I slept wherever slumber caught me. I wanted to be numb and the only way I knew how, was drinking myself to oblivion and fighting."
"That was how I found you." Elizabeth was looking down and felt him get up from the bed and kneel in front of her.
"My guardian angel." His words were soft and his hand cupped her chin. "If you hadn't found me I don't know where I'd be right now."
"I didn't do anything."
"Yes you did. Without knowing it, you helped me see the light. She was gone, but I was still alive. I had to let her go." He stood up and looked at her again. "I still feel her sometimes. Some girl laughs and for a second I think she's gonna come around the corner and smile at me like she used to."
Elizabeth saw the cd's she had brought up from the garage and stood up with one of them. She walked over to the stereo and put the cd in the carrousel. She took his hand. "Listen to this song. But really listen, maybe it will help ease the pain. You can concentrate on the good times you spend together. Someone once told me that things happen fast but you have to live through them slow. It hurts a lot but believe me, slowly the pain goes away."
The song started playing and Jason closed his eyes and tried to listen to the words.
~*~I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone ~*~
Jason stood up and walked to the window. The snow was still falling, everything was covered in white. He closed his eyes and saw Courtney laying on his arms. Snow falling around them and then he heard her words again. "Jason, I love you I always have and I'll always will." Tears fell once again down his face. He opened his eyes and saw the snow again.
~*~These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase~*~
Then another voice filled his thoughts...
"Do you know what nothing feels like?"
"Yeah. That's pretty much where I live."
He wasn't expecting her... but for some reason there she was. His mind started to run through everything they have lived together. From saving his life on the snow to a bittersweet goodbye.
"I'm trying to paint the wind."
"Dance with me?" "Jason. Come on, get up."
"Oh come, oh ye faithful, joyous and triumphant..."
"The best bargain of the year!"
"When I said by myself, I meant by myself with you."
~*~When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me~*~
He was bombarded by the images and the feelings one after the other and he couldn't do anything to stop them.
"You really matter to me. We're clear on that, right? You helped me discover the wind."
"I shouldn't be doing this... any of it. Letting you hold me being glad you're here. Wanting more than anything to get on the back of your motorcycle and ride on theat cliff road so fast the wind is just rushing and the road is a blur..."
"I want more than a friendship too."
Jason opened his eyes and looked up to find Elizabeth sitting on the edge of the bed. She was looking at him, concern shining in her eyes. "Would you dance with me?"
Elizabeth was surprised by his request but she simply nodded. She stood up and walked to him as he extended his arms to her.
~*~You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me~*~
"You've always being honest with me... I don't want to lose that, I don't want to lose you. So that's my decision. I want you in my life."
"You know, the whole time you were gone, whenever I'd hear a motorcycle, there was this split second where I'd think it was you. So I guess the real answer is.... I've been waiting since you left."
"Having a connection with you, I know it was selfish, but it was something I never stopped wanting."
"...I held on as long as I did because of you... My faith in you was unshakable and justified."
~*~These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase~*~
"If this is goodbye, why does it feel so wrong?"
"...Just for tonight, just for this moment I don't want to be safe."
~*~When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me~*~
"You're not running away to protect me. You're doing it to protect yourself."
"Don't you get it yet! Is not OK for you to just drop out of my life. I would miss you too much. The way you just let me be who I want to be, the way you listen, the way you care like no one ever has before."
"You are who I want to be with. There I said it. Do you believe me? Do you feel the same way or are you going to pull away again?"
"If I had decided not to go for a walk that morning or even stop for a cup of coffee first, you'd probably be dead. I would've never spend that Christmas with you, or gotten a piece of red glass or my post card from Italy. Those things changed me. They made my life after you different from my life before."
"Are you going to miss me when I go?"
"You listened when no one else could hear me. You trusted me to life my own life, when I didn't even trust in myself. You make me happy, you make me feel free."
~*~I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along~*~
"No. Sorry. I'm here and I'm in it and I count. You know what the ironic thing is? Is that you actually did tell me the truth, I just didn't want to hear it. When you kept pushing me away and you warned about who you really are, I should have listened instead of making you up in my head. But you are Sonny's ... Sonny's enforcer first last and always. I hope is enough."
The words that changed his life forever echoed in his head. They had burned a whole in his heart that could never be filled again... not by anyone else but her.
"If I were still hung up on that I wouldn't be here. And I sure as hell wouldn't have being worried about you for the last five months. I certainly wouldn't be losing sleep over how cold an empty your eyes look. Just now, I would have being thinking about how messed up my life is and trying to do something about it, but instead I've being wondering what happened to you and how to help you."
