Chapter 12: To Be or Not To Be

Lily didn't get a chance to speak to Sirius while she was still in the common room, the whole time he was surrounded by the Marauders. She had promised Herra that she would speak to him alone, without any side comments from the other three Marauders- or rather just from James.

Lily and Herra had only just left the interior of the castle through the large oak doors after just finishing their lunch in the Great Hall and were walking across the damp grounds near the entrance. A cold breeze was pleasantly panging their faces, but that was to be expected because it was a rather cold day. They fortunately spotted Sirius walking by the edge of the Forbidden Forest, surprisingly but nevertheless alone, usually people would never see him and James apart.

Lily and Herra stopped walking just as they had reached the edge of the lake and had seen Sirius. "Should I speak to him now?" Lily asked Herra.

"Yeah, but what if he says no... you're not going to be obvious, are you?" enquired Herra uneasily.

Lily sighed. "No Herra, I'm not going to be obvious," she reminded her friend again, for what seemed like the umpteenth time.

"But what if he says no?"

"He's not going to say no, Herra, and I'm not asking him anyway... I'm hinting him to ask you, remember."

"How do you know that he would anyway?"

"Herra, will you stop asking questions? Do you want me to speak to him or not?" asked Lily impatiently.

Herra frowned and paused to look contemplatively at the distant figure of Sirius still walking by the edge of the Forbidden Forest. "Yeah... all right," she finally said.

Lily rolled her eyes in triumph, "great, just trust me with this, Herra," she said firmly.

Herra nodded, "I will," she replied with a small smile.

Lily departed from Herra, leaving her alone by the lake with no doubts that she was now being watched as closely as possible by her. She turned and walked towards Sirius's direction, she had thought about what she was going to say, and running it over in her head, it seemed quite fool proof. Lily didn't really want to speak to Sirius, mainly because she had never quite got along with him in the first place. However, she had promised Herra that she would speak to him and even though she had shown much resentment towards it herself, Lily knew Herra would regret it if she didn't allow Lily to speak to him.

She sighed as she emerged quietly behind Sirius, who was still slowly tracing around the edge of the Forbidden Forest, obviously not aware of anyone following him. Lily quickly ran over the strategy she had planned once more before finally opening her mouth to speak.

"Sirius, you haven't saw Herra around anywhere, have you?" she asked, trying to sound as offhand as she possibly could.

Sirius stopped walking and quickly turned around to face Lily. "No, I haven't, why... can't you find her anywhere?" he asked.

This was going to be quite easy, Sirius obviously liked her, otherwise why would he be acting so concerned about her whereabouts?

"No, I can't... last time I saw her was in the common room, "said Lily, carefully admitting every word.

Sirius shrugged, his elegant dark hair slightly quavering in effect, "I don't know, maybe you should ask Sandra though, she's talking about stalking her and getting revenge," he said with a roll of his dark eyes.

Lily quickly abandoned her current thoughts and became apprehensive with a new concern. "Really, she is?" she asked with interest, "Where did you hear that?"

"When she was talking to Prongs, he's actually getting along with her quite well, I don't know why though... I guess great minds don't think alike," he replied with a smirk.

Lily frowned, however Sirius had just made what she was trying to do a lot easier. She had planned on talking about Sandra before she was going to hint to Sirius to ask Herra out and he had already introduced the topic.

"Herra hates her, quite a lot of people do. Was you on Herra's side the other day when they nearly had a fight?" asked Lily, quickly rebounding back to what she was supposed to be focused on.

"Yeah, why would I be on Miss's I-Love-Myself side?" asked Sirius sardonically with an arched eyebrow.

"Did you really want to see Herra punch her?" Lily questioned, again trying her hardest not to give away anything, but Sirius's sardonic manner now seemed to be making it harder.

"Of course, I wish she did as well... except Prongs had to act like the hero and save Sandra, nothing new there," he said resignedly.

