I don't own anything except the stuff I make up

By an unidentified walking object

So one day Lizzie was walking to school when she saw something out of the corner of her eye. It was a person in a black trench coat carrying a violin case. Lizzie was intrigued by the dude so she asked, "What do you have in that violin case sir/ma'am?" The unidentified walking person replied "porno magz, what else?" Lizzie was now downright excited! "Can I see some?" she asked. "You can, but first you will have to pass a series of dangerous and unrealistic tests!!"

"Ok!" Lizzie said not fearing the dangers ahead!!!!

Then she was magically transported to her...........HIGH SCHOOL (betcha didn't c that 1 coming!)

"Test one," an ominous voice replied "shall be a challenge!"

"No shit Sherlock," Lizzie replied underneath her breath. She walked down the hallway, looking for Miranda but then out of nowhere came.................LARRY TOUCH-MEN!!! All the sudden she realized homeboy had it going on!!! "Larry I just realized you make me hungry like the WOLF!!!!" (Yes I am a Duran Duran fan)

"Sorry," Larry said, "But my one true love, well actually I have two, are whisky and Ashton Kutcher!"

Lizzie continued onward when who jumped out of the girl's lockeroom but...............GORDO!

"Gordo, what were you doing in there?"

"But Lizzie, didn't you know, I went through puberty last night and now I'm the total ladies man. I may not be any taller, but now my (word that cannot said on the Disney channel) is 4 ½ feet long.

"Dude, can I see? In case you in forgot while we were in Italy over the summer you fathered my child. Or was that the Italian pop star? No wait that's Ms. Ungermeyer. Forget about it dude. Let's go trip over stuff at go to that really annoying internet café place and get into some mild form of trouble."

"Sure, I'll see if Kate can come. After all, Miranda mysteriously disappeared again. Let's go pretend nothing was wrong with her contract with this shitty show."

"Lizzie," the ominous voice said, "Go into the girls bathroom and bring a camera!!"

"Why," Lizzie said inquisitively.

"Because it makes me happy!" The ominous voice replied. So Lizzie did as she was told and the man/woman in the black trench coat reappeared took the camera and said "Thank you Lizzie! I finally have something to show to the boys the Digital Bang!"

"Now be prepared for the horror of challenge TWO!!!!" (But you can totally bang Gordo first)

R&R or else I won't write anymore!!! mwa ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!