~*~When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me~*~
The music stopped and he opened his eyes. He had his head buried in her neck and she was cradling him in her arms, one of her hands was playing with his hair and the other one was around his waist. They had stopped dancing after a while and he wasn't crying anymore. He stood up and looked at her again. He inhaled, and the realization hit him. He was falling in love with Elizabeth Webber, all over again.
*** Evanecence- My Immortal ***
Elizabeth and Jason walked hand in hand for what seemed like hours. Snow slowly falling on them as they made their way through the woods and streets of Port Charles. An hour went by and neither spoke a word. There was so much that needed to be said, but at the same time nothing was as important as having each other to hold on to.
Jason stood abruptly and let go of Elizabeth's left hand. They both felt the lost as soon as the contact broke. Elizabeth looked up and saw him taking a set of keys from his pocket. She took a moment to really observe her surroundings and was taken back when she saw the big sign in bold red letters: "The Wind: Motorcycle Shop". Tears pulled at her eyes but she blinked them away. When he spoke she looked him in the eyes. He could see the unshed tears, but he wasn't sure why they were there. The fear he felt disappeared after a minute when the most beautiful smile took over her luscious red lips.
"Come inside. You must be freezing." He told her.
"Whatever cold I was feeling vanished a minute ago." Was her only answer.
They hold their gaze in each other for a moment and then she walked inside. The place was almost an exact replica of his first bike shop, but this one was much bigger. Jason moved around, he turned on the lights and the heater. Then he came up behind her and said...
"You should take off that coat. It's wet, you don't want to catch a cold."
He helped her take of the coat and hung it over a railing to dry. Then he disappeared into a room. When he came back he was holding a blanket. He walked closer to her and put the blanket around her shoulders.
"Here. That should be much better."
They were close, so close she could feel his warm breath on her face. He sighed and stepped away. He had brought her here so they could talk. And if he kept getting that close he would never be able to utter a single word. His mouth would only open to kiss her lips. And he wasn't sure that she still wanted a kiss from him. There was too much hurt and misunderstandings that needed to be cleared first.
Elizabeth walked to a table were a collection of cd's were spread out. She started to look through the collection and found a couple she owned herself. Jason observed her quietly as she inspected the cd's. He saw her pick up a couple and set them aside. Then she found one and let out a soft giggle. She turned to meet his amuse glare and she waved a Britney Spears cd at him.
"Britney Spears? Never peg you as a bubble gum pop kinda guy." She said with a teasing smile.
"Those are not mine. Calvin must've left them there."
"Calvin?" She said lifting an interrogative brow.
"Calvin, my employee."
She dropped the case and took the two cd's and walked toward him. "So this is yours. All of it." She said signaling around the garage.
"Yes."
"Do you like it?"
"It resembles the first one, but this one is more... I don't know, this one seems more you. It suits you."
"That's good or bad?"
"Good."
"Good." He repeated with a smile. "Come. I want to change this." He said touching his shirt. It was soaked and it clung to his broad shoulders. He turned and started to walk up the stairs.
Elizabeth watched him at first and heaved a long breath. Jason Morgan was the sexiest man alive. And she was following him upstairs. She shook her head and followed him. This wasn't the moment to have lustful thoughts. Bad Elizabeth, bad.
~ Upstairs~
Elizabeth reached the landing to find a very shirtless Jason Morgan. She had forgotten what a nice chest he had. Bad Elizabeth, bad. She looked away as she blush at her thoughts. Jason finished putting on a dry long sleeve shirt and turned to found a very pink Elizabeth Webber looking everywhere but at him. He smiled.
"Did you like what you saw?"
"I wasn't looking." She said startled.
He let out a laugh. "I was talking about the loft. It's not big, but it's comfortable. The bathroom is over there. It's not too big. And there's a small kitchen in there."
Elizabeth examined the place carefully. A dark blue comforter covered the bed and it contrasted with the curtains. A small entertainment center was lining over the railing and was positioned in front of the bed. The bureau and the armoire where red oak and the walls were a deep brown color. The night stands were also red oak. Each one had a lamp and a couple of books over them. She guessed they were travel books. The place was sober and clean. Not a bit of clutter or unnecessary adorning. It reminded her of his room at Jake's. It suited him.
"I had to take control over my life after everything that happened last year. I was lost until you rescued me at Jake's. I'm here thanks to you."
His words caught her by surprise. He was standing at the other side of the room and the darkness had taken over his gaze again. She didn't spoke. Something told her this was just the beginning he was going to tell her whatever it was that was hunting him.
Sensing she wasn't going to speak he continued. "I never used to think about the past and what if's until you walked out. Every time I saw you I was reminded of what I could never have, so I decided to moved on."