Lily paused for a short moment, but then continued to probe Sirius, "What do you think of Herra, anyway?" she asked curiously, getting to the point.

Sirius shrugged, it seemed like he was carefully thinking of an answer to Lily's question, but was greatly trying to cover it up by looking nonchalant. Lily risked a quick glance over to the lake where she and Herra had been previously standing, and could just see the distant figure of Herra sitting on the ground, leaning against a large rock.

"She's Ok, I mean... yeah, I like her," he said, not looking at Lily, but just an inch above her head where visible was the mass of oak trees leading into the Forbidden Forest behind her.

Lily frowned and watched Sirius as he continued to stare into the dark depths of the Forbidden Forest. "Can't you look at me and say that?" she asked sceptically.

Sirius broke his view and looked down at Lily, only to smirk in response. "I can't really say much because I know what you'll do, Evans, you girls like to have little gossiping chats where you discuss things," he argued, as if he was self-assured that he had everything clued up correctly.

Lily frowned, she and Herra had never once had 'little gossiping chats ', unlike other girls who seemed to have them on a daily basis. "Sirius... just tell me what you think of her, truthfully," she said again, this time more fixedly.

Sirius's smile suddenly broadened and his smirk grew significantly, "I'll tell you, if you tell me what you think of Prongs," he replied simply.

Lily frowned, she had expected a rebound from Sirius, but she had hoped it wouldn't have to be him asking her opinion on James.

"And why do you want to know what I think of James?" she asked impatiently, knowing a second later that she had made a mistake by saying this as it could easily backfire on her.

"Why do you want to know what I think of Herra?" fired back Sirius in an instant, however he then paused, a new pensive look upon his face, "Unless..."

Lily suddenly had an uneasy thought that Sirius had just edged on. "Unless what?" she questioned curiously.

Sirius scoffed, "I think I know what you're doing, you're just asking me for Herra, aren't you? "he asked, sounding like he didn't need an answer.

Lily tried to think fast of something to contradict with, but it was too late... he knew, and if he hadn't caught on already, the nervous look on Lily's face certainly made sure he did.

"So, Herra likes me?" he asked loftily.

Lily sighed, she wanted to talk to Sirius when he was in a sensible frame of mind, not his usual haughty one.

"And if she did, which you obviously presume she does, what would you think of it?" Lily asked, trying to focus the attention back on Sirius.

"You'll just have to wait and see, Evans," he said smugly, before turning away from her and walking the opposite way, towards the castle.

"Black, don't you dare say anything!" Lily called out after Sirius, however he just answered Lily with a wave of his hand from behind his back.

Lily watched the now distant figure of Sirius Black briskly walking towards the large oak doors guarding the entrance of the castle, she inwardly sighed- this couldn't be good. She had lost all feeling in her hands and feet, as they had become numb with unease about what Herra would say when she was to tell her what happened. Lily glanced over to where she was presumably still sitting, and felt a small knot in her stomach form as she watched her, still leaning against the large rock.

Lily had to tell her, she couldn't waste away the minutes of the day standing by the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest, even though what Sirius said may not of meant anything bad, she couldn't help but have a slightly bad feeling about it. With what seemed like a large effort, Lily unglued her feet from the ground and felt them regain their usual sense. She took one last glance at the distant figure of Sirius just entering through the oak doors into the castle and walked towards Herra's direction.

She gradually approached and quietly sat down on the soil next to Herra, she didn't seem to notice Lily's arrival and she portrayed a strange pensive look as she stared into the crystal depths of the lake.

"Herra?" Lily finally asked, in a half-hopeful attempt to get her attention.

Herra slightly jerked and turned away from the lake, she faced Lily and instantly frowned. "Oh no, that's not a happy face, what happened?" she asked uneasily.

Lily felt the knot in her stomach grow bigger, it wasn't necessarily much of a bad thing- at least Sirius hadn't laughed or acted overly complacent about it.

"Well, he sort of caught on before I got a chance to do anything, and I asked what he thought about you liking him, if you did, and he said that I'd find out soon... and then he rushed off into the castle," replied Lily carefully while watching Herra, who's eyes had grown bigger as Lily continued to tell her the details.

"Y- you what, Lily! I can't... Lily, what if... what am I going to do!" said Herra, finally constructing a fill sentence from her string of panicky words.

Lily continued to watch Herra silently; her complexion had paled a considerable amount, "Herra, calm down... it's ok, it seemed that he liked you anyway... and he won't embaress you or anything," she said, trying to sound comforting to her flustered best friend.

Herra made an indignant scoffing noise. "And what if he does?" she asked.

"Herra, if he does embarrass you, which he won't, just remember that we can just as easily turn the tables on him," Lily replied serenely.

Herra, if it was possible, frowned even more. "How?" she questioned.

"We'll find a way... but he hasn't even done anything yet, I think he made it obvious he liked you back, just wait and see," said Lily attentively.

Herra features softened and she smiled weakly. "You better be right, Lily," she replied.

-x

Lily didn't see much of Herra for the rest of the day; lessons had resumed shortly after they had both finished discussing the conversation that Lily and Sirius had shared earlier. She and Herra were not in any of the same lessons, so Lily was able to think freely, without Herra shooting nervous questions at her about her talk with Sirius.

The day went rather quick, and even though Lily had yet to do Head Boy and Girl duties with James, she felt quite awake and not at all drowsy. She made her way to the Gryffindor common room after her last lesson of the day, Charms.

"Sugar Letto," said Lily to the portrait of The Fat Lady who guarded the entrance to the Gryffindor common room, she nodded in approval and swung open the door, allowing Lily access inside.

What Lily saw when she entered the common room made her pulse immediately leap, she felt a mixed emotion of shock, relief and surprise immediately lock into her. It was Sirius and Herra, sitting closely together on a scarlet squashy sofa near the flickering fireplace. They hadn't noticed Lily yet, however they were avidly conversing about something and much to Lily's relief, they were both smiling.

Herra's eyes were vibrantly glinting; the flames from the fire had reflected into them, glazing them with an amber tint that had entwined with the natural blueness of her eyes. She was grinning at Sirius, who returned a most enchanting, striking smile, which refined his handsome looks even more elegantly. Sirius' right arm was casually positioned around Herra's shoulders and Herra tapped her right hand on his knee while she laughed aloud at a joke he had just told.

Lily felt relief, happiness and somewhat amusement all at once. Herra looked so blissful and even though she wasn't acting overly ecstatic, Lily knew she was probably exploding inside.

Herra suddenly looked away from Sirius and she flinched as her eyes came to match Lily's, however she then smiled. Lily smirked in return, a moment later Sirius had also noticed her, his lips instantly perked upwards into a complacent smirk as he faced Lily, he then winked.

"Hey, Lily," he said.

Lily felt like an intruder to their conversation as she stood watching from the circular portrait hole.

"Hey, Sirius... I'll see you later then, Herra," she replied gingerly, crossing her eyes over to Herra, who was still smiling broadly.

"Ok, Lil's," she said in response.

Lily stood rooted to the spot for a moment; she was still transfixed on the scene before her, Herra and Sirius... together. She knew Sirius liked her, but nevertheless, Lily had been feeling extremely uneasy about what the outcome of their previous discussion could have been, and she felt so relieved to see Herra and Sirius sitting before her, not at all in a tense atmosphere.

It took Lily a moment before she realised that she was supposed to leave, and she was reminded once again when Herra and Sirius both gave her equally questioning looks.

"Oh, sorry," said Lily awkwardly.

She turned away and walked towards the entwining black staircase that led to the girl's dormitories. Lily climbed up and quietly opened the seventh year girl's dormitory door and then just as quietly closed it behind her.

A/N: Aww, I loved writing that chapter, even if it was a bit soppy.