She sat down on the bed silently. He had moved on. She already knew that fact, hell she saw him do it. But it still hurt to hear him say the words. She swallowed and looked away. He saw the hurt in her eyes and cursed himself. He didn't want to hurt her, but he had to say everything he had been holding inside for so long. "I never planned to move on with her. We started out as friends, but then I began to care about her. She reminded me of Carly. She was loyal and a take action kind of girl. She didn't depended on her brother or her husband. She looked out for those she loved and took on the world all alone. But when the stalker thing came up, I could see she wasn't as tough as she seemed. She acted like she wasn't scared, when I could see in her eyes that she really was."
She looked at him talk about his wife and he seemed far away. When he turned he found her eyes. "She reminded me of you too." Elizabeth's eyes widen in surprise and disbelieve.
"She used to put on an act, a front. But I could see pass that and into her real feelings, she was scared and she needed me then. I needed to keep my mind occupied, so I couldn't think about you, about how much I was hurting. I didn't have a chance to ever get back what I really wanted and I cared about her, so when she offered more than a friendship I took it."
Jason was having a hard time holding back tears. When he spoke next his voice broke. "I-I was selfish. She was in love with me, and after getting to know her better my feelings changed too. She was so kind and innocent. I should've walked away. But I didn't. I had done the wrong thing twice. First I had taken Robin into my world when she didn't want to be in it, so she left. And then I tried to keep you away. I tried to keep you safe at all cost and the price was too high. I lost you. So I put it all in the line for her. So she could be happy. I-I never knew it would end like that."
Elizabeth saw a tear slowly travel down Jason's cheeks until it dropped in his shirt. "Jason."
She said his name in a whisper. He looked at her and sat on the edge of the bed by her side. "I went against Sonny. I almost lost everything I had so she could know how much I have grown to love her. Sonny came around and when she said she was alright with my way of life I went back to doing my job. After her divorce, she moved in with me. I was content. At the time I thought I had everything I wanted. We went through a lot of things together and she was always there. She stood by me time and time again. Every time I got arrested, whenever there was a hit... she was always there."
Elizabeth closed her eyes. He hadn't said the words but she heard them anyway. "She stood by me, something you didn't do."
Jason breathed in and out and went on. "I wasn't there when she needed me, though. She lost our child and I couldn't feel the lost with her. I didn't know how to grief for something, someone I never knew existed. When she got hooked with the painkillers I didn't even notice at first. And when she needed me the most, I failed miserably. I told her to go back to the penthouse, but she didn't listened to me. "
Elizabeth frowned at his last words. What was he talking about? The words came out desperately. She moved her hand on top of his to give him some comfort. He looked at her again tears in his eyes. "I didn't see the guns pointed at her. I got distracted and then she was gone."
Elizabeth couldn't help the gasp of surprise that left her mouth. Courtney was dead. Everything that happened during the time she saw him months ago flashed through her mind, Carly's words at the docks two weeks ago, everything made sense now. He had lost everything he had. She tighten her grip on his hand and suddenly he made a move and leaned into her. She moved her arms over his shoulders and held him in her arms. He cried on her shoulder.
After a long time his sobs were controlled and he eased back from her arms. He moved his hands to dry his tears, but hers were already there. Her small and soft fingers dried his face and caressed his cheeks. Her eyes were sad, she was sad. She was sad that his life had turned out like that, if there was someone in the world that deserved to be happy that was Jason Morgan.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to break down. I guess I had the tears build up inside. Tomorrow is going to be a year since she... since she passed."
Tomorrow. God, she died the same day she had left Port Charles. Had she known she would've... no she couldn't go there. Not now.
"Sonny said it was my fault and he yelled a lot. He made arrangements to dissolve every financial partnership we had and he left Port Charles with his family."
Elizabeth frowned again. She thought Sonny would've been a little more compassionate than that. After all Jason had signed up his life to him a long time ago. Jason's voice broke her thoughts. "He was right. It was my fault. If we hadn't been married Faith might never have come after her."
She spoke then, her voice filled with outrage. "Are you sure about that? Because, Faith Roscoe was a viper, a mercenary that didn't care about anything or anyone. If Courtney hadn't been with you, she was still a way to get to Sonny. Sonny was wrong, and he was a hypocrite. He always babbled about loyalty and honor and at his first chance to prove his loyalty to you, what does he do? He kicks you to the curb? He had no right to blame you for something you didn't have power over. You shouldn't have gone trough that alone."
"M-Monica and Emily tried to find me after it happened but all I wanted was to disappear. I stayed in Port Charles, I didn't want anything from Sonny. So I never touched any of the accounts. I had a lot of cash so I used that. I made my way from bar, to bar and I slept wherever slumber caught me. I wanted to be numb and the only way I knew how, was drinking myself to oblivion and fighting."
"That was how I found you." Elizabeth was looking down and felt him get up from the bed and kneel in front of her.
"My guardian angel." His words were soft and his hand cupped her chin. "If you hadn't found me I don't know where I'd be right now."
"I didn't do anything."
"Yes you did. Without knowing it, you helped me see the light. She was gone, but I was still alive. I had to let her go." He stood up and looked at her again. "I still feel her sometimes. Some girl laughs and for a second I think she's gonna come around the corner and smile at me like she used to."
Elizabeth saw the cd's she had brought up from the garage and stood up with one of them. She walked over to the stereo and put the cd in the carrousel. She took his hand. "Listen to this song. But really listen, maybe it will help ease the pain. You can concentrate on the good times you spend together. Someone once told me that things happen fast but you have to live through them slow. It hurts a lot but believe me, slowly the pain goes away."
The song started playing and Jason closed his eyes and tried to listen to the words.
~*~I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone ~*~
Jason stood up and walked to the window. The snow was still falling, everything was covered in white. He closed his eyes and saw Courtney laying on his arms. Snow falling around them and then he heard her words again. "Jason, I love you I always have and I'll always will." Tears fell once again down his face. He opened his eyes and saw the snow again.
~*~These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase~*~
Then another voice filled his thoughts...
"Do you know what nothing feels like?"
"Yeah. That's pretty much where I live."
He wasn't expecting her... but for some reason there she was. His mind started to run through everything they have lived together. From saving his life on the snow to a bittersweet goodbye.
"I'm trying to paint the wind."
"Dance with me?" "Jason. Come on, get up."
"Oh come, oh ye faithful, joyous and triumphant..."
"The best bargain of the year!"
"When I said by myself, I meant by myself with you."
~*~When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me~*~
He was bombarded by the images and the feelings one after the other and he couldn't do anything to stop them.
"You really matter to me. We're clear on that, right? You helped me discover the wind."
"I shouldn't be doing this... any of it. Letting you hold me being glad you're here. Wanting more than anything to get on the back of your motorcycle and ride on theat cliff road so fast the wind is just rushing and the road is a blur..."
"I want more than a friendship too."
Jason opened his eyes and looked up to find Elizabeth sitting on the edge of the bed. She was looking at him, concern shining in her eyes. "Would you dance with me?"
Elizabeth was surprised by his request but she simply nodded. She stood up and walked to him as he extended his arms to her.
~*~You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me~*~
"You've always being honest with me... I don't want to lose that, I don't want to lose you. So that's my decision. I want you in my life."
"You know, the whole time you were gone, whenever I'd hear a motorcycle, there was this split second where I'd think it was you. So I guess the real answer is.... I've been waiting since you left."
"Having a connection with you, I know it was selfish, but it was something I never stopped wanting."
"...I held on as long as I did because of you... My faith in you was unshakable and justified."
~*~These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase~*~
"If this is goodbye, why does it feel so wrong?"
"...Just for tonight, just for this moment I don't want to be safe."
~*~When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me~*~
"You're not running away to protect me. You're doing it to protect yourself."
"Don't you get it yet! Is not OK for you to just drop out of my life. I would miss you too much. The way you just let me be who I want to be, the way you listen, the way you care like no one ever has before."
"You are who I want to be with. There I said it. Do you believe me? Do you feel the same way or are you going to pull away again?"
"If I had decided not to go for a walk that morning or even stop for a cup of coffee first, you'd probably be dead. I would've never spend that Christmas with you, or gotten a piece of red glass or my post card from Italy. Those things changed me. They made my life after you different from my life before."
"Are you going to miss me when I go?"
"You listened when no one else could hear me. You trusted me to life my own life, when I didn't even trust in myself. You make me happy, you make me feel free."
~*~I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me
I've been alone all along~*~
"No. Sorry. I'm here and I'm in it and I count. You know what the ironic thing is? Is that you actually did tell me the truth, I just didn't want to hear it. When you kept pushing me away and you warned about who you really are, I should have listened instead of making you up in my head. But you are Sonny's ... Sonny's enforcer first last and always. I hope is enough."
The words that changed his life forever echoed in his head. They had burned a whole in his heart that could never be filled again... not by anyone else but her.
"If I were still hung up on that I wouldn't be here. And I sure as hell wouldn't have being worried about you for the last five months. I certainly wouldn't be losing sleep over how cold an empty your eyes look. Just now, I would have being thinking about how messed up my life is and trying to do something about it, but instead I've being wondering what happened to you and how to help you."
~*~When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me~*~
The music stopped and he opened his eyes. He had his head buried in her neck and she was cradling him in her arms, one of her hands was playing with his hair and the other one was around his waist. They had stopped dancing after a while and he wasn't crying anymore. He stood up and looked at her again. He inhaled, and the realization hit him. He was falling in love with Elizabeth Webber, all over again.
*** Evanecence- My Immortal ***